Name: Derek, MPMD Gives His Thoughts on USADA and Conor McGregor
Uploaded: 2023-12-07T18:56:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Derek, MPMD Gives His Thoughts on USADA and Conor McGregor' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Derek, MPMD Gives His Thoughts on USADA and Conor McGregor' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-07. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- What do you think about USADA getting replaced?
- I don't know exactly what the new protocol is gonna be,
but I have heard that they're not gonna let them
take PPC-157, and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
- So they're adhering to like,
the WADA banned substance list, presumably.
- Allegedly, but it could be, you know,
like a little wink, a little nod, I don't know.
I don't know how they're gonna do it,
and only time will tell.
I think this current administration's contract with USADA
is still applicable for the next few months.
- Yeah, yeah, I think USADA standard protocols
in place until January 1.
- Is that what it is?
- Yeah.
- It's gonna be interesting, and you know,
that's why I'm gonna turn to you to say like,
what do you think's going on here?
- Yeah, I guess it depends how they document
the positive test results too, 'cause it's like,
back in the day, depending on the organization,
sometimes they'll publish exactly what the person popped for,
what happened, what, you know, scrutiny is happening
to them in the moment, how it's being further reviewed,
and it was like, you know, very negative press
even before they've actually confirmed
and proved this guy cheated, necessarily.
- Right.
- And then USADA kinda took this different angle
where they would kinda be a little bit more vague about it,
and then they would get some scrutiny
about if they're covering up for certain people,
but at the same time they were like, you know,
all getting scrutiny for being hyper stringent,
where they'd like show up to guys' places
in the middle of the fuckin' night
when they're trying to sleep.
- Yeah.
- And it's a very, as far as the new organization,
their level of scrutiny and how it's gonna play out,
and how, I don't know, private they're gonna keep the results,
it's to be determined, but if they're following the same,
WADA banned substance lists with the same kind of protocols,
I imagine it's gonna be similar, but with,
from what I understand, more scrutinous testing
on some of the endogenous bioidenticals,
so like EPO, I think Novitski said
they're gonna up their frequency of testing.
- Hmm.
- 'Cause, you know, some of this stuff,
at the end of the day, there's only so much budget
to allocate to where it's still a viable economic thing,
so it's like, are you gonna EPO test
like every fuckin' sample of every single athlete,
however many times a year?
Like, some people are tested, like, I don't know,
I forgot what URI was tested, it was like,
some insane amount of times per year.
Are you gonna EPO test, HGH isoform test them,
you know, carbon isotope ratio test,
are you gonna do that on every sample he's ever produced?
- Right.
- Probably not, so you gotta have some reproducible,
economically viable strategy, but.
- I think they tested URI a lot
because he was in recovery from shoulder surgery too.
- Yeah, but then it's like, why isn't guys like,
you know, Connor getting tested out the ass?
- Because he got out of the pool.
- Yeah, but even when he went back in the pool, it's like.
- Well, now he's testing.
- How frequently, though?
- Well, I don't know, they just started testing him,
really recently.
- Guy's face definitely still looks a bit saucy.
- Well, he was jacked.
And also, that's when you should do it.
- Oh, for sure.
- When you have something like catastrophic leg injury,
I mean, he's got rods in his legs,
he's had multiple surgeries, it's not just one.
You know, I, and then, you know,
it doesn't always heal right.
And it breaks again, like Dan Hooker.
He has a rod in his arm.
He broke his forearm in a fight.
I think it was the Jalen Turner fight.
And so, he had it fixed, had rods put in it,
he just broke it again.
So now he has to have a second surgery.
He has to have, they're doing some new procedure
to try to get the bones to fuse,
'cause the bones didn't fuse correctly.
And, you know, the rods were the only thing holding it in place
and it snapped.
- It's really weird how they justify certain compounds
that can be used in and out of testing,
'cause it's like, you could abuse the fucking of amphetamines
out of competition, but then, you can't use BPC.
Like, how does that make any sense?
