Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2380 - Jordan Jensen
Uploaded: 2025-09-17T17:01:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2380 - Jordan Jensen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2380 - Jordan Jensen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-17. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2380 - Jordan Jensen

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Jordan.
Hello.
What's up?
Oh good, I got my legal pad here.
Yeah, in case you need to write notes.
I'm going to take notes on what you're doing right and wrong.
And I'll give them to you at the end.
Tell me.
Okay, I will.
So I can figure out what the wrong stuff is and stop doing it.
I want to fuck with all this stuff.
I know there's so much shit.
And people keep giving me new shit.
I know.
I brought a little tiny figurine of a little thing on stage one time.
And every single meet and greet people give me these little tiny animals.
So now I have this giant collection of them.
And I'm like, I don't like these that much.
That's the problem.
It's like everybody knows that I keep a bunch of shit on this desk.
So people give me shit to put on this desk.
And now it's getting kind of crazy.
Like where I'm going to have to have a shelf.
I had to get a shelf.
I got one of those old typewriter keyboard things.
Look, I have like mammoth teeth.
This is a piece of art.
Oh, somebody gave me one of these.
It was cut out of a woolly mammoth tooth.
Oh, that's a don't blow it.
I won't.
I got one of these.
A Mayan death whistle?
Yeah, Brian Aztec.
Aztec death whistle.
Brian Callum blew one right before COVID hit.
I'm not saying he caused it.
Oh.
But there's a lot of videos saying he caused it.
I get it.
I get it.
That would be a death whistle.
I think it was technically.
I think when he blew it, it had already like caught on in China.
Yeah.
Unless we're in a simulation.
Right.
You're the COVID guy.
I was listening to your podcast with what's the woman who got falsely accused?
Of what?
Of murdering her roommate.
Oh.
I was listening to that one and I like fast forwarded it one moment and it went
from her
being like, and then I was in prison for four years to you being like, well,
the bat's been
COVID and I was like, how did we, how did we get here?
Yeah, that was a fascinating podcast.
Amanda Knox.
She's got a Netflix series out right now where someone plays her, which has got
to be super
fucking weird.
Yeah.
Like someone else plays her in like a dramatization of her getting wrongly
accused at 20 years
old of a murder where they had all this evidence that this guy who broke into
the house fucking
murdered her.
It was like his DNA was there and they ignored it because they didn't want to
admit that they
were wrong.
It's on Hulu.
Hulu.
Sorry.
I don't really get how that happens.
Because cops are cunts.
Right.
But did they not check?
Just like people are cunts.
Not all cops.
Did they not see sperm everywhere?
Oh no.
The guy was like, I fucked her.
No, I don't know what he said.
I don't know what happened, but I know that they started, they had a narrative.
Oh, that he was in on it.
No, no, no.
They had a narrative that she did it, that she caused the murder.
Right.
And the guy started with that and he stuck with it.
And even when there was evidence that showed that there was a guy in there and
then the
guy did it and then the window was broken and somebody broke into the house.
And then eventually he came forward and was like, this has nothing to do with
her, the
guy who did do it.
Well, I don't think he eventually ever did anything.
No.
Like she actually had a meeting with him, which is crazy.
Like after the fact, like forgave him.
But.
She's a white girl.
They got, she got tried twice.
Twice.
I know, the Supreme Court.
No, no, no.
She went, she got acquitted.
Like she got released.
Right.
And then they retried her in absentia.
So she was in America while they were trying her in Italy again.
And then they said she's fine.
Yeah.
Which is fucking crazy.
Like, hey, how about give her some fucking money?
Also, the guy, Raffaella was in solitary for six months.
I know.
I can't fathom that.
Yeah.
The six months in solitude is so crazy to me.
One day in solitude and I'm done.
Well, I talked to a guy that had been in solitary for years.
What does that mean?
Like you get, you shit and piss in there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
You get no contact.
No contact with everybody else.
You must be scrambly after that.
100%.
I feel like they, yeah, it's got to do some sort of weird brain damage thing
where they come
out.
Well, this guy, Shaka, that we have on the podcast, he's great.
Was he normal?
Yeah.
Well, beyond.
Like super smart.
He wrote in there, educated himself in there too.
Oh, you can read books in there.
You can read in there.
Yeah, you can read.
That's good.
Yeah.
I mean, they don't just give you nothing, but you do go crazy.
You go crazy.
Human beings need human contact.
Well, it's like when you don't do anything all day and then you get right up on
stage.
Have you ever done that?
Where you don't talk to anybody and you are feeling sane?
Yeah.
The worst, the first conversation of the day.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
That's why I always bring friends on the road.
You don't want to be like that weirdo in the hotel room by yourself.
Yeah.
And then you take a nap and the sun goes down while you're napping.
That's the worst feeling.
That?
When I do that, it feels like I'm haunting the audience.
Like I'm like, you guys are in a different reality and I'm intruding on where
you're at.
The weird one is when you wake up and you don't know what city you're in.
Yeah.
But that's why I got the dog.
I was so sick of that feeling.
I was so sick of waking up and being like, I've been abducted.
Where am I?
This place is nicer than my apartment, so that's good.
But where am I?
And then I saw my dog and I was like, oh, we're all right.
That's not the only reason why you got your dog.
Yeah.
And she rules.
And she's awesome.
She's really sweet.
She's very cool.
She's so cute.
How long have you had her?
Two years.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah.
Was she full grown when you got her?
Tiny.
Because I wanted to adopt the mom.
Oh.
But they were like, hey, the mom just had all this.
