Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz
Uploaded: 2024-03-29T17:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2128 - Joey Diaz

this is a good way to open up the podcast is jamie is an expert on all things
black twitter
well what's going on jamie i don't know it's there's a lot going on a lot of
rumors are flying
the rumors are that diddy was running some kind of epstein type deal where he
was filming
everybody right that's the rumors yeah i don't know that there's any proof or
anything other than that
the thing is like we're getting the rumors from the internet and the internet
thinks that the
taliban took out that bridge in baltimore so it's like who fucking knows who
knows what's real that's
what diddy's lawyers i think said it was like that these are just trumped up
charges not trumped up i
don't think they said that but like like bullshit charges dude when homeland
security invades your
you got brought with dudes with fucking guns and body armor there's someone
said that they weren't
there to take stuff they were there to delete everything like the real people
that were in
there you know oh that's funny with epstein oh that's funny yeah that's of
course there's layers
upon layers when you get into these fucking conspiracy theories man they never
end they never end
there's just layers upon layers upon layers it's fun to talk about it is fun to
talk about it's hard to
know what's true but why people genuinely love it when someone like diddy gets
caught though
the glee that people have is weird why because he's too successful
also that's like there was always so much east coast west coast shit that's
still like in the zeitgeist
you know like with biggie and tupac and they're all hating at each other and
they both got killed and
there was a lot going on and then there's people that thought that puffy was
involved and shook knight
was involved i think shook knight's the one who said that thing i just thought
of what thing about that
they were there to delete stuff well if he really was filming everybody let me
see i mean he had a lot
of people at those parties right you know who said luke from two live crew yeah
he said he was to leave
early yeah when luke from two live crew is leaving early like you got a wild
party
what if what's happening is too up for luke from two live crew like check
please there's so many
different stories who knows what are you gonna do i'm not doing we're not
involved in them i was never
at diddy's party i don't even know the motherfucker i don't want to nobody
telling nobody telling jokes
like i told you having fun that's it smoking dope cracking jokes making people
that's everything else is
background music and living in la you have all this that's going on around you
that's what i you know
you have your life and then you have all this that goes in and out of your ears
all day and you're like i just want to do stand up you also have those uh those
celebrity
environments where celebrities all get together and there's so many of them you
know and these wild
parties and if you got a wild party and p diddy puts on that wild party and you
know he sets everybody up
like if you were an intelligence agent you know like a jeffrey epstein type
deal that'd be the way to
do it big old crazy party get everybody loose and get the camera get them by
yayo get them to yayo
and everything else get them all everything you need get fired up get those
cameras rolling and now
you got everybody under wraps
what a twisted web some folks weave
you all right over there yeah you gotta concentrate that is a skill that i
never picked up
the roll your own skill never picked it up no sometimes you got no choice but
to pick it up
yeah no i should have you're sitting there with reefer i admire people that do
it when i see a person that
can roll a solid joint i'm like that is a that's an exceptional person it's
like a person who can
play guitar i'm like oh you took the time there's a level of skill with it too
some people can roll
some nice ones oh yeah man like they're done by a machine i've seen dudes in
instagram driving their
car rolling in one hand that's that's that's next level yeah that's the next
level that's next level
charlie murphy could roll a hell of a blunt charlie murphy's one of those you
know who else rolls a
hell of a bunt lewis lewis gomez yeah yeah gomez rolls a hell of a blunt and he
does it the real way
he doesn't just split the spliff and open it up and licking it he takes the
paper out and he makes
you know cuts it like he'll unravel a cigar and then take this the tobacco
paper and cut it and wet it
and get it down i just don't want to get high it's like free basin coke i gotta
run it and run it through
a sock that's gotta dry no just give me the reefer i'd rather i like smoking blunts
but that's what
gave me pneumonia last summer i started smoking blunts yeah sure enough it gave
you an ammonia pneumonia
pneumonia really pneumonia last summer do you think it's definitely from that
it was that in the sleep
what was it was a bunch of shit what it really was was that an abscess oh and
the sleep mask oh i
cleaned that mother for 20 years dog this was i'm shooting a movie with kevin
and it blew oh really in
my mouth as i was shooting with kevin oh you had no idea no i'm spitting blood
and puss and i'm like oh
and then i started feeling sick oh no thank god we wrapped thank god we wrapped
i'm like i'm not
gonna make it home i couldn't even drive i got home i went right to sleep the
next day i got up and went
right to the doctor and that started you know because doctors aren't now they
send you to 20
different places so by the time you get there you know what this started with
the pneumonia what they
saw a thing in my kidney what's that when you have a kidney stones kidney stone
yeah they go we gotta
start drinking whatever i'm like kidney stones yeah then i went to another
doctor and he's like you're
not a kidney stone there's something wrong with the bottom of your lung oh and
there's a cyst in your
