Name: JRE Fight Companion - June 22, 2024
Uploaded: 2024-06-22T23:05:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE Fight Companion - June 22, 2024' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE Fight Companion - June 22, 2024' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-22. Transcript available.

JRE Fight Companion - June 22, 2024

trapped i don't like being trapped in this apple ecosystem and i'll tell you
something
this phone live we live yay i don't give a fuck this phone does so much more
first of all the
anti-glare the the fact that the screen doesn't have it has anti-glare on it so
much better
outside crystal clear you read everything crystal clear i fucking love this
circle to search thing
so like if you have a cool pair of sneakers on i can take a photo of them do a
little circle of it
on my phone and immediately pops up on google all the places to buy it damn it
shows you what things
yes dude it here's another one my notes like um say if i do a um like a a show
and i record it it will
transcribe the entire set and it will summarize it for that's pretty gangster
what yes it'll summarize
it for me it also will summarize websites so if there's a website you know oh
what's going on in
russia some crazy is happening i'd say summarize that for cliff notes it summarizes
it for you
god damn dude and apple doesn't do any of that no not yet not yet fantastic
camera the cameras have
always been better right they've always been better it's hard to say better
because i have both i'm
gonna tell you something they're both awesome it's better at certain stuff the
iphone camera is
awesome let's be honest though you've never taken a picture of an iphone like i
wish it was better
nope never never no one's a professional photographer but if you are like one
of those
crazy professional photographers one thing this does do is it zooms way better
way better the zoom
is crystal clear you can read a sign like way in the distance where i've zoomed
in with this and i can
see it but i can't read the letters and then with this phone with the samsung i
see the letters crystal
clear i think the iphone is a better camera for just whipping it out and taking
a picture but you
can do more with the android do you have i don't even know if it's a better
camera for taking it out
whipping a picture i think they're equal yeah i think for taking it out
whipping a picture it's equal
but this thing has so many more options there's all these options he's always
shown me about like i have
to go where is that it's in the settings like if you're not into around with
things get an iphone but
if you're like me and you're like really into tech stuff androids but also
shoot like the with the
the apple with the iphone they have like the um the thing we can like shoot and
cut and edit that
has all that oh you can have the handheld thing because i don't like my crew
like when we're filming
whatever car stuff whatever it is outside they'll just have a handheld with a
with the iphone yeah
yeah yeah yeah and they knock it out my god damn man you do all that not only
that this has pro
features like you could you could set it in pro mode and you have way more
options in terms of like
how how you film it like what the images look like and it's just way more
adjustable can the uh
government track you on that one too oh yeah they tried getting everything all
right that's all
you you're never getting away from the government i don't even believe in
signal
i've been talking to these people on like the guy moxie who made signal what's
the matter
my glass smells funny your glass smells funny what are you talking about i just
smell something i smell
this smell like whiskey no i mean i smell it like an old whiskey it smells like
soap like like dirty
water yeah sometimes it smells like plasma something weird you're out of your
mind it smells like whiskey
no no no outside the whiskey you're crazy we have an awesome dishwasher it
smells uh
maybe size i mean i got the bloodhound nose is your nose that good yeah really
has it always been like
even as a smoke yeah it runs in the family oh wow you guys just have bloodhound
noses huh
that's interesting i'm always the first one to smell something bro when i got
my nose when i got my uh
my deviated septum fix i could smell way better i was like oh my god forever
though because i got mine
fixed and it just it's whatever i think you're just accustomed to it in the
beginning was it better
oh night and day difference yeah in the beginning when you first get it fixed
and you have the
all the bandage up there they take the stitch out and pulled out you're like
oh my god i didn't get my nose fixed until i was 40 years old for 40 years i
had a shattered nose with
just the whole inside of it was blocked it was nothing i had like one quarter
of one nostril
that was useful and that surgery is real fun isn't it better well look at uh dricus
duplices yes
because i called when his coach was like he's only breathing eight percent i'm
like come on
man that's what he's you know it's ridiculous but i was like come on that's not
a cardio thing
and they're like wait do you see him in this next fight his cardio is gonna be
better way better my
cardio was way better my cardio was at least 10 better when i got my nose fixed
because you could
breathe out of your nose like if you can't breathe out of your nose especially
if you're doing jujitsu
and your mouth is getting covered all the time you're like all you have is your
mouth to breathe
out and also as a fighter breathing out of your mouth is trouble yeah because
your jaw is open
you can get rocked easier for two years i walked around like this pulling my
nose so i could breathe
that's why i got that you got a hunker on your mind my operation went bad did
you ever get those
things that stick did they work do they do anything well so they put them in
there for the first 12
no the house theo you theo has them on at all hours of the day he's so crazy he's
so funny he'll just
show up one day at the studio i'm like where the you don't wear on the studio
he's like yeah man i need
to breathe all right he's like you ever tried i'm like no hickson used to roll
