Name: Pete's Super Bowl Checklist
Uploaded: 2014-02-01T00:06:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pete's Super Bowl Checklist' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pete's Super Bowl Checklist' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-02-01. Transcript available.

Hey everybody, it's Pete Holmes and Matt McCarthy from The Pete Holmes Show.
Here to give you some Super Bowl tips because Matt is a Super Bowl party expert.
Welcome, Matt.
Thank you, Pete.
You get it?
What?
Welcome.
Welcome, Matt.
Welcome.
Wipe your feet on it.
Did you wipe your feet on the welcome, Matt?
Tell them some of your tips, Matt.
Right off the bat, the most important thing for your Super Bowl party.
Shouldn't it be like a football analogy?
Right out of the quarterback's hand with spin.
Right out of the snap, first thing you need for your Super Bowl party, booze.
Booze.
What you need is booze at your party.
Get yourself a nice cooler, get a few beers.
It's not the healthiest choice.
Alcohol's a toxin.
It's the Super Bowl, you gotta drink booze.
I guess.
Instead, how about something that's actually good for your body, like kombucha?
This isn't a weird, confusing signal to sense your liver on a Sunday afternoon.
This is something that your body will thank you for.
There's no booze in that.
Actually, there is.
It's 0.5% alcohol.
At Whole Foods, they will card you.
Okay.
So you got no booze.
Well, 0.5 is a little bit.
Just enough, some would say.
So, snacks.
Very important for your Super Bowl party.
Chips and dips.
Pizza.
Hot wings.
The hotter the better.
Those don't really sound like heart-healthy options.
Potato.
It's the CEO of your whole body, so you gotta keep him happy.
And I don't think he said, "Bring me some wings."
Okay, well, it's just one day.
Yeah, but you know what they say, "Buffalo wing today, full buffalo chicken
tomorrow."
Nobody says that.
It's a gateway poultry.
It's not a thing.
It is a thing.
Why not something more whole, like kale?
A lot of vitamin K, good for your skin.
Right, like these would be good to put your hot wings on, so the sauce doesn't
know.
Look, we're coming back to the earth.
It's what we call a whole food.
Okay, you got no booze, you got no snacks.
Little bit of booze.
The most important thing for the Super Bowl Sunday party is the TV.
I think it's the people.
Connection.
Big screen.
Saying it's more about the community.
High definition.
Maybe play it on the radio, quietly, so you can have more interesting
conversations
rather than rooting for a team you have no control over.
No, no.
It's Super Bowl Sunday.
That's the other thing.
You watch the game on a...
Does it have to be on Sunday?
Yes, the game is on Sunday.
It's Super Bowl Sunday.
I don't really like having a big party on a Sunday,
because on Monday you're grumpy and less productive.
I say Super Bowl Saturday.
And then move the Super Bowl to Saturday.
We have to get all worked up, blood vessels popping.
Go Seahawks!
Are they playing?
Is it the Seahawks?
Lions?
Is it the...
All right, you know what?
You're out of your mind, okay?
You guys...
Super Bowl Saturday?
Yeah.
With kale and kombucha.
Kombucha.
And you know what?
Enjoy your freak show Super Bowl Saturday party.
I'm out.
I'm going to go watch football.
With the rest of America!
He's a fun time at the movies.
I'd love to sketch him.