Name: Joe & Stav Try to Solve a Mystery
Uploaded: 2023-12-05T18:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Stav Try to Solve a Mystery' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Stav Try to Solve a Mystery' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-05. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan experience.
- Yeah, when I first moved to New York,
I was 24 and I fucked a girl that was like 37.
- Oh shit.
- And that was awesome.
- That's a leap, son.
- That was, yeah, yeah.
I only got to fuck her once,
which is, you know you didn't do a great job.
But I did eat her pussy for a while, I got,
that was my first encounter with a squirter.
We fucked her at Kia. - Congratulations.
- Thanks, man.
- That's amazing.
- Thanks, man.
- Are you sure it's real?
- I mean.
- You sure she wasn't peeing all over you?
- It was clear.
- That's what I'm saying.
- How often do you pee and it's not clear?
- And it's not clear?
- Yeah.
- Quite a bit.
I'm not very hydrated.
- Okay, that's not good.
And you gotta think, you also gotta rash.
- It's not Amber, it's not like, you know.
- You gotta rationalize.
If someone has so much piss in them,
they piss while you're fucking them.
- Right.
- They're probably hydrated.
- That's true.
She didn't seem hydrated.
She was a hefty gal, she was, you know.
- She's probably very hydrated.
- You think so?
- I don't know.
- I don't know, she didn't seem hydrated.
- I don't know what it is.
- She drank a lot, you know?
- They do say it's real, but then they also say,
it's just pee.
- I feel like it's real.
I've thought about this a lot.
- It's sort of like Jesus.
If you believe in it, it can work for you.
- You make your own thing.
Faith is beautiful, Joe.
And I believe it's real, I believe it's another thing.
It doesn't taste like piss.
- How do you know what piss tastes like?
- Well, you could guess.
- Clear piss?
- I guess I haven't tasted it.
- Like really?
- I guess it doesn't smell like piss.
- Like from an elite ultra runner?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Just running with a water bladder on.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Sucking in all that water.
- All right, not bad.
It feels cool either way, even though, even if you,
as long as you, you're right, it's pure faith,
and I choose to believe it's not piss, you know?
- Jamie, what is it?
Has it definitively been addressed by science?
- I'm not a doctor.
- Wait a minute, you're not a doctor.
- Have you encountered squirters though, Jamie?
- Yeah, well, yes.
- But Jamie, I would like to Google,
I would like you to Google what is squirting,
and is it really just pee?
- I think you're gonna find a divided scholarship
on the matter.
- I think there's a lot of people that have a vested interest
in believing they were pissed on.
- Big piss, big squirt.
- Big piss money is throwing off the data.
Conclusions, the present data based on
ultrasonographic, bladder monitoring,
and biochemical analysis indicates
that squirting is essentially the involuntary emission
of urine during sexual activity,
although a marginal contribution
of prostatic secretions to the emitted flu
and often it exists.
So that's like pussy juice.
- Well, let's take a look.
How can they just say pussy juice?
- This says doctors theorize squirting
as a form of stress incontinence.
- Isn't it kind of interesting, though,
that we have, like, you couldn't say pussy juice?
- Yeah.
- Like, if you're publishing a scientific paper,
we must have another word for this term
that's acceptable for everyone to discuss
the exact same goddamn thing.
Whatever pro--
- Pussy juice.
- It's pussy juice.
- I mean, we should, in the, you know,
medical journals, it should say pussy juice.
- Well, this is what I understand.
How is there a picture of a geyser?
- If it's the same thing,
because that's some ladies.
- Yeah.
- But if it's the same thing,
if it's the same thing,
why is pussy juice offensive?
- Right.
- And why is that other long-ass word inoffensive
when they're literally just sounds you make
so I know what you're talking about?
- Yeah.
- That's all it is.
- No, I agree with you.
I mean, now we're talking about what is language.
- Right.
- You know what I mean?
It's like a different word.
- But specifically with certain things.
- Yes.
- Like, pussy juice.
- Pussy juice.
I think you'd have to go at least,
I think maybe vaginal juice.
