Name: Joe Gatto | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Uploaded: 2024-01-03T15:30:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Gatto | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Gatto | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-03. Transcript available.

Joe Gatto | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You made it weird, you made it weird, you made it weird, oh yeah. You made it
weird, you made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, oh yeah. You made it
weird, with Pete Holmes. Yes you did, you made it weird, oh yeah.
What's happening weirdos, happy new year, we are back after a couple weeks off
and we are starting the new year with a bang, this is Joe Gatto, he's
incredible, you know him from Impractical Jokers, he's also a wonderful stand
up comedian and you're about to hear a wonderful guy, this is a very much a did
we just become best friends episode, I loved talking with him, I'm so glad you
guys are here to check it out.
If you do check the show out on YouTube, we are migrating all of the podcast
episodes to a dedicated YouTube channel, just You Made It Weird on YouTube to
keep the Pete Holmes YouTube channel where the sketch and the stand up is and
You Made It Weird be its own dedicated thing just to kind of help people find
it and help the people that are looking for it.
Well, I just said the same thing twice, didn't I? But just go subscribe, it
would be great if you subscribe on YouTube to the You Made It Weird podcast
channel. Check that out, that's easy.
I'm also on the road, thank you to everybody that was out in Tempe, it was
awesome. This weekend I will be in Brea, California, so go to PeteHolmes.com
for tickets.
We also have Chicago is rescheduled and more and more dates being added there.
I love this new hour, I love this new tour, it's so fun, and it always means so
much when weirdos come out.
We also have the Largo show, you can go to Largo-LA.com, I do that monthly here
in Los Angeles, the next one is on January 30th.
I'm also doing the Netflix is a joke fest here in Los Angeles, and there's a
link to that on PeteHolmes.com as well.
As you guys know, we only do ads for things that I actually use and actually
love. With that in mind, this is a picture of me on the Jimmy Kimmel show that
I have here in my office.
And this, whoops, and this shirt, this is sloppy, this shirt that I'm wearing
is from my new favorite apparel company and my buddies at Roosevelt's.
Roosevelt's, which I've got to get the spelling right, because it's not, don't
search Roosevelt's, R-S-V-L-T-S, is an apparel brand born from their passion
for pop culture and Americana.
They make some of the funnest, coolest designs, combining high-quality products
with bold, unique concepts, something for everybody.
Their shirt collections range from Star Wars, they've got a lot of great Star
Wars stuff, Disney, Nickelodeon, classic movies like The Big Lebowski, The
Office.
If you have a pop culture fiend in your life or if you are one, they have a
pattern that looks amazing and is a great shout out to the things that you love.
If your style is a little bit more laid back like mine, they also have just
classic patterns that look great and feel amazing on your body.
You'll be the focus of the room in one of their extremely comfortable and laid
back original designs.
They're conversation starters and they have been known to crack the shyest
person out of their shells.
So if you're looking for fun, high-quality threads, look no further than my
friends at Roosevelt's.
It's light, soft, stretchy, and fit.
Damn nice.
They're moisture-wicking.
They're extremely breathable.
It's like a very modern-feeling fabric.
Kunuflex.
It's a four-way stretch material.
I love the fit.
I love the fun ones.
Jurassic Park, The Office.
That's great.
And if you want to look classy like you're going on a late-night talk show,
Roosevelt's has got you covered as well.
They won't shrink or wrinkle after washing, which is why I wear them on stage.
They're fantastic to travel with.
They also make hats, bomber jackets, performance hoodies, which are awesome,
and shorts.
They won't blame you if you never want to take them off.
They're conversation starters, as I said.
They're based out of Hoboken, New Jersey, which is a plus.
Clothing for the bold and the fun for those who dare mighty things.
Just like their namesake, Teddy Roosevelt, once said.
So if you want to get your hands on some of these amazing items, visit RSVLTS.com.
So Roosevelt's, sort of without the vowels, RSVLTS.com.
Or check them out on Instagram @Roosevelts, R-S-V-L-T-S, which is how I found
them.
Check it out.
They are awesome.
Get into it big time.
And of course, we're brought to us, almost as always, from our friends at Magic
Mind.
I'm holding one here.
I've had two Magic Minds today, because I did two podcasts today.
It is a performance drinking miracle.
I'm saying it for real.
Everybody that knows me knows I love Magic Mind.
