Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings
Uploaded: 2023-11-10T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-10. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Like, could that have duzed labor, getting in a cold plunge, eight months
pregnant?
Ask Jamie, he would know.
Jamie, get on that. I'm sure there's a Reddit forum for that.
Last time I tried.
Last night with those smelling salts, people doing the smelling salts, I was
like, if I even inhale that, I feel like I'm going to start crowning.
Yeah, it's very funny how those smelling salts have made their way from the
studio to now at the club.
Everybody's doing smelly salts.
Between the kratom and the smelly salts.
You got to keep the kratom away from Duncan.
That motherfucker drinks cases of that stuff.
It's so crazy.
We get there.
And is kratom naturally occurring?
It's like a plant.
Yeah, that stuff is live free or whatever it's called.
What are those things called, Jamie?
Hmm.
What is it called?
Live free?
That's the brand?
I don't know.
But they used to have them at, like, Sun Life.
You know that place?
Organics?
Yeah, yeah.
But then, you know, you're not supposed to drink.
They're that big.
Okay.
And you're supposed to drink a half a bottle.
Okay.
But they're not clear.
So you have to kind of, like, hold it up to the light to see where half is.
You got to guess, like, what half is.
And a lot of people were just drinking the whole thing.
And they were getting fucked up.
Yeah.
There was a time when you were out of town.
And I was at the mothership.
And everyone was doing, like, four or five things.
I was like, you guys, when Joe leaves, we can't all just get addicted to drugs.
Like, this is, like, when you're out of town, it is a little different up there.
Well, it's kind of an opiate.
It's kind of, I don't know.
What exactly is kratom?
And it's legal?
It's legal?
Yeah, it's legal.
Totally legal.
I had a guy that was on my podcast once that, he used to be an opiate addict.
And then he started taking kratom.
And they were selling it as pills.
And he said, well, if you take a small amount of it, it actually acts as like a
stimulant.
But if you take a larger amount of it, it's a different effect.
I said, how many do you take?
He says, I take 10.
I go, you take 10?
He goes, I take 10 before I work out.
I'm like, okay, I'll try it.
So I took 10.
And I was high as fuck.
It's a weird high.
Because it's like, I felt like, you know, I'm pretty aware of my body.
So I'm like, my motor skills feel perfect.
I don't feel like anything's wrong.
I feel like I could go do stuff.
Like, I'm not like, like drunk or anything like that.
I go, but I'm definitely affected.
So what is this?
Like, would this affect judgment?
Would this affect your reaction time?
Like, I shouldn't drive like this.
But pain tolerance down, that's probably good for working out.
I guess.
Is it though?
I did kind of used to like to smoke weed and work out.
I like smoking weed and work out.
I feel like I could do more.
Yeah.
Well, smoking weed and working out makes me feel like I know what my muscles
are doing.
Yeah, you like feel every focusing more.
Yeah, I feel the fibers and shit.
You know what it's really good for?
Technique.
Like when you learn martial arts technique, like there's certain things about
like kicking a bag in particular.
When I'm not, when I haven't smoked weed, I mean, I've been doing it my whole
life.
So I know how to do it.
But then if I smoke weed, I feel like where the little leverage points are.
I feel like where the torque comes in.
I feel like the, I feel the weight distribution.
It's like just, you're more sensitive.
Just more present in your body.
Yeah.
It makes you so much better at pool.
It makes my pool game like, yeah, like there's a term in pool like a ball.
Like say if we were playing nine ball and you were better than me, you would
give me the eight ball.
That means like it's a big advantage to have the eight ball.
That means I don't just win by winning, by making the nine ball.
I can make the nine ball or the eight ball.
So that's like, it gives you a ball.
That means, so like when I smoke pot, I'm one ball better.
Like legitimately.
I'm like 10% better easily, maybe more.
Is there any in pool like shade on taking Adderall or smoking weed or there's
no like no one cares?
Yeah, people talk shit about you, but they all do it.
Right.
Like pool players are notorious drug addicts.
They're fucking.
Like cocaine's probably great for pool.
There's, I've met more, I didn't even know drugs.
I didn't really understand drug culture.
When I started hanging around in pool halls because I had gone from being a
fighter to being a comedian.
So in fighting, there's no drinking, no partying, no nothing, all throughout
high school.
I was like, very rarely did I imbibe in anything.
I was all just about competition.
And then I started hanging out with comedians and the ones that were doing
drugs, like God, their life was falling apart.
These people.
And then I started hanging out in this pool hall and they were all doing drugs.
Everybody was doing something.
There was guys doing heroin.
There was guys that were crack addicts.
Like one of my best friends was a crack addict.
Have you seen this video where Boozy the rapper is endorsing crack over fentanyl?
Have you seen, dude, it's so.
Oh, it's a good point.
Crackheads live.
He's like, my crackhead friends I've known for 20 years.
He's like, they're around.
They can do anything.
They have powers.
Well, you know, crack is just cocaine.
It's just another way.
And you just cooked.
It's, yeah, it's freebasing cocaine.
And the scary thing is, even though we know that, it's one of the most racist
laws that's ever been enacted.
Where the difference between the sentencing for someone who gets caught with
crack versus someone who gets caught with an equivalent amount of cocaine, it's
like a giant disparity.
Can Deion Sanders say this too?
Oh, I don't know who that is.
That's, it's Boozy.
B-O-S-I.
I know, this is also.
You've ever been on a field with?
Oh.
No, my cousin, June Bull.
He was a crackhead and a good dude, though.
But he was very athletic because he was still stuck when I came home from
college.
