Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2108 - Tom Green
Uploaded: 2024-02-24T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2108 - Tom Green' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2108 - Tom Green' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2108 - Tom Green

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
Good to see you, bro.
Yes, you too, you too.
And we're up.
What the fuck is happening, Tom?
Yeah, yeah.
Great to be here, man.
My man.
Made it back, made it back.
Last time I saw you, I don't know, my eyes might have been a little crossed.
Well, last time I saw you was last night.
Right, that's right.
And the night before that.
Yeah, that's true, that's true.
We'd start with that then.
But the last time we saw each other on a podcast, things went a little westward.
We got a little intoxicated.
So, absolutely.
So, you know, the whiskey kept pouring, the whiskey kept pouring, and that was
when I had that van.
So I still have the van, but at the time I was kind of living in the van,
traveling in the van.
So I drove here.
Heavy COVID.
This is like the beginning of COVID, where it was like weird to be around each
other.
Like, are we okay?
Mm-hmm.
We got tested.
Yeah.
Okay, right.
We did.
We're good.
Got the COVID test.
And then I had the van out in the parking lot.
Yeah.
And we started drinking the whiskey about midway through the show.
And then the next thing I know, I'm opening my eyes in my van.
And it's the next day.
And I'm just like, oh, shit.
What happened on the show?
So, you know, I think maybe the last half hour of the show was such a blur.
I don't really quite remember getting the van.
But I had a nice sleep in the parking lot.
It was amazing.
And then I kind of was a little nervous about like, geez, that's a weird
feeling when you-
Don't know what you said.
Don't know what you said.
Yeah.
And I called my mom.
And everybody seemed, you know, like it was- people thought it was funny.
But, I mean, I think she was a little concerned about the drinking, the amount
of drinking.
But, no, that was a great time.
But I'm not-
It was fun.
Yeah, it was a great time.
It was fun.
So, we got a little off the rails.
You didn't have to go anywhere.
No.
Your van was parked.
It was awesome.
It was awesome.
What is it like sleeping in parking lots?
That's got to be an odd thing.
Well, I rarely did that in the van.
It was mostly out in these remote desert parks, like out in Bureau of Land
Management land,
BLM land in the desert.
Yeah.
And I was going around filming.
And so, I wasn't- but there was a couple of times I'd sleep in a truck stop
because I
was wanting to make a lot of distance.
So, I'd drive until I kind of couldn't keep my eyes open.
Then I'd pull over at a truck stop and sleep between-
It's a sketchy proposition, right?
You don't know who's around.
Yeah.
Well, in the desert, it's a little more nerve-wracking.
Because you're all alone out there.
Oh, yeah.
And people can see the van and the distance.
And it's a pretty nice van.
That's when the aliens come, too.
So, uh-huh.
Yeah.
You're all alone.
I was hoping for that, but-
Nothing?
No aliens.
I had a nice flyover from a U.S. fighter jet in the Trona Pinnacles in this
amazing part
of desert in California.
Oh, yeah.
And I was the only person there.
And I could tell this fighter jet saw me.
And he just kind of came in right over.
Oh, wow.
Right over the van.
Just to say hi?
Yeah.
And I didn't get my camera out in time.
And I flew in one of those once.
Yeah.
Yeah.
With the Blue Angels.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
God, it's insane when you realize what those jets can do.
And I think what they were flying was like an F-A-18.
See if that's true.
Nice.
Yeah.
I think that's it.
That's what we did.
And-
I believe they are, actually.
I think they have even more capable jets now.
Because this is when, I want to say this was like 2003, 2002, something like
that.
Way back in the day.
I have a plaque, you know, that says you flew with the Blue Angels.
Pull major G-forces.
I've never been in a fighter jet.
Yeah.
I think I did six and a half Gs, something like that.
And I stayed conscious.
But then I blacked out when I forgot to do the hooking on a lesser run.
Like it was lesser.
It was like four Gs or something like that.
Forgot to do the-
Oh, I'm sorry.
When you're going through high Gs, you do a thing called hooking.
I think that's how they say it.
When you hold on to the joystick or you can hold on to your straps on your legs
if you're
the passenger like I was.
And you go like this.
Hooch, hooch, hooch, hooch.
And you're literally forcing blood into your head to stay conscious.
So while we're doing this, I'm feeling- that's what you're doing.
See how she's doing that?
Nice.
See how she's doing that?
Yeah.
So this is why-
That's how you stay conscious.
That's how you stay conscious.
You have to force the blood into your fucking brain.
It seems like it's kind of slightly on the edge of not being a perfect system,
right?
Well, it's like you've got to be a bad motherfucker to fly those things.
Those guys were all lifting.
All those Blue Angels piles, they were all jacked.
They were all super diesel.
Yeah.
Because these guys are just fucking-
They're wrestling with that thing.
Yeah.
Like, it's not as simple as like, you're choo, choo, choo, choo.
Like, the physical force of going to six Gs is so extraordinary.
You haven't felt anything like it in your life.
When you're-
And these guys can go to like 13 Gs, some of them.
Yeah.
I don't think I-
It's fucking insane.
I don't think I would want to do that, actually.
I would probably just-
I sometimes don't want to do those kinds of things.
You don't have to do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looks amazing, but I just feel like-
I'm glad I did it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
After-
Just as a wake-up call, like, you think you understand-
You see a jet, and I think of it almost like-
Well, obviously, like, driving a race car is very difficult, right?
But driving a car fast is not that difficult.
Yeah.
