Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2162 - Tim Dillon
Uploaded: 2024-06-11T17:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2162 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2162 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-11. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2162 - Tim Dillon

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Dude, I get it now.
You get it.
I get it.
I get the whole thing.
You see how powerful you feel?
Yeah, you feel like you can talk shit, like you're in another dimension.
All the things that you do, like working out and succeeding, you don't need to
really do
a lot of that, if you put these on, you get a lot of the effects of being a
trained fighter
and all that crap.
If you just put these on, you kind of get the idea of that until someone calls
you out and
kills you.
Yeah, you got to avoid actual conflicts.
You got to run away.
But you do feel superior to people.
Oh, for sure.
Like you have a suit on or something.
Yeah, it keeps you away.
There's a distance between you and other people now.
That must be why celebrities wear them when they go out.
Probably.
You know, like we'll see like at concerts or UFC fights, you'll see celebrities
with full
on sunglasses.
Interesting.
Yeah.
They're like a cat hiding underneath a chair and the tail's hanging out.
It's like, you can't see me, but I can see you, stupid.
Yeah.
No, people, they do give you some, and a lot of people, I guess, are on drugs.
Yeah, that's probably why.
And then their eyes are bugged out of their head.
I just think they're trying to avoid eye contact with people because then
people are trying
to give them a script.
Yeah, I think that's true.
They just don't, they want to be left alone.
Yeah.
I mean, if you want to be left alone in public, maybe that's the only way to do
it.
You just got to put these things.
You got to wear these things.
And they're getting bigger and bigger.
These are so huge.
They're crazy.
This is like a rich lady who gets out of a car with a small dog.
They're crazy and you wear them.
And when I got them, I got them as a joke, but then you just keep doing it.
Because they're good.
Because they're good.
They're actually fun.
And people come up to you and say nice things about the sunglasses.
Which is weird.
Which is weird.
They'll go, these sunglasses are really cool.
And like cool people, like black people.
You know what I mean?
Like a black guy will go, those shades are cool.
And I'll go, that's great.
Like if a guy like me says it, it means nothing.
I would throw them out.
But.
Well, it was for, this is like a bad sunglasses from the 80s.
Yeah.
Like what Brian Bosworth used to wear.
Do you remember the Boz?
I don't.
He was the guy who was famous for his sunglasses.
He was a big time football player.
Interesting.
He was one of those, you know, every now and then one of those fellas, like,
what's his name?
The one that's dating Taylor Swift?
Travis Kelsey.
That guy.
Like when one of those guys breaks through.
Yeah.
When he becomes famous, that was the Boz.
Oh, wow.
See?
Those are, I mean, those are corny as shit in 2000.
But here we are in 2024.
They're back.
Invest in bell bottoms, kids.
They're absolutely back.
They're absolutely back.
Yeah.
Yeah, he had a mullet too.
Everything comes back.
Mullets are back.
Yeah.
Mullets are back.
Theo probably helped with that.
Yeah, big time.
Lesbians.
Lesbians, Theo.
And lesbians.
There's not enough new ideas.
You got to recycle certain ideas.
After a while you go, the Mohawk's not that bad.
Yeah, of course.
What's the problem?
Everything was baggy and then everything was tight and then now everything's
getting baggy again.
Yeah.
The ladies are wearing baggy pants.
A lot of people are wearing baggy stuff, but then that'll probably swing.
Yeah, I thought the whole ideal of the tight pants is to show your body.
That's what it's for, right?
For sure.
Yeah.
What happened, ladies?
I don't know.
Why'd you go baggy?
Something happened.
I don't get it.
Go back to the tight stuff.
Yeah.
That looks better.
Well, they feel no one can objectify them if they wear a bag.
Yet they'll go to the gym in yoga pants that are so thin, you could literally
read braille through them.
Right.
And you see your full vagina just hanging out.
And a lot of these gals are not wearing panties because they don't want the
line.
I don't want them to be in line.
So they have just raw pussy covered by yoga pants out there in the wild.
We're kind of lucky as comedians to wear pretty much, we don't, like you dress
up in a suit for UFC and for other stuff.
Yeah.
But most of us don't.
Yeah, you don't, I don't mind a suit.
I like it.
I wear, if I have to go somewhere special.
Yeah.
Throw a suit on.
Right.
You know, I don't mind it.
Sebastian's into it.
Boy, that guy.
They wear it.
I saw Seinfeld at Gotham.
He's in it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
People wear them.
Mulaney wears one.
Yeah, they like to wear them.
It gives you a certain, you feel like you're,
some sort of an expert.
For sure.
You know, you're, you're definitely better than the guy in the hoodie.
Yes.
The guy in the hoodie is a fucking idiot.
I agree.
But I'm the guy in the hoodie and I agree with that.
Yeah, I agree too.
Like when I see Seinfeld, I go, I agree that you are.
And it's, it's, you know, it's not even fashion.
He's better in every way.
I wear hoodies three days a week.
It's fun to wear a hoodie and jeans.
Yeah, it's casual.
It's a great loose.
I feel comfortable.
It's a great thing to just.
Soft.
And to be able to make money in a hoodie is great.
Yes.
That's the cool thing about it.
To have, to have jeans on and go, I'm going to make money in a hoodie and jeans.
I think that's what John Fetterman was getting into when he went into the
Congress.
That's what he was doing.
Look, if I'm going to be rich now.
Yeah.
I'm going to dress like, like what I would dress like if I was like Rick Rubin.
He's kind of an interesting guy now because now he's starting to make sense,
which is strange.
