Name: Tom Papa | You Made It Weird
Uploaded: 2022-12-14T16:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Papa | You Made It Weird' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Papa | You Made It Weird' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-14. Transcript available.

Tom Papa | You Made It Weird

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh yeah. You made it
weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Oh yeah. You made it
weird. With Pete Holmes. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Oh yeah.
What's happening, weirdos? This is the return of one of my favorite humans and
favorite comedians, Tom Papa, who has a new Netflix special coming out on
December 13th. It's called What a Day. What a Day. Tom Papa, colon, what a day.
Check it out and check out everything Tom has ever done, including You're Doing
Great, his other special on Netflix. He's just one of the best around. And this
isn't like a getting to know Tom, this episode. This is like a hang.
He and I hung and hung and it went to like a really interesting conversation
about the ego that I was not expecting, that he was not expecting. And it was,
it really stood, stood, stuck. It stuck with me. And I really hope you guys
like it. I'm excited for you to hear it. If you want to see me live before we
get to it. If you like, well, if you like standup comedy, come see me. I'm
going to be in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, Charlotte, and
Washington, DC. Tickets to all of those will be, are, are currently at PeteHolmes.com.
And if you like the podcast, it's the season to give a weirdo a gift of a Pete's
pick or give yourself a Pete's pick. These are actually products that I
actually use and actually love like the perfect jean, which is exactly what it's
called. The perfect jean.
I've been looking for these pants my entire life. I literally own five pairs of
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They look like designer jeans, but they're only 60 bucks with the promo code,
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These are 2% spandex, 2.5% rayon. There I got it out. And they provide extra
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Never said that before.
Last but not least, do you like podcasts? Sure you do. Maybe even thinking
about even starting a podcast or maybe recording a music album. That's what
people call the music albums.
Or maybe you want to do some voiceover for that cartoon you want to upload to
YouTube. I don't know. But chances are you want high quality studio sound
without paying high ass studio prices. Well, luckily our friends at Blue Microphones
have got you covered.
I'm currently speaking into a Blue Microphone. That's why I sound so fantastic.
This is a Blue Sona XLR mic for podcasters. It is incredible. And even before
we had these guys, for years we were recording this podcast on their most
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Even if you're new to recording. It's also the only USB mic that I found that
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any blue microphone.
That's blue mic.com and show your support of the show. All right, guys, be sure
to check out Tommy pops on December 13th and hope to see you on the road. In
the meantime, enjoy this chat, get into it, just cross your legs and get on the,
get on the fucking couch. Really? You don't have to. Everybody does what you do.
Go ahead. Be the little boy.
Little boy.
With my shoes off.
You don't have to.
I can keep my shoes on.
You can shoes on, on the couch.
No.
Look at this couch.
That's amazing.
This is my single guy couch.
Oh, it's filled with cum.
I've just all, every, every inch of this cum, of this cum.
It actually is cum.
You know how like old people.
This is a black couch.
There's the riff.
I went to the plastic covered furniture.
You went right to the gem.
This is a black couch.
Well, thanks for opening with jizz.
And we are recording.
I didn't open with jizz.
You did.
That's true.
But this is my, this is a filthy couch is all I was trying to say.
It's not, it's not actually filthy and it's not actually covered in the J word.
I have a chair in my living room that was from my apartment in New York.
And it is like, and we just said last night that it's really like, it's not a
good chair.
We all love the chair.
Who's who's my wife and I were like, we love the chair, love the jam, but it's
not a good
chair.
It's your college room chair that you just love.
And it's, it's probably got levels of dirt.
You can't even see, but it's, but it's, should I, are we allowed to keep that
as adults in
our living room?
I'm saying make it into your podcast set.
Yeah.
You're almost zero effort podcast set.
I'm, it's a great, a nice podcast set.
I need a new podcast set for make baking bread with Tom Papa.
Yeah, because, uh, yeah, the angle is not good.
It's not flattering.
You mean it's not flattering for you.
My whole existence is just, please somebody look how high these babies are.
Yeah.
Just don't catch me this angle.
Don't you don't want the travel neck pillow of flesh.
Exactly.
The Pelican angle.
My own podcast.
Yeah.
Your, that's what I used to say.
You have the pillow right there on the Pete Holm show.
I was like, please raise the camera.
So, so much of my life is like, I am not the same size as you.
Like I am so much taller than whoever the stand was or whoever you did the
lighting for.
Right.
Triple it.
Yeah.
Triple it.
And that's what Val and I, Val and I are always eating the same size meal.
Right.
I am not the same size as you.
I'm a giant.
I'm a giant.
Help me out.
And I did, I recorded my podcast in New York in the comedy seller podcast
studio and I looked
great.
It was like shot in this nice angle.
And I was like, oh, I'd be so much more popular if people thought this was who
I was.
If I told them this lie instead of the other.
Right.
Exactly.
This is a better lie.
It's a much better lie.
So I'm thinking of trying to get a space for the new year maybe.
Hey, maybe we could do it together.
Because Katie and I were just saying it's like, maybe it's time for like a
proper space.
Yeah.
And if you have it be like a swing set, you can have different shows.
Yeah.
Oh, that could be great.
It'll smell like me.
And I'm like a little closer to where you go, where you come from.
Yes.
So it would probably cut your commute down.
Oh, is that right?
By a bunch.
Yeah.
Okay.
Where would that be?
Where's the middle ground there?
I don't like to say on the radio, but it rhymes with Mermin Mokes.
Around that area.
Mermin Mokes.
Mermin Mokes.
Can I say something?
We could even do Woodland Mills.
Yeah.
You could, somewhere between Mermin Mokes and Woodland Mills.
That would cut your commute, wouldn't it?
From Mohai?
From Mohai.
Nobody cares.
What's his name?
There's a guy, John, he's the Punisher?
Barenthal.
He lives in Ojai.
I can say that with confidence because I was like, oh, maybe he, because I see
him about.
I'm like, oh, maybe it's Hush Hush.
Yeah.
Cover of Ojai Magazine this month.
I was like, there it is.
Posing by his mailbox.
He literally said, at home in Ojai.
It's just, here I am.
I live here.
No one cares.
Nobody cares.
No one cares.
What are you going to do?
Yeah.
Yeah, live it already.
But I would be up for it.
If you can, if you can just promise me a less fat angle.
I can do it.
I would, I'd be into it.
LFA.
Yeah.
Less fat.
Less fat.
Not still fat.
Still fat.
You want to be relatably fat.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Not too skinny.
I know.
Not too buff either.
If you're super buff.
Yeah.
Not sure about that.
Well.
Buff Tom Papa doesn't work.
But no.
Buff Chappelle, better.
Yeah.
Weirdly.
Weirdly.
Didn't think that was going to work.
Think about killing him softly.
Yeah.
Skinniest boy.
Did not think that was going to work.
The youngest, smallest, skinniest young man, Dave Chappelle.
Bone arms, killing it.
I'd say loudly, actually.
Not even softly.
It's kind of sets you up for a great compliment that his ideas are bigger than
whatever package
it's in.
That's right.
Like, his ideas were, it didn't matter.
I also should note, I know there's some scandal happening right now.
I don't really follow.
I don't really follow scandals.
So, I know that there's a Chappelle.
A new one?
Well, the SNL one.
Yeah.
I read about that.
That's a couple weeks old.
So, it's over?
It's over.
We don't care anymore?
No.
The river of shit has moved in along.
No.
It didn't really stick.
News site, it didn't stick.