We didn't know she was pregnant.
She just had a litter of puppies.
Will you take one of these?
And I was like, okay.
And I had no idea how hard it is to have a puppy.
I've had dogs where you adopt them full grown and it was great.
I had this dog named Lucy.
She was awesome.
She was so sweet.
And then I had another dog named Squeaky Fromm that was a real nightmare.
Yeah.
She was real.
Maybe it was because I named her Squeaky Fromm after one of the Manson family
members.
Oh, yeah.
That'll happen.
She had a squeaky voice.
She had been barking so much in the pound that when I got her out of the pound,
her voice
was like, and then eventually it got normal again because she didn't have to
bark 24 hours
a day.
She just had worn out vocal cords.
She had a totally normal bark, but I was like, oh, my God.
Bark is like a smoke.
She was a smoker, yeah.
Yeah, it was like that.
That's awesome.
Like she was a horse.
Yeah, you don't know what you're going to get.
I mean, when I got a rescue, I was like, I'm going to get a small rescue, so I
hope it'll
be fine.
But it was such a gamble.
Everybody was like, do not do this.
Yeah, we had a Doberman once that was a rescue that we had to get rid of.
He had distemper, and he got really crazy, like in that, like growling at us
and barking
at us out of nowhere.
And I was a little kid.
Oh, you were really?
It was like, yo, we got rid of him.
We had a dog that ate the foot off of my, we had a pit bull that was a rescue,
and my
mom had this like woman move in with us who she was dating, and her kids moved
in too.
And my pit bull ate the foot off of the wife's cat.
Oh, my God.
Of the woman's cat.
Oh, my God.
And the woman was like, hey, you got to like choose between me or this pit bull.
My mom was like, yeah, get your cripple cat out of here.
And we kept our dog.
She didn't give a fuck.
She was so attached to that dog.
That dog, the amount of times would just like kill.
My friend was in the backyard.
The dog kills a cat, and my friend's freaking out.
She's like, we have to find the owner.
And my mom was like, you will stay quiet.
It was crazy.
It was nuts.
She was obsessed with that dog.
That's the only time I've seen her like really cry is when a dog dies.
Yeah, it's hard.
They don't live long enough.
I can't even think about it.
Like they're your best friends.
Yeah.
I have a dog named Marshall.
He's a golden retriever.
He's the best, and he's nine now.
He'll be nine in a couple of months.
And it's just like, oh, no.
I've had him since he was a baby.
Now he's nine.
I'm like, he's only got a few years left.
And he's so active.
He's super healthy, eats great.
He's fit.
He's not.
Is he the retriever?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The small dogs live for him.
They get to be like 12, and that's kind of it.
13, maybe 14, and then they're really hurting.
It's fucked.
It's fucked.
Apparently there's a drug that they've developed for dogs, like a longevity
drug.
I don't know if they've released it yet, but I know that it shows promise and
extend dogs' lifetime.
Whitney Cummings the other day said that her friend's like soul dog died the
other day, and she said when the dog dies, you like learn something about
yourself that's very important.
So I've been holding on to that kind of woo-woo thing.
She's like, you kind of show up for yourself in a way you need to.
I don't know if I'd listen to Whitney.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She does.
Whitney gets a little woo-woo-woo.
I like how Whitney has something to say about everything, though.
Rapamycin.
Rap him on ice.
Take him off.
He's still living.
I've heard of rapamycin before because rapamycin is something that Peter Atiyah
is a big proponent of for longevity.
The guy who wants to live forever?
No, no.
That's Brian Johnson.
Another study at Texas A&M University showed rapamycin could extend the
lifespan of older dogs by up to 20%.
Generally well-tolerated.
However, it can cause side effects such as lethargy, lack of appetite.
Oh, boy.
No, you can't do it.
Is that it?
Because I think there was something else.
It was like a gene therapy.
What happened to the cloning thing?
What happened to CRISPR?
They probably already made clones.
But why did we not hear about that?
Aren't they cloning sheep and shit?
Yep.
And then we just stopped hearing about it?
Yeah, they probably made a bunch of people already.
Yeah, what is that?
The people telling you about clones are probably clones.
You ever see a person that looks exactly like another person and then you ask
them their name and it's the same name?
And you're like, no fucking way.
You know the story about those two baseball players?
No.
Oh, it's the nuttiest shit of all time.
These two baseball players look exactly the same, have the exact same name, and
never met each other, and they both play baseball.
Let me see them.
Oh, it's bananas.
These two guys.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, like, what in the fuck?
Different parents.
Why are they wearing the same glasses?
And their name is Brady Feigl, right?
So it's not even like a normal name.
Yeah, and they both got the same injury.
That's how they found out.
They were going to the same doctor.
Just imagine your name is Brady Feigl and you meet another guy who's also Brady
Feigl.
You're both six foot four.
You both have red hair.
They're both really tall.
You both have black glasses.
You both have the fucking same crazy name.
That name is nuts.
Maryland and Missouri is not far enough away.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
I think they also, once they found this out, they didn't immediately go meet
each other.
They waited for like two or three years, maybe, I think.
Oh, if the guy played baseball and I played baseball, I'd be like, bro, we got
to hang out and freak people out.
They're different ages.
I thought they were the same age.
Oh, how old?
32 and 27.
Interesting.
The first guy must be really pissed.
This motherfucker stealing my shine.
That's bizarre.
Yeah, but I just remember hearing so much about cloning.
Yeah.
And then it just stopped.
Well, they do it with dogs.
They do it with people's pets.
Like, if you want to get your pet cloned