Name: Melissa Rauch | You Made It Weird
Uploaded: 2022-11-16T17:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Melissa Rauch | You Made It Weird' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Melissa Rauch | You Made It Weird' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-16. Transcript available.

Melissa Rauch | You Made It Weird

You made it weird, you made it weird, you made it weird, oh yeah.
You made it weird, you made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, oh yeah.
You made it weird, you made it weird, you made it weird, yes you did, you made
it weird, oh yeah.
What is happening weirdos? This is Melissa Rauch, Rauch Pouch, as I like to
call her.
Melissa and I have most recently worked together on the upcoming reboot, or it's
not a reboot, it's a continuation, I guess, of the original Night Court, which
is also called Night Court.
But we knew each other a long time ago on a little show, on a little ditty
about Jack and Diane called Best Week Ever, which was one of my first gigs ever,
so we get in ever, which we get into as well.
But you also may know her from Big Bang Theory or just comedy in general, she
is a delight.
I'm so excited you guys are here, I really, really loved this episode.
And only a couple things to plug up top.
First of all, a thanks to every weirdo that came out to the shows in Chicago,
at the Den, it was some of the best shows of the tour.
I really, really loved my weekend in Chicago, so thank you, thank you, thank
you to everybody that came out.
Next up is San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, Charlotte, and Washington,
D.C.
Go to PeteHolmes.com for tickets to those, and hopefully I'll be adding more
cities soon.
So PeteHolmes.com if you want to come see, come see about me.
What?
Who references the song, come see about me?
That is ridiculous.
If you like this show, despite its references to the oldies song, come see
about me, why not try a Pete's Pick?
The best way to support the show is to try one of our beloved sponsors like our
friends at Mint Mobile.
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The first time I read this, I was like, that's a typo.
It's $15 a month.
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Just so switch to Mint Mobile and get premium wireless service starting at just
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Buy any three-month mint mobile plan and get three months free by going to mintmobile.com
slash weird.
That's mintmobile.com slash weird.
Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash weird and show
your support of the show.
The other Pete's pick to mention here up top, no surprise that I'm wearing it.
For those of you watching this on video, this is my Apollo Neuro.
You guys know I am nuts about Apollo Neuro.
It's the gift we give most frequently to kids, to grown-ups.
I absolutely love it.
It is a game-changer.
What is it?
It is a piece of wearable tech that helps your body recover from stress.
It can help you relax, sleep, focus, and be more productive.
It's like a wearable hug for the nervous system using touch therapy to help you
feel safe and in control.
I wear mine on the wrist.
Val wears hers on her ankle.
I like wearing it.
I like telling people about it because it helps so many of my friends.
Apollo Neuro delivers gentle, soothing, I would say even almost sub-perceptual
vibrations.
You don't notice that it's doing it other than how you feel that train your
nervous system to recover and rebalance after stress.
For example, when I was just in Chicago, on the plane the whole time, I just
have it rocking on, relax, and unwind.
There's so much stress on your body, the pressurized cabin, the up and the down
and the length of the flight.
Having it on relax and unwind the whole ride helps me, exactly, relax and unwind.
But it's just this little electronic reminder to your body, like relax, relax,
relax, relax, and helps you ease into your situation.
So it sends those vibrations that can help you with energy and wake up.
You'll feel that one.
That one is not sub-perceptual.
It's like espresso, but on your wrist.
Social and open is a wonderful setting.
It's usually what I have it on when I'm recording podcasts like these.
Clear and focused has been shown to help combat some of the symptoms of ADD,
ADHD.
Rebuild and recover, incredible after a workout or perhaps a trying phone call
with your parents.
Meditation and mindfulness.
I always say if it only helped you meditate as deeply as it helps me meditate,
I would be shouting it from the rooftops.
That's just one of the settings, but meditation and mindfulness, you don't even
have to be meditating to put it on that.
Sometimes I'll just put it on that when I'm walking around the park and I want
to drop into my body a little bit more easily.
Relax and unwind, as I mentioned, and sleep and renew.
I sleep with it on.
The only time I charge it is when I'm in the shower.
That's all I really need.
When I wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes for Leela to go to the
bathroom to get back in bed, push these two buttons, it reruns the program and
lulls me back to sleep.
Just as a sleep kit, as a sleep tool, I guess I mean.
Apollo is absolutely worth it, but it does all of those things.
Actually training your nervous system to cope with stress better over time.
The more you use it, the better it works.
And I always like to point out, this is not sold in crystal shops.
This is hard science.
It was developed by a neuroscientist and board-certified psychiatrist who have
been studying the impacts of chronic stress in humans for nearly 15 years.
And Apollo's effects on sleep, stress, cognitive performance, and recovery have
been proven in multiple clinical trials and real-world studies.
So this is not woo-woo.
This is the real deal, and I absolutely love it.
You can get 10% off and show your support of the show by going to apolloneuro.com
slash weird.
That's A-P-O-L-L-O-N-E-U-R-O dot com slash weird for 10% off and to show your
support of this show.