- Right, if you were talking to a doctor
and the doctor was saying,
you got a problem with your pussy juice,
you're like, this doctor's trying to fuck me.
- You gotta get out of there.
- I gotta get out of here.
- Was he even wearing gloves?
- Why did he smell like cologne?
- He's like, oh yeah, your pH is fucked up.
Time for a little test?
He's talking about your pussy.
That's not good.
Nope.
- Yeah, I guess that's what it is.
- Yeah, your cunt's all fucked up.
Ah, yeah.
- You absolutely need someone to use words.
- You got what I like to call rusty cunt.
- Squirting is related to glands
in the urethral sponge,
which is embedded in the vaginal walls
along the sides of the urethra.
These glands, called Skeen's glands,
are part of the urination process.
Researchers have long debated
whether squirting liquid contains pee,
or if it's a unique substance.
In studies where researchers performed
a chemical analysis of squirting fluid,
they found chemicals that are also in urine.
But here's the thing.
I wanna know, but hold on a second.
Chemical analysis of squirting liquid.
Researchers performed a chemical analysis
of squirting liquid.
And how doth one acquire such squirting liquid?
- Hell yeah, dude.
- Scientific studies are you finger-banging ladies
until they squirt all over the place.
- They asked a man to pleasure five women to find out.
- Oh my God.
They asked a man to pleasure five women.
They paid a guy for science.
- That's gotta feel awesome to be that guy.
- What did he do?
Oh, it was in Japan.
- Oh.
- It's all coming full circle, baby.
- All roads lead to Japan.
- That makes sense.
- The land of the rising sun.
- Now I'm not shocked.
- Yeah.
- Now my, of course they did.
- Some guy just bowing.
- This guy probably came in with a briefcase.
Two of the women were in their 30s,
two in their 40s, and one was in her 50s.
- Hell yeah.
- And all of them said they had previously squirted
in past sexual encounters.
Let's fucking go.
- Let's do it.
- Unlike vaginal lubrication,
where a person's vagina secretes a white and milky fluid
when they're aroused,
squirting involves a clear and odorless fluid, a.k.a.
- Squirt.
- Pussy juice.
Squirting can happen before, during or after an orgasm
and has geyser-like quality.
- Yes.
- Sex educator Marla Renee Stewart
previously told Cosmopolitan,
imagine if you're a lady and you're a squirting expert.
- Right.
- That's a freak.
- Hell yeah.
You know she knows how to fucking do tricks with her pussy.
- Hell yeah, a freak.
- Okay, doctors examine the urine from each woman's bladder
during using a urethral catheter, excuse me.
They injected them with 50 milliliters
of blue dye saline solution.
In another room, women received manual penetration
from a male subject the doctor recruited.
- Recruited?
They're like, we need the finest finger popper in the land.
- The finest.
- And the shogunate.
- Kaizen.
I have been fingering in the mountains for decades.
- So yeah, some guy in the mountains just doing this.
- They instructed the man to use his fingers and penis.
- And penis.
- In a way to facilitate squirting.
- Let me just say, these gals sound cool.
- This guy banged them.
- That's awesome.
- Fingers and penis, this is crazy.
He banged them for the International Journal of Urology.
That is so insane.
- Scientific finger popping.
- So what does it find?
Each of the five women squirted the doctors
saw blue liquid come out of their genital areas
in videos that captured the experiment.
Their findings suggest the liquid women produce
when they squirt comes, at least in part, from the bladder.
- Okay.
They just wrote in their August 24 paper
published in the International Journal of Urology.
This is so wild.
- Okay.
- They paid a guy to fuck the piss out of these girls.
Like literally.
- What a job.
- He fucked the piss out of them.
- Mom, dad.
- He literally fucked the piss out of them.
- That's awesome.
And he was like, you thought I'd never amount to anything?
- That is wild.
- Okay, here's, okay, right here about this.
Okay, it has piss in it, right?
But they have something else in there too, right?
So whatever pussy juice they couldn't say.
