Name: JRE MMA Show #169 - Protect Ya Neck
Uploaded: 2025-08-14T17:01:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #169 - Protect Ya Neck' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #169 - Protect Ya Neck' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-14. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #169 - Protect Ya Neck

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
The Joe Rogan Experience
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
Good? We're up. We're up.
What? Hi guys!
We're back!
This is like getting pulled over by the cops, the window rolls down, the cops
are like,
What the fuck are you doing?
Shit!
Joe, I took one hit of that shit. That shit was strong as hell. I feel high
already.
That's good for you, dude. It's good for you. Opens your mind.
It's the right stuff.
Yeah, there's some talk about Trump legalizing marijuana now.
That would be amazing.
It kind of feels like it is legal right now.
Well, it should be. It's so stupid.
I can't believe we're still dealing with this.
I mean, I would have thought by the time I just turned 58.
I would have thought by the time I'm 58, we would have figured this out.
Can I tell you, when I eat with my ulcerative colitis,
we always start with my ass for some reason.
But with my ulcerative colitis, after my colonoscopy one time,
the doctor's like, well, there's this pill you could take,
it could affect your liver, but not for many years.
Like, not for...
Now, this was when I was like 39.
I'm 51 now.
I'd be going to Columbia for stem cells for my fucking liver at this point.
So what I do is the natural stuff, and it does help me.
It just helps, and I don't have to...
It's not fucking with my liver.
It would take the place of so many different pharmaceutical drugs,
and that's a big part of the problem.
The other part of the problem is the alcohol industry.
Oh, yeah, that would suffer for sure, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they've done studies.
They know.
Yeah.
They lobby.
They work on it hard.
They do not want marijuana becoming legalized in the whole nation.
Alcohol's way worse.
Way worse.
It's an age-old conversation, but...
Well, the real big problem is who's selling if it's illegal?
The cartel.
That's right.
And I've talked about this before.
If you've heard it before, I'm sorry,
but there's a guy named John Norris who's been on the podcast before
who was a game warden.
He wrote a book called Hidden Wars.
He was a game warden in California.
You know, just a guy who checks fishing licenses and shit.
He loves the woods, loves being outdoors.
Oh, he came on the shit.
And he came upon a fucking cartel grow-up
in the middle of the national forest,
and then they realize, oh, no, this is what they do.
They go deep into the woods in public land
and they set up a grow-up
and they got fucking AKs
and they got, you know, the Virgin Mary photos
that they pray to at night.
It's crazy.
Like, full-on campsites filled with cartel dudes.
They started turning into a tactical team.
So this guy had to get Belgian Malinois
and bulletproof vests
and they're getting shootouts with the cartels
in the middle of the woods.
I thought he was signing up to be a park ranger
and he's out there.
I thought he was getting, like,
no shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Hear people's fish stories.
Like, how'd you get this one?
You know?
No, he's fucking getting shootouts.
Because it's illegal.
Damn, with the cartels.
Damn.
So when California made their laws
where you could have legalized recreational marijuana,
what they also did was,
if you grow it illegally,
it's only a misdemeanor.
So the cartel could just grow illegally.
And it's just a misdemeanor.
It's a misdemeanor.
No big deal.
And if they catch people that are illegals up there,
they don't do shit.
Right.
So it's the perfect spawning ground
for cartel grow-ups.
And what he was saying,
at the time he was here,
which was a couple of years back,
but he was saying that it was as much as
80% of the marijuana,
I think that was the number,
in the country,
in places where it's illegal,
is coming from these dudes.
And they're using all these crazy pesticides
and herbicides that are totally illegal.
Fucking super toxic shit.
Shit that's outlawed on farms in America.
But it's effective.
And so they're using it.
So you're getting this weed
that's infected with these pesticides
and herbicides.
There's no rules, man.
It's illegal weed.
If they had it legal,
you could have inspectors
who could check the fucking fact,
the farms and the factories.
It'd be just like alcohol.
If alcohol was illegal,
we'd all be fucked.