heart a cyst something that kept growing over the years like a little boil by
one of the valves oh
jesus all right then he sent me for another one then finally eisenberg fucking
sent me to the real
deal and he goes this eliminates everything when i left there i thought he was
gonna say we're gonna
put in a stent and all this shit he goes no just aspirin i just want you to go
on a baby aspirin
really that's it he goes your heart's perfect you're good that's it my calcium
score was good
which was very surprising you know i stopped eating bacon in the mornings yeah
how come just just
i do an avocado toast instead you know i'd rather do avocado toast with an egg
and a bowl of fruit
that's good that's yeah that's perfect that's good you know i used to eat a
cheese omelet with french
fries with 10 pieces of bread with butter on it so that's this works this is
better this works yeah
you know that's definitely better get them healthy fats yeah how good is that
sushi place you went to
oh my god you shout out to yuki hand roll jesus christ yeah the when you got
up to go to the bathroom is when he dropped my rolls i'm like whose is this it
was just a
fucking a chunk yeah and especially now with this new economics that sushi's
getting smaller and
smaller it is in all places this fucking there was two hunks of fucking tuna
there yeah i'm full big
they give you big pieces at yuki and the guy came from nobu super sweet guy
really nice you guys have
put together a hell of a fucking time remember we've been coming here since the
19th and we used to come
and we used to just go to papa does yep and uh well there was another place we
went to the mexican joint
papacitos and that's it and that was where we went for three days now look what
you got here yeah
it's like an empire of everything you guys were talking the green room last
night about all the
different restaurants and you guys didn't stop moved here so many people didn't
stop you guys did not
everybody had a suggestion how about this place you asked for a steak here
eight people raised their hand
mexican food go to that place that's fusion there's so many good steakhouses in
town that people forget
you know you go uh you know you go oh you got jay carver's right perry's perry's
bobs bobs there's
excitement down three forks three forks yeah it's very exciting you know last
two nights the store in
its heyday like 2019 2018 i gotta be honest with you i would do my spots and i
would have to go to the
kitchen and sit in the corner by myself and i would just watch to to think that
this was really happening
yeah because it would assault all your like it was just so much it was
celebrities yeah i remember one
night half of ufc was there yeah you know like you look around there's eight
guys in the ufc right there
and you're like what the is happening up here what the all these people you
know the last two nights i
had to leave early and i you go home and you can't sleep yeah last night when
you text me i was awake i
got home at 11. i couldn't sleep from everything i was writing and thinking and
coming on his head and
fucking yeah you know it's it's what stand up does to you at night it's you
know you can't not be a
fucking early riser with stand up because even if you do an eight o'clock show
unless you're a
fucking mope you're thinking about that set yeah even when you're eating with
your friend ha ha you
you know where you went week tonight even though you did great that one joke
didn't work you're
thinking about how you can make it better that's what i missed i didn't miss
the planes i didn't miss the
hotels right i missed having four ideas and starting to get on stage and trying
to connect those four
ideas together and when those four ideas get connected together i'm just saying
four ideas
three different premises right right it's the best feeling it's better than sex
it's incredible sex
and that's what i missed everything else i didn't look at the age you know no
well there's a relationship
with the audience that's so pure because you know they know you like they
really know you they know
you from podcasts they know you from your bits they they fucking know you they
know you from conversations
they get it and then they're watching you put together this thing that's really
for them it's for
you because you create it and you know you get paid to say it and you get this
great feeling that you did it
but for a person like a fan like when i was watching you last night as a fan
like i got to see a bunch
of the new that you were doing that i was telling you was killing me but it's
it's a beautiful feeling
it's a great feeling when someone that you really love is really who's really
funny who's got new stuff
and they're killing it and it's just like this this atmosphere so there's 250
people we're all sharing this
moment so it's it's super positive in like all ways it makes people feel better
they leave that place
they feel better and so when you know that you can do that then you get
together in the green room afterwards
you're like ah this one bit there's like something missing it's fucking there's
something clunky about it
it just feels fake it feels like it's too perform i gotta rework it i gotta
rework it and then you start from scratch you figure it out but it's just
because you want to get to that place where the fan the audience is like yes
you hit them with some they didn't see coming and oh or they get to see some
that maybe you did six
months ago but now it's tight it's tighter yeah yeah now it's got all these new
punch lines and new new
avenues that you could take it to it's the worst is when you three years later
and you get a bit and you're
like you know what i wish i could use that bit now right that bit i did three
years ago fits right in
here now but you're like if i bring it up people gonna know i'm doing old jokes
yeah but sometimes
just shove it in there anyway who cares just because it fits it's perfect it's
funny the whole idea is
just be as funny as possible yeah that i got you're always supposed to be
coming up with new material for
sure