Name: Pete Dazzles Jerrod With His Impersonations
Uploaded: 2014-05-08T14:04:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pete Dazzles Jerrod With His Impersonations' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pete Dazzles Jerrod With His Impersonations' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-05-08. Transcript available.

I want to applaud us on not neither of us,
especially me doing a Cosby impression this whole time.
'Cause we're over that.
We're over it.
You know, Obama's president now.
Now I want to do an Obama impression.
I would actually like to see you do an Obama impression.
Doctor, Dr. Cosby, great to meet you.
Zip-a-dip.
I'm so sorry.
You did both.
You did both.
You could've done neither.
But I chose both.
I asked for the Obama.
That's all.
But you did both.
Uh, Obama?
That's my Obama.
He does his name.
Uh, Obama?
When he's picking up food at it.
Uh, Obama?
I didn't think all your impressions are just people saying their own names.
We'll do it another time.
We'll do it another time.
When I become Jon Stewart, he does that a lot.
Yeah.
We'll do it another time.
Do the Jon Stewart again.
Uh, Obama.
All my impressions are people saying Obama.
Are Obama or someone saying Obama.
That's hilarious.
I'm terrified of holding a baby.
Get over it.
I will hold a stranger's baby while I go over the log flume.
I don't give a shit.
Quick question.
Once you give me the baby, by animal law, that's my baby.
Which is the truest thing I've ever heard before.
That's very true.
If a bear gave another bear the baby, it's like, hold this real quick.
That other bear will run off into the wilderness with that baby because that is
now that bear's baby.
Now it's my baby.
Yeah.
You just gave your baby away.
There's no paternal testing for bears.
Yeah.
I have the baby.
Yes.
This is my baby.
Run.
It's so sad that if a bear got its baby stolen, there's no one to call.
There's no...
That is so...
You can't...
Like, think about it.
Think about it.
If you have a bear...
Yeah.
What does a bear do?
Do your bear impression.
Obama.
How close have you been to a bear?
One time I was in a cabin and I heard some rustling.
And I got up and I looked out the window and there was a bear just owning my
garbage.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was really tearing it up.
Hey, let me ask you a question.
Yeah.
What were you doing in that cabin?
Just learning about myself.
I like to think Jesus has a great sense of humor.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Moonwalking on the clouds and Birkenstocks.
I think he moonwalks.
If you were Jesus.
Yeah.
You've been around since all of time.
Mm-hmm.
You got a good moonwalk.
You really just want to take things from the early 80s.
All of time.
But that was his period.
Like, that was his like...
Yeah.
He was just like, yeah.
No, no, no, no.
Caesar was cool.
However.
However.
MJ.
MJ.
Let me tell you about that guy.
That kid has talent.
I do a good MJ.
Do an MJ.
Obama.
Gerard, thank you so much for taking the time to talk, man.
Thank you.
Thank you very much for having me.
Get in me.
You get in me.
That's my man.
Ah, Petey.