Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2224 - Tim Dillon
Uploaded: 2024-11-06T03:12:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2224 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2224 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-06. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2224 - Tim Dillon

It's the end of the world as we know it. How are you feeling?
I'm feeling good. Thank you for having, I heard you were having a problem
getting big guests
and things were not going good and I said hey I'll fly in and I'll help. I'm
always here to help.
Well we were talking about doing a live show at the mothership but then
somebody told a Puerto Rican joke
we're like maybe that's not a good idea. Yeah I mean it was you know it might
have been we don't know
it could have been interesting could have been it would have been fun but yeah
whatever what are you
gonna do? Yeah it's election it's election day. If uh if Trump loses he's on
suicide watch. If Trump
loses we're gonna have to hide him. We're gonna have to pay a cartel to shelter
him for
a period of months or years. Don't take him in Canada. He could just move up to
Canada. Yeah. Sort of change his rhetoric
a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. No if Trump loses it definitely he definitely will
have to. Kind of tone it down.
You know you might have to. Move it around a little bit. Survey the scene. Yeah.
You know. Probably not a lot
of Puerto Ricans in Canada. He could be a hero on the other side though. That's
true. He could just emerge as the
Right. You know. Left wing. Just completely do like a 180. Yeah. Total. I've
seen the light.
Flip the script. Encursivity is super important. Say I did this. Yeah. I'm
perfect. Kamala it was me.
I knew that was gonna happen. Right. That's why I told those jokes. Yeah. Well
the funniest thing is the people
going that he's a Hollywood plant. Oh. Like those people that are like he was a
Hollywood plant. You
know. Yeah. Those people are fucking hilarious. Every now and then I'll come
across a comment.
People think there's some fucking grand conspiracy. Like we're all being. Yeah.
Puppet mastered. Yeah.
Manipulated. It's always Jews. They think the Jews are. The Jews. It always
gets to the Jews. It'll start
somewhere and then goes to the Jews. I forget who told me this but it's like
one of the symptoms of
a collapsing civilization. They start blaming things on Jews. Yeah. It's like
one of them is they get
very obsessed with gender and then the other one is they start blaming Jews. We're
in both of those
right now. The other thing is they make celebrities out of chefs. Like they get
very decadent. This happened
in Rome and there's. Really? Yeah. Like they they like people that provide you
these comforts become
celebrities because you're getting. You're just living so much comfort. You're
living a decadent
lifestyle. I never considered that. So that's one of the things that people say
is like a harbinger
of the apocalypse is like. Celebrity chefs? People just focusing way too much
on like you know artisanal
you know donuts or whatever. My wife likes going to those places where they
serve you like 13 different
things. Yeah. Each one is the size of a quarter. Yeah. I need a steak. It's
very yeah. Bring it all at
once. I'm a glutton. Yeah. I need my food in a large plate. Yeah. I need a just
a giant fucking hunk of
meat. Well it's also so much time. It's like three hours. I can't do it. And
the waiters tell you about
every single thing. And it feels very like indulgent to sit somewhere for three
hours
and then get educated about like where a raspberry came from. Right. You know.
I can take it with the
omakase sushi like Philip Franklin's Lee's place. Sure. That's kind of fun. You
know it's so that you
watch him do it. You watch him like slice it up and put it together. It's kind
of cool. It's fun. Yeah.
Just know what you're in for when you get there. You have conversations. There's
a small amount of
people. Yeah. So you could get to know folks. And a sushi bar is good because
you don't have to talk
that much. Right. When you're directly across somebody for three hours. Ooh.
That's intense. And the
worst is like someone could be in the middle of some fucking horrible story.
And then my mother came
back and it was stage four. Oh. This is a peanut. Right. From Australia. And
the glaze is a demi-glaze
with a South France bourbon. Yeah. And then you have to say thank you. Thank
you so much. Hey you
fuckhead. Yeah. Her mom died. Yeah. You piece of shit. I hate people that ruin
meals with real
discussions about anything. That's depressing. That is a problem. Anybody who
comes out and if there's
money being spent keep it to yourself. Talk about things that we can all get on
board. Nobody
cares. Oh my dad's going to beat it. He's a fighter. Hey hey hey. Not now. Yeah.
Yeah. It's the
emotion dump. That just like what am I supposed to do with all this. Yeah. Now
I have all your
emotions in a pile on my lawn. It's too much. People talk too much about
personal things and then they
expect you to offer them some degree of comfort. Right. What can you do? You
can't do anything.