We'd be drinking moonshine.
No one would, you know what I mean?
Yeah, no doubt.
Fuck a nice glass of wine.
You're drinking fucking straight up alcohol.
Nasty shit.
Because that's all that's available.
And that's what people are doing right now.
It's dumb.
It empowers the people that are criminals.
Well, you said it before.
It's the money.
They're going to affect the big pharma
and we all have seen
from COVID
what the hell kind of power
big pharma has.
Yeah, they're worried about it,
but I think the alcohol people
are worried more.
The alcohol people got us twice.
They were fighting.
Remember they fought MMA hard too,
Bud Light.
Did they?
Oh, yeah.
Because of boxing, you know?
Yeah.
Kind of crazy
that Bud Light became a sponsor
years later.
How long did the prohibition last for?
Prohibition on alcohol,
that's a good point.
I think it was 10 years.
Was it 10 years, Jamie?
Must have been a rough fucking 10 years.
Bro, it had to be crazy.
Yeah, right?
But that's where the organized crime
got all their money.
13 years.
Yep, that's where Nash...
13 fucking years.
For 13 fucking years,
alcohol was illegal in this country.
You know how crazy that is?
A grown man telling you
you can't have a drink.
Right.
Same thing with a smoke.
What's the problem with that?
Exactly the same thing.
It's weird.
Exactly the same thing.
We're just delusional about it.
And we put it under the label drug,
which is alcohol.
Alcohol is a drug, dummy.
It's a drug.
Everything's a drug.
There's a lot of drugs.
Caffeine is a drug.
Yeah, exactly.
We're drinking espresso.
We just stop it.
It's just knowing how to use each drug.
And the only way you know
how to use it
is if people are honest.
And if they do studies,
you have actual scientists
who aren't being paid off
to come up with some sort
of negative or positive result.
You know,
that's what it's supposed to be.
Yeah.
For all of us.
It's all just fucking co-opted
by money.
Did you know Maryland
didn't enforce it?
Never heard that.
Maryland didn't enforce it.
Well, that's good.
Good for Maryland.
I'm good to you.
Shout out to Baltimore.
Shout out to Baltimore.
By the way,
how crazy is that?
Right.
Also home of Ground Control.
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
I guess I missed the memo.
Matt Serra.
I missed the fucking memo.
I've known you for 30 years.
I know.
Totally.
We didn't talk about this at all.
Well, I saw Matt
wore his last time
and I said,
well, that's it.
The green light.
I'm shamelessly self-promoting.
And then Dean came down.
I go, motherfucker.
I go, you're a man.
He goes, I got to represent.
And then you came in with it.
The thing is that
we didn't talk about it.
I know.
That's crazy.
I feel like I'm left
out of the loop here.
I know.
I wish we had some extras.
I'm trying to get a sponsor
by True Classic.
I had an extra one, too.
You know what's so funny?
I had one that was still
in the package
and I was like,
should I bring this?
I'm like, no,
I don't need this.
I think you should have.
I should have brought this.
That's crazy.
That would have been great.
That was like the universe
telling me that you needed
one of these shirts.
And I ignored it.
That's great.
We're talking about stuff
that's good for you
and I've been telling you
I've been eating
a ton of fucking pizza
and I still got abs.
Uh-oh, here it comes.
Here it comes.
That I'm so proud of this.
I don't like to brag.
A little bit.
Yeah, a little bit.
Dean does.
I need us a little bit.
But on Long Island,
we have three champions.
Four if you include Marab.
You know, he's adopted by us.
Chris Weidman
has his own day
in Long Island.
Al Jermaine Sterling
has his own day.
I'm not butthurt
about not having my own day,
but I have something better.
Thank you, Talios
from Massapequa Park
in Mineola.
I have my own
Sarah Slice.
It's the best fucking...
It'll knock your dick off.
It's the best slice.
I put it up against any slice
that you give me.
And the reason being...
Tell Dave Portnoy.
Tell Dave Portnoy.
They import...
Listen.
Tell him what you said.
