Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2202 - Tom Segura
Uploaded: 2024-09-16T17:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2202 - Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2202 - Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2202 - Tom Segura

Yeah, I've watched so many people get their legs broken, and I see it in jiu-jitsu
videos
all the time where someone's going for a heel hook and then you hear this crack,
and the
guy screams in agony, and then everybody's like, oh, this is horrible.
Yeah, and the arm, just a million arm wrestling videos.
I saw a guy and a girl arm wrestling, and the guy broke the girl's arm.
I'm like, what the fuck, man?
Fuck, I was just like, how does that, because I don't want to do it ever again,
really.
Arm wrestling?
No, I think it's stupid, but for me to get involved in, but even when I'm just
like, well,
why is this happening?
And there was two, these two competitors, like pro arm wrestlers, were like,
well, you never
want to get away from your body.
So they're like, arms break once they're out here.
So you always, they're like, keep your arm in tight.
Like, arms don't break when you're here.
Right.
But once you get extension, they're like, that's when-
It's the dumbest macho thing that we do.
For sure.
I did it with you once.
I did it with you in Louisville.
Do you remember?
No.
It was a horrifying experience.
It was, it was after, we did a show in Louisville at the club.
I think it was tied to a old, like a UFC.
Oh, okay.
One of those.
Yeah.
It was back in the day.
And we went to a bar afterwards and we're shooting pool.
Somebody said arm wrestling.
I was like, and you're like, you want to do it?
I was like, sure.
Dude, I couldn't believe how strong you were.
I mean, I know you're strong, but I was like, you're like, go.
And I was like, I am going, dude.
Like, I couldn't get any fucking movement.
Well, you're fucking, that dude that works for you.
That was the most ridiculous.
That was hilarious.
That was-
Do you think he just does that because he just wants attention?
No.
I think, I mean, there might be a little bit of that, but I really think, that's
any.
He has this thing.
It's probably just, you know, it's part of his wiring.
It's probably gotten him somewhere in life in some ways where he just goes-
Just being delusional.
Being delusional about, I can't lose.
Like, if somebody says I can beat you, they can't beat me.
And you're like, what are you talking about?
And then when you were pulling up, I was like, why don't you fucking ask him?
Because I already knew what was going to happen.
And then he also loves to gamble.
I was like, yeah, I'll take that action.
So, yeah, that's any.
But he's not even a strong guy.
That's why it was so confusing.
I was looking at him, like, you want to arm wrestle?
Like, you're not even a strong guy.
Like, you don't, like, there's probably a lot of things you could do better
than me.
But this one-
This one you got.
This is silly.
This one's silly.
It is funny how our capacity for delusion is just incredible.
It can serve you well if you get lucky, right?
Yeah, I think the two things I think about one of my friends was diagnosed with
stage four lung cancer.
And he found out at stage four, right?
Like, had to go to the hospital.
Like, his wife was like, you're fucking sweating and you're, you know, heavy
breathing.
It was after one of my shows.
And so, they go and then the next day, they're like stage four lung cancer.
And all the doctors were like, you know, say goodbye to your friend, you know?
And his brother found a, the expert, like, in this specific type of, because,
you know, there's in oncology, like, really specialized types of cancer and
treatment.
And I remember talking to him and he was like, you know, I'm going to beat this
thing.
And I was looking at him and I was like, like, you're so stupid, you know, like,
like, you're definitely going to die.
And, but the thing is, I saw that he believed it, a thousand percent believed
it.
Yeah.
And as he got better, I was like, this guy's fucking delusion is serving him in
this.
Like, I think most people, like, I remember when my uncle got a mesothelioma
and he was like a high level urologist at the Mayo Clinic.
And I remember when I was talking to my dad about it, he was like, yeah, he's
too, he's too smart to, he can read the labs.
He knows what he has.
Like, he, he's too smart to, to go like, I'm going to beat this thing.
You know what I mean?
Like, you're, you're just so well versed.
But is it a delusional thing or has that guy had other success in life because
he's just super determined?
I mean, he, he's certainly a determined guy and, and successful in what he does.
But what's up, big head Steve.
Yo, big head Steve.
It was your biggest, but I really was like, I credited this guy's, like, I, it
felt like a level of delusion to believe you were going to survive this.
Right, but if he's correct and he was correct, then it's not delusional.
Correct, correct, yes.
Right, which is kind of crazy.
It is kind of crazy.
But the doctors were like, you're dead.
And what if he just decides I'm dead and he starts freaking out or maybe he
goes to Oregon and gets assisted suicide.
And so many people go down that path, right?
But you're right.
They're whacking people left and right up in Canada.
Yeah.
If you're depressed, like, you're not feeling good, come on in.
Sign up.
Fucking sign up for the program.
We'll get rid of you.
Where else is that?
That just kill you.
In Europe, in, in the Netherlands, don't they do that?
Somewhere else.
I don't know.
I'm sure.
I'm sure it's other countries, but it's a recent thing in Canada where they're
just whacking people.
I didn't know they were doing that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, Google it.
Google it.
Because this is something you'll actually find on Google.
It's like it's assisted suicide in Canada.