There's nothing you can do. Keep it to yourself. I'm sorry your sister has
borderline personality
disorder. What is that exactly? Is that real? No. And it's
people that just go around ruining all the relationships in their life. Oh so
they come up
with a mental illness. So it just means you're a piece of shit. Right. Which is
fine and then
there's that so they just say it's board they're borderline. Right because
there's a lot of like
mental things like that that are just sort of patterns that people fall into.
Yeah. Like if you're
rude. You can't medicate a pattern. But can you medicate rudeness? Like some
people are just rude.
They're just not nice. They're not nice to waiters. They'll invent a way the
pharmaceutical industry is such a
profitable thing. They will everything eventually will be a disease. Yeah. I'm
more and more convinced
that ADHD is not real. I think a lot of kids just have a lot of fucking energy
and they're supposed
to be doing other stuff. Yeah. They're not supposed to be sitting at a desk all
day. Put them in the
military. Yeah. Yeah. Let them, you know what I mean? Or let them play video
games professionally.
They seem to sit real fucking still when they're doing that. Absolutely. How
come they're fully engaged
when they play video games? There are people you meet. I have grown friends in
my life that are,
you know, I'm 39 and they're in their late 30s and I'm like the best version of
you is dying in the
Ukraine. You should be a flag on a mantle and we should point to you and go
this, he made the
ultimate sacrifice for freedom. And that's the best version of them. And we don't
have enough wars.
We don't have enough dead people. So well, if we had the winds, we're going to
change that. We are.
If we had more wars, one thing that people would appreciate is the whole
concept of America. Like
if we got attacked, like after 9/11. Yeah. After 9/11, I don't know where you
were, but I was in LA
and the fucking, well, you're a lot younger than me, but the flags on people's
cars were everywhere in
Los Angeles. Right. Which is crazy. It's like everyone was super patriotic. I
was in New York and
it felt, it felt, you know, people get mad when you say this. It was the best
time ever to live
in America. Yeah. After 9/11, it was the warmest time you felt. I never felt
better about the country.
United. Yeah. We felt united. We were compassionate.
We truly loved each other. I think that's how people in Israel feel every day.
Really? Yep. Isn't it so they go through it so much that they're desensitized
to it at this point?
I had a kickboxing coach, my friend Shuki, and he was from Israel and he was
always telling me,
I went over his house for dinner once and him and his wife, they're playing the
bongos and
dancing and shit and having a great time. Right. You always like this? And he
goes,
in Israel, you always worry you're going to die. So every day is party, party.
Right. They might've had a drug problem.
I don't think they were. They weren't even drinking. They were just having a
good time. They were happy
people. But he was like, you have an appreciation for life if you live in a war
zone.
And I think in America where we are so removed from that, that it doesn't seem
real to us.
Right. But you and I have an appreciation for life. We're not in a fucking war
zone.
No. So it's not the only way to have an appreciation for life.
Absolutely. I think you can have an appreciation for life in a myriad of ways.
But I think
one of the downsides of being so relatively safe is that when we talk about war,
it's not real.
Right. Unless you've been there.
Unless you've been there. I have no idea. I have friends that have been there.
And I think we talk
about conflicts all over the world without the intimate knowledge of how hellish
they are.
Right. And how much pain is associated with someone going and fighting and
dying.
Or killing people. Or killing people and being scarred.
Yeah. So one of the things that I think people are waking up to now is that we
can't be everywhere
in every war, fighting everybody, and then just, you know, not recognizing that
that has consequences.
You say that, but if Kamala Harris wins and Liz Cheney takes over the CIA, we
might have a chance.
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Offer applicable for new customers only. 252. 252. They just called it for Kamala.
And I'm excited about it because many of us will be in jail. If you don't get
excited right now,
many of us will go right to jail. Right. It's like when Dear Leader died and
you had to cry for six
months. Yeah. If you didn't cry, they put you in jail. I don't think we should
get nuts with the
counting. If it feels good... If it feels good, let's just do it. If it feels...
To me, the numbers and the
columns and the tabulation kind of is a waste of time. I think we just go with
whatever Joy Reid thinks.
Whatever they want. I mean... Did you see Rachel Maddow calling for Elon Musk
contracts to be
taken away? I didn't, but that's kind of makes sense, I guess, if you're Rachel
Maddow, right?
But it's the most bananas thing ever. You have literally one of the greatest
geniuses in human
history. A guy who's simultaneously landing rockets, not just shooting them,
but landing them,
having them getting caught by robot