Name: Zach Braff | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Uploaded: 2023-07-19T14:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Zach Braff | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Zach Braff | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-19. Transcript available.

Zach Braff | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made it
weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Oh, yeah. You made
it weird. With Pete Holmes. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Oh, yeah.
What's happening, weirdos? This is Zach Braff. This is the third time Zach Braff,
the incredible, the incomparable, the talented, the wonderful Zach Braff, whose
new movie A Good Person is available on demand, and you should absolutely check
that out. We talk about that a little bit, but not so much that it would spoil
it or ruin it, and you will love it. Check out A Good Person on demand right
now. Do it. Not right now. Listen to this right now. And then tonight with Popped
Corn, American Popped Corn.
But this is the first time that Zach has been on in person, and it made a huge
difference. We totally brought out. We became besties in real time, and I'm so
glad that you guys get to hear that and enjoy that. I love this conversation. I'm
so glad you're here. Only a couple things to plug up top. I'm on the road. Go
to PeteHolmes.com if you want to come see me do stand-up. New York City is
coming up. Actually, that just came up. By the time this is out, that just
happened. So you missed that.
But there are new dates. Denver, not San Francisco, St. Louis. There's lots of
stuff coming up. Go to PeteHolmes.com. All sorts of cities. And then after this
tour, after the Where Were We tour, I'm going to start a new tour called the Is
This Anything Tour, which is going to be my new material tour, which I'll be
working stuff out. That's going to be super fun, too.
So all of those dates will be on PeteHolmes.com. I'm also at Largo in Los
Angeles once a month. Go to Largo-LA.com for that if you're going to be in LA.
The next one is August 5th. Always incredible. One musical guest and several
wonderful comedians. The last one was awesome.
Zach was recently at one. I think that's how we opened the episode. Also, if
you want to support the show, it means so much. Try a product. Try a Pete's
Pick. We do ads a little bit differently. We do ads for things that I actually
use and actually adore.
The perfect jean, as you guys know, I love perfect jeans. I was hanging out
with my friend Katie Lowe's and she was like, oh, are those your comfort jeans?
She called them my comfort jeans, which I thought were funny.
The perfect jean. And yes, they were because they're the only pants I wear.
They look incredible. They feel incredible. They're soft as a baby's bottom.
They got 2% spandex, 2.5% rayon for extra comfort and movement that your man
parts require, but they look like incredible designer jeans with very, very
wonderful, very, very wonderful craftsmanship.
I never have to replace them. They stay together. They're well built. They fit
fantastic. They come in all different cuts and colors and styles.
They even have a khaki color, which is my new favorite, but it's made from the
same spare your nuts material.
They stretch. They're so comfy. You could sleep in them, but they look so good.
I've literally worn them to movie premieres.
It doesn't matter. They look fantastic. No one needs to know your comfy little
secret.
So check them out, guys. It's a great way to support the show and to support
your lower limbs.
The perfect jean for the perfectly imperfect men. 20% off when you use code
weirdo at checkout.
Weirdo, not weird, weirdo. So liberate your lower limbs with the one and only
perfect jean.
Go to www.theperfectjean.nyc. That's theperfectjean.nyc and use code weirdo for
20% off at checkout.
You'll be glad you did. Literally the only pants that I wear.
Also, speaking of game changers, I gave some to Zach, I believe on air, modern
mammals.
Guys, I hate shampoo. I never used to wash my hair. That was my secret.
I think Zach says on this episode that was his secret as well.
If you want your hair to look good, you just don't wash it. You rinse it, you
don't wash it.
And Kat, my wonderful friend who cuts my hair, last time she cut it, she was
like,
yuck, please cut your hair. And that happens. I do TV shows and stuff and there's
product in it.
I gotta wash it, but I also need it to look good. But I didn't want to use
regular shampoo because that meant it was clean, sure,
but it also looked like dried out fluffy shit for two days. And so many guy
friends I know, we talk about this.
This is the problem. Unmanageable, dried out, thin, brittle hay on my head. Terrible.
So I didn't know what to do. This all changed for real, for real when I found
Modern Mammals.
It's now the only shampoo I use. It's like a non-shampoo that somehow cleans
your hair, but leaves it perfect, like a perfect hair day.
It still has structure. It's got that wave, still got some of its natural
moisture, and it stays in place and looks incredible.
It's a good hair day in a bottle. It's not about cleaning your hair. It's about
cleaning your hair and giving you a perfect hair day.
Now I wash it when I want it to look good. Instead, I used to wash it and wait
four days for it to look normal again.
Now I get it on command. My hair regimen is the opposite of what it used to be,
and now I wash it every couple days.
Friggin' love it. Over 40,000 guys have switched to this instead of traditional
shampoo.
You've got to see the reviews for this product. They're insane. Guys get more
excited about this than anything.
It blows my mind. Once you use it, you'll be hooked for life. I've already
gotten so many friends in my life using it.
They'll never go back to a regular shampoo, and neither will you.
It's a small punk rock company. They're grassroots. These were guys who just
were fed up with shampoo and wanted to get it right specifically for men.
They have bars for that no plastic thing, which works fantastic with no
fragrance, or the bottle for a more traditional shampoo experience.
It's like gray magic mud that I love, and it's six seconds a day that I spend
to get perfect hair.