The other delusion that I – because I just watched the Scott Peterson.
Is that the Lacey Peterson?
Yes.
So is that one – is the new one where people are saying maybe he didn't kill
her?
No, it's essentially – it's fantastic.
It's on Netflix.
I think it's a three-part docu-series.
And it begins with – because, you know, it's like this reminder.
It was 20 years ago.
Right.
You know, time just – you're like, oh, shit.
What was that story?
How did that one go?
So that one –
Canada's controversial medically-assisted death program is fastest-growing in
the world.
Damn.
Since suicide became legal in Canada, the number of deaths have grown each year.
So this is August.
So this is just last month.
So what is it saying in terms of the numbers?
The most recent data shows 13,241 people in 2022.
Wow.
That's quite a jump.
That's a jump, bro.
So 2022 is 13,000.
Who knows what 2023 and 2024 is?
Oh, man.
They're whacking people up there.
That's pretty wild.
You feeling good?
Come on in.
Come in.
Come in.
What, you got foot hurt?
My leg hurts.
I just – get in here.
Get in here.
Fuck life.
Fuck life.
That's a great tap-out.
Fucking option.
It's great.
I mean, what is this?
Is this like – I mean, is it a kind of eugenics?
Like, what is it?
What is it?
I mean, you could say it's being compassionate.
And in some cases, like Michael Lehrer, you know, he went to Oregon.
Yes.
But Michael Lehrer was – his body was failing so horribly.
He couldn't talk anymore.
That was ALS?
Yes.
Wasn't that the same thing that ravaged that – what was the famous woman that
it was
a huge international case here?
Do you remember?
Terri Schiavo?
Terri Schiavo?
Was it Terri Schiavo?
Right.
I don't know if she had the same thing.
But she had this horrible, debilitating disease.
Yeah.
And you're still alive.
And at the end, he – like, it kept getting worse and worse.
It wasn't getting better.
So he went to Oregon to do it.
He actually went to Oregon once and then changed his mind and came back.
And when you sign up for that in Canada, can you just go, like, that's just
what I want?
It doesn't matter?
I don't know.
I don't know what the rules are.
But I know that some people are very upset about it because you're taking
people that maybe
you could talk to them off the ledge.
Yeah.
Maybe they could have got better.
Maybe with some love and some friendship and some counseling and some therapy.
That they wouldn't take that option.
Yeah.
Maybe they'd be happy.
Yeah.
I've met – I've known quite a few people that have taken their own life.
Yeah.
I know a few that have done it, too.
And it's always super sad.
I mean, because I don't know anybody that's done it, with the exception of
Michael, I don't
know anybody that's done it in the case of, you know –
Like a medically assisted.
No.
Michael's the only one that I know about that.
But, you know, there's Brody.
Yeah.
Brody was a hard one.
There's my friend Tony, who's a pool player up in San Francisco.
He jumped off the bridge.
Yeah.
Which is crazy.
There's a spot where everybody goes.
Yeah.
One of my college – I had jobs.
I worked – when I was in college, I worked the whole time.
I had, you know, part-time jobs.
And one of my coworkers did.
It was fucking terrible, man.
Like our boss went to his apartment and found him there.
It was terrible.
You know, for some people, they don't think it's ever going to get better.
I know.
And, you know, and if you don't have support around you, you don't have someone
that you
can – that can pick you up.
And it's crazy how someone can pick you up.
It's crazy how you could be just feeling like total, complete shit.
And someone who cares about you can come over to your house, take you out, have
some laughs.
Yeah.
And you're like, I think I feel better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because we feel better around people.
Yeah.
Some people are super isolated, too.
That's the dangerous one.
Mm-hmm.
And I think one of the things I realized as I got older is you don't realize
how many
people are lonely in this world.
Right.
Like you get older, I'm saying, because you encounter more people and you talk
to people
who – like you realize you have this like full life that you, you know, you
could take
for granted.
Like you have a family, you have friends, you have all these things going on.
And then you meet people who they don't have any of that and they're alone.
There's a lot of those out there right now.
There's a lot of people that are very lonely.
Well, there's also this internet culture, too, right?
So there's people that don't have actual physical contact with anyone.
Yeah.
So all their interaction is with people online.
And so that's a dark place, too.
They're streaming all day and chatting all day on Instagram and jerking off.
And it's madness.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's not a path to fulfillment is isolated online.
No.
And also you don't – sometimes – I don't have it to that degree, but you're
online for
a while on something and then you go into the real world and you're like, oh,
yeah, I'm
like – I was just living in this make-believe place for a while.
Right.
I didn't realize it's not real.
Right.
Right.
You live in this make-believe place and you're not having any of the normal
human contact that
we thrive on.
Right.
All your contact is like this weird, like displaced, not connected.
It's all weird.
Mm-hmm.
Which is like if you go to someone's Twitter profile and you see that they're
online 12 hours
a day just fucking barking at people.
Like a dog.
And it's giving them some charge.
Yeah.
It's like getting an annoying dog next door.
And they're just baiting people all day.
Speaking of baiting, did you watch the debate?
Yeah.
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