Name: Whitney Cummings Reviews Pete's Show
Uploaded: 2013-11-15T11:12:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Whitney Cummings Reviews Pete's Show' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Whitney Cummings Reviews Pete's Show' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-11-15. Transcript available.

I just realized that we have never hung out off-camera.
That's true.
We've only spent time together on your podcast and on-camera.
Yes.
This is the most insincere relationship I've ever been in.
I know.
We can only hang out if it's benefiting us in some way.
Our career.
Some external way.
We've literally never hung out off-the-record.
But you have so many things going on.
You co-created...
I am so unemployed, it's ridiculous.
Really?
This is the biggest part of my week.
Look at me.
I am wearing Kim Kardashian's dress from 2005.
I am so desperate.
You look gorgeous.
You're right.
You look like...
I do.
I mean, this is the best it's ever going to get.
So take a good look.
Yes.
Enjoy this.
It's not like...
I mean this as a compliment.
A very sincere compliment.
It's like a sexy Kill Bill.
Oh, I like that.
Right?
Yeah.
The color is a little ridiculous.
It's kind of like wetsuit material, too.
I like that.
I'm ready for anything.
Ready for anything.
You never know what might happen.
No.
Well, how do you...
You have had...
You've had a talk show.
I have had a talk show.
It's really cool to be on your talk show after having my own talk show.
You're doing it very well.
Oh, well.
I like where this is going.
I...
But...
I'm kidding.
You know, something I think America needs to know at home is that Pete does...
There's an audience.
There's a live audience.
There's a live audience.
That's one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those are real people.
And between tapings, you do the warm-up, which means you talk to them.
And most talk show hosts don't do that.
So I don't know if they just didn't tell you yet that you don't have to.
Or that you genuinely just love performing.
I have to keep the plate spinning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
You need that much attention.
You can't not be performing for one second.
Well, that's the genius, is I've masked it as a service.
It's like I have to give and give.
Really, I'm just a whore.
Right?
Well, no.
Sitting next to me in this dress, you're definitely not the whore here.
I would try on that.
But I respect that because I...
Sweeps week is coming up.
Sure.
Here's the thing, though.
I have so much respect for that because you seem so relaxed.
When I had a talk show, I was very stressed out.
I was very anxious.
You, what are you taking?
I mean, you look really relaxed.
I really appreciate that.
I take a few Tylenol PM every morning.
Good.
Just to take the edge off.
I respect that.
Yeah, you don't want to go to bed, but you're just kind of like in a daze all
day.
Yeah.
I mean, and you're just kind of wearing your pajamas.
I mean, you're just sort of like...
Yeah, I'm very casual.
I like how casual you are.
Andy Richter said I looked like a stereo salesman.
Can't help notice you're looking at the bows right there.
I know, yeah.
I mean, you're undershirt, not even...
I mean, there's someone whose only job is to make sure that he looks good.
Yeah.
And I feel like she's not going to put this on her resume.
Oh, no!
Like the top, but I mean, I've been getting ready for three hours, all right?
So I just, you know...
No, I understand.
This is casual.
Yeah.
I respect that.
I think I look good and I'm very happy with wardrobe, but if you came over my
house...
Yeah.
...3 a.m.
If there was cameras there, I would come.
On a new show, wake up my buddy.
Yeah.
Other...
It's on FXX.
Cuddlin' with Pete.
Yeah, Cuddlin' with Pete.
I like that show.
Yeah, come on.
You get a lot of pheromones and pause vibes.
Let's do that, pause vibes.
Pause vibes.
By the way, you can't abbreviate everything you're saying.
People need to understand.
Shurkin'.
I feel like you have your own language going.
You have your own, like, world that I feel like...
It's working.
Yeah, it's obviously...
No, no, I didn't mean it like that.
It's working for my life.
Yeah.
You know, life is dull, unlike Javier Bardem and Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Is that how you pronounce it?
Javier?
Javier.
What do you say?
What is it?
Javier?
I don't know.
Javier?
Javier Bardem, is that?
That's it.
Always thinking of sketch ideas.
Yeah, I respect that.
Caviar Bardem.
You guys, this is how the creative process happens.
You just witnessed it.
That's your sketch for the next episode.
That's going to be a horrible sketch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just thinking about the sketch.
Yeah, no, stay.
Oh, stay with you.
Here's the thing.
I love how you're so, like, playful and all over the place and, like, crazy.
Well, again.
Super unprofessional.
I love it.
As a guest, you're just, like, having panic attacks.
You're like, I have this, like, whole set of things I'm supposed to talk about.
Oh, well, yeah.
No, I don't.
We talked about that on your podcast.
You're more of a control person.
I said...
You're on television, Pete.
Yes.
There's...
This is real.
This is a real show.
I mean, this isn't your podcast in your attic anymore.
You're famous now, you have to just step it up, man.
- I could take it or leave it.
- I mean, like.
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding, you're good.