- Yeah, whatever's on the walls of the vagina
as it comes squirting out like a geyser.
There's probably detectable amounts.
It's probably like steroids they find in supplements.
Like accidental steroids.
- You can find it, absolutely.
So here's what I posit.
Even if it starts as piss, water, you add Kool-Aid to it.
Kool-Aid powder, now it's Kool-Aid.
So the piss, you add special little concentrated
pussy juice in there.
- Okay.
- Now it's squirt.
I'm not buying a piss drinker.
- Maybe a couple of those.
- I'm not scared of piss.
But let's just be honest about what it is.
Like that wouldn't bother me if someone peed on me.
- Agree to disagree.
- It's not that big a deal.
- I wouldn't want, I guess if it was very clear piss,
I guess it was like the squirt I found.
- Look, if you're really into a girl
and you're having sex and she accidentally pees on you,
are you gonna stop?
- You know what?
I actually, no.
Well, have I busted yet?
- No.
- No.
- Let it go.
Let it go.
- It's fucking body fluid.
- I will say, actually, maybe,
I have encountered some tough squirt.
- Now that I'm thinking about it.
- Tough squirt?
That should be the name of your next special.
- Tough squirt.
- Tough squirt?
Oh my God, dude.
- I have, now that we're thinking about it,
it probably, and she was not hydrated.
- Oh no.
- And it was like, you know when you crack open crabs
and it has that little yellow shit in there.
- Yes.
- That was left on the fucking sheets.
- No.
- Yeah.
And it was so frank, I couldn't get hard afterwards.
I hate her pussy.
And then I, I got like, oh.
And my, I literally, my thinking.
- Oh my God.
- Oh man.
- Oh my God.
- And she even was like,
damn, I need to drink more water.
- Did she blast on you?
- Yeah, dude.
- In the mouth, everywhere?
- Very much so.
- Oh my God.
I'm just picturing this.
The amount of urine depends on when the person peed last
and how hydrated they are.
- All right, all right.
- New York University sex researcher,
Zana Wranglova told MindBodyGreen.
- That sounds like, that's a hot name too.
- I bet she's hot too.
- She sounds like the evil lady
we were talking about earlier.
- Perfect features, talking about piss.
- Angular big ass tits.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, all right.
- How wild is that Japanese study though?
But that's the kind of science you can get away with.
- Maybe I need to go back to school.
- If you're living in a country that's more open-minded.
- Yeah, but then again, they fucking blur out the genitals.
That's the fucking trade-off.
- I know, that's what's wild, but I'll take both.
- Yeah.
- The other thing is like, the weird thing is like,
that this guy, how did he get that job?
Did he have to audition?
Like how did he know he wasn't gonna fall apart?
- It says he was recruited.
- Right, but how did he know he was gonna get hard?
- Someone was sent out to recruit.
- Maybe one of the doctors was a freak.
- Yeah, they found this dude.
- You gotta find the best, they were told.
- That sounds also like the plot.
This study probably was recorded and put out with blurred genitals.
This sounds like the plot of a Japanese pornography.
- This story could be a comedy movie if we had a time machine.
- Yeah, yeah.
- All the squirt.
- No, if we could bring it back to like 1994,
when you could make a movie like this and not go to jail.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And not get canceled.
Like if we tried to make this movie today,
the outrage would be off the charts.
- The squirt doctor?
You think we couldn't make the squirt doctor?
- No chance.
- I don't know.
- This guy, you're gonna have him finger banging these women
and fuck the shit out of them, all five of them.
And they're hiring this guy to come in and sling dick.
- It would probably have to be a lesbian thing.
- And you find out that these women are just pissing all over them.
- I don't know.
- And all their dreams are shattered
'cause they thought they were squirters.
They were the rare hot squirter.
- Right.
- But meanwhile they're just peeing on guys.
And now these guys are leaking that to the world.
It gets on the internet and everybody knows
that you're just peeing on folks.
You're just peeing on folks.
- What if the guy was hot and it's for women?
- I'm sure he's hot.
- I'm sure he's probably hot.
