Name: Buried in Snow: Crazy Stories of Near Death Experiences
Uploaded: 2024-01-26T18:13:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Buried in Snow: Crazy Stories of Near Death Experiences' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Buried in Snow: Crazy Stories of Near Death Experiences' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-26. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- I've had multiple ocean scares now.
Like, the ones where you're like--
- Crying on the beach?
- Well, no, just that like, in the moment,
I keep telling myself, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.
You know, and one I remember was in Hawaii,
where we rented a Jeep, and we were like,
we wanna go see something, you know?
So they tell you, oh, take this road,
and it takes you to this single road
that goes up where there used to be volcanoes,
and we come up on this beach,
and they had mentioned the beach,
but not really too much about it,
and so when we parked, I was like,
I love the ocean water, I'm gonna get in the ocean, you know?
So I get in the ocean, and I remember that going in,
the beach into the water was a decline, right?
So like, you go down, and I was just like,
knee deep in there, about to, and I was like,
man, this current is pulling back hard, like really hard,
and I kinda take like a step back, and I feel myself
going further down a decline into the ocean, right?
And when I decide to get out, I have to really push hard,
like all legs, like boom, boom, like run,
like you're running up a hill to get out,
and I was like, that was fuckin', that was--
- If the wave hit you there, you're kinda fucked up.
- There was a guy who was a WWE wrestler.
- They tell me though, when I get back to the hotel,
they go, I go, yeah, we took it, I go, that beach was,
that was a little scary, they go, did you get in the water?
And I go, yeah.
And they go, oh, you can't get in that water,
like you'll drown in that water, no one,
did you notice there was nobody swimming there?
And I go, yeah, I noticed.
- I thought it was beautiful.
- But I thought I found a fuckin', you know, and they're like--
- They don't tell you?
- They didn't tell me, they're like,
do not swim in that water, they're like,
you can't swim out of that.
They're like, if you would swam 10 feet in,
they're like, you're just gone.
- Oh my God.
- And the panic you feel, especially in retrospect,
'cause you remember the feeling of being like,
I think I'm stuck here, you know, I think I'm stuck right now.
- Fitzsimmons saved a lady in Thailand.
- Really?
- Yeah, someone was drowning,
and Fitzsimmons swam out and saved them.
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Thailand.
Somewhere crazy like that.
Yeah, he was on vacation.
- I might have made up Thailand.
- It doesn't sound like a place Fitzsimmons would go.
- No, he would go, he's a world traveler.
- No, he's a Hawaii guy.
He surfs in Hawaii.
- Wherever it was.
Fitzsimmons went in the ocean and saved a lady.
- No shit.
- Yeah.
- I saw my dad save a lady in a resort.
- That's a scary thing.
- It was at the bottom of the pool.
Just laying at the bottom of the pool.
- Oh my God.
- When I was like nine years old,
it was like father, son, he took me to this resort,
and there's a slide.
You ever go on a slide where the water that comes
off the slide?
So in other words, when you hit the water,
it's like high impact, you're like holy shit.
And it pushes you down.
I'm nine years old, so this was many years ago.
And I remember I could swim.
I was on swim team as a little kid,
but I remember being like fuck, that is powerful.
Like it pushes you down, right?
And you just swim up and we're all, people are,
you know, at the resort and then look down.
And my dad swims to the bottom of the pool
and pulls up this lifeless body.
And then they do CPR and she came back.
- Holy shit. - Shut up.
- Yeah.
And they would write letters to our house for years.
- Holy shit. - Really?
- She was 19.
- Oh my God. - She wasn't a little kid.
- Did you see the guy, the snowboarder upside down,
when the random skier comes by?
- Yes. - Just sees a snowboard
sticking this far out of the snow.
- Yeah. - With two feet.
- And the guy was buried under the snow.
- He goes, what the fuck?
And he stops, they go up there.
- You saved the guy's life randomly.
Is this, is this separate?
Have you seen the footage where the guy's wearing the GoPro?
- I've seen that. - Right?
And then he's like, oh fuck, into like a hole.
- Yeah. - Oh yeah.
