Name: The Disgusting Parts of History
Uploaded: 2023-09-05T19:08:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Disgusting Parts of History' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Disgusting Parts of History' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-05. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience if you could go back if you go back at any point in
time see how people were living ooh
Just be like in an invisible
Bulletproof bubble you could just exist and watch and no one would know you
were there. Whoa
That'd be fun if you're like 1890s. No danger
Yeah, anything whatever you want, whatever you want is Germany no
Occupied France you fucking see what I would want all occupied Wall Street. I'd
be like this is so quaint
Really good
Seems like you're not doing a lot with it. I would say dark ages plague. No,
that'd be a nightmare
Your bulletproof is a good detail - yeah, yeah, you're you are in another
universe
Okay, you're you exist in another dimension. You're you're in a dimensional
sphere
That's allowing you to take place without you can't talk to anybody. You can't
be interacted with nothing can touch you
Impossible you can't fucking middle-aged whores. No, no, you can't go nutty
Middle-aged whores were eight back then
They were just dying
There's a book called the great mortality by John Kelly. I was looking at it is
fucking crazy the king of England showered
Three times in three months. Oh, and that was a scandal. Everyone was like this
motherfucker is using up the water
He thinks he is something else right. No one shot. It was rare to change your
clothes once a year
God, yeah, well, that's what they said about the Mongols that their clothes
because there was animal skins
They were literally yeah rats living it literally rot off of them. Oh, wow
Rotting off of them. There's two places. I would go there. I would want to see
Genghis Kong take over like cool cities in chair
I would like to see that. I'd love to see somebody being at a Pol Pot village
right before he comes shit like that
Yeah, imagine the pussy smell then
Louis the 14th was terrified of bathing said to have taken only three baths in
his life
Louis took the trend for perfumery to new heights by
Commissioning his perfumer to create a new scent for each day of the week
Oh
Oh
It was thought that water spread disease so the less you bait the less
vulnerable you were it probably did you know, why?
Yeah, why?
Shitting into holes in the ground and
Washing their assholes were just same water everyone throwing their shit out of
their fucking window, right?
No plumbing I was slaughterhouses everywhere
That detailed when people were like at the beginning of the the turn of the
century in America and what it was like in like the early
1900s in America. Oh, yeah, they couldn't get food up to them
Amazon's dropping off your produce. No like back then no one's dropping off
jack shit. Yeah in the city. No one's growing anything
That's it. It's terrible nutrition this this is an article called the
disgusting history of royal palaces. Hell yeah
It's the very like first thing. That's how he's court what about it because I
have so much human waste. That was accumulating
No castle they actually did escape the disgusting messes large royal parties
produced palaces like Henry's Hampton court had to be constantly
Evacuated so they could be cleaned of the accumulated mounds of human waste no
plumbing
Livestock and farmland also needed time to recover after supplying food for so
many people
Once the tour was over Henry and a swelling court of over a thousand would keep
moving for the rest of the year
Traveling frequently between the king's 60 residences in a vain attempt to live
in hygienic surroundings
So he just kept shitting in all his different houses
Didn't know not to just shit in your house. He's the hoarder. He just kept
moving a spot. You don't want to go outside
This room's done. You go outside you might get hit with an arrow. Yeah, just shitting
the palace. Yeah, there's a guy with an axe out
So there's a million Jason Voorhees is outside
Oh my god the hallways would become so caked with grime and soot from constant
fires that they were fairly black
The very crush of the court members was so dense that it made a thorough housecleaning
impossible and futile
Though cleanliness standards were subpar throughout the the medieval
Renaissance and Regency eras royal courts were typically dirtier than the
average small cabin or home. I'll be honest Europe still fucking stinks, dude
I was just there last week. This one really stink. None of the windows are
great
They call us fat did they stink like shit. I don't care true. They do think a
lot. Oh, it's the worst. I'm not doing great. Are they noticeably?
Fatter no
Thinner, but I'm saying UK is catching up UK's got some chugs on our heels.
Yeah, really ten years 20 years ahead of them
They're pasty fast food and shit. They just got there. They're gross fat like
pasty and red. There's nothing wrong being pasty red and fat
Some people like it dude some girls like it all right
But yeah, you know they said in old New York they'd have to they had a company
that would just move dead horses
On the road because horses just die and they just leave it there. What are you
gonna push it in a dumpster? Oh Jesus who paid for that taxes?
And there's horseshit everywhere yeah horse shit everywhere, but it's like an
old car that just breaks down you just leave it and
By the way
Imagine living in a whole city that's filled with people who took a fucking
boat from Europe
Everybody's a gambler dude everyone's a gambler. Those are wild folks. Ellis
Island must have smelled horrible. A boat that might not get there
Might not get there for a chance and right. How do you how much do you really
know about what's over there? Yeah, then somebody lied to you at a bar and
I've got 15 gold pants a day and then you show up and you're like, what is this
black?
son of a bitch
Yeah, you show up and they go hey, you're going to fight in the civil war
Yeah, what the fuck is that?
Wait, we're in a war with Italians here. We haven't even met them before. You
got to shoot at other Irish guys right away
weird
Mmm. Oh, yeah, the Donner party like let's take a chance on a different state
Grandpa just died. Just keep walking should we go next year. Ah, we got to go
this year. Yeah
Curiosity how many people have they talked to that made that journey before
them? Yeah, fucking was there anybody? No a couple
The one guy was like, I know a better way guide. Oh
You gotta leave by March and they're like mate late May still works. Oh
No, they just assumed something over there
They're just yeah
They're kind of guessing they would eat like leather and shit. Yeah, just boil
a shoe fucking the whole time
Well in the back of those wagons. Yeah, they would have kids. They have kids
really yeah, there's nothing to do
You're just stuck in the back of a wagon. They split up one of the two parties
had one fucking axe for firewood
And they were swinging it and then the fucking axe handle just flew off 200
yards into the snow and they were like
He couldn't find it. It was gone. What? Yeah, they had to leave a lot of trees
on fire. That didn't work
Do you read that book under the the indifferent stars above? No, we're just
nearby there. Oh really? Other histories everywhere
They found when they found them they were like snow the snow drifts were so big
that they were in pits of like
20 feet of snow they would like the people the the rescue people found them
They would like look in the pit. They'd see someone just like yeah eating
humans like
Not to mention some fucking Choctaws coming at you with a face paint
No, they had a couple of Indian guides and then they saw them looking at them
like drumsticks in those cartoons
Sacagawea sack lunch