Do it. Don't wait. Do it. Go to modernmammals.com slash weird, and you can get
a special combo deal and try both the bar and the bottle for a reduced price of
$44.
That's the bar and the bottle. By the way, both the bar and the bottle last a
really, really long time, so this one purchase will be good for a long while.
Modernmammals.com slash weird.
All right, everybody. Hope to see you on the road. Hope to see you at Largo.
Enjoy the return in person of Zach Braff. Get into it.
It looks like something happened, and then there was a quick, we gotta get out
of here.
The person who lives here now, my friend Kate, will love that you...
Oh, someone lives there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We rent it to our friend.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Zero.
It looks a little bit like something's occurred. We need to get the fuck out of
here.
Can I say director respecter? I'm a director respecter right now. I'm
respecting a director.
Yes, how so?
Because if you were doing set design, and you were like, I want the house to
look like something happened.
I always think that. Do you think that?
You notice, though. I can't go into her business, but yes, something, like
there was a shift, and you can tell from the space.
I can tell, as a filmmaker, if I was set dressing a set, I would go, we would
scout that and go, oh, I love how this is like that.
You see how that's like that? Do that.
Yeah.
Oh, do you notice how this is like the calendar, like the whiteboards half
wiped off?
Yeah.
Like, I love that.
Don't fix it.
Don't do that.
When we're scouting locations, I'm sure you do this too. When we're scouting
for shooting locations, I'm always like taking thousands of pictures, and I'm
walking around the production designer like, do you see that?
Do you see how there's the bowl with the change and four M&Ms and a light bulb
in the kitchen? I want that.
Don't you just take a picture of that. I want that.
I want four M&Ms.
That has to be one of the joys.
No one ever notices it in a film, but I-
No, they do.
Well, in the macro.
Tim Burton.
Tim Burton, Tim Burton, Tim Burton, Big Fish. They put that, they put the car
in the tree. There's a moment where they put the car in the tree. And this was
back when CGI was pretty bad. So he was right to be like, we're not going to
CGI it.
But he said something that I always think about re-film, which is, you know,
you don't know that you know, but you know.
Here's one. Here's one. The sheets are always too clean. I know I'm watching a
movie because the sheets look like they were just put on that bed. Brand new spanking
sheets.
Here's one.
The streets are always wet, but not the cars, just the asphalt, because it
looks pretty at night. I'm sorry. During a night scene, this is going to bother
everyone who doesn't know this. If you're not in the film industry-
How is it down?
This will now bother you if you're not in the film industry for the rest of
time. I'm sorry. At night, it's way prettier if the streets have some sheen. So
they wet down the asphalt, though asphalt is always wet. But it's not like it's
rained, because if you look at the cars or anything else, none of that's wet.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love this. I would argue, though, two
things. One, I think people do notice the bowl with the-
I notice, if the set design is so good that I'm like, did they just walk in a
house? Sorry, I'm so excited. Also, don't shave the actors. Stop it. Stop
giving them free haircuts.
Shaving the actors.
I cast a guy who looked like a fucking schlub, and then he comes in and goes,
clean me up. I'm going to be on TV. Fuck you. I didn't book a guy who's here to
be on TV. I booked you because you look like a stand-up comedian who works an
open mic.
Yeah. What about the woman going to bed in full makeup? That's very common.
What about turning on the light when you answer the phone? Yeah. I was just
watching American Gangster.
What about getting hung up on, and you hear the da-da-da-da-da-da, like, no, we're
not in the 80s.
I just watched Tommy Boy, and it's to great effect. Tommy Boy, by the way,
holds up. It's fantastic.
And Rob Lowe is pretending to be on the phone, and as he's putting the phone
down, he goes, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. But it's perfect. You wouldn't
change a thing. Do you want to keep going with these? I abhor.
Don't cover your breasts. Don't cover your breasts.
Yeah, don't cover your breasts.
Look, I'm not trying to see breasts. I'm saying there's other ways than to have
the woman sit up with the sheet to her thing. That's not how we're...
Your movie, by the way, a good person, very intimate. The intimacy scenes are
very legit and real and well-blocked.
I don't even want to say blocked, because they don't feel blocked.
Yeah.
They feel like intimacy.
Yeah, thank you.
There's laughing.
Yeah, natural.
There's, like, natural... It feels like these people have had sex before.
It's not like a... You know what I mean? They've been dating for years.
You don't need to show a thing.
No.
Isn't it funny when you look back at these 80s movies, there was always a fuck
scene?
It was like, if it was R, it was like, when's the fuck scene?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Isn't that funny looking back now? And when it's not a thing anymore, obviously,
there's sex if it feels justified for the most part.
Yeah.
But then they always kind of cut away. You don't sit in the fuck scene.
Right?
Those 80s movies...
In the 80s, you did.
Yeah, you watched them fuck.
Terminator 1.
Yeah.
Full cupping of breasts.
And there was always, it was always, always Venetian blinds with the light
coming through.
Of course.
Cops were always peering out of them and boobies were always glistening under
them.
Venetian blinds were the only blinds in the 1980s.
I think now you can...
Yeah, it was hard to have a sex scene in the 80s without Venetian blinds.
Anyone who fucked in an 80s movies had light coming through their Venetian
blinds.
That's what motels had?
No, I think it was just a style of light that you'd get this nice pattern.
We call it a gobo.
You'd get a nice gobo pattern.
I'