They wouldn't force the women to...
I mean, if they forced the women
to have sex with some gross guy.
- I made a nice discovery just now.
- What?
- I found a video of the test.
- No!
- Put it up.
- The actual test?
- Let's go, put it up.
- I love learning, dude, I love science.
- Put it up there.
- Whoa!
- No!
This can't be the fucking actual test.
- This is it.
- Let me see this.
- I don't know if there's a sound or not.
- Well, the audience can't see this, right?
- No.
- What the fuck is this?
- Yo!
- What am I looking at?
- That's his fingers and her pussy from the back.
- This is the collection cup.
- Those are ass cheeks.
- And this is the blue liquid.
See, there's blue liquid everywhere.
- Yo, that's him fucking...
Oh, you can see her tits.
- There's blue liquid coming out.
- Oh my god.
- First of all, that has not been my experience.
It's dribbling out.
- Look at them.
There's someone else under there catching it.
- That's what's crazy.
- That's sick, dude.
- And look at those untamed Asian bushes.
- That's, yeah.
- So this is a threesome.
- Or is that, it looks like the other guy.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh my god.
- Now that, now we're talking.
That's what I, that's, oh.
- Oh my god, look at her go.
- What the fuck?
- And look, they're collecting it.
- The fucking nerds.
- There's someone that collect.
He's figuring out collecting it.
- This girl's got it trimmed, though.
- Oh my god, this is so wild.
- You can tell it's not porn, though,
'cause it's not blurred.
- You're right, this is fucking--
- Right, it's science.
- Science.
- I'm not hard at all, honestly.
- They should do that for all porn from Japan.
- Just making science experiments.
- The music's nice touch.
- Yeah, the music's relaxing.
- They do not need to have music.
- This is insane.
- Dude, this man is going after it.
Can we see his penis?
- I think we get it.
- I don't think they'll let you see his penis.
- Oh, wow, that's--
- I mean, she's basically pissing out blue Kool-Aid.
Look at that, that is so crazy.
She's peeing, she's just peeing.
- But the one girl, the one was squirting.
You see that geyser, that fucking pop?
- She was peeing.
- I don't know, man.
That's what girls do if they were peeing.
If they had to pee and just laid on their back and peed,
it would just squirt up in the air.
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
- Yeah, of course I'm right.
Jesus Christ, what are you talking about?
- I wanna believe, Joe.
- I know you do, I know you do, it's fascinating.
- I wanna believe, brother.
- I'm just really obsessed with this fucking Japanese--
- The guy.
- Department of Urology that did this.
That's what's fascinating.
- I wanna know about the guy.
- They got this run up the flagpole.
- You should get the guy in here.
- Maybe, but those fucking doctors,
they ran up the flagpole to like, who?
And they were like, yeah, let's go, let's go, have a--
- We got a little extra money in the fucking--
That feels like they're gonna be under budget
unless they have one more study.
And they let one guy be like,
what if we checked out a squirt is piss?
Beautiful idea.
- I wonder how much money they spent
to check out a squirt is piss.
Jamie, will you send me that article?
This needs further investigation.
- I'm still investigating this right now.
- Five--
- Will you please just text me that article?
- Yes.
So there's five women, there's one guy,
he only fucks them once, is it an afternoon?
- Who knows, he's probably banging 'em for months.
- Yeah, do you think they kept in touch afterwards?
- They have money, they probably put together
a whole series of bangs.
- Wow.
You can't just count on one,
it's like you're filming a special.
- That's true.
- You wanna have a few shows.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I also like, they recruited him,
but they had to recruit good squirters too.
Reliable squirters.
- Reliable, girls had squirted multiple times.
But some women pee if they laugh.
- True.
- I mean, that's kind of probably similar.
The involuntary reaction of--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 'Cause do they squirt when they're orgasming,
or they just squirt in the middle of intercourse?
- No, no, orgasm.
- Holding?
- Yeah.
- Is that what they tell you?
- I've, listen, like I said,
I've been very upfront with having
disgusting squirt in my mouth.
