Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2429 - Tom Segura
Uploaded: 2025-12-23T18:00:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2429 - Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2429 - Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-23. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2429 - Tom Segura

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Is that hat your croissant, croissant company?
Bro, those croissants are a real fucking problem.
They're the shit, aren't they?
I was going to eat one bite.
This is what's left.
I was like, I'll have a bite.
They're so good, man.
Too buttery.
How can a guy lose as much weight as you lost and then open up a fucking bakery?
Because I started with them when I was so fat.
It was perfect.
Like, I fell in love with that place when I was close to my fattest.
And I was like, this is a match made in heaven.
How big were you when you were your fattest?
The most I ever weighed was 265.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
And what are you now?
187.
That's insane.
Yeah, so it's like, what, 80 pounds?
What does that feel like on your joints?
Feels great.
I feel so much better.
I feel so much better.
Of course.
I'm lifting four days a week.
Wow.
Yeah, I just, I lifted this morning.
Do you have a trainer?
Do you go on solo?
No, he meets me there every day or every day that I'm-
Is that for accountability?
You know, I just realized that, I mean, I've trained enough now where I can, I
can do a
good workout on my own, but I always feel like it's never as good as when he's
there.
It's always, you know what I mean?
Like, it's always a little bit harder and I always feel like it's a better
workout when
he's there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He pushes me, Sean.
So you've been with him for a while?
I've been with him for, yeah, for years.
The other difference, the big difference is that I've been, I dialed in not
with croissants,
but I've dialed in my nutrition a lot more.
Like, I eat four times a day now and I'm on top of my macros.
You know what I mean?
Things I've never done before.
Why do you eat four times a day?
This nutritionist just gave me this plan and I've been just doing it.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So I eat 50 grams of protein at every, at each of those four, you know, four
different
meals.
Okay.
So I end up getting 200 grams.
So you, you do smaller meals that are lower in calories, but high in protein.
Yeah.
Yep.
And then I, I also, I, I carb cycle.
So I, I know on a, and like if like today was legs, I know that it's, it's a
more intense
workout.
I'll do the full portions of these carbs, right?
Which sometimes the sweet potatoes or white rice, but on a day, if I'm like, if
it's a
rest day or I'm, I'm doing like less intense workout, I'll dial back how much
of those carbs
I eat.
Hmm.
Are you, do you take a pre-workout?
I have a pre-workout meal every time.
So like in the morning, I get, I've been getting up at 5 30.
So I, I get, yeah, what the fuck are you doing, man?
I mean, cause I've been in the writer's room on my, on season two of Bad
Thoughts.
So I've been, I've been getting up at 5 30 and my pre-workout meal are these
like, I guess
it's like muesli kind of like grains, you know, with, um, with some honey, a
little bit of almond
butter.
And then I have, uh, Greek yogurt with, um, a scoop of, uh, whey protein.
So that's my pre-workout.
And after that I go to the gym and then during the workout, I sometimes have a,
like an intro
workout shake.
Sometimes I just, yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
But I mean, I feel much better doing it that way.
I do.
And then, and then I eat again about an hour after that workout.
So that's my second meal.
Then a few hours later is three.
And then my fourth one is like around six.
So you have your second meal by the time it's like 8 AM.
Maybe like 9 30.
Yeah.
That's so crazy.
Yeah.
What time are you going to bed at night?
Well, that's, that's the key to this whole fucking thing.
That's the key to the whole thing is that you go to do this.
I got to do this and to do that.
I got to do that to the, and to do that, I got to get up early.
And the only way I can get up early is by staying on top of when I go to bed.
You know, when we met, I was going to bed at three o'clock in the morning.
Normal stuff.
Yeah.
And I would get up at like 11.
Yeah.
Like a normal person.
Like a normal person.
And then I would say in the last decade, a lot of my bedtime kind of shifted to
like around midnight.
And then it shifted to like a little bit like closer to 11.
In the last few months, like sticking to this plan, I've started to go to bed
sometimes at like 10, 10 30, which for me is like very early.
You know, it's very hard.
It was, it's the biggest challenge for me has been to get to bed.
That's hard for me.
That's hard.
That would be hard.
But I also, I don't think I'm going to be getting up at 5 30 forever.
This is just writer's room stuff.
This is just writer's room stuff.
Normally you get up when, eight, seven?
Between seven and eight.
That's, that's reasonable.
That's reasonable.
Yeah.
And I don't have to go to bed at 10 to do that.
Yeah.
When my kids are in school, I get up at seven ish and then, yeah, usually
between seven and seven 15, depending on when they have to leave.
And then when they're not in school, like right now, today I got up at eight,
which is pretty normal.
Eight feels good.
That's normal for me.
I got, I got up around seven 30 today.
If I don't work out first thing in the morning though, it used to be, I really
used to like working out at night because in jujitsu, I'd always like doing at
night.
Morning classes were tough, tough to get in there early and train.
And also you don't feel warmed up and you fucking feel like everything's going
to get hurt.
Yeah.
But nighttime, I can't work out anymore.
I can't do that.
I've completely changed in this regard too.
I'm too busy.
I used to say, well, I will say that like, I feel like my strongest between
like 11 and one, like the middle of the day is when I, if you were like, drop
an ideal strength time, that's when I feel like I'm like, oh, that's when I'm
at my best.
Why?
Why do you think that is?
I think I, you're, you woke up.
Yeah.
You woke up.
You're fired up.
You're warmed up.
And you're ready to go.
