Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz
Uploaded: 2024-01-20T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-20. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2089 - Joey Diaz

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
I didn't bring no motherfucking glasses, though.
Oh, do you need some?
Yeah.
I have some.
Just in case, if you're going to show me something interesting.
Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
So I started doing this red light bed.
I started doing two things to help my eyes.
One, I started taking pure encapsulations.
They have this, what is it called?
Macro support.
What is it called?
Anyway, it's a bunch of supplements that they put together to stop your
eyesight from going bad.
And it's legit.
Macular support.
Macular support.
That's it.
You like it?
Oh, legit.
It stopped whatever the deterioration that I was experiencing, where my
eyesight was starting to go, it stopped.
Just stopped it.
And it made it a little bit better.
And then I started doing this red light bed.
So I had this guy, Gary Breck on the podcast, who's explained to me how red
light revitalizes your capillaries and helps your vision come back.
And so I've been doing that now for about six weeks.
And I've noticed an improvement.
Like, I don't need reading glasses as much if I'm reading things on my phone.
I can read some things that I just was not going to be able to read.
And more importantly, it's not getting worse.
Because, like, it was, like, kind of every six months, eight months or so, I'd
notice, like, God, my eyes are worse.
Like, this is terrible.
Like, after, like, 46, it seemed like.
Somewhere around 46, it was like it dropped off a cliff.
And you did the right thing because you didn't submit to these.
My mistake was to submit to these when I was, like, 43, 44.
By 44, I could see I was having problems already.
And I submitted to these.
And this is worse for you.
That's why I used to tell you, don't put the glasses on.
Hold on.
Make your eyes muscle that thing.
It's like when you wear fucking hearing aids.
Like, your hearing gets lost.
Well, they say with vision, like, the problem is we're looking at things that
are real close up all the time.
And your eyes are supposed to do a bunch of different things.
They're supposed to look at stuff in the distance.
You're supposed to look at things up close.
And if you don't look at things in the distance all the time, you lose that
ability.
Well, I'm going to be as honest as I can with you.
I'm not trying to be cute here.
Okay.
I lost my eyesight when I stopped doing coke.
Because when I was doing coke, my eyesight was on point, Jack.
I could see a light from fucking two miles away.
That light's green.
We got to make it.
Once I stopped doing coke, my eyesight went right into the fucking shitter.
So when I was snorting, I had 20-20 vision.
I could see coke rocks on the carpet and shit.
Now I can't see shit if there's a coke rock on the fucking floor.
So I guess it's blood flow.
If you think about it, blood flow to the brain.
I mean, doesn't coke give you, like, a crazy amount of blood flow to your brain?
I mean, it must.
It's a stimulant, right?
I have no idea.
I have no idea where the blood goes.
Joey, thank God I never got into that.
No.
Thank God I never got into that.
And especially now.
Like, now I see these people that are snorting anything.
Yeah.
To snort anything today, you got to be fucking crazy.
Yeah, you could die.
Heroin.
These people who put the fucking test.
Like, if you go to a bar in New York, they have tests.
Yeah.
Then you go in the bathroom and they're like, are you fucking kidding me?
They have to if you don't want to die.
Once you test cocaine, it's time to do something different.
If you got to test your coke, it's time to do something different.
You got to fucking...
You know what's going on out here?
Ketamine.
Everybody's doing ketamine.
They do nasal sprays.
We had some lady go into a K-hole in the middle of our comedy show.
She's fucking falling down like this.
And they brought in the Narcan and shit.
They were worried that she had overdosed.
And her wife was like, no, no, no.
She's just been doing ketamine.
She just did too much.
So I did a couple of lines of that one time at the podcast studio.
Yeah.
And it was okay.
I did the podcast.
But whoever gave me the ketamine left, like, a pile of it on the desk.
You know, after we did a couple of lines.
So he left and me and Lee were talking.
And I go, Lee, what are we going to do with this fucking thing?
And he goes, I don't know.
Throw it away.
I go, fuck that.
It was about 8, 30, 9 o'clock at night.
I had done three lines, maybe.
And I was buzzed.
But it didn't take me over the top.
I did those.
Now, I lived six minutes from the podcast studio in LA.
When I got to the first light to make the left, I knew it was not going to be a
good drive home.
It was not going to be a good drive home, okay?
I had done too much.
And then I got home.
And when I put my foot out of the car, that was it.
It was lights out after that.
And I'm like, I am fucked up.
What do you mean, like, lights out?
Like, what way?
Like, I was fucked up.
I don't know what was going on.
It's a different kind of fucked up, right?
It's a different type of fucked up.
And then I went in the house and, god damn it, my wife is awake.
Oh, no.
Now, I got to talk to her.
So, I ran in my office.
I'm in there 15 minutes getting higher and higher.
Oh, no.
And shit, my body's feeling weird.
And I go, I better go out there before she comes in here.
Right.
And she was watching True Crimes.
Detective, whatever, on HBO.
Oh, okay.
And it was the dude from The Green Book and the other guy.
The Green Book.
The brother, the guy who won the, he was in the book, The Green Book,
with the guy who drove him in the South.
He played the piano player.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
So, you know I saw The Green Book?
I don't think I saw The Green Book.
That's a good fucking movie.
Oh, we were talking about him yesterday, Marshal Ali.
Yeah, yeah.
That guy's awesome, man.
He's awesome.
He was great in that Netflix documentary, or the Netflix show we were just
talking about,
about the end of the world with Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke.