You know, like, if you have a good car, if you buy a new car today that handles
really well,
you can- if there's no one around, you can go pretty fucking fast, and it's
really in
control.
But those things are different, man.
It's like, there's a physical experience, and it's-
It's so fast.
There's so much power and force behind those things.
You got a plane yet?
You're getting a plane, Joe?
Ooh, fuck that.
No.
No.
No.
Bill Burr pilots.
Bill Burr flies around in a goddamn helicopter.
Yeah, that's-
He took me up around downtown LA.
We just- you can fly wherever you want in a helicopter.
Yeah, helicopters are even more of a no-no for me.
Because they seem to go down a little too much, you know?
I've been in a few.
I flew in a Blackhawk through, you know, Baghdad, and did one of those USO
tours, went to stand
up over there back in 2003.
How was that?
That was a pretty, pretty wild experience.
It was right before- like, it was probably, fortunately for my nervous system,
right after
the Mission Accomplished banner and right before shit hit the fan with the IEDs.
So I was kind of thinking, oh, it's okay.
No big deal.
And we were over there in the green zone and we were flying around in the Blackhawk
helicopter.
One night they said, you want to go out on a night patrol in like a tank?
And I was all set to go.
And then they had to cancel it because of some sort of attack.
And then we started hearing there's some stuff happening.
We were there for a few days only, but they started avoiding, you know, stuff
on the road
and the Humvees.
And then the second I got back to, you know, stateside, that's when it started
to get real
bad over there.
But I did a few of those.
I did Afghanistan as well and was on Chinook helicopters.
Oh, wow.
Because my dad was military.
So that's why I'm rocking the Canadian Army jacket.
Canadian Army.
We've got an army.
I heard recently.
Recently heard about it.
They didn't fight too hard against tyranny.
Here we go.
No, it's, well, we did, you know, actually, we fought pretty hard against the
Germans.
I mean, the internal tyranny.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Internal government tyranny.
Yeah, it's fun.
You know, I watch your show all the time, Joe.
So it's like, I know I'm, and I'm a very proud Canadian.
Tom, you're the granddaddy of the show.
The granddaddy.
Well, yeah, I don't know about that.
But I mean, first of all, you've always been very nice to, you know, give me a
shout out
about those early days of broadcasting in the living room.
Well, dude, you're an awesome guy.
I've always loved you.
You're always cool to be around.
And you also, your show in 2007, when I went on your show, that was 100% a
major inspiration
for me to do this.
Because I remember thinking, oh my God, he figured it out.
Like, I remember, I remember very clearly, like, sitting next to you on that
chair going,
dude, this is it.
Like, this is it.
All you have to do is figure out how to make money with this.
Yeah.
You said that on the show.
Yeah.
Which was hilarious.
And then you figured that out.
Yeah.
You really figured that out.
That's cool.
That was the missing link.
Damn it.
But no, no, that's amazing.
No, it's, you know, I remember when we were doing it, I had, you know, I always
wanted to
do a talk show when I was growing up.
I loved Letterman, right?
And I'd done my show on.
You were great at it.
Yeah.
I really did enjoy.
The first show was more, you know, me out in the street doing crazy stuff.
And then we did a talk show, which was a little bit more of a sort of a nightly
show, a little
bit more time to talk.
And I did love doing that.
When the show stopped, it was right at the time of, you know, technology
changing on the
web.
And that was kind of always kind of how I, I was kind of looking at technology
usually
because, you know, when I was a kid, I was in a rap group and it was from
technology,
right?
I remember drum machines came out and we were listening to Public Enemy and
went, what are
these sounds, you know, how do you do that, right?
And then I would go work a summer job.
I'd buy a sampler and a Kai S900 sampler and an Atari computer.
And, you know, I'm making beats in my parents' basement in Ottawa, Canada.
No one's making beats in Ottawa, Canada, you know.
We started this group called Organized Rhyme.
What year is this?
This was, well, we started in mid-80s.
So this was all pre-internet.
Yeah, pre-internet.
Yeah, yeah.
This was high school.
So how are you finding out about all this stuff back then?
Well, that was, you know, friends at school were listening to rap music.
So friends at school were like, hey, you got to check out Public Enemy.
You got to check out Boogie Down Productions.
I'm like, Boogie Down Productions?
Then you'd get someone to give you a cassette of, like, the criminal-minded Boogie
Down Productions Bridges Over album.
And you're listening to it and they're rapping about Scott LaRock, their DJ,
who'd been, you know, unfortunately, you know, passed away in bad circumstances.
He was shot and killed.
And then you're listening to this sort of, that was the internet to me, you
know, was rap music and skateboarding.
Thrasher magazine was skateboarding.
You'd read stories about skateboarders in California in a magazine.
You'd listen to rap music and hear stories about, you know, people who were not
in Ottawa, you know, doing cool shit.
And I was kind of wanting to get up on stage and perform.
I was kind of dabbling with stand-up at Yuck Yucks in the comedy club in Ottawa.
And so...
When you say dabbling?
Well, I was doing stand-up.
I was doing stand-up.
But I never really got to really, you know, a level where I was kind of...
I was doing it every week.
I was going down every week for a couple of years.
And actually, the reason I stopped was because the rap group got kind of sort
of a record deal, basically.
And I kind of went and focused on that for a while and stopped doing stand-up.
But, yeah, the club in Ottawa, Yuck Yucks in Ottawa, still there.
It's moved.
But it's owned by Howard Wagman, who's...
Yuck Yucks is kind of like the improv of Canada.
You know, it's a chain all across the country.
Mark Breslin, I'm sure you know Mark.
He started