with those on
they work speaking of which where's the smelling salts oh we got them it's your
first companion
huh you ready to go back in brian had the funniest reaction ever to smelling
salts because we opened up
a fresh ah one of the fresh ones and as soon as he opened up he threw his
headphones off and ran out
of the room if you do it now there's not a lot of room to run you're going to
have to have it don't run
we got a freshie oh this one hasn't been open nothing better thank you what do
you mean you're
getting in bro i hate those things of course you hate it everybody hates it i
hate it too but i'm
gonna i'm about to do it let's you gotta do it this is so strong this is so
strong look it's sealed okay
i just broke the seal you can still get it the the lid of the thing is sealed
as well and you still
you smell it through that ah you that's not through that that's not the real
deal but look i want you
why don't you see look that's just foreplay buddy it's still sealed yeah god
yeah still sealed that
shit's powerful is that the same one oh yeah yeah that's the same level yeah
but this is how you
want to get them you want to get them fresh like right when you said that's not
the real deal oh this
is the real deal no the real did once he opened it's the real deal him smell it
through the bottle
that's some the bag smell the bag just the bag
yeah it takes me back takes you back so look now i'm going to break the seal
get ready boys it's still sealed oh my god yeah the top is sealed get ready
boys oh yeah here we go
this fires me up here we go oh my god i'm smelling it from here oh
no get in there b get in there yeah yeah oh my goodness oh my goodness
i'll tell you what that wakes you up before our show we have it in the green
room we pop a little
sniff before you go on stage oh i leave in my garage everywhere before i get
out head to work really
oh yeah i got problems you're all in have you uh had these the lucy's the breakers
no oh these are
good they're eights you know people are constantly sending us same thing lucy's
have eights and they
have like a little mint thing in it when you uh you chew it the mint thing
breaks it tastes good in
your mouth eight milligrams eight milligrams yeah yeah 24 how many you have in
there four his blood
pressure is very high no it's it's good you have 24 milligrams in your mouth i
go through two cans a
day dog what are you using which one like buffalo oh my god maniac good lord
yeah yeah you push you
push the envelope yeah that's a not that's not even an envelope anymore you got
a satchel
the direction say the direction say to keep it a foot away from your face shut
the
up pussy
i got right in there i had to get in there the first time you did it bro you
got it up to your nose
you put it like an inch from your nose and took a deep swig i think i damaged
my my sinuses pure
pressure works like a mother says do not use more than a few times a day i was
like i'm not doing
that i would never i said don't one sniff don't be a i'll try it yeah well he
just saw how fun it is
that's a good time that was like the last time i'm gonna hurt you i go i'm just
gonna microdose and
you like pushed over a giant piece of chocolate i was like i was like i think
that might be a little
you're like don't be a bitch i was like okay i was texting you from the plane i
can't negotiate my
plane scene hand me the lucy man one one ain't gonna do it for a trial there
thank you i think
there's one more in there that's the same flavor you gave me you don't want you
already have 24 yeah
that's the same flavor i i took the 24 out because i don't mix flavors well now
you get 16. so you'll
have two of those it'll be 16. just see if your heart will stop yeah lucy's it
for people who are
talking but i like it better than zin a lot better because zin gives you this
weird flavor in your
mouth and it makes a hiccup yeah it doesn't seem good so i like you know there's
another one called i
think that's empty i think there's another one called uh athletic thc that i
really like i mean not
athletic thc uh athletic nicotine so how long have you been doing nicotine um
like a year why because
it's good for your brain fires you up man it's it's good as like a nootropic it
actually helps your
brain it helps cognitive performance the real problem is cigarettes cigarettes
are not good
but the nicotine is actually good for your brain a lot of great books were
written on cigarettes oh
yeah yeah nicotine is great yeah yeah we'll see that stephen king said when he
stopped smoking
cigarettes is one of the biggest issues like stopping cocaine and drinking was
fine but
cigarettes like he was like boo his books got super boring they didn't they
weren't as good he said he
he doesn't remember writing cujo that's why it's so good yep and then he said
this he came he came
his wife came in and she said you know she started cleaning up cans and he goes
god i kept cans everywhere
because how long when's the last time we cleaned this place and she goes and it
was literally the
whole place was covered with beer cans and she goes this is the past three days
and he was like i'm
drinking a lot he didn't even realize it yeah well damn if you want to be good
yeah you want to really
write the kind of that he wrote when he was young you gotta push that motherfucking
um well he can't
do anything in moderation no he said he actually in his book said i was a very
creative guy who had
a substance abuse problem it's not that i had a substance abuse problem and
therefore i was creative
he said don't get it twisted because i always had a great imagination but i
just like yeah i don't know
i'm i am of a belief that it helps you i really am i'm not but i do think that
it's a personality
type so michael hand in hand right with an extreme sort of you know it all
comes together
maybe maybe people think it opens up doors in your imagination that will stay
closed
yep you can't get there but it depends on what drug right i don't know about
yeah i mean i've never
with cocaine but he was a big cocaine user and like the shining was all on
cocaine great movie
the book is insane unbelievable he didn'