Name: Jellyfish and Octopuses Are Like the Aliens of the Ocean
Uploaded: 2023-11-30T18:34:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jellyfish and Octopuses Are Like the Aliens of the Ocean' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jellyfish and Octopuses Are Like the Aliens of the Ocean' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-30. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience. The stuff in the sea? Very alien-like. Yeah. I agree.
You know, they did some study recently where they showed that jellyfish,
despite not having a brain, they seemed to be able to learn. Now they're trying
to figure out how they're learning. I know how they learn. How? Vibes. Vibes,
man. They feel the vibes. They feel the vibes. You don't have to have a brain
to feel the vibes. If we live in a vibrational universe where everything is
frequency, it would make sense. They feel the vibes.
They're vibing out down there. They just go with what the flow is. They're very
jelly-like. They just go with whatever the energy is doing already.
That's why it seems like they know. You guys seem like you came up with this
theory together and you discussed this before.
Well, I just thought of it right now and Sarah came on board with me and I feel
like we're onto something. Are we not onto something?
I think the vibes thing. I think we live in a vibrational universe and things
enter our experience based on the things that we think and the world that we
create.
I just think if the fish are flowing this way, the jelly is going to go this
way too.
And it seems like they know what they're doing, but they're just kind of going
with whatever is happening around them.
Also, some of them are poisonous as fuck.
Like the box jellyfish.
Which means they know they need to be poisonous.
Yeah.
Which means they're aware that there's danger.
They're sentient in some way.
Yeah, they have no brains, but they're aware.
Don't fuck with me.
I know a lot of people like that.
Yeah.
I know a lot of jellyfish.
Well, especially if you think about where box jellyfish live.
They're Australia, right?
Australia has great white sharks everywhere.
Australia has those little cute octopi that, is it octopus pie?
I think it's octopi.
Octopi that are the little blue ringed ones that look like you can pick them up,
but they'll kill you.
Oh, really?
They're like the most dangerous one in the world.
Octopussies.
Oh, that's a James Bond movie.
Octopussies.
The blue ringed octopus.
Yeah, it's like very cute and small.
And they have videos of that one.
That'll kill you?
Yeah, that'll kill you.
How come that guy has it on his hand?
It's like one of the most deadly octopus.
Wow.
It looks sick.
And people pick them up all the time because they're beautiful.
I want that in a jacket.
Yeah.
And so what does it have?
A stinger?
It bites, I think.
What is it doing?
If I remember correctly.
It has a toxin or some shit?
I think it bites.
It's nicknamed bro.
It says blue ringed octopus, nicknamed bro.
That makes sense.
It only attacks humans when it feels in danger.
If you're trying to corner a blue ringed octopus, it might become aggressive
and attack.
So it has two types of toxins for hunting, the other for self-defense.
A blue ringed octopus ejects tetrodoxin, a harmful toxin that could paralyze
and kill a human
adult in mere minutes.
It's 1,200 times more toxic than cyanide.
It's crazy.
That's wild.
Holy shit.
There's no known antidote.
Nope.
It's the same kind of toxin that puffer fish have.
It can kill 26 full adults with one bite.
Oh my God.
It's fentanyl.
Oh my God.
It can kill 26 full adults in one bite.
Yeah.
That is so crazy.
That is so insane.
It is insane, right?
And there's videos of people that pick it up.
They go viral because they don't know better.
So they're playing with it in the ocean and it's like, oh God.
And thank God.
I mean, I think that, I think they've also, they had a Netflix thing about how
octopi are
like really smart and they like have the average brain of like a five-year-old
child or something.
So maybe some of them are aware and don't want to kill people when they get
picked up.
Well, they figured out how to open up mason jars.
Oh yeah.
Whoa.
They can unlock doors.
They can, I think they said that they can memorize shit.
They can memorize shit and how it works.
They're smart.
Well, they figured this, they had this tank that was set up next to another
tank.
So one tank had octopus in it and the other tank across the room had fish in it
and fish
started missing.
And so they set up a camera and they found out what was going on was the
octopus was climbing
out of his tank, walking across the floor, climbing up into the other tank,
jacking a
fish, eating it, and then going back into his tank.
The comedian in me imagined it jacking off a fish and then eating it.
For some reason, for some reason, when I was imagining it, the octopus was
wearing sunglasses
in the whole story.
The Pink Panther song.
I mean, how insane is that?
The thing figured out that it could get out and walk in a place where it can't
breathe.
Well, they can fit through anything that their eyes can fit through.
That's great.
No matter how big they are.
Okay.
Also.
Don't quote me on that.
But how would it, how would it know that it could get out and climb?
I mean, what?
Joe, you want to hear the answer?
It's the vibes.
Vibes.
It just knows.
It just knows.
The same way, the same way the, the, everyone knows everything.
Vibes.
Vibes.
You felt it out one day.
Frequency.
You were like, this feels right.
Intuition.
How would two humans, the first two humans know to have sex?
They were just like, this feels like we should do that.
Right.
Well, but it was way before humans, right?
Animals.
How did the first living organism that was multicellular figure out how to mate?
A little, a little, a little, a little, an innate thing.
A little horny cell.
Right.
A little horny cell.
A little horny cell.
So what is this octopus doing?
Oh, big octopus versus small holes.
They keep, they keep giving it.
This is a porn hub.
This is a porn hub category.
This is Tentai.
I want you to get Hentai.
I'm sorry, guys.
Tentacle porn.
Is there a little pent up energy in this room?
What's happening?
Big octopus, small hole is disgusting.
So that little hole in the plexiglass, it's going to go through that little
hole.
Oh, yeah, and it could definitely fit because his eyeballs are like a fist.
It actually might, it did four other ones before I got to this video.
So this is the one that might stuck?
Yeah, I think it backs off.
It realizes it's stuck.
This is a fucking alien.
I'm sorry.
They are aliens.
How is that not an alien?
They really are aliens.
They're just aliens that live under the ocean.
Yeah.
And do you know the myth of the Kraken?
The Kraken was an enormous octopus that would take out ships.
No.
Yeah.
It was always like one of those ancient myths of a sea beast.
Yeah, they have paintings with like the octopus tentacles touching the ships
and stuff.
Well, one day.
Oh, shit.
One day they found tentacle imprints, the imprints of the suction cups that
were massive,
that would have indicated like an enormous octopus.
Oh, yeah.
They were definitely taking down ships.
So they think it was real.
Yeah.
They think at one point in time there really were massive octopuses.
They're smart enough to do it.
What is that fossil, the fossilized version of the Kraken?
So they found these fossils of the suction cups on the bottom of the ocean
floor.
And they were like, what?