Name: Jon Hamm, Chris Redd and Matteo Lane | You Made It Weird Live
Uploaded: 2022-06-08T07:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jon Hamm, Chris Redd and Matteo Lane | You Made It Weird Live' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jon Hamm, Chris Redd and Matteo Lane | You Made It Weird Live' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-08. Transcript available.

Jon Hamm, Chris Redd and Matteo Lane | You Made It Weird Live

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made it
weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made
it weird. With Pete Holmes. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Oh, yeah.
What's happening, weirdos? This is it. This is video episode number two. We're
so excited to be joining you. Obviously, audio, for those of you listening the
original way, I'll call it the original way. But for those of you joining us on
YouTube, this is only our second video episode, and I'm so excited that it's
this one. It's Jon Hamm. You know Jon Hamm from Top Gun Maverick. Jeez, Louise,
Katie, Jon Hamm was right next to us.
We also have Chris Redd from SNL and Mateo Lane, who is incredible and has his
own standalone episode coming up very, very soon. Little did I know, but Chris
and Mateo are very dear friends. So do not make the mistake of flipping off,
flipping off, jumping off, turning it off after Ham, because it goes nuts when
the two of them are on stage together. It's one of the funniest things that's
ever happened.
I loved this episode. And of course, Sweet Lady Val is here co-hosting. So I am
super, super, super, super, super excited for this one. I'm so glad you guys
are here. Only a couple things to plug up top. June 11th is my only standup
date right now. Go to largo-la.com if you'd like to come to Pete Holmes Living
at Largo. It's always amazing.
The last couple, we had Dimitri Martin, Rory Scovel, Amy Schumer, Mulaney. But
regardless of who's there, it's always, always, always me. And it's always,
always, always incredible. And Val is there too. And it's always so fun.
And if you like this show, why not try a Pete's Pick? Because it's video. Look,
I have them. I have them for the camera. This is Ritual Symbiotic.
I didn't want to say it wrong. Ritual Symbiotic Plus. This is my probiotic that
I take every morning. I'm super, super, super into gut health. Your stomach is
basically like a second brain. And it needs stuff that it's not getting in the
food the way food is made these days. So you need to supplement.
I also take Ritual's Multivitamin, which I swear by. I went to my doctor
recently and they were like, your vitamins are off the charts. That is not easy
for me to do as a mostly vegan. So I love their Multivitamin and I love Symbiotic
Plus.
It is a three in one with clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics, and a postbiotic
to support a balanced gut microbiome. It's single nested in a minty capsule.
That means it's a pleasure to take.
It has a minty flavor for simple streamlined gut support. It is designed to
thrive with a delayed release capsule designed to help reach the colon. That
means it's not breaking down in the stomach.
It waits until it gets into your colon, which is the ideal place for prebiotics
and probiotics to survive and grow. And no refrigeration are needed.
In fact, a lot of the ones you see in the grocery store, the reason they're
refrigerated is because they're so fragile. They're probably not going to make
it home.
These are designed with moisture controlled bottle technology to protect the
probiotic strains and handle life in your cupboard with absolutely no problem.
Symbiotic and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide your insides. There's no
shame in your gut game. That's why Ritual is offering weirdos 10% off during
your first three months.
Visit Ritual.com/weird to start Ritual or add Symbiotic Plus to your
subscription today like I did. Val steals mine. We've just added two bottles to
my monthly supply because she loves it so much too.
Show you support the show. Go to Ritual.com/weird.
And let's talk about clothes. But let's talk about clothes in a different way.
Let's talk about the plastic problem.
Plastic is a huge global crisis on this planet we call Earth. If it's not piling
up in a landfill, it's incinerated and driving up greenhouse gases or broken
down into micro plastics that end up in the oceans, end up in our drinking
water and our food chains.
So you probably know that and you're probably careful about your plastic
consumption, but you're probably overlooking the plastics from synthetic
materials that are hiding in our closets that are in our clothes, not this
clothes, not these clothes.
This is made by Everlane baby. Everlane is here to help this issue and make
fantastic clothes. This is, this is my Everlane sweater. It is my favorite
sweater. It is the sweater that Val requests the most, the most when we go on
dates.
Everlane has made it 90% of the way to having no new plastics in their entire
apparel, footwear and packaging supply chain, 90% the way there.
No plastics. That's incredible to combat the last 10% that currently doesn't
have quality alternatives. They've created the nest collective, a fellowship
program to boost innovation for ending new plastics in the fashion industry.
I love Everlane's commitment to ethical factories. It's clothing that you can
feel good about buying and a company you can feel good about supporting and
their new, their no new plastic efforts so far has been incredible.
A hundred percent of their shipping packaging is made from either a hundred
percent recycled plastic or FSC certified paper.
95% of the apparel materials containing polyester and nylon are made from
certified recycled fibers and more than 1 million pounds of nylon and 9 million
plastic bottles have been recycled by this wonderful company.
They also just happened to make some of the best looking, best fitting, best
feeling clothing that I've ever owned in my life, but I absolutely love how
transparent and upfront they are and how ethical they are as a company.
So be a part of the movement for more sustainable clothing and frankly, look
pretty frigging great while you do it.
Go to everlane.com/weird and sign up for 10% off your first order.
That's 10% off your first order when you go to everlane.com/weird and sign up.
All right.
That's it.
I paused there big time.
Guys, I'm so excited for you to see this live episode.
Thank you to all the weirdos who came out in person.
And I really, really enjoy that you guys are here.
What am I?
Not an English speaking person?
I really, really enjoy that you guys are the ones that are here.
Enjoy Jon Hamm.
Enjoy Chris Redd, Matteo Lane, Sweet Lady Val.
