Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2146 - Deric Poston
Uploaded: 2024-05-07T17:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2146 - Deric Poston' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2146 - Deric Poston' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2146 - Deric Poston

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Derrick!
My brother!
My man!
Let's go.
Joe Rogan.
Bro, we've had a million conversations like this in the green room.
We've already done like a thousand podcasts.
This is my every night right here.
We need a fucking studio in that club.
You know, we need to put a podcast studio in that club.
I've been thinking about it, but like we don't have the space for it.
Yeah, where would it go?
It wouldn't go anywhere.
There's no place.
There's no, we have, we used, it's like very efficient.
We have all the space.
I don't know.
Yeah, but.
I think what we need is an apartment.
We need an apartment close.
So we can just go right over.
Go right over.
Like go, apartment that's just set up as a studio.
When you get in there, it's just all studio.
That would be nice, Joe.
Yeah, because there's so many apartments that are available in that area, right?
I just got one.
Yeah, Jamie just got one.
Let's go, Jamie.
You should get next door so I don't have a neighbor.
Oh, that's not a bad idea.
How far away are you from my club?
Two blocks.
Oh, let's go.
Is the next door neighbor open?
I think they all are.
Oh, that'd be perfect.
It'd give you the keys.
Wait till you see my view.
Oh, that's what I want.
I want a view like that because like how dope would that be?
Late night, all of us chilling, windows, see the city.
I was going to do that in downtown L.A.
Really?
Yeah, but then I went to downtown L.A.
I'm like, oh my God.
And I brought my family and I brought my daughters when they were young.
And I was like, oh my God, am I going to have to kill somebody?
It was crazy.
This is pre-pandemic, man.
Yeah.
This is before the shit hit the fan.
I'm like, people were just pissing all over the place.
It smelled terrible.
There's some really good donut place that's in downtown L.A.
So we were like, let's go get some donuts.
Let's get crazy.
Yeah.
Let's just go find.
So we wound up going to the one in Pasadena or Glendale.
There's one somewhere else.
There's one somewhere else that's also like that.
And we wound up with Silver Lake.
It was a lot of hippies.
It was like the total opposite.
I'm going to take hippies all day.
I'll take like, you know, woke people with fucking green hair all day.
All day over I Am Legend?
Bro, full on I Am Legend.
Full on I Am Legend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
To go down there and get a donut though, it's worth it.
L.A. donuts are the best.
It's not even fucking close.
Really?
I think so.
Kind of like a New York bagel.
It's something about certain breads, I feel like, in certain places that hit
different.
Bro, when Krispy Kreme's coming out of the donut,
right out of the oven, it's hard to fuck with anything else.
Nothing.
Look, those glazed ones, the maple glazed, when they're coming right out.
Oh.
Oh, Joe.
So good.
So good.
You fucked me up though.
I haven't had bread, Joe.
I haven't really had bread.
I mean, maybe twice since we did the carnival.
Good.
Maybe twice.
Good.
You fucked it up.
Every now and then it's okay.
Every now and then it's okay.
The real problem is when it becomes a part of your diet.
When it's a normal part of your diet.
When I eat a piece of pizza, my body's like, yo, what are you doing?
I'm like, relax.
We're having a drink.
Have a pizza.
Come on.
And then I don't eat for a while.
Let it clear out of my system.
Then I go back to eat and clean.
But if you have that as a normal part of your life, it's just like all these
things compound, right?
Yeah.
You know, you smoke too many blunts, that compounds.
You, you know, eat too much bad food, that compounds.
Look at that.
Right out of the eye.
Jamie, what are you doing?
Did you post this?
Yeah, a long time ago.
Oh my God.
Look at that.
That's a time of creation.
That is just diabetes in food form.
It just makes me want to feel sick.
Like, I'll take that temporary mouth pleasure for hours of feeling like dog
shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, Joe.
Oh, it feels so good.
Yeah, the bread thing.