- That you can, is visceral that feeling.
- Oh my God. - And then he's just like,
we'll see what happens.
- Obviously he got out because there's footage.
But when you're watching that, you're like, oh my God,
you could just fall in there forever.
And apparently that's something that happens.
- Tree wells? - That's something that happens.
So this guy just falls and then watch this.
- Bro.
- What?
- I know, Burt's feeling this.
- No, I've had a couple experiences like this.
- He manages to stop himself.
- Yeah. - What the fuck?
- How the fuck do you get out of that?
- How the fuck do you get out of that?
- Fuck the skis.
- How did he get out of that?
- It's over, Joe.
- But no, he's out.
- They had to, I think I've read about this.
They had to get search and rescue.
He had to hang out down there for a while.
Search and rescue had to come up and--
- Holy shit, he's so lucky that he stopped right there.
- But the way, right here he's not flailing.
He's, like, putting his arm and his ski out to try to, like, so this guy was
able to keep
some composure as this was happening.
- Which is, like, kind of the craziest part.
- Oh my God.
So this is the snowboarder that's buried upside down.
- No.
- So this guy just sees that little blue piece.
- Bro.
- Just randomly.
- This happened to me.
- He skied right over him.
- I mean, he easily could've missed that.
- Yeah, could've gone the other way.
- Dude, there's not much blue.
- Soft snow, he's in a tree well is what it is.
So the tree wells, it's really soft, soft snow.
So if you get stuck in a tree well, you are fucking dead.
A lot of people die in tree wells.
- Goddamn.
- Yeah, I'm thinking of getting one of those GPS things.
- So when we went snowboarding in Matterhorn, hella skiing,
and the guy put a beacon on us.
And the first thing he said, he puts a beacon, it's like four feet of powder.
And he says, this is so we can find the body.
And I was like, what?
He's like, you might fall into a crevasse or an avalanche.
So we put the beacon on to find the body.
- Whoa.
- That feeling, this happened to me, that feeling is terrifying.
- This guy's like, thank you.
- Good, we'll get you out of here in a sec, okay?
- He was dead.
- The panic, the panic.
- I'm feeling panic watching this.
- The panic, so what happens is, like what happened to me
when we were hella skiing, is I fell face forward in powder.
I just, I'd never, snow skiing, snowboarding in powder,
four feet of powder is very different than snowboarding.
It's like you have to have your bindings reset,
you have to really know how to ride the powder,
and I could not turn right.
And the guy told me, he's like, don't go within five feet
of my tracks, stay within my tracks.
So the whole time, I can only turn left.
At the time, I really wasn't that good of a snowboarder.
But I could snowboard, but not in powder.
And so he's going like this, and all I can do is go left,
and I'm just going off the track.
- Oh no.
- And I'm fucking panicking.
But by the way, we're at like 13,000 feet, 14,000 feet.
It's very little oxygen.
I'm gassed, I'm fat, I'm hungover.
It's the day after the national championship that we went to.
So we had eaten edibles, it was like--
- It was the day after that?
- It was the day after that.
I flew to fucking, I flew to Switzerland,
and immediately landed and went hella skiing.
- I don't remember that.
- And so, no no no, when we went to Florida State versus Alabama.
- Oh, 2013.
- Yeah, 2013.
So, all of a sudden, I go to turn, cut right,
and I catch my nose, and I fucking go face first in the snow.
And at first, I'm like, fine.
I push my arms in, and they just do not touch anything.
- Oh my gosh.
- It just goes like this, and now snow's impacted on my face,
so I can't really breathe, and I'm, first of all,
I deal with panic, but panic kicks in immediately,
and I'm like, this is why I have the fucking beacon on.
And so, I try to clear the snow out of my face,
but I'm like pulling all the muscles in my back,
trying to turn over, and then the guy just comes up behind me,
grabs me on the back, flips me over,
and he goes, you should see your sound guy.
My sound guy's upside down, skis kicking,
upside down in the snow, and we just got the fuck out.
We got on a helicopter and got the fuck out.
I was like, this isn't safe.