- It doesn't make any sense.
- It's all bizarre.
And I think in a perfect world,
professional athletes would utilize everything possible
to get the best possible performance.
Again, my only concern would be young people
ruining their endocrine system.
- Yeah.
- And then the possible mitigation, you know,
there's real issues with overuse, like overdosing.
'Cause if you tell someone, hey, if you take, you know,
a hundred milligrams of this thing,
you'll have an improved performance.
Okay, what's gonna give me a stroke?
If I take 200 milligrams, what happens?
Do I move twice as fast?
Like, what happens?
- Yeah, and some of the weight cutting
will get even more extreme with diuretic use and--
- Right.
- Yeah, some of it, you'll have a lot, like,
kidney failures, pre-competitions.
- Right, and then the question is gonna be like,
what kind of testing protocol are they gonna use?
Is it going to be random?
You know, is it gonna be something you can game?
Like, you know, I know, who was the athlete
that was taking those testosterone gummies
and they were in and out of your system
in a short period of time?
- Alex Rodriguez.
- There you go.
He was taking a bunch of different shit,
but they were taking testosterone gummies
that, you know, would only stay in your system
for a few hours.
- As of now, and I stay pretty on top of the literature,
it's still very, you can still circumvent the tests,
even with highest scrutiny.
So, you know, with things like tests, EPO,
I've seen upwards of 50% of subjects and studies
getting around tests trying to find if they're doping.
Like, knowing that they're using guys in the study
as subjects of, you're getting micro-dosed EPO,
and we're gonna test you for it rigorously,
and still passing, even when they're trying to catch them
- Yeah.
- Via the study parameters.
So, I think a lot of people are gonna be doing
the same shit they've been doing.
I think the scrutiny is gonna be similar, probably,
but perhaps more, like, at least Nowitzki's framing it,
like, there's more budget being allocated
to some of the more rigorous tests,
but I don't know.
- I imagine it'll be similar,
but I've also heard that this organization
also works with the NBA and some other pro sports,
which are traditionally seen as pretty lax in contrast.
- Yeah.
- So.
- I would imagine it's gonna be a little more lax,
and I would support that.
- Yeah.
- I certainly support guys taking things
to recover from injuries,
like Connor did with his leg injury, 100%.
- Yeah. - No question about it.
I'm 100% all in on that.
That's the only way.
No one comes back from that.
No one has ever come back from that catastrophic leg break.
- Yeah.
- The shin break, not a single athlete's come back from it
and performed at the same level.
- Yeah.
- Anderson Silva's the only guy who came back
and fought multiple times,
and he was not the same guy.
- Yeah, yeah, it's a, I don't know.
Like, Connor's definitely gotta,
gotta win when he fucking comes back.
- Yeah.
- Like, it's kinda like his legacy is,
like, not entirely hinged on it or anything,
but I mean, it's, he's got a lot to live up to
to not just.
- Oh, yeah.
But also, if you were a coach and you wanted to look at this
in terms of a long-term career strategy,
I would want a tune-up fight.
- Yeah. - 100%.
I would not want him going right in there
against Islam Makachev.
- Yeah, he's still trying to go, like, balls deep
and pick the hardest dudes.
- Well, that's him.
That's why he's a champion.
That's why he's a warrior.
I mean, he feels like he could just get,
but one of the things that he said about the Dustin Poirier fight,
the first one, the second fight, but the first one of the most recent ones,
where he got knocked out.
He said, "I was inactive."
He goes, "It just, it caught up to me.
I could feel it.
I could feel it while he was in there.
My timing wasn't as good."
You need to be active to be at the highest levels
of world-class mixed martial arts competition.
I just don't see how you can take two years off,
multiple surgeries, get on juice, get off juice,
and then jump in there against the best in the world.
Maybe he can do it, but if I was his coach
and the option was available,
I'd say, "Let's get someone who's not even in the top 15.
Let's get some guy who is beatable, but a good test.
We'll call it a tune-up fight.