All right, everybody.
Enjoy Melissa Rauch, one of my favorite chats in a long time.
She's a delight.
Can't wait for you to watch or listen.
Hopefully both.
Don't watch this on mute.
It won't make any sense.
Get into it.
If there's ever been a guest that was right for the couch.
This is perfect.
Like you can, like the little baby bird you are.
Yes!
This is a little nook.
I didn't know until I saw it that I've been waiting for that.
This is a perfect little nook.
Look at all the pillows.
You can have a little fort.
See, it's supposed to be like a little sleepover.
Just, what can you see of me?
This is lovely.
I don't mind it at all.
See, that's what I want.
We have a lot of, you can tell a lot about a person.
Like I watch comedians in cars getting coffee just to see what they order for
breakfast.
Like that's like the main thing I'm interested in.
Like I don't really care like what Steve Harvey's favorite car is.
You know what I'm saying?
Like that's fine.
But breakfast?
I want to know what he orders.
I want to see how he orders it and what he orders.
Not just Steve Harvey, all of them.
And with the guests on our show, I really like to see their relationship to the
Nissan Verano.
That's the name of the couch.
Oh, I love that.
It's a Crate and Barrel Verano.
Okay.
But it sounds like a car to me.
So I call it the Nissan Verano.
How did I do?
This is it.
This is a dream.
Okay.
Like no smoke, no smoke blown.
I could have messed it up.
No.
Nobody's wrong.
Because I could have perched.
You could perch.
Because a lot of times like when I go to meetings and stuff because I don't
reach the floor.
Yeah.
A lot of times when I go to meetings, so I do like I sit on the edge so that I'm
not sitting
like this the whole time, which is very embarrassing as a grown woman to be
talking business and just
your legs doing a dangle.
Like a ventriloquist tell me.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
It's not great.
So I'm very awkward in meetings because I'm often just perching on the edge.
Yes.
If there's a, I have a choice.
I could dangle or just perch.
How do you find it being a wee?
Because I'll tell you this.
Yeah.
Let's get Scottish.
Okay.
I, when you pulled up, I don't think, when I think of you, I don't think of you
as a,
as a very small person.
You don't?
No.
I mean, I know you are, but then I guess let's put it this way.
Every time I see you, I go like, oh right, it's, it's even more.
Because you also see, you oftentimes see me in heels too.
Yeah.
And today I'm not at all.
Even that.
Yeah.
But I like seeing regular Rouch.
Thank you.
Normal Rouch.
Thank you.
How's your day today?
How are you feeling today?
Today.
Like, how's your morning?
It's a good day.
Is it?
Yeah, I was excited to see you.
I'm excited to see you too.
So yeah, I think it's a, it's a good day.
I don't, like I woke up and felt just to, just to give you an example of how
much minutiae
I'm interested in.
Tell me, tell me, tell me.
This is how safely you can, I woke up and I was like, we traveled, we were in
New Mexico
with, with Lila.
We brought Lila and she's, she's four now.
And it was the first trip we've taken where it still felt like a vacation.
Cause she slept in one of the mornings and we were like, what is happening?
That's amazing.
It was a real, we turned a real corner, but then I'm 43.
I mean, Hollywood years, I'm 27.
Is that even a thing anymore?
You're ageless.
You are ageless.
Get real.
You're a boy forever.
Get real.
You're the Peter Pan of comedy.
Oh, Peter Pan Holmes.
Did I just coin you a new name?
I think you did.
Pan Holmes.
Just drop the Peter, just Pan Holmes.
But, um, I like just, just traveling, just one little flight.
It's like an hour and a half and I'll wake up the next day and the altitude
difference
and stuff.
And I'm just like, I said to Val this morning, I was like, I feel oppressed.
Like I just feel squished.
But then.
That's a good, that's a good descriptor word.
Oppressed is a good one.
Like you just kind of feel squished.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's how I was feeling.
And then I had a little bit of Chaffee and I had a magic mind.
I got one out if you want it.
Did I ever give you this on?
This is not product placement.
This is my favorite thing in the world.
You're, you absolutely don't have to drink it.
Although it is your size.
That is.
That looks like, just like you got a juice.
I only drink things.
This.
You just went to like a juice store and got like a large juice.
I own, but I only eat tiny things to make me feel like a normal size person.
That's.
Like chicken wings.
That is perfect.
When you go to medieval times, they give you a chicken wing.
Oh.
Let me ask you, how are you with these small jokes?
Because I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable.
Oh, I agree with them.
No, I'm so, it's my comfort zone.
It's totally my comfort zone.
It's a tiny little zone.
So what is.
This is, this, that has a little bit of matcha.
35 milligrams of caffeine, but it also has nootropics and adaptogens.
You told me about this stuff.
Are you into adaptogens just in general?
Because they're real game changers.
I, I gotta say, because now they're coming out with all of these adaptogens.
It's in everything.
Right?
It's in everything now.
Like doing pseudo wines with the.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you mean like non-alcoholic wines?
Yeah, yeah.
I've seen thos