Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2329 - Ehsan Ahmad
Uploaded: 2025-05-29T17:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2329 - Ehsan Ahmad' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2329 - Ehsan Ahmad' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2329 - Ehsan Ahmad

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Oh, hey, fella.
What's up?
What's going on, man?
Good, good.
It's good to see you.
Good to be back.
Yeah, brother.
I've had a few interesting days just chilling and relaxing and trying to stay
off the news,
man, and then this morning someone sent me a video of Bridget McCrone, McCrone's
wife,
fucking face slapping him.
Yeah, that's wild, dude.
My favorite is the look into the camera once he realizes I got caught.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like, oh, and he's like, it's very, you could put like the Curb Your
Enthusiasm theme
song right after that.
Imagine what goes on behind closed doors.
If someone's bitch slapping you on a private jet, like, what is that?
Yeah.
That's a weird relationship, man.
Well, she was his teacher.
If it was a she.
Oh, yeah.
There's a whole, like.
There's a whole, like, yeah.
There's a whole, like, thing.
Bro, Candace Owens did, like, five hours on it.
That's a little bit crazy.
But, yeah, she's the wrong dog to go after you.
Right.
If you're trying to break into a house, that's the wrong guard dog.
Right.
She gets on something.
She's like a pit bull.
No, she really breaks down.
I had a friend once show me her breakdown of, like, a Taylor Swift situation
because I didn't
know Candace talks about, like, that sort of stuff as well.
And I was like, oh, this is like a really in-depth breakdown of what's going on
with Taylor Swift.
That's crazy.
Oh, she did the whole Justin Baldoni, Blake Lively thing, and I'm eating
popcorn.
What?
What?
No.
But the fucking Bridget McCrone one is the craziest because I think she's right.
I don't mean, obviously, I don't know.
But at the end of the day, the first thing you have to say is, what kind of a
40-year-old dates a 14-year-old?
Right.
That's crazy.
Well, that's the thing.
Even if it's a woman and a man, first of all, Kurt Mesker says it's 14.
I think the internet says it's 15.
Kurt Mesker goes, but it's definitely 14.
He was younger than that.
Did you see me get cornered by him yesterday when we were eating dinner?
Oh, my God.
Bro, he just hit me with, like, seven different conspiracies in a row.
And I'm like, guys, guys, I'm getting cornered.
It's so hard to follow him all the time when you're just like, okay.
I felt like a woman trapped at, like, an office party, and the guy who's
hitting on them, like, won't leave him alone.
They can't escape.
Yeah, have you ever seen that meme of that, like, girl at the party and the guy's
just talking at him?
That's kind of what it feels like.
Yeah.
It's always, like, you know, something about flat earth or something.
But, yeah, no, it's, I saw that and I was like, that's crazy that this happened
this morning.
Crazy.
But the facts of the situation, 40 and, let's say 15.
Let's give them the benefit of the doubt.
15 is, I have a 15-year-old.
They're little kids, essentially.
You know, they're, like, three years away from being an adult.
Right.
Three whole years.
Well, you know what's interesting?
Is that, like, I listen to a lot of true crime and they'll say that, like, pedophiles
and stuff will put themselves in situations where they can abuse.
And that's, I think, that's why there's a lot of-
Nickelodeon.
Yeah, Nickelodeon.
The Nickelodeon thing.
It's like the Jimmy Savile thing in England.
That's crazy.
The craziest.
That's crazy.
The craziest.
I was trying to explain to someone this week.
I was like, imagine if Mr. Rogers was the biggest pedophile that ever existed.
But also looked like one.
Yeah.
That's what's great.
Like, Mr. Rogers looks like a sweet guy.
You know what I mean?
Like, back in the day, like, if a guy like Mr. Rogers was teaching kids, you
wouldn't even get creeped out.
It's like, oh, he's just a sweet guy.
There's sweet people out there.
But Jimmy Savile looks like a monster.
He looked like a monster.
Like, didn't look like a real person.
He looked like-
What was that fucking movie?
There was that movie that was based on a book.
Oh, my God.
Johnny Depp was in it.
The guy from How I Met Your Mother was in it.
This is not ringing any bells for me.
It's a really weird book that's like half fantastic, half realistic, sort of
almost Harry Potter-ish.
The Secret Window?
Oh, that's it.
Okay.
Let me see what it looks like.
Uh, based on a Stephen King thing?
No, that's not it.
Okay.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
It was like a recent-
Fuck.
Is it like almost Harry Potter-ish?
Is it Magical Beasts?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That movie?
That's it.
Oh, that's it.
Yeah, it's Magical Beasts.
Yeah, yeah.
He looks like an evil person in Magical Beasts.
Right.
Right.
Like a bad wizard.
He definitely looks like a bad wizard.
Doesn't look like a real human.
But I wonder, too, if like-
Pull up a picture of Jimmy Savile.
Let's look at that guy.
I think it might be so hard to look past, like, everything that he's done for
us to not see
the monster, like, it must have been like, oh, cause-
No, no, no.
That's a monster.
That's a monster.
That's a monster.
That's a monster.
No matter what, that's a monster.
That's a monster with the glasses.
There's something about his eyes.
Obviously, we know too much, right?
Right.
But look at this.
Shirt open.
No, no, no, you know, like, no t-shirt underneath it.
Chest hair.
Fucking something around his neck.
That matches his shirt.
I guess a tie just around his neck.
He's a creeper.
Yeah, but at the time, they were like, oh, he's just a British eccentric guy.
That's the-
We British are known for our weird people.
God.
Yeah.
50 years.
Just.
God.
And died, and no one ever caught him.