Get into it.
Don't know about the future.
That's anybody's guess.
Ain't no good reason for getting all depressed.
Fire up your pen and pencil.
I give you a piece of my mind.
In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine.
It's the theme to Blossom.
No one guessed the theme from Blossom.
But there it is.
Can you do your best Blossom dance right now?
I don't have a baggy enough sweater.
Yeah, we can't do it.
That was, we clearly couldn't.
Do Jambi from Pete.
Joey.
Oh.
Valerie.
Whoa.
There it is.
Alright.
This is not cool.
We did not enter cool.
This was not.
What isn't cool?
Like I feel like we were just like very awkward with our bodies.
And then I did like.
No, I know.
A baggy impression.
It's not you made it composed, baby doll.
Oh, that's true.
It's not you made it.
You made it weird.
That's right.
Are we expecting an applause there?
Nope.
Okay.
If I wanted that, I'd go, let's have a Joe Rogan experience.
And then we just eat venison shot with a bow.
Who, who brought the bow venison jerky?
Nobody.
Good to be here.
Hello.
Where they shot the mask?
Question mark?
I think this is where Cameron Diaz sang and he was like, somebody stop me.
Yeah.
I got greedy.
I went for two mask laughs.
You're lucky.
You're lucky you got the one.
And you guys were generous to give me one.
Uh-huh.
Wow.
Thanks for keeping us on.
It's good for you masks.
We just had it.
Everyone else.
You'll be fine.
Yeah.
Wow.
That was a real frequency.
You guys all just admitted.
We were like, don't make us think about it.
Play the blossom theme again, please.
We need a palate cleanser.
Just kidding.
Who knows the first line of the blossom theme?
Joke's on you.
It's for a hundred K.
Uh-huh.
So you're going to drive home and be like, don't know about the future.
That's anybody's guess.
I think the only thing people know from the blossom theme is the word opinionation.
That's correct.
Yeah.
Can we all say happy Valentine's Day to Valerie?
Just kidding.
Happy Mother's Day to Valerie, everybody.
That's ridiculous.
No.
And to all the moms here.
Thank you.
I mean, is there anything more loaded or nuanced than mothers?
Like, it feels like a...
Oh, yeah.
It's like a tone deaf kind of thing.
Like, yeah, like everybody has a complicated relationship with their mother or
a complicated
relationship with being a mother or with like not being a mother.
It's too, it's too complicated.
Why are we...
Completely agree.
Completely agree.
I feel like it's just, I mean, obviously it's like a greeting card thing, right?
They...
Yes.
They were like, you can buy this card and give it to your mother being like, I
wish I
meant this.
Aww.
Too sad?
That was a great riff.
Too sad?
I wish I meant this.
Yeah.
Really hard to hear.
I'm sorry.
I brought it down.
For a lot of us.
After you guys said Happy Mother's Day to me too and I just took it dark right
away.
Don't know about the future.
That's anybody's guess.
Is this voice okay?
Okay.
How's everybody doing?
I'm not getting canceled for doing a great impression of the Blossom theme song.
Oh my God.
It didn't hurt.
It's a YouTube clip.
I really hope somebody was filming that and can make it a GIF.
Of course they were.
There's cameras in the back.
Oh, excellent.
We'll make it into a GIF.
I'm not getting canceled.
Yeah.
And then...
Yeah, there you go.
Thank you very much.
I will sell it as an NFT.
I will sell it as an NFT.
Still don't know what an NFT is.
Anybody?
I don't know.
He already bought it.
It's like diving to like, so everybody thinks they could be the one to teach me
how to dive
and I've never been able to learn.
What do you mean dive?
Oh, dive off a board.
Yeah.
Everybody thinks that they can be the one to teach me an NFT and I can't retain
it.
I just, I guess I just don't care.
No, you shouldn't care.
I wouldn't be interested in you as a partner if you cared.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, I really do classify like NFT, Bitcoin.
Still, are those the same?
Who knows?
All with like Wim Hof and cold plunging.
Like this is the same type of person.
Okay.
Shots fired.
I love those things and I'm married to him and we just don't talk about those
things.
I don't know how I feel about this on mother's day.
It's not your day.
It's my day to say what I really feel.
That's right.
It's your day.
NFTs are for those of us who are tired of tokens getting funged all the time.
Look, he's got to go early.
We're going to bring him right out.
Are you ready for motherfucking John Hamm?
John Hamm!
You made it weird.
You made it weird.
There's no music.
You made it weird.
John Hamm.
You made it weird.
You made it weird.
Don't scare the way!
Don't scare the way!
You made it weird.
John Hamm.
You made it weird.
You made it weird.
You made it weird.
You made it weird.
John Hamm.
Oh!
There you fuckers are!
I would like you to look at this chair.
Oh, I looked at it.
Okay.
It's...
It's sconced in jizz.
I would like you to look at this chair.
Oh, I looked at it.
Okay.
It's sconced in jizz.
Yeah.
Like, it's not a bit.
No, it really...
There's jizz.
That is jizz.
So either, like, a bird came in here and came all over the chair.
That's as likely as an owl killing Kathleen Peterson.
Have a seat.
I was just going to make that joke.
You knew I was going to say that?
I was going to say that joke.
Also, did you, like, have the experience I had,
which is I didn't even know there were people up in the balcony
until John Hamm walked out and then a whole crew.
Yeah, those are the Hamm fans.
They got Hamm price tickets.
That's half price.
Just bring any slice of Hamm to any show that I'm appearing on.
You get them free.
Hamm makes everything better.
Hamm is delicious and it makes everything better, and you're welcome.
Yeah.
That's right.
John Hamm.
Port.
Po