Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2095 - Moshe Kasher
Uploaded: 2024-01-31T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2095 - Moshe Kasher' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2095 - Moshe Kasher' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2095 - Moshe Kasher

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Are we rolling?
Yeah, let's roll.
Yeah, they want to start, save the universe, and then they want to fuck
everyone's wife.
Oh, yes, yes.
It always begins, yeah, yeah.
The dimensional portal will open, and then it ends with, you can't fuck your
wife anymore, but guess who can?
Yeah, what happens is, first they start stockpiling guns.
Yes.
Yeah, it seems like cult leaders have to have guns, because their faith in
their ability to see the universe and all the good and everything is not quite
good enough.
You need an AR.
You need an AR to really get your point across.
Quite a few, you need maybe some flash grenades.
I mean, it is interesting.
It doesn't feel like, it feels like I wouldn't do that.
If you were running a cult?
Well, I wouldn't fuck your wife and make you, like, worship me.
Well, you're a very nice guy.
I'm one of the nicest guys in America.
You're a very nice guy.
I don't know anyone who doesn't like you, by the way.
Is that true?
Yes, I've never met anybody like, that guy's a dick.
Oh, that's really cool.
No one.
I love that.
Everybody likes you.
You're a nice guy.
I like, thank you.
You're a nice guy, too.
Thank you.
I have made that a mark on my life.
I want to be a good guy.
Yes.
It's a good thing to do.
I work at it really hard.
Well, you see people, by the way, and you see that they've made a decision.
Like, I've met Sting.
And I go, okay, Sting, at some point along the line, decided I'm going to be,
like, awesome.
Yeah.
That's going to be my thing.
I'm going to do yoga every day.
Yeah, I'm going to cum forever.
He doesn't cum.
Right, he doesn't cum.
He holds his cum.
Yeah.
He's like, one of these guys.
No, what I'm saying is he was so nice when I met him that he released.
Oh, wow, interesting.
Yeah.
So sweet.
I have it at home in my office with a little jar of Sting cum.
When he goes, he probably really goes.
I think, what is the deal with that tantric?
That's why he says, don't stand so close to me, because he blasts you away.
The tantric thing, they're supposed to have an internal orgasm.
Like, they're supposed to absorb it internally.
Right, right.
I've never, I'm too lazy.
Well, it takes time.
Yeah.
You have to, like, discipline yourself, and then you can cum forever, I guess.
It seems like you're thinking about your cum too much.
That does seem like.
Spending so much time doing that.
A lot of time focused on cum.
I mean, there's probably a benefit in it, but every benefit that you get off of
something
that's a difficult endeavor is a detriment to something else.
What do you think the detriment?
Oh, just your mental energy.
Just the amount of your time you're thinking about your jizz.
Like, it's fucking weird.
I mean, it's like, you know, I mean, I guess you could say that about a lot of
things,
though, right?
You could say that about, like, people who bodybuild.
You could say that about, you know, maybe you're thinking too much about one
thing.
Well, I guess that's, like, kind of, in a way, that's what this book that I
just wrote
is about.
It's about these, like, little-
Show me your book?
These little-
You wrote a book, dude.
Congratulations.
Thank you very much.
I'm always very impressed and also very, like, proud of people who write books.
Because I know this is a fucking task, man.
It's an endeavor, but it's one that I like.
A lot of stand-ups really don't like it, and they feel like it's homework.
I like-
On stage, I do a lot of crowd work.
That's kind of my thing.
And this is the, like, creative opposite of crowd work.
It's not just your material.
It's, like, mega your material.
It's, like, you're a monk kind of creating a thing or whatever.
Like, you should write a book.
I have thought about it many times, and I had a deal to write one once, but as
I was
writing it, they were trying to get me to write it like stand-up, and they
wanted me to write
it in a way that, like, was funny, like you'd be on stage.
Like, how much laughs would you want per minute on stage?
Which I kind of don't really think about even stand-up that much.
I just try to-
I cut out the bullshit.
I edit things, you know, economy of words with bits, but I don't think, like,
how many
laughs I have per minute.
They were, like, very specific about it, and then they said, how about this?
Why don't you just transcribe your stand-up?
And I was like, listen, I have a very different idea of what I want to write
than you do, so
I'm going to give you your money back.
Yeah.
I gave them the money back, and I said, I'm just going to- if I'm going to
write something,
I'm going to write it on my own.
And I did for a little while, and then I stopped.
But it was a lot of it- it was just, like, I only have so much time to write,
and I would
rather write about ideas than I'm going to do on stage.
But I do have an idea about my- I've been working on it a little bit lately.
So I'm thinking about actually going forward with this.
It's about my time when I was in my really early 20s, and I discovered pool
halls.
Oh, yeah?
I saw the two pool tables.
I didn't know you were a big pool guy.
Yeah, I'm obsessed.
Yeah.
Yeah, if I'm not- if I'm, like, for, like, my empty-my-brain time, I watch
professional
pool matches.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Oh, interesting.
You like those tricks?
A lot of them- I watch them with- no, no, I hate tricks.
That's bullshit.
Bullshit.
Okay.
That's what I was going to say.
Well, it's cool.
It's cool that you can do it, but I don't care.
Do you like The Hustler?
Oh, it's a great movie.
That's a good movie.
That's a great movie.
That's a great movie.
Just as a movie.
You know, but the Color of Money is as well.
Aren't they connected?
Yes.
Yeah.
Same guy, Walter Tavis, who also wrote The Queen's Gambit.