We get to see how you perform.
This guy gets an opportunity to beat Conor McGregor.
You get an opportunity to test your skills again
and feel the lights and feel the pressure,
get your timing back, have that fight.
Six months later, you have a big fight.
Do you know when UFC 300 would be?
That seems like a pretty big event that they would probably...
When is that supposed to be, Jamie?
April, I think.
April.
Is that too soon for him to be fighting?
Well, there's a six-month thing in the pool, right?
So here we are in November.
Contingent on USADA, though.
Yeah, and contingent on whether...
Right, right.
If USADA's out, maybe they don't have a six-month thing anymore.
Right.
Good point.
I wonder if he's...
Obviously, that's an event you would think he'd be in.
I would think...
You would definitely want him in that event.
Yeah.
But then the thing is, like...
Here's a good question.
If you give someone an exemption, you let them take...
Get out of the pool.
Hmm.
And they're taking some hardcore steroids to heal their shin break.
What...
How much gain do you maintain from that improvement in your performance?
Because it's not zero.
No, it's a...
I think a lot of it is also indirect through the time in the gym and skill
acquisition, because a lot of people overlook the recovery capacity enhancing
component.
So, it's like if you're able to...
It's not just about how much muscle you've gained and objective measurements of,
oh, your bench press went up by X amount.
It's also, how many more hours were you able to train relative to your
competition because of this?
Right.
And that's that many more hours working on X skill, this skill, that...
Right.
Your endurance, whatever, you're able to do more things and have more bandwidth
allocated to your, you know, skill, I don't know, sustaining or, you know,
development.
So, as far as the studies go for retention of what's called myonuclei, like how
much you can actually bank up from steroid use, it doesn't seem to be something
that's going to sustain for, I don't know, in perpetuity, like we once thought.
It's kind of finicky if that's actually something that happens or not, like a
lot of people will still shrink back down when they come off, but...
He's competing pretty soon after being like what appeared to be pretty fucking
full board, like the guy was essentially unrecognizable compared to traditional,
you know, Connor.
Yeah.
He looked like a light heavyweight.
Yeah.
It was like, to me, his face looked like the first time a guy takes gear.
It's like, oh, wow, you've gained like 15 pounds of water.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everything got big.
So, yeah, like it didn't even look like it was an attempt to do it in a, you
know, I'm trying to micro dose way.
It's like a real cycle, seemingly.
Right.
So, and why not if you're not being tested and you can, so...
And it's probably fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get it.
Yeah.
For sure.
But the question is like, when it comes to performance, like physical ability,
strength, power, speed, you don't go back to zero.
So...
No.
I think you would retain some of it.
Like how much of it?
That would be so speculative.
So, I think...
Let's speculate.
Like, let's say a guy takes one cycle of testosterone at like a traditional
amount that guys use, like 500 milligrams is a pretty common like bodybuilder
starting level cycle.
Is that per week?
Yeah.
500 milligrams per week.
Okay.
So, that's like, you know, three to three and a half times what a traditional
TRT dose would be.
That would gain you, you know, a significant amount of lean mass and strength
and you would probably sustain that for...
Again, as the hormones work its way out of your system, even as they're residually
leaving, you still have that bleed of hormone that's sustaining even during
your training.
Subjecting yourself to, you know, even if you had poor sleep, heavy weight
cutting.
Like you still have synthetic drug that is bleeding out of your system and
holding at least non-fluctuating values other than the bleed out time.
So...
The size difference.
Yeah, it's wild.
Look at him in 2022, he's fucking massive.
The face difference is like the most staggering to me too.
Look at his neck.
Also weight cut, I don't know how much that difference is.
Yes.
Dude, that shot with him on the bottom left?
Yeah.
With his arm around the dude?
Yeah.
He looked...
Oh, they cut off his quads, but his quads looked fucking nutty in that picture.
Yeah, the one where it shows him at the bottom of those three photographs,
Jamie, that is when he made weight for 145 though.