Is this kid Rob?
There he is!
My buddy Rob!
Oh, he's talking about it!
UFC legend.
I'm going to show you guys
how we made the Sarah.
Our Roman shell here.
We're going to go down
with our Grande
Moisture Mozzarella.
This is a very simple pizza.
Nice stripes
of our chow tomato sauce
imported from Italy.
Imported from Italy!
Sea salts, basil,
and olive oil.
That is my recipe
for my tomato sauce.
No sugar.
Stop putting sugar
in your sauce.
Yes!
And we have our beautiful
house-made vodka sauce.
Dude.
We make it with
prosciutto di parma.
I'm getting a hold on!
Matt, tell him
the Sarah pizza!
Tell him where
the dough comes from, Matt.
He's going to see.
Down with some fresh
Caputo flour
from Italy.
Arrino Romano.
No bromate.
No preservatives.
Sicilian oregano.
We have some beautiful
Fiori Latte fresh mozzarella.
Come on, man!
That we just like to break up.
Just wait for the fucking pesto.
On top.
Just wait for the pesto.
The Sarah.
Super simple.
Throw it in the oven.
About eight minutes.
Look at this fucking thing.
Look at this fucking thing.
Oh, yeah.
This is one of the best
advertisements for carbs
I've ever seen.
No bromine!
No bleach!
No doubt!
And I tell you,
this is the only green I eat.
Beautiful.
I eat that fucking...
Grated pecorino.
Ready?
Wait for the...
And of course...
Oh, the money shot!
No!
Let's fucking go, Rob!
The pesto.
Take a bite.
Guys, I'm so proud.
Sarah, come get it now.
Both locations.
Call your pizza.
You were so happy!
You were so happy!
Thank you, thank you, Rob.
I'm just so happy about that.
That's the first time you'll ever see Matt's mouth shut.
I'm so happy.
That looks so good.
Yeah, you gotta go, dude.
Man, why you didn't bring us none?
Dude, can I tell you,
I'm there all the fucking time.
My podcast I'm doing,
I found the first shop
near Mineola train station
and I'm like,
this fucking shit's ridiculous, you know?
And then the guy happens to be a fan of the fight in Rob.
So then he's like,
look, I'm opening up another spot.
Dude, in Massapequa Park.
Dude, that's five minutes from my house.
This is meant to be.
It's fucking meant to be!
And now he's training now, Rob.
That's awesome.
Talio's pizza,
the G is silent like lasagna
and I just, I'm so happy.
This guy's the number one problem
with any of that carnivore diet bullshit.
That's the number one problem is pizza.
Oh, right, yeah, no doubt.
Italian subs.
He was telling me
that it's not even legal in Europe
to have the bromate.
I didn't know what the fuck bromate was.
He goes,
it's stuff they put in the dough
to make it last longer
and this and that.
This kid has such balls
where he even started importing
twice as much for a flour caputo flour.
Dude, I don't know much.
I know a lot about this.
You know, I'm having espresso.
He tells me the whole thing about it.
You feel different if you eat that flour.
I'll eat this shit
on the way to go train at my school
and I'm not doing that with Pietro,
it's no offense.
I'm not doing that with others.
He has a, it's so good.
potassium bromate,
a flour additive used
to strengthen dough,
may have potential health risks.
While it's legal in the U.S.,
it's banned in many other countries
due to concerns
about its potential carcinogenic effects.
Studies have linked it
to kidney and thyroid cancers
in animals.
Well, fucking duh.
And it's been associated
with genotoxic
and nephrotoxic effects
in both animal models
and humans.
Acute symptoms
from ingestion
can include nausea,
vomiting, diarrhea,
and abdominal pain.
And they put this
in our flour.
Dude, that's what I'm saying.
That's crazy.
So out of older.
It causes changes in DNA
and potentially lead to mutations.
Guys.
What the fuck?
I'm telling you, man.
Look at that fucking statement.
That's crazy.
Dude, that's why, man.
I didn't notice
its place at the end.
Give this kid so much cr