Joe, this was the first time in my life I hadn't had hot Cheetos every day.
Would you prefer hot Cheetos over Takis?
Because I know a lot of people are very-
Love Takis.
I'm a, I'm a, that's the black of me, I think, because I'm a hot Cheeto.
Mexicans love the Takis.
They love the Takis.
You know, I really like them crunchy Cheetos, some little tinier ones, the more
crunchy ones.
What are those called?
To me, those are the regulars, and then you got the Puffs.
I'll fuck with a Puff.
Oh, I thought of, when I think of Cheetos, I always think of Puffs.
Interesting.
I think of the ones you're thinking of, the little ones that are, like, harder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like those.
Yeah.
I've had them every day of my life, Joe, until you said, hey, let's do the carnivore
diet.
I'm fucking 33.
That's ridiculous.
That's ridiculous.
You should be eating that.
You know Fritos, those little corn chips?
Yeah.
We use those to start a fire in Alaska.
We were camping.
We were camping.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of the dudes that works for my friend, Steve Rinella, told us that they're
very flammable.
I'm like, really?
And so we used that to start a fire.
We were in Prince Edward's Island, which is Prince of Wales Island?
Which one?
Prince Edward's?
Which one's the one in Alaska?
Prince Edward's.
Prince of Wales.
What is that?
I don't even know if that's a real place.
Prince Edward's, right?
The island is a Canadian province.
Oh.
What's the one in Alaska?
Might be right next to Alaska, though.
No, it's not.
That's the complete opposite side.
What is the one that's in Alaska?
What was the other one you said?
It's not Prince Edward's Island?
No, that one's near Maine.
Really?
That's what the map said.
Fuck.
I can't remember the island.
Anyway, the island in Alaska.
Well, Google it because it's one of the most rainy places on Earth.
Brian Callen and I did a TV show from there.
With Mediator, but it rained for seven, eight days.
Whatever the fuck we're there for.
It rained every day.
Prince of Wales Island.
What's that?
Prince of Wales.
Okay, it's Prince of Wales.
It rained every day.
And one day, it didn't rain for like 10 hours.
And we're like, dude, we're going to start a fucking fire.
We're going to figure out how to start a fire.
And so we got like sticks and shit like that's under everything else.
So everything got rained on.
Oh, is there a video of it?
Not you guys.
Oh.
Somebody else doing it.
Yeah, because we didn't film us doing this.
But Fritos are so covered in life-stealing oil that they act like a fire
starter, man.
Look at this.
They're great fire starters.
Like if you want to barbecue and you don't want to go buy.
You ever seen those things, tumbleweeds?
You know what a tumbleweed is?
No, sir.
Tumbleweeds are these little, it's like little shaved pieces of wood that's
like bundled up together and they must be soaked in some kind of flammable
liquid.
But if you want to start like a grill, you put one of those bitches down and
then you put some sticks around that and light that little tumbleweed and woo,
you're good to go.
Yeah.
And then you start stacking logs.
Ooh.
Yeah, but you can use Fritos instead.
That's my point.
You don't need those tumbleweeds.
Probably won't be as flammable, but that shit can't be good.
And I'm eating that shit?
Fritos are delicious.
They're fucking great.
Put a little chili on them.
Come on, plug the chili powder with them.
Ooh.
What are those chilis where people add Fritos?
They add Fritos to the chili.
People do that all the time.
Yeah, I like that.
I like the crunch.
A little crunch is good.
Just full experience, right?
A little bit of the tangy, the spicy, a little cheese in there.
Yo, how the fuck are you not fat, dog?
You got it in you.
You're supposed to be fat as shit.
Bro, it's just discipline.
I get fat.
I'm pretty lean right now.
Now I'm under 200, which is rare.
Wow.
I'm like 197, which is nice.
But I've just been real clean on the diet the last few weeks.
The last few weeks, I started getting a little fat.
I started feeling a little bit of this, and I started paranoid.
