Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2249 - Yannis Pappas & Chris Distefano
Uploaded: 2024-12-31T18:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2249 - Yannis Pappas & Chris Distefano' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2249 - Yannis Pappas & Chris Distefano' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2249 - Yannis Pappas & Chris Distefano

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Poison you vomit.
Are we up?
This is Chris DeStefano's very first time ever lighting and smoking a cigar.
How old are you?
40.
How have you managed to get this far with no cigars?
I don't know how to do any really guy shit like that.
I don't know how to play pool, cigars.
I don't really know how to do that.
But I do know every state capital.
Okay.
Is this the right way?
Yeah.
He's going to vomit.
I want to see him vomit.
I don't think he's going to vomit.
Don't inhale it all.
You got to get the fire.
First, you got to lower your hand.
Yeah.
Are you doing this on purpose?
I swear on my kids, I've never done this.
No, no.
I mean, the way you're being retarded.
Like, get the fire on the...
There we go.
Right on there.
Get it on there.
Get it on there.
Get it in there.
There you go.
Yeah, right there.
Yeah.
All right.
You're good.
Just start pulling.
No, you're not good.
How did you fuck that up?
What am I supposed to do?
Smoke it?
You got to inhale while you're lighting it.
All right, come on.
What you want to do is inhale all the smoke in.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
You just kind of keep...
I'm having fun with him.
Breathe in while you're doing that.
Oh, I felt into the thing.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
How do you get to be 40 and never have a cigar?
Well, now he's a man.
Now you're a man.
So what do I do now?
Puff on it.
You puff on it?
It's not even lit.
How did you fuck that up?
I'm sorry, Joe.
You tried to light it for five minutes.
You got to puff on it?
You're going to do this, and you don't...
You just...
You don't inhale.
You just take it into your mouth.
Yeah.
You enjoy the taste of it.
There you go.
Take some little puffs.
Yeah.
This is not going to work out well.
Couple puffs.
Yeah.
He's going to light the whole thing.
There you go.
Now you're good.
Puff.
Puff.
Keep puffing.
Keep it lit.
You want to keep it lit?
There we go.
Giannis knows.
Giannis, when's the first time you smoked a cigar?
I'm sorry.
When I was six years old.
Like a regular person.
Yeah.
Like a regular person.
With my uncle.
You know what it is?
You get to be 40.
No cigars.
I think because my dad never really smoked.
Or anything like that.
It's in the back of...
Don't cry.
Don't start crying.
No, it's in the back of my throat.
My dad never really smoked, and I never really did any, like, man kind of stuff
like this.
And I was with my mom mostly, and she was more, you know...
I don't know the way you said that.
I was like, mom.
It's true.
I know.
Well, it's just I got cigar in the back of my throat.
But I don't know what to do.
I also...
I'm just thinking about how my clothes are going to smell like cigar smoke.
Yeah, no, it really does.
And it's going to mess with your head?
Yeah.
And it messes my head because I'm like, I don't want to get cigar smoke on my
clothes.
Do you use cologne?
Yes.
Shout out Yves Saint Laurent.
Wow.
I have a body odor.
Do you not use cologne?
No.
Never?
No, never.
Maybe when I was, like, 18.
You just go with your natural musk.
Well, I wear deodorant.
Right.
I wear Dr. Squatch.
Shout out Dr. Squatch.
Shout out Dr. Squatch.
Natural.
It doesn't have aluminum in it.
Yeah.
But I wonder if it works as good.
Well, there's more effect.
I think there's something to the aluminum.
Yeah.
Why would they put it in there if it wasn't effective?
No, I tried the deodorant without the aluminum, and it doesn't work.
You can take a sniff of these bits.
Can I take a peek?
Hey, you smell.
Come take a sniff.
Take a smell.
Here, you want me to go on the other side?
Come take a sniff.
They smell good.
Yeah, that's right.
Get in there.
Yeah, they smell good.
Wow.
Not bad.
Yeah.
Not bad, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a...
Dr. Squatch is legit.
I forget which flavor it is.
It's like fucking whiskey, bourbon, musk, some shit.
There's pheromones in natural scents.
They have a bunch of good smells.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a lie.
You don't think so?
I mean, there's pheromones, but natural people smell disgusting.
People that don't wear any deodorant, they always smell funky.
Stinky.
They have like, you know, your pits are...
Think about how it works, right?
It's just getting squashed all the time.
Your pits are just constantly getting squashed, and there's hair in there,
unless you're a weirdo.
Yeah.
So there's hair, and the hair is collecting all the sweat, and it's just
getting funky.
That's what made eating pussy so hard before, like, the 2000s.
Before porn.
Before porn.
But porn used to be muffed out.
Right.
Yeah.
But somewhere along the line, it wasn't, and then society followed.
Yes.
And it changed eating pussy.
I mean, it's so much more enjoyable without any fumes.
Yeah.
Because the fumes get caught in the hair.
Fumare.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stuff goes on down there.
Yeah.
Plus, it's six inches from the asshole.
Yeah.
Not even.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Napoleon's letters to Josephine, he wanted her to have a full bush, and he
wanted her not
to bathe for a week.
