Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson
Uploaded: 2024-04-05T17:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-05. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2131 - Brian Simpson

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Stream by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Let's go.
Netflix special, what's up?
Netflix special live from the mothership, streaming on Netflix right now.
The first special live from the mothership to be streamed on Netflix.
Yeah, man.
How's that?
It's exciting, man.
It's great, too, man.
Yeah, yeah.
You nailed it.
You fucking nailed it.
It's going to get a good positive response from the comedy community, too.
Beautiful.
Yeah, yeah.
Beautiful.
Everybody's loving it.
Yeah, it's just going to keep going, keep getting stronger now.
I know.
It's such a nice feeling, man.
It's so nice to watch this happen for you because, you know, you were one of
the guys that came
out here early.
You took an early risk.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of people in the beginning were like, what the fuck is
everybody doing moving
to Texas in the middle of the pandemic?
Yeah, but, you know, honestly, it didn't feel like that big of a risk.
Well, maybe at the time.
I don't remember, man.
But it felt like an easy decision when I made it.
But it was a last minute thing.
I literally, from the time I decided to move, like I'm moving to the time I
moved, I think
it was like a month.
Yeah, it was quick for me, too, man.
I mean, I came out here in May of 2020 and I started looking at houses
immediately.
And then, you know, we got, there was like, you know, a little hesitation with
Mrs. Rogan
and the girls were really into it right away because when we got out of here,
you could
jump in the lake.
People were partying.
It was like, we went on a boat.
My real estate agent's a genius.
She took us out on the lake and she showed us, like, this is the life out here.
Like, people are having fun.
And everybody was terrified in L.A.
Everybody was wearing masks outside.
It was just, and here, like, no one had masks on outside.
You go to restaurants and my daughters just wanted a life, a real life.
And that's back when they were like, they were fucking with the store.
Yeah.
Bad.
Like, the city, it was so crazy for the store to be two blocks from, what's
that country
bar?
Road, what is it?
Roadhouse?
Saddle Ranch.
Saddle Ranch.
It was two blocks from Saddle Ranch.
And Saddle Ranch had, you know, a hundred people out there with little dividers
between
them and everything.
And then the store, they tried to have, they tried to do the same thing, but
they put comedy
outside with, like, dividers in front of everybody and everything.
And the city was still like, no.
Yeah.
That's live performance.
Shut it down.
We couldn't do comedy through the fucking window.
My friend's brother worked for the city and worked in the COVID department.
And one of the women who was in charge of making the decision to close down
outdoor dining,
he said to her, there's no evidence that outdoor dining causes a spread.
And she said, yeah, but it's about optics.
It's about optics.
So some person who none of their money is dependent upon business being open,
they get that same
check every week.
That check is, that's what you get.
You work for the fucking state.
This is my check.
She didn't give a fuck about just stopping millions and millions of dollars in
business
and stopping all of these restaurants from being able to stay alive.
All these people that bust.
You ever worked in a restaurant?
Oh, yeah.
That's work, man.
That's work.
When I was, I guess I was 21, I was dating this girl who, she got a degree in
hotel management
and hospitality, like that kind of thing.
And dude, the hours that she had to work were crazy.
Right out of college, she was working like all day long.
12-hour days were normal.
And if you were a manager, you'd come in on Saturday if they needed you.
You'd do everything that they asked you to do.
And you don't make any money.
That's grueling.
The amount of money that a restaurant makes, like a restaurant has to be like
really killing
it to make money.
Right.
Generally, they're just above the part where they're losing money.
Just above.
They do pretty, if they're packed, they're doing great, but there's nights that
they're
not packed and then you got all this food you bought.
That's how most comedy clubs are right now.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're just, we're living in some dreamland.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Mother Ship doesn't have to worry about that at all.
I don't know how that happened so well.
It's crazy how it happened so well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Every single night.
We could have never.
Like when we were, we used, Brian and I, for people who don't know, we would
sit in the
green room of the Vulcan.
And this was the dark days where like no one knew what was going to happen with
live
performance anywhere.
There was no touring.
Nobody was touring.
Well, Bert was touring still.
He was doing parking lots.
Oh, right.
He was doing those drive-in shows.
He's a savage.
He was the only one.
Actually, no.
Eliza did it too.
Yeah, him and Eliza.
Right.
A few other people did it too.
I don't know, man.
But Bert invented the drive-in thing.
But the point is, it was weird.
We didn't know what was going to happen.
And then we would be talking about, we got to build a club.
Because Ron White literally grabbed me by my shoulders.
You know, it was like, whatever the fuck we have to do, we're opening up a
fucking club
here.
He was like, we're going to fucking keep doing this.
I was like, okay, we've got to keep doing this.
It was literally Ron White grabbing me in November of 2020.
It was the first time he had been on stage.
And he crushed.
Of course.
Not only did he crush, the ovation that he got when he was walking to that
stage.
Holy shit.
I forget who brought him up.
I think it was Duncan.
I forget who brought him up.
But whoever brought him up, the fucking ovation that he got was so insane.
You saved him too?
Because he went from retiring to now he's on the road again.
Yeah, I was telling him, you're never retiring.
What are you talking about?
They invited me to his retirement party.
I go, I'm not going to your Fugazi retirement party.
There's no way that's real.
You're not quitting.
You're one of the best comics alive.
You get to do one of the most amazing things.
