Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2042 - Joe List
Uploaded: 2023-09-30T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2042 - Joe List' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2042 - Joe List' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-30. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2042 - Joe List

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
Loud and smooth, baby.
Hey, what's your list? What's happening, baby?
We're back.
The two Joes.
What's going on, Joseph?
The Smokin' Joes.
That's us, dude.
Last night was fun as fuck.
It's been fun having you.
Two nights in a row.
Yeah, thanks.
Three nights.
I was there for, well, I don't know if I'm allowed to say.
Yeah, I was there Monday.
Yeah.
But, yeah, it's been awesome.
I mean, obviously everyone tells you, everyone says it.
It's one of those things, I wanted to be the guy that was like,
I don't know, it's not so great.
But, no, it's fucking awesome.
No, we did it right.
What an atmosphere.
Yeah.
Great green room.
I mean, it's the only green room you can smoke cigars in.
That's not true.
I was just in Nashville at Zaney's, and the manager was very nice,
and he was like, you can smoke a cigar if you want.
Oh, yeah, Zaney's is great.
But I was like, I don't think I'm doing smoke a cigar in the green room numbers.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, I need to add a couple shows before you're lighting a fucking stick
in the green room, I think.
I think when we were in England, they told us that if you smoke inside, it's
like a severe fine.
Like, something, like, really crazy.
So, you can't even smoke in the green room in England if you do, like, shows.
Right.
Yeah.
Mostly, I don't like smoking indoors because it just, you fucking stink, and
the secondhand smoke can bother me.
But your green room is, like, really well ventilated also.
Yeah, if you see there's big vents in the ceiling in that place when you go in
there, we set it up on purpose so that people can smoke in there.
No, I like when you can just watch the smoke just go straight out.
You're like, this is nice.
Yeah, because so many of the comics smoke cigarettes and, you know, and, you
know, you want to suck the air out.
You don't want everybody to be subject to it.
It's a wet dream in there.
Have you had anyone get too fucked up where you're like, dude, you gotta,
because all I think about when I was drinking, if you just had whiskey and booze
with, like, help yourself, there's got to be a few people that are going to be
problematic at some point.
Everybody's been keeping it together so far.
Okay.
We'll see.
We'll see as the crowd grows.
I'm interested, it feels like a kind of thing I come back in a year and it's
like behind, there's a safe with all the booze in it and they're like, yeah,
fucking so-and-so came in and ruined everybody.
Nah, I don't think there's that many of those super off-the-rail guys left.
I think that's a good point.
My wife and I talk about this a lot, but I think maybe because we're older,
though, I'm sure there's a bunch of comics in their 20s that really get after
it.
Yeah, I bet that's true.
Yeah, we just probably don't know them.
I'm thinking, like, established comics, because there was, like, established
comics when I was coming up that were, like, national headliners that you just
knew were off the rails.
Yeah, I actually think it's very difficult to sustain boozing that hard and be
successful.
Most of it was coke was what I, when someone was, like, an off-the-rails guy,
like, completely out of control.
It was booze, but it was a lot of coke.
Right.
Were you over a coke guy?
No.
No, me either.
Yeah.
That's what I wanted to say.
I was too afraid of snorting a thing.
And then no one ever said good things about coke to me until later I heard
every once in a while.
But mostly people were like, oh, don't do coke.
It makes you crazy.
Your heart's going to explode.
Like, people didn't sell cocaine to me.
Well, it just didn't seem like the people that I saw doing coke were going
anywhere.
It just seemed like it was tripping up their life pretty bad.
Right, right.
I was very fortunate that when I was in high school, my friend, his cousin, was
selling it.
And his cousin got addicted to it.
And I watched this guy go from being, like, a normal guy to being this, like,
person who just, like, hung out in this attic apartment and lost all this
weight.
And just, like, they just did coke and watched TV and sold coke.
It's like you got bit by a vampire.
Yeah.
You know?
I'm always afraid my heart is going to explode even without doing coke.
Like, I actually have, like, my heart will raise.
I'm just so paranoid about heart.
Does heart shit ever fuck you up, like, mentally?
The fact that your heart beats every second or whatever for 80 years, and if it
stops, that's the end of it.
That's how it works, Joe List.
I know, but does that ever, like, trip you out a little bit?
I'm not, I mean, I don't want to sound like, it's fucking crazy, man, but I'm
like, that's nuts.
It is nuts.
Yeah, and if it stops, you're dead.
And if you get a transplant, it's a motherfucker.
They're trying to do pig transplants now.
They did it on this one guy and one person.
I don't know if it was a guy or a gal or a non-binary folk, like a fisher folk,
but they did it, and the person stayed alive for a short amount of time.
I think it was like a couple weeks.
So they just jammed a pig heart in there?
It's a modified pig heart, somehow or another.
Pig parts and human parts apparently are, like, super similar in some way.
I've fucked a few pigs.
Hello, folks.
Hey, you son of a gun.
What does it say here?
How long did the man with the pig heart live?
He lived for 61 days.
Hey, that's not bad.
That's not bad.
Good run.
Researcher should have been working on the new pig to human transplantation
technique for over 30 years.
If successful, harvesting hearts from genetically modified pigs whose genes
have been altered so they can be safely transplanted to humans may one day be a
reality.
Wow.
I think on the way to that, though, I bet they're going to, like, 3D print
hearts.