Why would I start lying now, Joe?
I've established my bona fides.
- Oh my God, good point.
- Thank you.
- Very good point.
- So you've never encountered, or you have?
- No, I've never encountered it.
- Wow.
- Interesting.
- Yeah.
Well, it wasn't a thing when I was a kid, man.
You think it's learned behavior?
- I think it came about because of porn.
- Interesting.
- I mean, I'm sure, let me be clear.
I'm sure it was happening before porn.
- Yeah.
- But it was never like a thing that was discussed.
- Right.

Joe & Stav Try to Solve a Mystery

- The Joe Rogan experience.
- Yeah, when I first moved to New York,
I was 24 and I fucked a girl that was like 37.
- Oh shit.
- And that was awesome.
- That's a leap, son.
- That was, yeah, yeah.
I only got to fuck her once,
which is, you know you didn't do a great job.
But I did eat her pussy for a while, I got,
that was my first encounter with a squirter.
We fucked her at Kia. - Congratulations.
- Thanks, man.
- That's amazing.
- Thanks, man.
- Are you sure it's real?
- I mean.
- You sure she wasn't peeing all over you?
- It was clear.
- That's what I'm saying.
- How often do you pee and it's not clear?
- And it's not clear?
- Yeah.
- Quite a bit.
I'm not very hydrated.
- Okay, that's not good.
And you gotta think, you also gotta rash.
- It's not Amber, it's not like, you know.
- You gotta rationalize.
If someone has so much piss in them,
they piss while you're fucking them.
- Right.
- They're probably hydrated.
- That's true.
She didn't seem hydrated.
She was a hefty gal, she was, you know.
- She's probably very hydrated.
- You think so?
- I don't know.
- I don't know, she didn't seem hydrated.
- I don't know what it is.
- She drank a lot, you know?
- They do say it's real, but then they also say,
it's just pee.
- I feel like it's real.
I've thought about this a lot.
- It's sort of like Jesus.
If you believe in it, it can work for you.
- You make your own thing.
Faith is beautiful, Joe.
And I believe it's real, I believe it's another thing.
It doesn't taste like piss.
- How do you know what piss tastes like?
- Well, you could guess.
- Clear piss?
- I guess I haven't tasted it.
- Like really?
- I guess it doesn't smell like piss.
- Like from an elite ultra runner?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Just running with a water bladder on.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Sucking in all that water.
- All right, not bad.
It feels cool either way, even though, even if you,
as long as you, you're right, it's pure faith,
and I choose to believe it's not piss, you know?
- Jamie, what is it?
Has it definitively been addressed by science?
- I'm not a doctor.
- Wait a minute, you're not a doctor.
- Have you encountered squirters though, Jamie?
- Yeah, well, yes.
- But Jamie, I would like to Google,
I would like you to Google what is squirting,
and is it really just pee?
- I think you're gonna find a divided scholarship
on the matter.
- I think there's a lot of people that have a vested interest
in believing they were pissed on.
- Big piss, big squirt.
- Big piss money is throwing off the data.
Conclusions, the present data based on
ultrasonographic, bladder monitoring,
and biochemical analysis indicates
that squirting is essentially the involuntary emission
of urine during sexual activity,
although a marginal contribution
of prostatic secretions to the emitted flu
and often it exists.
So that's like pussy juice.
- Well, let's take a look.
How can they just say pussy juice?
- This says doctors theorize squirting
as a form of stress incontinence.
- Isn't it kind of interesting, though,
that we have, like, you couldn't say pussy juice?
- Yeah.
- Like, if you're publishing a scientific paper,
we must have another word for this term
that's acceptable for everyone to discuss
the exact same goddamn thing.
Whatever pro--
- Pussy juice.
- It's pussy juice.
- I mean, we should, in the, you know,
medical journals, it should say pussy juice.
- Well, this is what I understand.
How is there a picture of a geyser?
- If it's the same thing,
because that's some ladies.
- Yeah.
- But if it's the same thing,
if it's the same thing,
why is pussy juice offensive?
- Right.