Oh, Skeletor bro.
Yeah, he was literally starving himself.
That's wild.
He was starving himself.
He looks like one of those like pirates of the Caribbean.
Yeah, monsters.
Yeah.
That's what he looked like back then.
So yeah, I think that, you know, within the span of competing within a year,
like you're going to retain, it would take depending on how fast the compound
would work its way to your system depends on the ester chosen.
Like I'm sure you're familiar with your testosterone is probably a testosterone
cipionate, for example.
So that like determines how long it will hold, take to metabolize out of your
body.
So that one has close to a 10 day half life.
So that would take 50 days essentially to clear out of your system.
So for him, if you cleared out something that took 50 days to get out, like you
would still have residual benefit for months thereafter, for sure.
And whether it's going to be 100% or 0%, you know, I would speculate to be
somewhere in the middle, you know, maybe you're going to lose a lot of the
temporary weight fairly rapidly, though, like a lot of that blood volume, water
retention will dissipate within the first number of weeks.
And then after that, you're kind of whatever tissue you've accumulated, it will
slowly go over the next months, which you'd probably retain, I don't know, I
would say half by the time he maybe 25 to 50%.
But that's, you know.
Thank you.

Derek, MPMD Gives His Thoughts on USADA and Conor McGregor

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- What do you think about USADA getting replaced?
- I don't know exactly what the new protocol is gonna be,
but I have heard that they're not gonna let them
take PPC-157, and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
- So they're adhering to like,
the WADA banned substance list, presumably.
- Allegedly, but it could be, you know,
like a little wink, a little nod, I don't know.
I don't know how they're gonna do it,
and only time will tell.
I think this current administration's contract with USADA
is still applicable for the next few months.
- Yeah, yeah, I think USADA standard protocols
in place until January 1.
- Is that what it is?
- Yeah.
- It's gonna be interesting, and you know,
that's why I'm gonna turn to you to say like,
what do you think's going on here?
- Yeah, I guess it depends how they document
the positive test results too, 'cause it's like,
back in the day, depending on the organization,
sometimes they'll publish exactly what the person popped for,
what happened, what, you know, scrutiny is happening
to them in the moment, how it's being further reviewed,
and it was like, you know, very negative press
even before they've actually confirmed
and proved this guy cheated, necessarily.
- Right.
- And then USADA kinda took this different angle
where they would kinda be a little bit more vague about it,
and then they would get some scrutiny
about if they're covering up for certain people,
but at the same time they were like, you know,
all getting scrutiny for being hyper stringent,
where they'd like show up to guys' places
in the middle of the fuckin' night
when they're trying to sleep.
- Yeah.
- And it's a very, as far as the new organization,
their level of scrutiny and how it's gonna play out,
and how, I don't know, private they're gonna keep the results,
it's to be determined, but if they're following the same,
WADA banned substance lists with the same kind of protocols,
I imagine it's gonna be similar, but with,
from what I understand, more scrutinous testing
on some of the endogenous bioidenticals,
so like EPO, I think Novitski said
they're gonna up their frequency of testing.
- Hmm.
- 'Cause, you know, some of this stuff,
at the end of the day, there's only so much budget
to allocate to where it's still a viable economic thing,
so it's like, are you gonna EPO test
like every fuckin' sample of every single athlete,
however many times a year?
Like, some people are tested, like, I don't know,
I forgot what URI was tested, it was like,
some insane amount of times per year.
Are you gonna EPO test, HGH isoform test them,
you know, carbon isotope ratio test,
are you gonna do that on every sample he's ever produced?
- Right.
- Probably not, so you gotta have some reproducible,
economically viable strategy, but.
- I think they tested URI a lot
because he was in recovery from shoulder surgery too.
- Yeah, but then it's like, why isn't guys like,
you know, Connor getting tested out the ass?
- Because he got out of the pool.
- Yeah, but even when he went back in the pool, it's like.
- Well, now he's testing.
- How frequently, though?
