Name: Street Fighter Red Tape: Ryu
Uploaded: 2014-02-17T22:52:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Street Fighter Red Tape: Ryu' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Street Fighter Red Tape: Ryu' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-02-17. Transcript available.

Ryu? Ryu? Ryu. Ryu. Ryu.
We are broadcasting this fighting tournament globally, so Standards and Practices
is going to need a written transcript of everything you say when you're
fighting, just so we can make sure it's cleared for appropriate audiences.
Is that something we can do?
True.
Okay, great. So why don't you just tell me everything you'll be saying?
Okay. When I throw my fireball, I say, "Haduken!"
"Haduken." "Haduken." Okay?
What else?
When I uppercut, I say, "Shooyuken!" "Shooyuken." Okay. What else?
My hurricane kick, I say, "Haduken!"
What?
what what oh oh it's i use garnier fructus no no no i'd like a fruit cup i take
a fruit look at
that fat kid i'd like some high fructose corn no no no no no it's i take your
fruit attack the
fruity kid wow wow you can't be saying attack the fruity kid no i'm not saying
attack the fruity kid
help me help you could you could you please just spell it for me t t s o that's
so uh exclamation
mark oh it keeps going there's a q nobody heard a q in there so there's an exclamation
point in the
middle of the word it's an ancient japanese word so it's really hard to spell
with english letters
you don't know what you're saying of course you don't know what you're saying
of course i do it's
just really hard to spell you made a mistake you said it once and you've been
saying it ever since
to cover your ass yes okay that's fine i just think that's going to be a bit of
a problem because if
you don't know what it means for all we know it means i hate the jews you don't
hate the jews okay
luckily s p has sent over a pre-approved list of things you could say when you
do your hurricane kick
um how's how's about this one my spinny kick will kick you and hurt a lot i can't
say that i need to
strike fear in my opponents how about my fierce foot will attack your ass i don't
think that'll ever
fly um it's a little blue how about um feel the wrath of my little piggies
making contact with
your punum no a what a what put them it's yiddish do you hate the jews how
about uh my hurricane of
flesh will pound your ass okay what's with you and asses it's my fighting style
did you say fighting
style or lifestyle you know i said fighting style it's just a little confusing
you're always chumming it up
with ken training rolling running scruffing here how about this legal sent this
over your face if
we're close no i i'm i'm sticking with that jeff ruke listen ryu if you don't
pick one of these
pre-approved fight statements we can't let you in the tournament i know you
have a vendetta with sagat
you got to solve that you want another go at him don't you give him another
scar okay i'll take the
punum one okay good choice punum i like that two u's in that word good for scrabble
if you're playing
with a rabbi it's official take that to legal and uh lay off the asses okay you're
the popular one
even though you look like the karate kid your name sounds like a noise arnold
schwarzenegger would
make if you poked him go