Name: JRE MMA Show #150 with Daniel Cormier
Uploaded: 2023-12-06T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #150 with Daniel Cormier' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #150 with Daniel Cormier' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-06. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #150 with Daniel Cormier

I got a friend named Zach Esposito, and he used to do that. We would get done
with practice,
and every technique had to be perfect. Even getting undressed and then backdressed.
This
dude would sometimes get undressed three times. He would get dressed. Maybe he'd
put something
on in the wrong order. I don't know what he would do, but then he would take it
off. He
would do it again. He would take it off, and then if he was drilling, every
move. It's
like, I don't know what that disease is called. Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
That. It was
with everything, though, and he became a NCAA champion. Doesn't it make sense,
though, that
those kind of things, if you could channel them into something positive, like
if you're
a maniac, and you could, like, say if you're like a compulsive gambler, you can't
stop
gambling. You just got to get out there and play bets. You got to play, there's
guys like
that. If they could channel that same energy into something else, like jiu-jitsu.
Could
you imagine, like, an athlete that's like that? Michael Jordan. I'm sure he's
like that. For
as compulsive of a gambler as he is, that was his approach to basketball. So
nobody could
be greater. Same thing. Same thing. Exact same thing. It's just one of them is
dangerous.
One of them will fuck up your life, and one of them will make you the goat.
Will make
you the goat, but the other side of it is, it don't turn off. And that's the
fucked up
part. That's the fucked up part. It doesn't turn off. Having that as a thing,
and then
the competitiveness never turns off. Right. It drives you crazy. Well, that's
why Tyson didn't
work out for years. Yep. You know, Mike did my podcast twice, and the first
time he did
it. Mike was, like, heavier. He was smoking weed all the time. He was so chill.
It's like,
wow. It's like, Mike Tyson is, like, such a sweet guy. And then Mike Tyson
signed up for
the Roy Jones fight. Yep. And the next time he came in, he was 225. Yeah, yeah.
Forearms
were jacked. And he was intense. Yeah. And I made a decision to make the table
wider on my
podcast studio, because I was so nervous being that close to him. Really? Yeah.
I was like,
I gotta, I gotta have a little, just to separate, like, from really intense
people so I can
collect my thoughts. Yeah. He tapped back into that thing. Yes. Right. He had
suppressed
it. When you saw him, he was friendly, and he was nice, and he was smoking. Bro,
he was
still friendly. He was still cool as fuck. But this was the real Mike Tyson.
But you, that
was, but that was the guy. That's the guy. Because he tapped back into that
monster. He
found it. We, because you know, you, oh, you gotta have the monster. Have to.
In order
to be a world champion in any type of combat sport, you have to have that
monster. Yeah.
A legit monster inside of you that doesn't really live in the real world. Right.
Because
in the real world, he doesn't work. Right. In the real world, if you can't put
that monster
away at times, Right. You don't work in, in, in life. You, you're in trouble
all the time.
You're in trouble all the time. Yeah. Yeah. But that same monster, if you can
control that
motherfucker, then you're Mike Tyson. You're Mike Tyson. But then that's why
like, he would
see him skirt the line, right? Yeah. When he's talking to the reporter, that
reporter, that,
that is still one of the craziest things I've ever witnessed. When he was on
the stage, and
the reporter said something, and Mike started talking about, if we were in jail,
I would do
this. Oh, that's right. Oh my God. I'd fuck you till you love me. I'd fuck you
till you
love me. Joe. I mean, what? What? Oh my God. But imagine that guy. Yeah. In
that state trying
to operate in the world with normal people like us. Right. Doesn't work. It
doesn't work.
He's in jail. Right. Crazy. It's crazy because the thing that made him great
could also run
away like a wildfire and burn everything around him. And everybody. Yeah. And,
and when you're
the man and he was the man, then there's no restraints anymore, which is even
crazier because
now you, you crash your Rolls Royce. You just give it to the cops. Remember
that? Yeah. No
matter what he did. Take my car. I don't even want it. No matter what he did,
take the car.
I'm fine. They hide everything. You know, honestly, here it is right there.
That's it. He was
like, I'm like your daddy. Let me hear this, Jamie. Give me some volume. Go, go
from the beginning.
He's like breathing heavy.
I mean, you're not man enough. I eat your asshole alive, you bitch. Fuck you,
you hoe. Come
and say to my face, fuck you, you ass for everybody. You bitch. Come on, you
bitch. You're scared,
coward. You got man enough to fuck with me. You can't last two minutes in my
world, bitch.
Look at you scared now, you hoe. Scared like a little white pussy. Scared of
the real man.
I'll fuck you till you love me, faggot.
Jeez. What do you say to someone?
Matt, who is that guy? Yeah. Who's that guy? Who's the reporter?
That's what I'm saying. Like, but what did that reporter have to say to get
that?
Well, he said something that you should be in a straight jacket.
Yeah. Wasn't this the one where Mike bit Lennox?
He bit Evander. He bit Evander.
Bit Evander's ear. Didn't somebody get bit?
That was when he was about to fight Lennox Lewis, I believe.
Wasn't there like a brawl before this?
There was a brawl. Did someone get bit or am I imagining that?
I don't remember him getting bit. I remember him biting Evander's ear and they
got into a bit of a fight.
That was crazy. That was crazy.
Were you there?
No, no. I watched it on TV.
Oh, I was about to say. That was crazy.
That was crazy.
He bit a chunk of his ear off.
He couldn't beat him.
Yeah.
He couldn't beat him.
Yeah.
He was in a situation where he wasn't the man because he was so used to being
the biggest, baddest mug in there.
