Name: People Are Paying $300,000 For Space Flights
Uploaded: 2023-11-22T18:16:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'People Are Paying $300,000 For Space Flights' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'People Are Paying $300,000 For Space Flights' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-22. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- I just remember this guy's like rich.
I mean, he just hold like these fucking paintings
and just stand on the street like a homeless man.
And it's just fucking-
- Just want everybody to see his painting?
- Yeah, he's just nuts.
He's just fucking rich, crazy guy
with way too much time on his hands.
And when I saw that, I was like, bro, like,
once you reach a level of money,
like, you probably just do crazy shit
just for the fuck out, just because you can,
you know what I mean?
- Especially if all you do is make money.
Like, that's what those dominatrix ladies always say,
that their clients are always these guys
who are like these CEOs of mega corporations
and they just want to get pissed on and yell that slap.
- It's fucking nuts.
- Yeah, they want to get tied up and thrown in the corner.
Shut the fuck up.
And they come over and kick them in the balls.
They said that they want that.
- Bro, did you ever see that movie?
I mean, it's like, they made the movie about the movie,
The Room.
- Yeah.
- That was like Tommy Wiseau, or what's his name?
I don't remember his name.
I always mess it up.
But there's that scene in the movie
that made fun of the movie where like Joe Rogan's character,
like the director goes to the bank and he's like,
I want to cash this check.
And they're like, all right, yeah.
And he's like, holy shit, it worked.
And the bank teller's telling him, he's just like,
this guy's bank account, it's like a bottomless pit.
That amount of money has to be kind of scary though.
'Cause you either go make shitty movies with your money,
then you don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Like that guy, which is funny.
Or you probably also do scary shit.
Like that's a scary amount of money to have.
So I know people who like, you know, struggle financially.
Probably like, oh man, if I could just have this money,
if I could just have that money.
Like, yeah, life would be easier.
But if there's no challenge,
if there's no maze to run through,
what are you really gonna do with that much free time?
- I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
You're gonna get in a homemade submarine
and die in the ocean.
- You see what I'm saying?
- Yeah, those dudes.
That's exactly what that was like.
That was $250,000 a ticket to get in that submarine and die.
- Why? And the submarine had no windows, right?
- Well, it had like little small windows.
You don't really see, you're seeing things through a screen.
- They call me old school,
but I feel like if I spent $250,000 on the ticket,
I want like a luxurious experience.
I want to see the fucking ocean
not through a tiny little screen.
I want communication with the outside world.
Like, I don't know.
I do want to get rich, don't get me wrong.
I do want to get rich 'cause I feel like pretty soon.
You know.
- What are you gonna buy?
What kind of car are you gonna get?
- I mean, I'm not too worried about all that.
I really want to save money to like--
- Come on, man, you like painting.
Don't you want a dope car?
- I want to go to the moon.
- Oh, you're one of those dudes.
- Yeah, Elon Musk is probably gonna offer rides soon,
you know, $250,000 a ticket.
- I think you could already get into space
for that amount of cheddar.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I think you can get into space for like $250.
- I want to go to space.
- Like the Blue Origin?
Don't they fly people into space?
- Bro, you want to wait a few years.
I definitely want them to get the kinks out.
You know what I mean?
Work out the glitches and shit.
- You don't want to die in a fiery ball of hell.
- Yeah.
- Crashing into the ocean, burning alive.
- Nah, yeah.
Blue Origin.
For suborbital flights, Blue Origin typically charges
around $200,000 to $300,000 per person.
Cost includes a one hour flight
and a three hour preparation program.
For those looking to go into orbit,
Blue Origin's orbital launch services
range from $50,000,000 to $100,000,000 per person.
Yo.
- That's a big difference.
- That is a giant difference.
- All right.
- Suborbital, is that good?
- You go up for, I think they send you up
for about a minute or two
and then you just float back down.
- Hmm, how far do you go?
What's the height?
What's suborbital?
Suborbital means you're not going out technically
of the range where you need to go.
You're going very, very high.
That's like where they sent William Shatner to it.