- Well, I don't know, they just started testing him,
really recently.
- Guy's face definitely still looks a bit saucy.
- Well, he was jacked.
And also, that's when you should do it.
- Oh, for sure.
- When you have something like catastrophic leg injury,
I mean, he's got rods in his legs,
he's had multiple surgeries, it's not just one.
You know, I, and then, you know,
it doesn't always heal right.
And it breaks again, like Dan Hooker.
He has a rod in his arm.
He broke his forearm in a fight.
I think it was the Jalen Turner fight.
And so, he had it fixed, had rods put in it,
he just broke it again.
So now he has to have a second surgery.
He has to have, they're doing some new procedure
to try to get the bones to fuse,
'cause the bones didn't fuse correctly.
And, you know, the rods were the only thing holding it in place
and it snapped.
- It's really weird how they justify certain compounds
that can be used in and out of testing,
'cause it's like, you could abuse the fucking of amphetamines
out of competition, but then, you can't use BPC.
Like, how does that make any sense?
- It doesn't make any sense.
- It's all bizarre.
And I think in a perfect world,
professional athletes would utilize everything possible
to get the best possible performance.
Again, my only concern would be young people
ruining their endocrine system.
- Yeah.
- And then the possible mitigation, you know,
there's real issues with overuse, like overdosing.
'Cause if you tell someone, hey, if you take, you know,
a hundred milligrams of this thing,
you'll have an improved performance.
Okay, what's gonna give me a stroke?
If I take 200 milligrams, what happens?
Do I move twice as fast?
Like, what happens?
- Yeah, and some of the weight cutting
will get even more extreme with diuretic use and--
- Right.
- Yeah, some of it, you'll have a lot, like,
kidney failures, pre-competitions.
- Right, and then the question is gonna be like,
what kind of testing protocol are they gonna use?
Is it going to be random?
You know, is it gonna be something you can game?
Like, you know, I know, who was the athlete
that was taking those testosterone gummies
and they were in and out of your system
in a short period of time?
- Alex Rodriguez.
- There you go.
He was taking a bunch of different shit,
but they were taking testosterone gummies
that, you know, would only stay in your system
for a few hours.
- As of now, and I stay pretty on top of the literature,
it's still very, you can still circumvent the tests,
even with highest scrutiny.
So, you know, with things like tests, EPO,
I've seen upwards of 50% of subjects and studies
getting around tests trying to find if they're doping.
Like, knowing that they're using guys in the study
as subjects of, you're getting micro-dosed EPO,
and we're gonna test you for it rigorously,
and still passing, even when they're trying to catch them
- Yeah.
- Via the study parameters.
So, I think a lot of people are gonna be doing
the same shit they've been doing.
I think the scrutiny is gonna be similar, probably,
but perhaps more, like, at least Nowitzki's framing it,
like, there's more budget being allocated
to some of the more rigorous tests,
but I don't know.
- I imagine it'll be similar,
but I've also heard that this organization
also works with the NBA and some other pro sports,
which are traditionally seen as pretty lax in contrast.
- Yeah.
- So.
- I would imagine it's gonna be a little more lax,
and I would support that.
- Yeah.
- I certainly support guys taking things
to recover from injuries,
like Connor did with his leg injury, 100%.
- Yeah. - No question about it.
I'm 100% all in on that.
That's the only way.
No one comes back from that.
No one has ever come back from that catastrophic leg break.
- Yeah.
- The shin break, not a single athlete's come back from it
and performed at the same level.
- Yeah.
- Anderson Silva's the only guy who came back
and fought multiple times,
and he was not the same guy.
- Yeah, yeah, it's a, I don't know.
Like, Connor's definitely gotta,
gotta win when he fucking comes back.
- Yeah.
- Like, it's kinda like his legacy is,
like, not entirely hinged on it or anything,
but I mean, it's, he's got a lot to live up to
to not just.
- Oh, yeah.
But also, if you were a coach and you wanted to look at this
in terms of a long-term career strategy,
I would want a tune-up fight.