No one ever caught him.
BBC covered it up.
Crazy.
Just let him get away.
Used to hang out at the hospitals that he would.
Well, that's the Sandusky thing, too.
Sandusky thinks same thing.
Like, everybody knew about it.
Oh, dude.
Everyone knew about it.
But they were winning.
So, we were like, dude, we win championships.
That's the devil.
If the devil's a real thing, that's where the devil lives.
It's very funny to me, at least, you know, that they exposed Sandusky after
they went seven and six.
They were like, they were winning for so long.
And then they were like, seven and six.
Is that really what happened?
It was the same.
They had a horrible year, and then the next year, Sandusky, the Sandusky thing
came out.
Oh, my God.
They needed to make changes.
He wasn't doing his job.
I think he had already retired at that point, too.
It was just crazy.
Oh, well, that's even.
Yeah, that's when it's over, because you're not valuable anymore.
Right.
You've got to Biden that motherfucker.
You've got to Pelosi that motherfucker right into the rocks.
Right.
You know, like Dianne Feinstein in a wheelchair, being told by her operatives
who to vote for.
Right.
That's what you've got to do if you're Sandusky.
Ride that bitch into the rocks.
Because if you get out, then they start investigating you.
Like, whoa.
Stay active.
Yeah.
You've got to keep achieving.
You've got to keep the con alive.
Keep these people fed, because they will feed you to the wolves.
Right?
If you're a corrupt politician, you've got to stay in all fists.
You can't retire.
If you retire, you're open game.
Because now you're on a podcast, retired, talking shit.
Let's get them.
And they start auditing you, and everyone's got some fucking shady shit.
They made way too much money.
Dude.
There's no way.
There's no way.
It's not shady when you're worth 200 million, and you make 170 grand a year.
That's crazy.
Right.
And then you have to stay.
You have to.
You've got to ride it into the rocks.
Also, there's something about that power that you don't want to give up on.
100%.
Yeah.
100%.
Some weird Darth, like the Emperor Palpatine.
They all look like Emperor Palpatine.
Every politician looks like Emperor Palpatine when they're old.
It's crazy.
Male or female.
The weight of it all weighing on you.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you have to know that you're like, man, at a certain point, I'm fucking
over so many people.
Right.
It's got to weigh on your soul, hopefully.
Bro, you age.
I think the best people age the hardest.
You know?
I think Obama was probably a very idealistic young man who really wanted to
change the world.
Yeah.
That dude aged more than anybody.
Well, in 2000.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who aged the least?
Trump.
Trump.
Trump just fucking.
This is something that.
He just brushed that shit off his shoulders like it was nothing.
This is something that Derek said to me in like 2018 once.
We were talking about it.
He was like, I don't know, because he's not a big politics guy.
He's like, I don't know if I trust Trump.
His hair is not getting gray.
What kind of politician doesn't get gray hairs?
Well, the hair itself, he makes fun of his own hair.
He was on stage talking about his comb over.
Yeah, he's funny.
He does stand up.
He's doing stand up.
Regardless of what you think about him, foreign policy, economics, regardless,
the guy is doing
stand up.
He can work a room.
Well, that's why none of them can fuck with him, because he can go on a podcast
easy.
Because he does these stadiums where he just goes out and starts talking shit.
He does Biden impressions.
He does Biden water around the room.
He doesn't know where he is.
He's funny, man.
Okay.
And the problem is he does it all the time.
So he's got an act.
He's basically like a comic, like in a lot of ways.
That's the problem.
It's like these other people, they have canned speeches that are written by a
bunch of people
that have this like really well worded, you know, explanation of what's wrong
with the
world, what's wrong with the country and what they're going to do.
But it's not them.
It's not them.
That's why they all fall apart when they're talking and, you know, they just
don't have
any idea what the question is going to be.
That's why they had to be protected.
All of them have to be protected from themselves.
Right.
Because when confronted by like some basic facts about the fucking corruption
of the world,
they don't know what to say.
And they crumble.
And Trump just starts talking shit.
He just starts talking shit.
Well, they're all corrupt.
He just starts going into it and talking about Crooked Hillary and this and
that.
And they said this and they said that.
Yeah.
It's just him saying what's on his mind, regardless of whether or not, you know,
people like fact
check him or whatever.
I think people are just used to that now.
Like that's how they consume media now is like, I need the real person to talk
to me.
Yes.
It's also like, they're like, oh, he's a crazy person.
I'm like, yeah, that's the only kind of person that would survive what you try
to do to him.
That's the only kind of guy that gets through.
Like you want a perfect person.
A perfect person morally falls apart by the time they've been indicted and they've
34 counts, felony counts.
Like your whole body is just destroyed by the stress of you possibly going to
jail for the rest of your life.
You have to be a fucking insane person to ride that out and not look like
anything even happened.
Then you get shot.
Yeah.
You get up after you got shot.
You're fucking bleeding from your ear and you go fight, fight, fight.
You got to be a crazy person to get through.
He's a nightmare for anybody that's trying to rig a system.
Like that guy's the nightmare.
He's the final boss of fuck you.
You know?
Yeah.
And also to want like a good guy to be your president is kind of crazy.
Like a good guy is your neighbor.
Like there's not.
Well, it would be nice if we could get a good guy to be president.
I don't think they would want that job.
No, they wouldn't want that job.
No, they wouldn't want that job.
There's no way.
That's an awful job.
I don't think he's a bad guy.
I think he's just, I think he's like a lot of people that just want success.
They want a certain kind of success and also they want a certain kind of
success publicly.
They want everybody to know that they're successful.
Like that's a like hy