Yeah, I think so.
I think, you know, as scary as AI is, I think all our problems are over, dude.
We're going to be making hearts and brains and all kinds of shit.
We're going to be connected to the Matrix, eating steak, being an important
person, like Joey Pants.
Yeah, we're going to be great.
I'm going to have perfect eyesight and a strong jawline by the end of the year,
I think.
You're not going to stop there.
You're going to look like He-Man.
I'm going to go buy a fucking big chest cock.
Yeah, you're going to go Superman.
You're going to go the Hulk.
Why wouldn't you?
What, do you want to be a fucking human when you can be a superhero?
If you can genetically alter yourself to make yourself more, like, masculine
and thick and bigger and stronger,
why would you stop at 3 when you can go to 26?
Right.
Well, I don't think I could be more masculine, but I do feel like I would like,
yeah, some more girth and really...
If that could be done genetically, though, where would you stop?
That's the question.
Right.
People would get ridiculous.
It's like when people don't...
I mean, I'm sure you've seen those Instagram videos of people with fake butts
walking on the beach.
Yes.
They just went so far.
It's like, what?
This is great.
You're going to die.
That stuff can't be good for you.
Like, what is that?
Yeah, I see it all the time.
It just...
You just look imbalanced.
It doesn't look good.
It looks insane.
It looks insane.
It's an insane look.
But my point is, like, if they can do that with genetics, if it ever gets to a
point where the mold of what we think of as the human physique has been
completely thrown out the window,
because now we're going to alter it from its very core to be a completely
different structure.
You're going to just change what a person looks like.
People are going to be giants.
They're going to be dragons.
It's going to be fucking real life cosplay.
Right.
Do you think anybody will be like, I'm sticking with this?
I'm going long and thin and...
Oh, there's going to be a few people that pretend for a little while.
Well, those are the same folks that say, I don't even have email.
Fuck you.
Right.
You got email now, bitch.
You know, like, in 2001, you might not have had email.
You know, but I bet you have it now.
Yeah.
Well, you have to have it now, I feel like.
Yeah, you kind of have to have it now.
I enjoy email.
That's my take.
Well, it's certainly better than not having email.
I mean, people are like, well, and the privacy, and they're hacking your email,
and they're
sending you these scams, and yep, yep, that's what comes with this new thing.
Well, I just had a friend who works for some business that was getting, I don't
know all
the details, nor would I share them if I had them, but their company was
getting sued or
something, and then they just accessed his emails, and now they have 100% of
his emails.
So he was saying, like, don't ever email a fucking joke, like, hey, I'm going
to kill
that guy or anything, because they have it.
Like, we should do all phone communication.
Maybe they're listening to the phones, too.
I don't know.
Yeah, I'm sure they are.
I think they didn't lock that down quick enough, and when Edward Snowden
exposed the NSA's
gigantic sweeping surveillance sort of thing, and it's all under the guise of
stopping terrorism,
which, by the way, you fucking never hear about anymore.
What happened to terrorism?
We nailed it.
Climate change took the spot of terrorism.
Well, we stopped it.
Patriot Act worked, baby.
It must have.
We did it.
It must have, otherwise they'd be talking about it.
We done did it.
Do you remember when, after 9-11, there would be a threat level, like a code?
Yeah.
Today's code is yellow.
It was like forest fires.
Like, okay, we're good.
Yellow's good.
Right.
You know, I'd have to bring a bulletproof vest to Starbucks.
Yeah, it was scary as fuck.
It was like, they really got to us.
But they nailed that terrorist attack.
I mean, they knocked it out of the park, so.
It was certainly, it was like one of the all-time great terrorist attacks in
terms of publicity.
In terms of, like, how it affected the world.
It's got to be number one, right?
Yeah.
But it's just a crazy thing that an action like that changes your rights
forever.
Changes everybody's rights forever.
But don't you think, someone was just debating this somewhere.
Doesn't it feel like COVID feels like it changed life more than 9-11?
Like, 9-11, it's now, like, shoes, and you can't, at the airport, and you can't
go to the gate.
Right.
But other than that, it doesn't really feel that different.
Whereas COVID does feel different, where, like, cities have emptied out, and
people still wear masks, and six feet.
It's just much more, life feels more different after this than it did 9-11, in
my eyes.
Well, because COVID got everyone to comply.
COVID got everyone to do things that whoever was on television was telling you
to do.
Right.
It became a different thing, where there was an experimental medication, and
you were encouraged to take it.
And if you took it, you wanted other people to take it, too.
Right.
There's a fucking thing that people do.
When they do something, they want you to do it, too.
And especially if they can connect what they did with doing the right thing,
they want you to do it.
Sure.
People do that with everything.
They do that with yoga class.
You don't think they do that with vaccines?
No, I think this all the time in New York, where you see people, one person
starts crossing the street while the light is green, and literally the entire
herd starts following them.
And then a car comes like, fucking, and then they have to jump back, because
they were just watching that one person.
Yeah, happens all the time.
People go in, well, that's also cell phone brain, too.
Right.
Because people are constantly checking their, oh, we're walking now?
And they just will walk.
Yeah.
Did you know, I heard this recently, that gum sales have gone down, gum and
candy, because people are looking at their phone in line at, like, CVS, instead
of just staring at, you know how they have the gum and candy underneath the
register?
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, that's wha