Name: "The Unkillable Soldier" - The Legend of Adrian Carton de Wiart
Uploaded: 2024-02-16T18:59:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"The Unkillable Soldier" - The Legend of Adrian Carton de Wiart' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"The Unkillable Soldier" - The Legend of Adrian Carton de Wiart' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-16. Transcript available.

I've got a new man crush that I need to teach you about and he died 60 years
ago
so it's okay I'm sorry so Jamie can I think this guy might have the best top
paragraph Wikipedia description in history can you just google the
unkillable soldier and you'll see a Wikipedia entry at the top is this a
real human real human when did he live 1880 until about 1960 or so so he went
through no so Adrian Carter so Adrian in the beginning of the movie that's what
they said yes the legend yeah maybe it's not a real guy but what's this is a
Scandinavian movie isn't it no what's a British is a good British Swedish what
who
made a sissu do you see sissu no bro what is it it's amazing what is it is a
John
wick in World War two it's this one it's one fucking badass soldier kills all
the
Nazis it's incredible it's the one of the most satisfying revenge movies yeah
so
go to his Wikipedia Adrian cut on they what I think he might have the best
there it
lieutenant general sir Adrian Paul Gislaine Carton de Wart was a British army
soldier officer born of
Belgian and Irish parents he was awarded the Victoria Cross the highest
military decoration awarded for
valor in the face of the enemy in various Commonwealth countries he served in
the Boer War first world war and
second world war he was shot in the face head stomach ankle leg hip and ear was
blinded in his left eye
survived two plane crashes tunneled out of a prisoner of war camp and tore off
his own fingers when a doctor declined to amputate
them describing his experiences in the first world war he wrote frankly I had
enjoyed the war
there's dudes like that out there you just have to know there's guys like that
out
there this guy's story let me tell you about him man so he gets born in 1882
aristocracy in Belgium and you think he's going to go through the typical aristocratic
route
He goes to Balliol College in Oxford his father wants him to go and study law
and you think
right that's that's the end of the story there at 19 he decides that he wants
to go and see war
sneaks away without telling his father and literally offers himself to either
the Boers or the British the British take him
so holy shit he was like I just want to be in war his holy shit his father
doesn't know so he's away in war he gets shot in the leg and the groin gets
shipped back home
his father says what you were supposed to be in university you've now been shot
he's okay well I'll bless this new military campaign you want to go on
He says I want to be redeployed gets redeployed again to South Africa
He was at the head of the camel corps which was literally a group of people who
rode into battle on camelback
So he gets shot he gets shot in the ear and then in the eye and then a bullet
ricochets and hits him in the same eye again
He's leading these guys into battle
He gets sent back home
The British military say he wants to go out on the first world war
He wants to go to the front lines of the first world war now
But they said we can't send a guy with one eye out there because it's going to
look like we've got really weak soldiers
So they give him a glass eye and say the only way you can go back out is if you
wear this glass eye
And he says okay in the taxi leaving the hospital takes it out throws it out of
a window and starts wearing an eye patch
the first battle that he's in when he
Rejoins when he rejoins the army in world war one
a piece of shrapnel explodes his hand and all that's left are two fingers
hanging on by
The skin of the palm of his hand and his watch actually embeds itself in his
arm, too
So that this is the first thing that he's encountered again
Goes to the field hospital the doctor declines to amputate the fingers
So he just rips them off
In front of him because he's in so much pain the arm then has to be amputated
So he says to the guys again. I want to be redeployed like you are now a one-eyed
amputee
I want to be deployed battle of the somme his next battle that he goes into
there's reports from other soldiers
Seeing carton de warte running into battle pulling the pins out of grenades
with his teeth
Throwing them at the enemy and reloading a revolver with one hand
So this guy is a single armed killer during that he gets shot in the
He gets shot through the back of the head
Through the head
Doesn't die
In subsequent battles
Oh, he uh, he got promoted for 24 hours before he threatened to punch his
superior and then got demoted again
So he's just like this totally wild dude
Anyway
He goes through this series of different difficult military exposes
He takes over three squadrons who don't have a commanding officer
None of them have any communication
So he this one-armed one-eyed guy decides to run back and forth between the
three different companies
Communicating his own orders rather than using a messenger. He just does it
himself
That was what he got the victoria cross for which is our equivalent of the
medal of honor during this time
He shot a bunch more you think right, okay
This guy's just led the most
Insane campaign through the boer war and the first world war time for him to
retire
wrong
60 years old in 1940
He gets conscripted and drawn back up to help run secret missions
So his first mission one of his first missions he gets shot down in a fjord
going toward romania
There's a german plane that shot his plane down
Circling overhead rather than get into the dinghy because it would be an easy
target
This one-armed one-eyed guy and all the rest of the crew
Just bob under the water until this german fighter plane runs out of ammunition
That goes away. He finally gets picked up second time. He goes up in a plane
this plane crash lands
and he swims to shore carrying a
uh injured comrade who survives one arm but
Swims carrying this other dude gets captured by the italians
He's then part of five escape attempts and digs a 60 meter tunnel with one arm
and a bunch of other dudes
Then he spends a full week
Hiding out in northern italy despite the fact that he's 62 years old one-armed
one-eyed can't speak italian
And has covered in scars
Then he finally finally gets picked up and released
They said that the only thing that the italians had left to do was to use him
to enable an armistice
They wanted to no longer be a part of the war
They use carton duarte to be an envoy between the two nations
And they said well, you've been a prisoner of war for nine months
You don't look or smell the way that you should do
Why don't we give you a nice italian tailor?
And he
Rejected their offer to give him an italian suit and said he would only wear
one if they got it from savile row
Because quote he didn't want to look like a gigolo
This guy's a human badger
He's 31 medals shot nearly as many times got used he insulted Mao
He insulted chairman Mao in China when he got he got used by Winston Churchill
There's photos of him stood behind Churchill
Eye patch
Like just a fucking sleeve
And he's my new
Look at him
Look at him
Wow
Wow