- Is that where they send the guy,
remember the guy who sky dove from the outer layer?
- Oh, that wild motherfucker.
- For Red Boar or whatever?
- Yeah, that's my friend.
- Yeah?
- That's Andy Stump.
- Man.
- Yeah, he's a psychopath.
Was it Andy that did the--
- No, no, no.
- No, that's a different guy.
Andy did, but Andy did something similar.
He was on a fucking plane.
- They're suborbital right here.
- Okay, this is suborbital.
- So they're still floating?
- So they're above Earth.
- They actually get to look down.
They're weightless.
- Look at William Shatner.
He's like, "I'm too old for this shit."
- But you don't get way up there
where you're looking down on the ball.
- I don't even think that's fun right there
'cause are you even, it's like,
I feel like the Earth is so bright,
you can't even see the stars and shit.
- You definitely probably won't see a star there.
- No, you don't see the stars.
- That's not worth it.
I'm not doing that.
- But I think to see the stars,
you gotta go way the fuck up there.
- I don't, yeah, I don't know
that they're even seeing them in the spaceship.
- You gotta go way the fuck up there.
- I wanna go into like the abyss.
- You probably do when you're on the dark side,
don't you think, Jamie?
- Yeah, but how many, no one's been there for a long time.
- Right, but you go over there for a whiz, right?
You're like, it's real fast.
You're going like 17,000 miles an hour, right?
Isn't that the space station?
- Yeah, I honestly, I mean, we'd have to,
I could look, we have to look into this.
I think the only star you could probably see is the sun.
- Huh, well, when you're on the other side?
- This is changing my financial plans.
- I don't know, you gotta get a hundred million bucks, bro.
You gotta go way up.
- I wonder how much it costs for them to send me
to like a warm hole, a black hole.
- Well, you don't wanna do that.
- Nah, nah, nah, if I'm like.
- Imagine you come back and you're in the Mongol days.
You're like, motherfucker.
- What is the Mongol days?
- Like when Genghis Khan ruled the earth
and killed 10% of the population?
- That would suck.
It sucked to, I don't know.
I'd hope not even to come back though.
I'd just go somewhere else.
Maybe there's like another planet, another universe.
- Another dimension.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I don't know.
- Maybe.
- Remember when Bradley Cooper went through it
and then he came back and earth was like saved,
but they're like living in these like cylinder,
fourth dimension things or something like that.
Was it Interstellar, you see Interstellar?
- Oh, that wasn't Bradley Cooper.
That was Matthew McConaughey, right?
- Matthew McConaughey.
I always get his names mixed up.
- Yeah, he was confused.
- Yeah.
Bradley Cooper will get his chance too,
but yeah, Matthew McConaughey.
- Yeah, that was a great movie.
- Bro, even he got back in the ship.
It was like, nah, I'm out.
- So yeah.
- Okay, during spacewalks in earth's shadow,
astronauts can see stars once their eyes adjust to the darkness.
- Holy shit, your eyes have to adjust to the darkness of space.
- Right, but that's spacewalks in earth's shadow.
I don't think that's the same.
- They don't go behind the moon though.
- Space station habitable artificial satellite in low earth orbit that serves
the space environment.
- Okay.
- That trip I've told you about a few times that Steve Aoki is supposed to go
on.
It's supposed to be like one of the first man trips back around the moon.
- Steve Aoki, don't die on the moon.
- Bro, Steve Aoki.
- I've said this to him before.
Let me say it again.
Don't do it, buddy.
That guy is fucking badass.
- He's badass.
He's a cool dude too.
- You know a lot of cool people.
- He's very cool.
- But I don't think--
- On crew for first mission to the moon, Steve, you want to be on the 100th
mission.
But by the way, I think they did a hundred of those submarine dives before that
one exploded.
- Oh shit.
- I think they did a bunch of them.
- Damn.
- It wasn't like they were the first people.
They probably go, "Oh, you got the kinks worked out.
I'll try this bitch out."
- I've done it a hundred times.
What could go wrong?
- Shut up.
- Even car accidents happen every day.