And I feel like a little food.
I feel good.
But I've pivoted to now really enjoying these first thing in the morning
workouts where I feel like my whole day is set when I have those workouts.
And I also realized that if I don't, I feel so much different through that,
throughout that day.
Right.
That's a good, that's a good factor.
One, you get that first big win in the morning.
Yeah.
You got it done.
You're, you got good momentum going, but also you're more calm.
Yeah.
That's the big one.
That's the big one.
And focused, right?
When we did that sober October thing, we were all doing crazy cardio.
One thing you said to me that really rang true is like, it totally silences all
that internal chatter.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, and I think, I think one thing about the writer's room is that, you know,
you have to be alert.
You have to be focused.
Right.
You can't have all this shit, like the noise going on.
And, you know, so it was a great way to show up to the room is like, you have
that win.
You've done something hard and now I'm ready to work.
Yeah.
For me, um, it's, it's not just a hard workout, but generally has to have some
cardio in it.
Really?
Yeah.
Cardio is what really shuts off all the chatter.
It is different than the weightlifting.
Yeah.
Weightlifting is great.
Weightlifting makes you feel better.
Like you feel like energized.
You feel like, Ooh, I feel good.
But cardio is like, I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
Like when I, when I have a really hard cardio session, it's like, I don't give
a fuck.
I don't give a fuck what's going on.
Everything's fine.
I noticed the difference between, cause I was doing 45 minute cardio sessions
and when
I upped it to an hour, the 15 minute difference for me felt like another hour,
like pushing
it 15 more minutes was really, really hard.
Well, that's when it's hardest when you're tired already.
Yeah.
You know, when you're extending your cardio capability, that's, that's fucking
hard, man.
That was hard.
It's so important.
It's so important to do.
Oh yeah.
It's everything.
We wonder why so many people are out of their fucking minds.
That's a big part of it.
They don't work hard.
I got so obsessed with some of these, this, like these data and metrics about
this, you
know?
Oh yeah.
Just like, that becomes a problem.
But yeah, well, I don't mean like that, like I have to do, but like the, just
the, the data
that people are talking about as people age of like, if you're not lifting and
your bone
density goes down or like your VO2 Mac, like learning about that stuff and
going like, if you don't
start thinking about that at a certain age, one day it will be like,
like, so out of your grasp.
I was just having this conversation with Shane Gillis.
I was like, you have to realize like 20 years goes by so fast.
Cause I'm 20 years older than him.
I'm like 20 years ago.
I like that happened.
It was yesterday.
Yeah.
And all of a sudden I'm 58 and 20 years from now I'm 78.
That's dead.
Yeah.
Like that's almost dead.
Yeah.
Like, and, and you can either be almost dead and look like RFK Jr.
Or you could be almost dead and look like Trump.
Yeah.
It's kind of the same thing.
Yeah.
They're in the same neighborhood.
And you have a choice.
Trump's only seven or eight years older than RFK Jr.
He doesn't look like it.
No.
Yeah.
And that guy did heroin for 14 fucking years.
Who did?
RFK Jr.
He did heroin?
Oh yeah.
After his dad was assassinated.
He was a heroin addict?
Yeah.
No shit.
Yeah.
When he was young.
People give him a hard time about it.
Like, hey, yo, his fucking dad got shot in front of him.
Yeah.
His dad who was running for president got assassinated.
Yeah.
That's when he was a little kid.
Come on.
You wouldn't do heroin.
You have no idea what you would do.
And his uncle got shot in the head in front of the whole world.
Yeah.
I mean.
Well, not in front of the whole world.
It wasn't in front of the whole world until several years later.
He looks incredible.
He looks great.
Yeah.
He did 20 chin-ups in a row.
I saw that.
At 70 whatever the fuck he is.
That's very impressive.
That's insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Modern science for the win.
Yeah.
No, yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I think about it all the time.
Because I think the same way.
20 years goes by real fucking fast.
Like that.
Yeah.
It's so fast, dude.
Yeah.
Before you know it.
It's like there's guys that never got going with their life.
Or they got distracted with stupid shit.
And they never really focused on whatever it is they do with their careers.
And then you see them 20 years later.
They're in their late 40s.
And they're fucking scrambling and depressed.
I'm friends with so many of them, dude.
Oh, it's a problem.
I'm friends with so many of them.
Yeah.
Like I'm in that age pocket where it's like a lot of my friends are in that
like...
They never did anything.
Yeah.
And they're really scrambling.
Yeah.
And they're really desperate.
And then they want help.
Which is like, hey, I can't fucking hold your hand.
Exactly.
You did this to yourself.
Like you should have paid attention to what we were all doing all those years
ago.
It's unnerving too when some of them, like I have friends who are like, you're
like, dude, like we're in our 40s.
Yeah.
And you're, and the thing is the worst part about it is you realize how much of
it is dictated by fear.
Like they're just scared to do things.
It's like someone who's scared to step in the gym or something, right?
You're like, you're just scared to get your, to take that step to do something.
Scared to be uncomfortable is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
It's like most people are scared to be uncomfortable.
So they're scared to sit down in front of the computer and write.
They don't write because they're scared to be, I don't, the writing thing is
the weirdest one.
Fear of the unknown.
Because I don't understand why that's even uncomfortable, but it is.
I get it.
It is.
I avoid it sometimes.
I come home and I'm like, I really should write, but I could watch YouTube.
Yeah.
And then I'll fucking sit in front of the TV.
I'm like, I earne