Name: Jamie Lee Goes To The Breeder's Cup
Uploaded: 2013-11-13T01:34:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jamie Lee Goes To The Breeder's Cup' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jamie Lee Goes To The Breeder's Cup' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-13. Transcript available.

Hi guys, I'm Jamie Lee from the Pete Holmes Show, and I'm here at the 30th
Annual Breeders' Cup at the Santa Anita Racetrack.
I have my frilly hat, I have my sundress, I have some pearls.
I'm ready to experience this. I know nothing about horse racing, but I'm here
to soak up the culture.
What brings you here?
Well, you know, I may or may not have been to the races before.
I was bit by a pony at three years old, and I was bit for life.
Were you really bit by a pony?
Yeah, yeah.
And that didn't make you hate the pony? Or the breed?
Oh, no. Like my men, same thing. I keep coming back for more.
Ooh, Charlotte, you nasty girl.
Horses, horses, horses, horses. Ooh!
Hey, how are you feeling?
Okay.
Oh, he has a little bit of shit on his hoof.
Ooh, leather pants. Not bad, Jockey. Not bad.
What is the Breeders' Cup? Break it down for us.
The Breeders' Cup basically brings all the horses in the world together for a
two-day period,
and they race over certain distances.
As a breeder, you have to pay in to get your horse entered in the race.
And that creates the pool of prize money.
What's the most money you've ever bet on a horse?
For a hundred million.
Whoa! That's a lot.
To some.
No, I like to bet on the horses that have good names.
But some of them have crazy names. Some of them are just, like, tour guide.
There's some cool names in this Breeders' Cup. Game on, dude. That's a cool
name.
That feels like a first draft to me, Kenny.
Mucho Macho Man's a pretty cool name.
That one I like.
So, um, this is my first Breeders' Cup, you guys. What do you think I should do
today?
Just have fun.
And this is the rest of my day.
Bet a little. Make a little.
Yee!
Look at the magnificent animals.
You got this, bud. You got this.
You're my guy. You're my guy.
And get down tonight.
I could get used to this.
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
Who are we rooting for?
We are rooting for The Fugue, number seven.
Come on, seven!
Go! Go!
Fugue! Fugue! Fugue! Fugue! Fugue! Fugue! Fugue!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Go!
Do it!
No! What?
What the ?
That was an emotional rollercoaster, Mondo!
That was an emotional rollercoaster!
We had it, and we blew it at the end.
I'm so upset!
God!
I don't even know who I was rooting for, and I feel hurt.
Can we sing a quick little song about horses?
Horses!
Race!
Here!
Keep your day job!