Name: Street Fighter Red Tape: Chun-Li
Uploaded: 2014-03-11T07:42:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Street Fighter Red Tape: Chun-Li' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Street Fighter Red Tape: Chun-Li' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-11. Transcript available.

Chan Lee. Hi. Hi. Hi. I have to say this is a welcome break for me. I've been
seeing just a
bunch of burly, gross, sweaty, gross men all day. It's just kind of like
someone opened
a window in the attic and there's flowers like a floral... Sorry, what is this
regarding?
Of course. Let's go right to business. Why get to know each other? Listen, I do
actually
have a little bit of business and this does not come from me. This does not
come from me.
Anything coming from me is going to be sprayed with cologne and starting with "Dear
My Love."
Some of the people watching the fights think you're dressed provocative. They
think you're
too provocative. Provocative? How? Some people, again not me, are saying that
you look like
you're the hostess at a slutty Benihana. Somebody else said that you look like
a milkmaid that
works at Hot Topic. And a third man from Bloomington, Indiana says you look
like a sea skank. What?
You look like a sea skank. Again, I could not disagree more. And if I do agree,
it's in the
good way. Alright, well this is a big double standard because Zangief, he
fights with boots and a speedo on.
But Zangief's special move is not flipping upside down, opening his legs, and
spinning for everybody
to see your business. You mean my spinning bird kick? Yeah, I just had it down
as the making teenage
boys horny kick. It's a kenpo move. It brings honor to the tournament. Brings
boner to the tournament?
No, honor. Boner? No, I said honor. Make more sense if you said boner. I'm just
saying the only
way it could be more inappropriate is if your tights wear pink and you painted
a labia on your crotch.
What? Don't get me wrong, I love it. Well, it's one of my moves and I don't
think it's inappropriate.
Chun-Li, listen, I love the move. I love the move. But, you know, we're trying
to appeal to a wide range
of demographics, religious beliefs, conservative values. So, you know, if you
want to keep doing it,
you might want to put on like a pair of slacks. No, I'm not doing that. I don't
think it's
inappropriate. This is my traditional Chinese chi pao. Yeah, but it's how you
use your traditional
outfits. Like, these are traditional work khakis, but if I stood up and took
out my penis and flapped
it around and just called it my special move, we might get a complaint or two.
Maybe not for me,
maybe that's something you'd like to arrange. No, no, that's not, no, this is
ridiculous. I'm the
strongest woman in the world. And the hottest. Look, let me run this upstairs,
see what I can do.
In the meantime, that is my home number. Call me anytime. If a woman answers,
hang up, call back in 10
minutes. Okay. By the way, I love your buns. What? Your buns. I love your buns.
I also love
your candy ass. I'm so sorry. Okay. Wait, one more. Just so you know, anytime
what I'm trying
to say, the headline of this whole interaction is, I am down for some fun in
the chun.
Wow. Wow.
She's so hot.