Name: Moshe Kasher Is An Honorary Deaf
Uploaded: 2013-12-12T14:10:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Moshe Kasher Is An Honorary Deaf' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Moshe Kasher Is An Honorary Deaf' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-12. Transcript available.

I was on the television show, on Showtime's television show Shameless,
wonderful show.
Yes.
And I got, I mean, this was a while ago, but it was exciting to get the
audition
because, like, my parents are deaf, as you know, both my parents are deaf,
super into
hip-hop.
And like, I was, but that's true, my parents are both deaf, so I'm fluent in
sign language,
I grew up, you know, and I got the role for this character, it was, the
character's name
was Ruben, he was a deaf, crack-addicted, paraplegic, former gay prostitute,
with AIDS, and I thought,
perfect.
I thought, if I don't get this role, there's something wrong with the Hollywood
system.
I was like, I get, I got this role, for sure, because I know sign language,
there's no way
anyone's gonna beat me out for this role, but I, and I go to the audition room,
I sit down,
it's like all deaf actors, everybody else is a real deaf man, like, they're all,
they're
all the real thing, you know what I mean?
Yes.
They're all, I mean, it's like if you got a call to, like, be in, like, Amistad,
and
you were like, yeah, a white boy that's like, I'm just really down with hip-hop,
I'll get
this role, and then you get there and everybody's like, not here, you know what
I mean?
So I go in, and I just, I was like, oh no, because I thought about, because I,
I went
in, I did the audition, killed it, no, but I, I got the role and I just felt,
like, guilty,
because, just think about it, you know, like, you're a deaf, here you are, you're
a deaf actor,
you make the move to Hollywood to really commit to acting, already like a, a
pretty difficult,
questionable life choice, you know what I mean, like, it's already tough, you
get, and all
you ever get is these auditions for, like, Sesame Street, and Touched by an
Angel, and, and,
you know, Highway to Heaven, and that's been off the air for 25 years, but you're,
and finally,
you get a role for a Showtime show, you're like, something needy, and then this
hearing
asshole walks out of the room, like, ah, do you know this sign, everybody?
I felt, I felt bad, but I did my time in the trenches, I, I mean, I, my parents
are deaf,
I was a sign language interpreter, I, you're an honorary deaf, I am, I, people
are getting
weird right now, I don't know why, you, you literally, this audience literally
has no idea
if this is true, but I am, I'm like an official, hearing people with deaf
parents are like, sort
of like, kind of like, light deaf, you know what I mean, like, is that the sign
for justifying
why you got the role.
But I, I, I, I was an interpreter for a long time, I mean, I, I wanted to,
actually, there's
a funny, I thought I would, I wanted to show you some of my favorite signs,
please, just
to prove to the audience that feels weird right now, that I'm, I'm the real
thing, I mean,
so, so, my, my name sign, so everybody has a name sign, I thought maybe I'd
give you one
at one point, but it's M, this is M for, M for Moshe.
Looks like you're starting a puppet show.
Again, very disrespectful.
That's M for Moshe, so my mom, of course, gave me my, my name sign, so she, so
she, it
was M, M for Moshe, because she knew that I would have a big old dick, like,
she knew,
no, it's not, it's M for smart, it's smart, smart, like that.
It's up here?
Yeah, it's up here.
Oh, so she goes like that?
No, no, she's not a Marine.
She was in the Royal Navy for the Grand Game in Islands, but she's not a Marine.
But, so.
You're a callback city.
Welcome to town.
I, uh, and then I just want to show you some cool ones.
Yeah.
Like this one, this is my favorite, this is Reflection.
R-E-F-L-E-C-T-I-O-N. Reflection, right?
Really?
Couldn't it just be anything as long as you're doing it?
Thanks, dude.
I'm just kidding.
Isn't this...
Isn't this...
Isn't this hungry?
Well, that's, that's actually horny.
This is hungry.
Your stomach.
Horny.
Horny.
Horny.
Like, but you got to do the face.
Oh.
Oh.
That's actually horny.
This is hungry.
Your stomach.
Horny.
Horny.
Like, but you got to do the face.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's, I had a stroke.
That's a totally different...
We have time for one question.
You're a, you're a ladies man.
You're a ladies man.
What is, what is your ratio breaking up to being broken up with?
You want to try that question again?
No.
What, uh, what is my...
I thought I communicated it well.
My ratio to breaking...
How many women have I broken up with?
As opposed to being dumped.
Oh, being dumped.
Yeah.
No, I've never...
I don't know what that's...
What is that?
You've never been dumped?
You've never been dumped?
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...
I don't know what that's...