When he was coming home for more, he said, I need it, I need it, fucking Mungie.
Right.
So some guys like that.
Mungie.
I don't know, that's a new word.
Well, he was involved in trench warfare.
Right.
That guy had a different tolerance for shit.
Yeah.
You know, you just imagine the kind of warfare that Napoleon's crew were, I
mean, they had
muskets.
And they were also probably much more tolerant of bad smells, because history
smelled.
Can you imagine?
Oh, yeah.
People bathed once a week, and even athlete's foot.
Everybody probably had athlete's foot.
Stinky.
Oh, yeah.
Everyone.
Everyone.
And they didn't have bidets yet.
No.
So your asshole was just like.
They didn't have running water, bro.
Yeah, they didn't have nothing.
They had buckets.
Yeah.
They were shitting in buckets.
The only people who were clean in antiquity, Muslim people, they were the clean
ones.
When you read about the Crusades, they said the Muslims were able to smell the
Christian
army coming from miles away because of how filthy they were, where Muslims were
all about
science and cleansiness and, you know, Dr. Squatch before it was big.
Well, before the Mongols sacked Iraq, like they were, like, that was the pinnacle
of civilization.
They turned the river, was it the river Tigris, they turned it red with blood.
Like, that's how many people they killed.
They killed the entire town of Baghdad.
Like, they killed everybody there.
And those people were at the pinnacle of science.
Yeah.
And then, look, you go all the way to the 1990s and you got fucking Saddam Hussein
and
his psychopathic kids running shit and killing people.
Right.
That was what was left over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Same gene line.
It's really nuts when you think about.
It's into the genes, like, the killer kind of psychopathic.
Yeah.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
Right.
I think good things and bad things get in your genes.
I think that's been substantiated by science.
They said, you know, that even racism can be passed on from parent to child.
That makes sense.
I believe it.
Traumatic memories.
Mm-hmm.
I believe it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like only now as I'm getting older am I like, oh, I have some of my mom's
memories
in my head, I feel like.
Think about it, like, think about, let's think of simpler animals, like animals,
like
dogs, like Carl.
Why, how the fuck does a dog know to pee on a tree?
How does a dog know to go to where pee is and pee on it?
How do they know any of those things?
They're born with it.
Right.
Programmed in.
There's some memory.
How do they know when they see another dog or an animal to bark?
Right.
Why are they scared of it?
Like, what, why are people scared of snakes?
Why are people scared of spiders?
Puerto Ricans are not scared of snakes.
Well, they probably live in Puerto Rico.
Snakes everywhere.
No, I'm saying they take them as household pets.
Yes.
Well, think about Puerto Rico.
My friend Sergio's got eight of them.
Eight snakes.
Yeah.
Sergio might be a problem.
Yeah, Sergio is a problem.
Sergio used to hurt somebody, yeah.
Pets that are snakes.
Sergio used to beat up drug dealers when he was 15 with his fists.
Like, that was, he would get the drug, other drug dealers would pay this 15-year-old
kid to go beat up other drug dealers with his fists on the Lower East Side and
get
money.
But he's a great guy and a spiritual guy, and he's the only guy I know that
would beat
up a drug dealer and then journal about it later because he's in the speech.
How do you know about this guy?
He's our friend.
Yeah.
He's our friend.
He's a comic.
Sergio G. Cohen.
He's a comedian.
He's a comic?
Yeah.
He's a comic and a boxing instructor.
Yeah.
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah, he trains us both.
We're fucking ready.
Yeah.
We're ready to go.
You look thinner, dude.
You really do.
You look healthy.
Thank you.
He does.
You've been boxing?
I've been boxing.
Yeah.
Okay, let me see some moves.
You want to see it for real?
I'll show you form.
I got video of it.
I'll show you form, dude.
Yeah.
He's got a nice...
He made a video today.
I got a video today.
He's got a nice right hand.
He's not...
You say you're slow, but you're not slow.
But you got a nice right hand.
Yeah.
He tells me I got a little power in both hands.
Right.
So, I don't know.
You're a little too confident for my liking.
I know.
I know.
And that's how it goes.
And then you just get fucking stretched out.
Stretched out.
You'll get laid out, cuz.
Yeah, you get stretched out.
You have a smaller head than normal physically.
So, it is hard to catch.
It's harder target.
Yeah, you're fucking target.
I got a big dog.
It looks like you got a helmet on your head.
Listen, the reality is both of you are going to get hit a lot.
100%.
And it's way better to have a big head.
Is it?
Why?
100%.
Guys with bigger heads traditionally, for a fact, take a better shot.
Mm-hmm.
That makes sense.
There's guys like Mark Hunt.
Mark Hunt, one of the greatest kickboxers of all time.
Yeah.
K-1 Grand Prix champion.
Fought in UFC.
Fought in pride.
He's a legend.
Head the size of this table.
Yeah.
Body, dad bod.
Brock Lesnar, head the size of this table.
Yeah.
He was just Samoan.
Yeah.
Just a giant, thick dude.
He was like 5'10", 250.
Yeah.
Right.
You know, but one of the greatest chins of all time in all of combat sports.
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