Yeah, what the fuck is going on?
Did the stroke knock some sense into him?
I don't know what happened, but he's like actually coming out of the gate with
some like very rational things.
Yeah.
Hot, good takes on everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On everything.
And I'm like, if that's what Sweatpants does, let's do it.
I wonder if like when we, when he was running, he was recovering from the
stroke.
And so that was why he would have those moments where his brain would sink off
and we'd be like, this guy's fucked.
He can't be a senator.
Right.
But maybe what it really is, is it just takes a while for everything to come
back and now it's all back.
Right.
And now he's making sense.
Because I haven't seen any of those videos since of him.
You know, there was a few videos where it was like me, if I eat like a 500
milligram edible.
He was out of it for a period of time.
Yeah, he was gone.
He was, he was in this place where it just didn't make sense what he was saying.
Yeah.
But now he's back and it feels like, from my perspective, that the things he's
saying are pretty logical.
What a crazy political move.
Yeah.
Recover from a stroke publicly.
Right.
While in the middle of a campaign.
In a sweatsuit.
Against a guy who's famous.
Right.
And still win.
And still win.
And then get progressively better and make more sense.
Because our guy, that's the president, is getting worse and Fetterman's getting
better.
I'm of the opinion, and I think you are too, that Biden doesn't exist.
I believe...
It could be the first AI thing.
I think he's a living human being.
Don't get me wrong.
But there's nothing there.
It doesn't exist.
It's not there.
I don't think there's a question about this.
Right.
So everything around him is what's supporting the country, which is kind of
crazy.
Right.
It kind of shows you that the system kind of works.
Sure.
You know, when you got a guy like that, it's a great kind of stress test to see
what happens.
Yeah.
When you get a guy that's just going...
And also, how much you can gaslight people into voting for him again.
Yes.
How much you can gaslight people into voting for the people around him again,
is what it
really is.
The people you don't even know.
Like this mysterious cabal of humans that's actually running the country.
Well, it's such a weird thing, because he came out of the State of the Union.
He was pretty good, but he was heavily drugged.
Like something...
And you might know more than I know about certain types of things that you can
do.
Like what...
You've had all these doctors on and stuff.
Is there a way to make that guy like that for the debates?
Is he going to be able to...
Because no, he wasn't great.
What I would recommend is I would find...
I would time it correctly, right?
So I'd recommend that he got lots of sleep.
I would cut all the ice cream out of his diet for several days.
All the bullshit out of his diet.
Then I would give him NAD infusions and IV vitamin infusions multiple days in a
row.
Like three or four days in a row.
Yeah.
Then the day of, I would make sure that he eats really well, gets a lot of
sleep.
And then I would fill him up.
I'd fill him up with Adderall.
I'd give him testosterone.
I would give him human growth hormone.
I'd give him nootropics.
I'd give him everything that we know that creatine helps with...
It actually does a lot.
No, I'm sure it just...
Creatine is a cognitive enhancer.
I'm thinking of him getting all these injections in that skin.
Creatine is just supplement.
Just that purple skin from all the marks.
Oh, God.
That skin that's just wound so thin.
It's spun so thin on his body.
All of the bruising from all of these needles of stuff that they need to shoot
him up with to just be coherent for an hour.
Isn't it crazy?
Like when Obama was president, the worst they could get on him is, remember
when he wore that tan suit?
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
He never had a single moment publicly where he stumbled, where he said
something really stupid.
It's like...
This is insane.
It's insane.
It's much worse than even, you know, remember George W. Bush?
Mm-hmm.
And he would, like, you know, say silly things.
Yeah.
This is, like, so far down the road from that.
It's so far down the road.
It's so far down the road that it's, like, I think it's elder abuse.
I really do.
I mean, if it was any other job, it would be elder abuse.
Yeah.
If there was a guy who was running the corner grocery store and his family was
making him run it and he was that old and they had money, you'd be like, what
the fuck are you doing to your dad?
Yeah.
Why are you making your dad work?
Your dad's out of it.
Yeah.
Why would you do...
Yeah.
There was a guy in New York, this legendary guy, Dom, who ran this pizzeria
called De Farah's, which is, like, widely thought of as the best pizza in New
York.
And he was so old.
And at the very end, he was just over the pie with the oil and cutting basil.
And it was like, you felt bad because the pie was amazing.
But you're watching a guy at the end of his life.
Making pizza.
Making pizza.
Very old.
And he would struggle.
He'd put it in the thing.
It was hard.
It was like, you kind of gasped.
And that's what we have now, except it's with Russia.
But however, if I went to a pizza place and there's a guy who loves making
pizza so much that here he's fucking dying.
Right.
It's his last days.
He's still, I'm going to make you a nice pie.
Yes.
I'm going to make you a nice pie.
And he fought.
He must love the fact that his pizza is awesome.
Yes.
He loved it.
If you make good food, it's probably a lot like killing.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
Like you kill on stage.
Everybody loved it.
Great.
We had a great time.
Thank you.
I'm so happy you guys had fun.
You don't wonder what the reward is for Biden.
Like, is it even fun?
It can't be fun.
It can't be fun.
Why does he even want to do this?
That guy making that pizza, when someone folds a slice of that pie and goes, oh
my God.
They're into it.
It's like they're killing.
And that guy goes, I've made all of these people happy.
Yes.
But this guy, I mean, this just came out in the Wall Street Journal where they're
saying that he's like showing signs like behind closed doors.
Wait, what are you saying?
I know.
It's shocking.
This is crazy.
It's shocking.
It's what?
Whe