Oh, I didn't see that.
It was good.
Fucking Giannis hated it, though, huh?
Yeah.
He's trying to get me to hate it.
I kind of went with him a little bit, right?
He influenced me.
I was like, yeah, there were some parts I didn't like.
Yeah, you didn't like the animals.
The CG animals.
Getting picky.
Yeah, a bunch of CGI animals staring at people.
I'm like, come on.
No.
You don't need to do this to me.
No.
No, but I looked at him, and while I was watching TV, his head kept getting
bigger.
Boo!
And I'm like, I couldn't take it.
I'm sitting there.
I got no T-shirt on.
I'm sweating profusiously.
She's kind of looking at me.
I'm kind of looking at her.
Your wife is a fucking angel.
And finally-
She really is.
To deal with you.
I couldn't take it no more.
I couldn't take it no more.
And I go, what the hell's going on here?
And she's like, what?
What?
I'll change it.
She didn't know.
I told her the next morning.
I said, let me tell you something.
When I came last night, I was not doing too good.
You know, people think that you fuck around.
Like, when I was living in L.A., people think, like, you fuck around and you
don't have no-
Everybody always thinks, like, I just got high and had no fucking consequences.
I just never told you about what I dealt with.
You know?
One night, I ate mushrooms.
And I went home, and the fucking mushrooms hit.
I didn't know.
I ate, like, three little fucking things at the office.
The mushrooms hit.
And that's the day The Exorcist came on.
And I had to watch it.
And I'm like, what the?
And I finally ran into the room and put the blankets over my head.
It was too fucking real.
Like, I have horrible high stories.
I just don't repeat them because, you know, people won't believe them.
I remember when we were on a plane once, and you were eating stars of death.
And we were, like, almost at New York.
And it was, like, an hour before the plane landed.
Joe Rogan, I almost fucking lost it.
I almost fucking lost it.
I was having a pan attack.
It was getting bad.
It was getting bad.
And then you go, but I'm back.
And then you pop two more.
I'm like, how did you just fucking do that?
You just had a panic attack almost.
You know, for three years I cried about this anxiety, anxiety, I can't take it.
Yeah.
Fucking, I don't do edibles now.
Is that what it is?
Monday nights.
So it was edibles that was giving you the anxiety?
You said it yourself.
You said it yourself.
You can't live on a 2,000 milligrams a goddamn day.
Something's got to fall apart eventually.
Yeah.
You know, that was kicking it up.
And then...
I would get, anytime I would get above 200 milligrams, the whole world was just,
like, very slippery.
Very slippery.
I was like, this is, like, I could see how edibles can get someone to
legitimately lose their mind.
That's why when I was talking to Alex Berenson, he wrote that book, Tell Your
Children.
It's all about schizophrenia and about how there are people that get introduced
to high doses of marijuana and it induces schizophrenia.
We know people.
We both know a couple of people that have had that happen to.
I'm like, this is real.
I think marijuana is very beneficial in low to moderate doses.
When you get above certain doses with certain psychologies, certain people,
certain times of their life, you know, certain things they're going through.
You never know.
You could fucking crack.
You never know.
You could...
And I can tell you that.
That's the truth.
Yeah.
That's the truth.
Because at times, you know...
It gets...
Marijuana at the high doses is not what people think it is.
It gets to that very psychedelic place where it's like, this might as well be
acid.
Like, the real high doses...
There's some time where Eddie Bravo had these THC pills.
One of his students had made his own pills.
Had, like, turned Keefe into pills.
I forget how many we took.
But I was talking to this one dude and, like, I might as well have been in
another dimension.
Like, my relationship to reality was very slippery.
I was like, if I was losing my mind right now, if I wasn't in a good place in
my life, my, you know, life is falling apart.
Maybe you're, you know, getting fired.
Your house is repossessed.
Going through a divorce.
Maybe you have cancer.
Who knows?
Whatever it is.
And then you get that dose.
It could send you over the top.
Bro, I had a guy come over from Jiu-Jitsu one day.
We're just hanging out.
And he goes, I want to do a bong hit with you.
I gave him two bong hits of what I smoked.
He puked in my yard.
He was like, I don't know how you do this every day.
Two fucking bong.
Let me get a light of pop.
Yeah.
Well, it's also like when someone runs marathons.
You try to run a marathon.
I don't know how you run a marathon.
Well, you fucking, you got to build up to it.
You're building up to that, too.
It's all building up, you know?
This new weed that's coming out now, these people aren't ready for it.
It's too strong.
And more people are smoking pot now than ever before.
Whether it's vapor pens, everybody's doing something.
Is that, like, because it's legal, right?
I wonder what the numbers are.
Because it's legal in, what is it now, Jamie?
19 states?
I feel like we're close to 20 and 20.
It's 23, maybe.
A shitload of states.
It's decriminalized in the city of Austin.
But it's legal in a lot of states like New Jersey, New York, California,
recreational use.
Nevada, Colorado, Oregon.
There's, I would imagine there's more people smoking it now just because of
that.
Because it's legal, right?
Dog, you got to come home from work.
Instead of getting beer or whatever the fuck you get,
you go in, you get one of these joints for 25 bucks.
And this will last the regular person the whole weekend.
And it doesn't kill your body.
It doesn't kill you.
It doesn't kill your body.
That's the big one.
For me, like, when I was doing jiu-jitsu every day,
if I was getting high and doing jiu-jitsu,
it actually made my jiu-jitsu better.
Lik