Oh, interesting.
About that amazing chess player.
She was an orphan.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's a great series.
That series is really good.
But that Walter Tavis guy was amazing.
He wrote The Hustler is really, like, a psychological drama as much as it is
about pool.
Yeah.
I saw it a long time ago.
I don't quite remember it, but I remember that it's great.
Yeah.
Oh, it's- I can- I could literally say every word by heart.
This pool hall that I used to hang around at in White Plains, New York, they
used to play it on the television all the time.
In the pool hall?
In the pool hall.
Yeah.
My friend Steve, who was the guy who ran the desk, who, you know, ran, you know,
administered, gave people the balls, assigned your tables and stuff.
He used to just put that motherfucker on, like, every time we were there.
We'd never get enough of that.
So what was your thing?
You go into the pool halls when you were- how old were you?
I was, like, 20- when I really started playing, I think I was, like, 23 or 24,
somewhere around then.
And, uh, it was just my- me and my friend John, who was also a comic, we- we
went into this pool hall just for fun.
And, you know, we were just bored during the day.
Well, let's go play pool.
Neither one of us knew how to play pool.
We were terrible.
You know, like, we'd played a couple of times.
Right.
And then, um, we just stumbled into this pool hall that had this insane array
of characters.
All these people that were criminals and hustlers and homeless people and
people who lived in flop houses and people who were fucking insane gambling
addicts that would bet on raindrops coming down a windowpane.
They would bet on fucking anything, man.
They just wanted action.
And you were teens walking in there?
What's that?
You guys were teenagers going in there?
No, no.
We were about- I was- John's a little older than me.
I think I was 23 or 24.
Somewhere around then.
It's like, well, yeah, like 90.
So, yeah, I was probably like 23.
And I just remember thinking, like, this is a whole world that I didn't know
existed.
This weird bachelor culture.
And apparently it emerged really in America in the early 1900s.
In the early 1900s in New York City, there were hundreds and hundreds of pool
halls.
Hundreds of them.
And they were filled with these men that were disconnected from society.
A lot of them had, like, returned from wars.
A lot of them had gotten out of prison.
And they were- it was, you know, during the Depression, there was a lot of
illegal activity.
And people did whatever the fuck they could.
And these men would gather in these pool halls.
And they were some of the wildest people I've ever encountered in my life.
I watched a guy who had just gotten out of jail play chess with his- just with
words.
Just saying where the pieces moved with a 16-year-old kid who was a chess
genius.
He wasn't even moving the pieces?
He would just say this to this?
No, there was no pieces.
Oh, they were playing mind chess?
Mind chess.
Oh, wow.
I was like-
Some Commander Data shit.
These were exceptional people that just happened to never plug into regular
society.
Well, it's like that dude in Malcolm X's autobiography.
The guy that, like, he ran all the numbers in his mind and he never forgot a
single one.
And Malcolm X said, like, he could have been, like, a mathematical genius or a
statistical professor or whatever.
But instead, he was, like, a hustler.
He used that genius to be on the streets.
There's some people that have genius power that they apply to an art form.
But they could have applied it to any- like Jay-Z.
Jay-Z doesn't write any of his lyrics.
Right, right.
If you read Jay-Z's lyrics, they don't seem ad-libbed.
They seem, like, really well-structured and written and, like, funny and, like,
sharp.
And there's so many of them.
Like, how?
How are you remembering all of this?
That's why people call me the Jay-Z of comedy.
Is that why?
You've heard that before.
You've never heard a person not say that about me.
I haven't heard it yet.
But I believe it yet.
It's coming down the pike.
It hasn't gotten here yet.
You know, there's a pool hall in L.A., by the way.
Really?
There's almost none when I left.
There's one in K-Town that apparently- that you go there-
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
A lot of Koreans play pool.
Yeah.
You walk in and you walk into one of them, if you're white, and they're like,
uh-uh.
And you're like, what?
I want to play pool.
They're like, uh-uh.
Next two doors down.
They're allowed to do that.
They're like, uh-uh.
Well, they do whatever they want.
They have their own rules.
And then you walk down, and that's where the white people are playing pool.
But it's the same owner.
Oh, that's hilarious.
But by the way, you cannot complain.
No one will listen.
Yeah, nobody gives a shit.
If you're a fucking white guy, and you can't get into a pool hall, and they
have a pool hall
for white guys, like, shut the fuck up, dude.
There's robberies going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got no time for you.
People are shooting people.
The LAPD.
Why are you whining?
I was rejected access to a Korean pool hall.
It feels very wrong.
Yes.
I want someone to intervene immediately.
This was horrible.
I am a white male.
Maybe if you work your way up through the pool tables in the white one, then
they'll adopt
you into the Korean one.
If they know you, maybe, they're probably gambling.
That's probably what a lot of it is.
I would have, oh, right.
The word pool comes from pooling money together.
Really?
The game is called pocket billiards.
It's not called pool.
That's really interesting.
So it was just a gambling game for the people that had returned from there.
No, it was a game, right?
But I think all games eventually evolve into gambling.
Right.
People gamble on basketball all the time.
People gamble on fights all the time.
Like fighters will gamble against their opponents.
People gamble.
They like to gamble.
It makes things more exciting because now there's money on the line as well as
pride and everything
else.
Are you allowed to bet on fights?
I am not.
You are not allowed to.
Interesting.
I am not allowed to.
Now.
When did that happen?
It's a recent rule that came about because appare