Could never catch him.
Could never catch him.
And he was selling.
And I would have to go get it back at the hood from the drug dealers.
He was probably the most athletic, my cousin, June Bull.
But next to that, I think it was both.
Imagine there's some dude out there, Junebug the crackhead, that's more
athletic than a guy who's widely regarded as being one of the most athletic
humans that's ever lived.
And then, the boozy one is.
But Junebug's more athletic than Bo Jackson.
What the fuck?
Junebug, the Bert Kreischer of the hood.
There was this dude I used to talk, I've talked about him many times, but his
name was Water Dog.
That was his nickname, or they would call him Buffalo Bill.
And he was this pool player.
And he would do heroin.
So he would go into the bathroom and shut the door, and he'd be in there for 20
minutes.
And everybody knew what he was doing.
And then he'd go out and he'd sit on a bar stool like this.
With his hands in front of him like a bird.
T-Rex, yeah.
T-Rex, yeah, and just like this.
And he would sit there for like 20 minutes.
And then he would get down, and he had like gerbil eyes, the like black eyes,
and he couldn't miss.
He would play pool, he just wouldn't miss.
He just couldn't miss.
Like he knew how much time he needed for it to calibrate, and then when.
He could, he was so accurate.
It was stunning.
He had no nerves.
That's wild.
He didn't feel anything.
Because pool is gambling.
And gambling, like the reason why it's called pool, it's pocket billiards is
the name of the game.
But pool is pooling money together to gamble.
Ooh.
So like the real pool players, almost all of them gambled.
And takes away inhibition, so you're not.
He had no fear.
Yep.
He had no nerves.
He would just fire these balls into the hole.
And it's like really tight-pocketed table playing for like $10,000.
And I was like, this is nuts.
I wonder what it's like.
I've never done heroin.
Must be pretty awesome if people are trading their kids for it.
Yeah, I got morphine when I had my knee surgery once.
It was like, by the way, if you hear me, and I sound funny, ladies and
gentlemen, I just got out on a cold plunge.
I just got out.
So I'm like.
So if I sound like I'm on heroin, I'm just cold.
I don't want to do it.
What was I saying?
Doing heroin, it takes all your fears away.
The inhibitions, when you did methadone?
Oh, yes.
So, no, it was morphine.
What was it?
Sorry.
I wonder what that's like.
I wonder what methadone's like in comparison to hoe.
Isn't methadone basically Adderall?
Like, we've done Adderall.
I think it's like a kind of an opiate, but it doesn't get you high.
It just makes you stupid.
I don't know.
But, um.
We can go to San Francisco and get some.
I think you can just walk in now.
It's pretty easy.
You don't even have to have a prescription like that.
There's a drive-through now.
I had a knee surgery, and when I was in the hospital, they had me on a morphine
drip.
And apparently, this is in the 90s, I don't know if they'd still do this, but
you could hit a button.
And when you hit a button, you would get more morphine.
And it was wonderful.
It was wonderful.
Have we ever done fentanyl, like, at the doctor?
Like, if I've gotten a surgery, have I done fentanyl?
Or is that propofol?
Propofol.
Propofol is the stuff that puts you under.
Fentanyl is a prescription drug, though.
They give people fentanyl patches.
There's, like, there's prescription.
It's just so strong.
What is it, like, a hundred times stronger than heroin or something?
Do you want to see the boozy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's pretty funny.
It's so epic.
Play.
Play.
People, to stop taking fentanyl and go back to crack.
Crack.
I'm promoting it.
Fentanyl, killing all the junkies who've been junkies.
I'm talking, it's killing the junkies who've been junkies for forever.
Yes.
Soon as they hit it, they dig.
Right.
Crackhead, this nigga shoot threes.
This nigga shoot basketball.
This nigga run a hundred miles.
This nigga get sane.
This nigga fix your car motor.
Been doing this for 20 years.
This motherfucker still running around the neighborhood.
When have you ever heard crackheads hitting the pipe and dying the first time?
Never.
Never.
This fentanyl, all shit is different.
I would much rather crack.
I would much rather, much rather crack.
He's making logical sense.
I've been seeing my crackhead people for 30 years.
True.
This nigga hit fentanyl two times.
He's gone.
You never see him again.
Right.
I promote crack before fentanyl.
I'm sorry.
Right.
And you know something?
He's right.
But by the way, he's saying that and he looks fabulous.
He says they have power.
Anything, bro.
And they're still smoking crack and they're still together.
They can do anything, bro.
Crackhead, bro.
Whatever was in crack, they gave him a real power.
Did you ever see the video of the crackhead with the kangaroo?
No, I ain't seen it.
He goes, you ever seen the video of the crackhead with the kangaroo?
Covered in diamonds, designer sunglasses on, multicolored puma.
Crack was not killing people the same way.
He's right.
He's 100% right.
He's 100% right.
Yeah, my friend Johnny, he didn't die from crack.
My friend who was a crackhead, he died from heroin.
He wound up getting on pills.
He died from opiates.
I told you about what happened with, I had a raccoon in my yard.
You've always got, you've got Guatemalans trying to sneak over the fence.
You got, didn't you have like the fucking people casing your house?
The teams that were-
The Chilean mafia.
The Chilean mafia, that's right.
So the only people cleaning up homeless people now in LA are Scientology and
the Chilean mafia.
And the Chilean mafia basically takes homeless people, gives them a BMX bike,
gives them like, outfits them.
And yeah, I sent you the video of them casing my house because they were robbing
people in Brentwood and Santa Monica.
Causing all ki