And in a situation where he wasn't, he goes, I have to go primal.
It's all you know.
Wow.
You bite a motherfucker.
He bit that motherfucker.
Can you, and Evander Holyfield has somehow forgiven him.
Evander's amazing.
Dude, he's the, I love Evander Holyfield.
How good was he?
He was the best, bro.
How good was he?
How, what a warrior.
He was the best.
What a warrior.
And those Tyson fights, because he had to endure.
Yeah, he did.
You know, I mean, Tyson put it on him and he endured.
All of them.
Remember those Riddick Bowe fights?
That's the one.
Oh my God.
The Riddick Bowe fights.
Now we got to think like the Tyson fights after the Riddick Bowe fights.
Yes.
Which is even kind of crazy.
Riddick Bowe was good.
Riddick Bowe was good.
Those guys were good.
Riddick Bowe.
Those guys were good.
Evander Holyfield.
He bit his leg.
Oh, he did bite his leg.
Tyson was forced to pay Lewis around $360,000 for biting his leg.
And the bra almost saw the mega fight canceled altogether.
Yeah, he bit his leg.
But that's the thing, right?
Like he had to, he had to do something.
Anytime he was threatened.
Yeah.
You know, it's like, it's like when you're in the wild, right?
I watch a whole bunch of shit.
It's called like, one is Nature is Metal.
Oh yeah, I love that page.
That's a sick page, bro.
Nature is Metal.
It's the craziest shit.
It's the craziest.
Nature is so metal.
It is, dude.
Some of the shit you see on that page is nuts.
But you'll see a bear and it'll just walk around and it just fucks everybody up.
But then when there's a bear that's as big as it, it starts to question and it
might cower down.
But in this situation, Mike Tyson's not going to cower down to Lennox Lewis.
So he bites him.
Right?
He bites him.
He probably fell down.
I'm going to tell you one thing.
And I'll tell you this right now.
When I was in that press fight with Jon Jones, I was still undefeated at the
time.
And we were at the MGM Grand and he head butted me, like put his head on me.
So I push him.
He's an alpha male too.
So the fucker attacks me.
Right.
So we get to fighting.
Oh boy.
So we get to fighting.
Right.
And we're fighting.
And Joe, the security guard from the UFC, falls under me.
But now I'm on my back as we go flying off of the stage.
I will say that was a good thought to bite the motherfucker.
Because like, what am I doing on my back?
Right?
I'm losing.
You would have bit the son of a bitch.
I ain't got no mouthpiece in my mouth.
And if I would have bit him, that would have been like a reaction for a guy
that usually
will walk around in most places around this world as the alpha.
And then when he finds himself on the bottom as the alpha, he's got to find a
way to survive.
So that's what Mike Tyson would do.
He would go as primal as he could think.
How do I survive?
It was always survival with this guy.
Wow.
And if I would have bit him, you'd have been like, DC bit him,
but it's not the first time we saw somebody bite a motherfucker down there.
Because Mike Tyson did it three times.
It's like, you're so, it's so unfamiliar.
I told my kids the other day at wrestling practice, Joe, I said,
my whole life, I feared getting pinned so much that I don't even sleep on my
back to this day.
Because I don't want those fuckers laying on their back in the wrestling room.
I said, I fell asleep on my back one day and woke up in a full panic attack.
Jones had me on my back, man.
That shit's unfamiliar.
So if I would have did some crazy shit, that's just what would have happened.
That's what would have happened.
Because you don't go to your back.
Right?
That's hilarious that you can't sleep on your back.
You can sleep on your back?
Nah, I snore too loud when I sleep on my back.
I cannot sleep on my back.
I just like, I really have kind of trained myself to where I'm like, I'm
getting pinned.
I don't let the kids in my wrestling room.
That's so wild.
I don't let my kids, like, when I'm talking, and if they, like, lay back, get
off your back.
If they're stretching, I'm like, don't stay on your back too long.
Wow.
I try to trick them in their mind that their back is literally the most, the
worst place in the world.
And so, and that's what my coach did to me.
Everything I did, get off your back, get off your back.
Then he would lock me on my fucking back.
He would get dudes lined up in high school and college and an arm triangle,
which is the worst.
You can't breathe.
It's a headlock in wrestling, right?
You obviously don't go chest down.
You're trying to pin him.
He would put me on my back in those situations with my fresh partners, and I
would have to get off my back not to get pinned.
So I just never got pinned in my whole career.
I wrestled from 10 to 30, and I might have got pinned like three or four times
in all those years,
because I was just so afraid of going to my, I just never got pinned.
Wow.
And I'm trying to implement that into my kids.
It makes sense.
Yeah.
It totally makes sense if you make it the utmost priority.
Yeah.
Because you've talked about this before that you see sometimes when guys get
tired, they accept positions too easy.
And when they go to the back, they don't immediately scramble.
They don't immediately try to get an angle or an underhook or something.
You'll see them accept the position.
Yeah.
And then it's too late.
Yeah, it's too late.
Yeah.
When we, when you're fighting or in those situations, you got to address it now
or you're done.
So when we're doing commentary and we're talking about the fight and somebody
gets taken down and a guy starts to get into the positions where I get quiet
because you're better there.
And you start walking through the submissions, how it's getting set up.
And I'm like, oh, this dude's done.
The guy on top is waiting.
He's taking too long to address what's happening.
And then next thing you go, oh my God, triangle.
Right?
Because it's not just when the legs go up.
You're like, this dude's starting to, he's starting to set up a triangle.
And I'm like, he is, right?
He's waiting.
You got to always be in motion.
You got to always be kind of thinking about the next step.
Are you screwed?
If you start accepting, you're