- And why is that other long-ass word inoffensive
when they're literally just sounds you make
so I know what you're talking about?
- Yeah.
- That's all it is.
- No, I agree with you.
I mean, now we're talking about what is language.
- Right.
- You know what I mean?
It's like a different word.
- But specifically with certain things.
- Yes.
- Like, pussy juice.
- Pussy juice.
I think you'd have to go at least,
I think maybe vaginal juice.
- Right, if you were talking to a doctor
and the doctor was saying,
you got a problem with your pussy juice,
you're like, this doctor's trying to fuck me.
- You gotta get out of there.
- I gotta get out of here.
- Was he even wearing gloves?
- Why did he smell like cologne?
- He's like, oh yeah, your pH is fucked up.
Time for a little test?
He's talking about your pussy.
That's not good.
Nope.
- Yeah, I guess that's what it is.
- Yeah, your cunt's all fucked up.
Ah, yeah.
- You absolutely need someone to use words.
- You got what I like to call rusty cunt.
- Squirting is related to glands
in the urethral sponge,
which is embedded in the vaginal walls
along the sides of the urethra.
These glands, called Skeen's glands,
are part of the urination process.
Researchers have long debated
whether squirting liquid contains pee,
or if it's a unique substance.
In studies where researchers performed
a chemical analysis of squirting fluid,
they found chemicals that are also in urine.
But here's the thing.
I wanna know, but hold on a second.
Chemical analysis of squirting liquid.
Researchers performed a chemical analysis
of squirting liquid.
And how doth one acquire such squirting liquid?
- Hell yeah, dude.
- Scientific studies are you finger-banging ladies
until they squirt all over the place.
- They asked a man to pleasure five women to find out.
- Oh my God.
They asked a man to pleasure five women.
They paid a guy for science.
- That's gotta feel awesome to be that guy.
- What did he do?
Oh, it was in Japan.
- Oh.
- It's all coming full circle, baby.
- All roads lead to Japan.
- That makes sense.
- The land of the rising sun.
- Now I'm not shocked.
- Yeah.
- Now my, of course they did.
- Some guy just bowing.
- This guy probably came in with a briefcase.
Two of the women were in their 30s,
two in their 40s, and one was in her 50s.
- Hell yeah.
- And all of them said they had previously squirted
in past sexual encounters.
Let's fucking go.
- Let's do it.
- Unlike vaginal lubrication,
where a person's vagina secretes a white and milky fluid
when they're aroused,
squirting involves a clear and odorless fluid, a.k.a.
- Squirt.
- Pussy juice.
Squirting can happen before, during or after an orgasm
and has geyser-like quality.
- Yes.
- Sex educator Marla Renee Stewart
previously told Cosmopolitan,
imagine if you're a lady and you're a squirting expert.
- Right.
- That's a freak.
- Hell yeah.
You know she knows how to fucking do tricks with her pussy.
- Hell yeah, a freak.
- Okay, doctors examine the urine from each woman's bladder
during using a urethral catheter, excuse me.
They injected them with 50 milliliters
of blue dye saline solution.
In another room, women received manual penetration
from a male subject the doctor recruited.
- Recruited?
They're like, we need the finest finger popper in the land.
- The finest.
- And the shogunate.
- Kaizen.
I have been fingering in the mountains for decades.
- So yeah, some guy in the mountains just doing this.
- They instructed the man to use his fingers and penis.
- And penis.
- In a way to facilitate squirting.
- Let me just say, these gals sound cool.
- This guy banged them.
- That's awesome.
- Fingers and penis, this is crazy.
He banged them for the International Journal of Urology.
That is so insane.
- Scientific finger popping.
- So what does it find?
Each of the five women squirted the doctors
saw blue liquid come out of their genital areas
in videos that captured the experiment.
Their findings suggest the liquid women produce
when they squirt comes, at least in part, from the bladder.
- Okay.
They just wrote in their August 24 paper
published in the International Journal of Urology.
This is so wild.
- Okay.
- They paid a guy to fuck the piss out of these girls.