My gut starts sticking out.
I would get it straight to the gut because I have pretty thick abs, too.
Yeah.
So any fat that goes on top of this shit right here.
It's a barrel.
Yeah, it gets gross.
And it pokes out right here.
Yeah.
And it just starts looking gross.
I just see weakness.
When I see myself in the mirror, I'm like, you weak, bitch.
You weak, bitch.
You can't stop eating spaghetti.
I eat so much food, bro.
Yeah.
I eat so much food.
It's crazy how much I eat.
I'm a glutton, like a real glutton.
Man, I've seen you put it down, brother.
Bro, I'll eat two pizzas.
I'll eat two pizzas.
I'll eat that whole pizza.
There's another one right there.
It's warm.
Is it warm?
I'll just go right in on that pizza.
I'm not hungry.
I'm not hungry.
It's just gluttony.
I've seen you take down so many Golden Tiger burgers, dog, when you get going.
Bro, that one time we went out, I ate four of them.
I ate four double cheeseburgers.
Gordon Ryan was freaking out.
Gordon Ryan was like, how the fuck are you eating?
I'm like, dude, when I get going, the wolf comes out.
Oh, yeah.
The wolf just wants to keep eating.
I got to keep that motherfucker in his cage.
Yeah, you can go, bro.
That's my favorite, Joe.
When Joe starts drinking in the green room.
When Joe starts drinking in the green room.
Oh, you get going, baby.
We start talking shit.
Oh, it's the best.
You start dancing.
Oh, bro, it's over.
Who has more fun than us?
Who has more fun than us?
Nobody, bro.
But we're in there dancing.
We're dancing like all the time.
No self-consciousness.
Everybody's just having a good time.
Oh, it's my favorite.
God, it's the best place in the world.
Oh, the music's going.
Oh, the tunes are going.
And everybody's going up.
And you're coming in from a set.
And you're coming in.
Everybody's already dancing.
And shitting on Brian for saying something crazy.
You know, Tony's just roasting him.
And you're dying.
And you're like, this is the best night of my life, bro.
I love when Brian comes off stage and he walks in the room and he goes, whoo.
Because, you know, he just laid it down.
Oh, my God.
Whoo.
Bro, when he was doing that WAP bit, when he really tightened up that bit, when
it was just a...
That bit was just assassination.
That bit was one of those bits where I would go out there and just sit and
watch it.
I watched it like, shit.
Watch that bit 50 times.
Yeah.
I just want to see that bit.
I would ask him, are you going to close with what?
Are you going to close with what?
He wouldn't even know what he calls with.
I wouldn't.
He goes, ah, the bit's like 11 minutes long.
He's like, please, please, just do it for me.
It would be his whole set.
It would be his whole set.
But it murders.
It murders so hard.
And it's so good.
It's like, that's such a quintessential Brian Simpson bit.
Yeah.
Because it's clever.
It's ridiculous.
It's historical.
He talks about him.
It gives you real facts.
Yeah.
It's so smart.
And it's about WAP.
And it's full circle.
It's about pussy.
Yeah, there's science involved.
He explains times how you multiply shit.
Yeah.
You know, like, oh my God, it's genius.
Yeah, it's such a good bit.
There's certain bits where you hear the bit,
you go, God damn, that's a good bit.
It's like Shane Gillis' Navy SEAL bit.
God damn, that's a good bit.
You know, my favorite of his bits, though, I think,
is the George Washington bit for that very reason.
Yeah, the teeth, bro.
Well, it's also because it's interesting and it's hilarious.
And you know, like, that's a bit that took some time.
That's not a bit that the first time you do it on stage,
you get that product.
Yes.
You know, like, Tony has a few jokes that the very first time
he does them on stage, they murder, and it's done.
Yeah.
It's done.
But, like, that Shane's bit about George Washington,
that's a long bit, man.
That bit is complex.
There's a lot of twists and turns.
Yeah, bro.
And just the angles he t