- Yeah. - 100%.
I would not want him going right in there
against Islam Makachev.
- Yeah, he's still trying to go, like, balls deep
and pick the hardest dudes.
- Well, that's him.
That's why he's a champion.
That's why he's a warrior.
I mean, he feels like he could just get,
but one of the things that he said about the Dustin Poirier fight,
the first one, the second fight, but the first one of the most recent ones,
where he got knocked out.
He said, "I was inactive."
He goes, "It just, it caught up to me.
I could feel it.
I could feel it while he was in there.
My timing wasn't as good."
You need to be active to be at the highest levels
of world-class mixed martial arts competition.
I just don't see how you can take two years off,
multiple surgeries, get on juice, get off juice,
and then jump in there against the best in the world.
Maybe he can do it, but if I was his coach
and the option was available,
I'd say, "Let's get someone who's not even in the top 15.
Let's get some guy who is beatable, but a good test.
We'll call it a tune-up fight.
We get to see how you perform.
This guy gets an opportunity to beat Conor McGregor.
You get an opportunity to test your skills again
and feel the lights and feel the pressure,
get your timing back, have that fight.
Six months later, you have a big fight.
Do you know when UFC 300 would be?
That seems like a pretty big event that they would probably...
When is that supposed to be, Jamie?
April, I think.
April.
Is that too soon for him to be fighting?
Well, there's a six-month thing in the pool, right?
So here we are in November.
Contingent on USADA, though.
Yeah, and contingent on whether...
Right, right.
If USADA's out, maybe they don't have a six-month thing anymore.
Right.
Good point.
I wonder if he's...
Obviously, that's an event you would think he'd be in.
I would think...
You would definitely want him in that event.
Yeah.
But then the thing is, like...
Here's a good question.
If you give someone an exemption, you let them take...
Get out of the pool.
Hmm.
And they're taking some hardcore steroids to heal their shin break.
What...
How much gain do you maintain from that improvement in your performance?
Because it's not zero.
No, it's a...
I think a lot of it is also indirect through the time in the gym and skill
acquisition, because a lot of people overlook the recovery capacity enhancing
component.
So, it's like if you're able to...
It's not just about how much muscle you've gained and objective measurements of,
oh, your bench press went up by X amount.
It's also, how many more hours were you able to train relative to your
competition because of this?
Right.
And that's that many more hours working on X skill, this skill, that...
Right.
Your endurance, whatever, you're able to do more things and have more bandwidth
allocated to your, you know, skill, I don't know, sustaining or, you know,
development.
So, as far as the studies go for retention of what's called myonuclei, like how
much you can actually bank up from steroid use, it doesn't seem to be something
that's going to sustain for, I don't know, in perpetuity, like we once thought.
It's kind of finicky if that's actually something that happens or not, like a
lot of people will still shrink back down when they come off, but...
He's competing pretty soon after being like what appeared to be pretty fucking
full board, like the guy was essentially unrecognizable compared to traditional,
you know, Connor.
Yeah.
He looked like a light heavyweight.
Yeah.
It was like, to me, his face looked like the first time a guy takes gear.
It's like, oh, wow, you've gained like 15 pounds of water.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everything got big.
So, yeah, like it didn't even look like it was an attempt to do it in a, you
know, I'm trying to micro dose way.
It's like a real cycle, seemingly.
Right.
So, and why not if you're not being tested and you can, so...
And it's probably fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get it.
Yeah.
For sure.
But the question is like, when it comes to performance, like physical ability,
strength, power, speed, you don't go back to zero.
So...
No.
I think you would retain some of it.
Like how much of it?
That would be so speculative.
So, I think...
Let's speculate.
Like, let's say a guy takes one cycle of testosterone at like a traditional
amount that guys use, like 500 milligrams is a pretty common like bodybuilder
starting level cycle.
Is that per week?
Yeah.
500 milligrams per week.
Okay.
So, that's like, you know, three to three and a half times what a traditiona