Name: Street Fighter Red Tape: Vega
Uploaded: 2014-03-04T08:41:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Street Fighter Red Tape: Vega' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Street Fighter Red Tape: Vega' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-04. Transcript available.

so vega vega vega vega i'm looking over your form 2a here a request for
additional apparatus or
equipment within the street fighter 2 tournament also heretofore known as sf2
street fighter 2
champion edition turbo at all um if i'm understanding correctly you would like
to
fight with a weapon i want to use my sorry sorry sorry can you take that mask
off please
i want to use my clown jesus you you want to fight with this claw
okay that looks very dangerous it is all my foes will fall beneath this mighty
sharpness yeah i do
believe that if you go into a street fighting tournament with an unarmed person
they would
fall pretty quickly if you stab them with three blades at the same time yes it
is very powerful
my clown okay stop with the gesturing it's very deadly i have full control over
my clothes
see that i'm sorry that is so modifying do you understand that could have been
e honda's love
handle this is a hand-to-hand tournament not a hand-to-claw tournament we we
have brawlers kung
fu fighters you want to fight with the equivalent of three butcher knives strapped
to your fist i mean
the liability insurance alone on that is is astronomical are you saying i
cannot have my
crow yeah that's basically what i'm saying is i'm denying your form to use a clow
but i need my clow
it is an integral part of my matter or fighting style oh it's it's your
fighting style see and it
says here you also want to fight with that mask you have yes i need my mask and
why why do you need it
because i must protect my beautiful face okay why not just wear a full suit of
knight's armor
or just ride into the arena in a tank a tank would be actually very useful oh
my god i would be the
guy with the tank fighting style i leap i leap i jump i punch tank what okay so
no to the tank but may
i still use my clothes okay listen to what you're asking right now you want to
go into an arena
with chun lee an unarmed woman and stab her you want to roll roll roll roll
stab she drops dead
that's a liability nightmare it's a pr catastrophe it's a no but stabbing is
how i fight i stay with my
claw i protect my face with my mask these are the things that make vega vega
also i am very sexually
open okay no vega you're lost my friend listen if you want to gash and straight
up maul people with
blades maybe maybe this isn't the tournament for you maybe i could suggest uh
mortal combat same floor
two doors down talk to verne you can kill people tomorrow maybe i will talk to
this verne oh good yeah
well well good luck fighting sub-zero if he wins you're going to be standing
there for a minute then
he's going to rip your beautiful head off with your spinal cord dangling down
so good luck good luck with
that i like your big braid by the way does your father keep you locked inside
of a tower are you
waiting for the right man on his steed can you hear this are you waiting for
the right man on his steed you
cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating cheating
cheating cheating cheating cheating