Like literally.
- What a job.
- He fucked the piss out of them.
- Mom, dad.
- He literally fucked the piss out of them.
- That's awesome.
And he was like, you thought I'd never amount to anything?
- That is wild.
- Okay, here's, okay, right here about this.
Okay, it has piss in it, right?
But they have something else in there too, right?
So whatever pussy juice they couldn't say.
- Yeah, whatever's on the walls of the vagina
as it comes squirting out like a geyser.
There's probably detectable amounts.
It's probably like steroids they find in supplements.
Like accidental steroids.
- You can find it, absolutely.
So here's what I posit.
Even if it starts as piss, water, you add Kool-Aid to it.
Kool-Aid powder, now it's Kool-Aid.
So the piss, you add special little concentrated
pussy juice in there.
- Okay.
- Now it's squirt.
I'm not buying a piss drinker.
- Maybe a couple of those.
- I'm not scared of piss.
But let's just be honest about what it is.
Like that wouldn't bother me if someone peed on me.
- Agree to disagree.
- It's not that big a deal.
- I wouldn't want, I guess if it was very clear piss,
I guess it was like the squirt I found.
- Look, if you're really into a girl
and you're having sex and she accidentally pees on you,
are you gonna stop?
- You know what?
I actually, no.
Well, have I busted yet?
- No.
- No.
- Let it go.
Let it go.
- It's fucking body fluid.
- I will say, actually, maybe,
I have encountered some tough squirt.
- Now that I'm thinking about it.
- Tough squirt?
That should be the name of your next special.
- Tough squirt.
- Tough squirt?
Oh my God, dude.
- I have, now that we're thinking about it,
it probably, and she was not hydrated.
- Oh no.
- And it was like, you know when you crack open crabs
and it has that little yellow shit in there.
- Yes.
- That was left on the fucking sheets.
- No.
- Yeah.
And it was so frank, I couldn't get hard afterwards.
I hate her pussy.
And then I, I got like, oh.
And my, I literally, my thinking.
- Oh my God.
- Oh man.
- Oh my God.
- And she even was like,
damn, I need to drink more water.
- Did she blast on you?
- Yeah, dude.
- In the mouth, everywhere?
- Very much so.
- Oh my God.
I'm just picturing this.
The amount of urine depends on when the person peed last
and how hydrated they are.
- All right, all right.
- New York University sex researcher,
Zana Wranglova told MindBodyGreen.
- That sounds like, that's a hot name too.
- I bet she's hot too.
- She sounds like the evil lady
we were talking about earlier.
- Perfect features, talking about piss.
- Angular big ass tits.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, all right.
- How wild is that Japanese study though?
But that's the kind of science you can get away with.
- Maybe I need to go back to school.
- If you're living in a country that's more open-minded.
- Yeah, but then again, they fucking blur out the genitals.
That's the fucking trade-off.
- I know, that's what's wild, but I'll take both.
- Yeah.
- The other thing is like, the weird thing is like,
that this guy, how did he get that job?
Did he have to audition?
Like how did he know he wasn't gonna fall apart?
- It says he was recruited.
- Right, but how did he know he was gonna get hard?
- Someone was sent out to recruit.
- Maybe one of the doctors was a freak.
- Yeah, they found this dude.
- You gotta find the best, they were told.
- That sounds also like the plot.
This study probably was recorded and put out with blurred genitals.
This sounds like the plot of a Japanese pornography.
- This story could be a comedy movie if we had a time machine.
- Yeah, yeah.
- All the squirt.
- No, if we could bring it back to like 1994,
when you could make a movie like this and not go to jail.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And not get canceled.
Like if we tried to make this movie today,
the outrage would be off the charts.
- The squirt doctor?
You think we couldn't make the squirt doctor?
- No chance.
- I don't know.
- This guy, you're gonna have him finger banging these women
and fuck the shit out of them, all five of them.
And they're hiring this guy to come in and sling dick.
- It would probably have to be a lesbian thing.
- And you find out that these women are just pissing all over them.
- I don't know.
- 