Make people happy.
Make a bunch of people just laugh and feel so good.
And he's better than ever.
Better than ever.
Better than ever.
Sharper than ever.
Always writing and enthusiastic.
He's revived.
Yeah, man.
I think dudes get to a certain age where they have this thing in their head
where, oh, this
is not my thing anymore.
I'm going to just settle.
Why?
Are you alive?
Are you alive?
Can you still kill?
You can still do it, right?
George Carlin died on the road, son.
He died in a hotel room like a fucking soldier.
That's true.
He was like a thousand years old, whining about the country.
And George Carlin had a career that lasted for like 50 plus years.
Yeah, and Bob Saget died on the road?
Bob Saget died tragically.
That's a horrible one, man.
Blacked out, fell and hit his head.
You know, we saw our friend Duncan the other night black out.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Duncan fainted at the Black Keys concert, and he didn't know he was fainting.
He didn't know what was going on.
And I caught it.
Red Band grabbed me, and he goes, look, what's going on over here with Duncan?
And I got over to him, and our security guy had caught him before he fell.
But I thought he tripped over this box, because it was like open, you know,
those boxes they
use for equipment?
Because we were backstage, we were in the corner, we had this dope spot to
watch the
show.
And when he grabbed him, when Bruce grabbed him, Duncan just seemed weird.
I grabbed him, I'm like, you okay?
Did you get hurt?
He goes, no.
I go, did that thing fall on you?
And Bruce was like, no, he fell on it.
And I go, what happened?
He goes, I don't know.
I'm fine, though.
I'm fine.
But then I feel his body, like, giving out in my hands.
So I've got my hands on him, because I was helping him out, but I feel him
giving out.
And so I go, hey, man, you okay?
Are you okay?
And so he starts, like, slumping, you know?
And I go, hey, we're going to get, let's sit you down.
Let's sit you down.
And we're trying to figure out what's going on.
Okay.
And, you know, he was sober.
It wasn't a drug.
It wasn't anything like that.
And then we sit him down.
I go, are you all right?
He goes, yeah, it's so weird, man.
I just felt so weird.
I just, all of a sudden, I just, I just was passing out.
And he goes out again.
He just goes out again right there.
And I grab him.
I go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
And then they get EMTs.
And then this lady comes to take care of him.
And this dude comes.
And we carry him over to a cot.
I think he was locking out his knees.
I don't know what it was.
So you know what was weird is that we haven't talked about this since that
happened.
Yeah.
Well, I talked about it with him.
Yeah.
He doesn't, I don't know if you,
he knows we're going to talk about it on the podcast.
Oh, yeah.
He probably doesn't want us to talk about it.
You think so?
I don't know.
Should we not talk about it?
I don't know.
Let's put a, we'll put a placeholder in there.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
How did I get to that point, though?
We're talking about drugs?
No.
We're talking about, um.
Blacking out?
Oh, Bob Saget.
Oh, Bob Saget down.
So Bob Saget just fainted, which fucking happens, man.
I mean, you could, there's a lot of people that want to blame it on the vaccine.
Blame it on this and that.
Like, might, maybe.
But also, people faint, unfortunately.
It's, I've seen people faint stone cold sober.
Tony Hitchcliffe fainted one night at the comedy store so bad he banged his
head.
And everybody was really worried about him.
Just fainted.
You know, it happens.
I fainted in boot camp.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Right after them telling us not to lock out our legs.
I wasn't listening.
Oh.
Locked out my leg.
Woke up like, everybody's over you.
It's like time travel.
Why?
You were explaining this to me, but it didn't make any sense to me.
The locking out the legs thing.
Yeah, for whatever, like, if you're standing still for a long period of time
and you fully
extend your knees, it just, it cuts off circulation or something.
But yeah, I've seen people drop like flies.
Like, if you ever had a parade or something, you'll see people drop like that.
And it's just, what a dumb feature in human beings.
The medical name is orthostatic posture syncope.
Happens at churches, graduations, weddings, or at events when standing a long
time.
More common if one keeps the knees locked.
This pools the blood in the leg veins.
A person who stands long enough in one place will faint.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
I thought that was a myth.
Nah, I've seen it happen a lot.
That's crazy.
Multiple people.
I would have argued with that to the end of time.
I was like, no, no, I'm not fainting.
If I lock my legs out, I'm not fainting.
I am not fainting.
I think, well, it varies.
Some people don't.
Like, I think if you have, like, really good circulation.
I blacked out once, and it was so embarrassing.
Was it from just standing?
No, I was in a F.A. 18 going six and a half Gs.
Well, that's kind of a humblebragger.
Well, no, no, no, because I got through more Gs.
I got through seven and a half Gs.
We did seven and a half, and I was, I was,
on the verge of blacking out.
And first of all, these pilots, these pilots,
they're not using gravity suits.
And those Air Force and Navy pilots that fly those jets,
those guys are jacked, dude.
They have to be really fit because part of the thing
is forcing blood into your brain.
So while you're, like, while you're steering this fucking insane vehicle, dude,
when you're in one of those things, and you realize what they can do,
and he took me for a ride.
We went through the mountains.
Oh, wow.
He's going, I mean, we're only, like, 100, 200 feet off the ground.
This fucking dude is expertly piloting this thing through trenches and shit.
It was wild.
It was terrifying.
But then he was explaining to me, okay, you know,
they take you through th