Name: Adam Pally: Mission Masturbation
Uploaded: 2014-05-06T08:03:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Pally: Mission Masturbation' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Pally: Mission Masturbation' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-06. Transcript available.

you jerk off in your office I've never done it what never I've jerked off with
every almost every other job I've been where are you like what's the big deal
you're blasting shit out of your ass what's the big deal I look I agree I
think there should be jerk-off sweets every men's room I think that should be
an option anytime I have a jerk-off it's I it's like a minute I have like 60
seconds it's like a mission just walks out to deliver a cheese plate to the
guests and you're like oh pretty much pretty much and I think I have such a
good marriage that my wife that we that we know like we know so like my wife
will
be like you have five minutes you can jerk off if you want but then meet me
downstairs because we have to take home to school shut your mouth has she ever
caught you or billions of times and do you stop are you like this is me baby
depends on the that's when the jerks are different I've never been like this is
me
baby she'd be like yeah I know we last time I saw you we're in Texas Texas yeah
a
state hell gig that was a hell gig it felt like a rich person's New Year's Eve
party yes where
they had hired a bunch of comics to just be there because I couldn't hear all I
could hear with a
conversation yeah I couldn't oh I could hear like a mil I think I heard like
four
people say they were going to see Childish Gambino I saw him later that night
with
you so we went we both went to see we're super supportive yeah I know I uh I
knew I'm a
Donald he was 18 and like from the moment we hung out I was like you're Eddie
Murphy you
are the funniest person I've ever met in my life yeah I still think he is yeah
he it's a shame I
think that people don't get to see it because because because he's a music star
but he to me is the
funniest person hands down I've met I like that we said we wanted to support
him when there were like
48 teenage girls that would have cut off my face to see the show oh yeah I want
to see him I went
to like I stopped by like backstage to see him did you get in because I got a
text saying you were
there from Nick to get you well Nick and I didn't actually get in at first and
and I was so pumped
someone told me I was gonna get an Xbox if I showed up did they not give you an
Xbox they did but the
doorman was like we're at full capacity and not that he would know anything but
I was like what about my
Xbox they were giving out Xboxes like left and right I didn't get an Xbox I saw
like three South by
Southwest homeless people get Xbox I want to walk into my room be like Xbox on
go Xbox five minutes
jerk off Xbox is like you have 30 seconds Adam Pally thank you as always coming
back to the show Pete
it's always a pleasure you're welcome anytime cool um do you still need me to
lend you money if I could
talk to you off camera what's the difference again no one watches this we are
basically off camera
Thank you.