I'm always giving it to the guests, because it really brings out that creative
flow state.
It's about as much caffeine as half a cup of coffee.
But it's got nootropics to help you think, and it has adaptogens to help you
calm your body down.
It stimulates your mind and calms your body, which is the perfect combination
to get into
that flow state, turn off procrastination, get writing, get thinking, get
flowing, get laughing.
It's not a wired feeling.
It's a dialed-in feeling.
It lasts about five to seven hours, and you get 30% more productivity after
drinking.
Get that ADD out of there.
Get that brain fog out of there.
Get that fatigue out of there and drop into flow state.
It is a huge, huge, huge life hack for me.
And we actually have a special offer for listeners from Magic Mind.
All you need to do is go to magicmind.co/weird and use my discount code at
checkout WEIRD to get a limited 20% off your first order.
You guys know I love it.
It's a new year.
It's a new you.
Go to magicmind.com.co/weird and use promo code WEIRD.
Support the show.
Support the brain.
Get into it big time, and enjoy Joe Gatto.
He's so fun.
Hope to see you on the road.
Go to YouTube.
You made it weird.
That's it.
Get into it.
- You know, I'm gonna say something hot off the top here.
- Sure.
- I feel like, okay, so Joe brought us, hopefully, Katie, if you want one.
- Yeah.
- You've always, it's like people, this looks like we're on the search for type
three diabetes.
Like, we're not satisfied.
- Well, I'm here to tell you.
Breaking news, we found it.
And it's seated next to you.
- And it was worth it.
- Worth it?
- Yes.
- Sir, you have type three diabetes.
- Yes, no, I have three types of diabetes.
- You have diabetes one.
- Yeah.
- You have diabetes two, but you also have diabetes three, which is completely
different.
- Completely, yeah.
It actually cancels out the first two.
It's a weird math thing.
So two plus one.
- It's the heel.
- Yeah.
- Three heels one and two, but it's uncurable.
- Yeah.
- I just think that, first of all, thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
- What a great...
Who else brings gifts?
A couple guests bring gifts and it's always really nice.
- I don't come to a house.
I don't come to you.
I'm a guest.
You don't come empty-handed.
- You filthy Italian.
- Yeah, when I say filthy, I ruin it.
You filthy Italian.
- It was almost nice.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Give me these back.
- It would be within your rights.
I just wanted to acknowledge your Italian-ness and be funny.
So I added filthy.
Okay.
So I think making desserts with Oreo is a little bit of a cheat.
- It is a cheat, a crumble.
Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
They're like, oh, Oreo cheesecake.
Eat shit, dude.
- It's just...
- You can't sprinkle gold on money and be like, double money.
- That's...
I never even thought of that.
You know what though?
But sometimes...
Have you ever had like an ingredient that doesn't make sense at all?
- Sure.
- Yeah.
- What do you mean?
- I had a gummy bear pudding.
I had a pudding that had like gummy bears in it.
- I don't like that.
- And that was weird.
It was like a kind of like one of these mixed things.
You know what a trifle is?
That's what Italians call them too.
Trifles.
It's basically just a mix, mishmash of stuff.
It was when your grandmother was poor and she just put everything in a bowl.
- A lot of great things are poor things.
- Yes, that's right.
My favorite dessert, ice box cake.
My grandmother used to make for birthdays.
- Ice box cake.
She used to put it in the ice box for everybody's birthday.
She used to do it.
- Wait, you just make a cake.
- Katie's nodding.
You just put a cake in the freezer?
- It's a layer of...
- I thought that just meant a cake that you bought at the store that was frozen.
- Oh.
- No?
- Oh, I didn't realize this was gonna be such an educational podcast.
- Yeah, it is.
Oh no, we just shifted genres.
So it was...
There's...
It could be any recipe, but my grandmother's recipe was basically
a graham cracker crust, which is important, you know?
- I mean, I'm already...
- You're in.
- That's also kind of the Oreo cookie of the crust world.
- Well, that's right too.
- You know what I mean?
- It's like it's already a hit.
- But you already have crust options though.
- What's that?
- If you look at your crust options, I mean...
- What are you gonna call it?
- I don't know why.
- Mr. Christopheles?
- Yeah, so it's the best...
It's the top tier.
- No, no, it's great.
It's great.
Top tier crust.
- Graham cracker crust.
- Layer of Jell-O, layer of chocolate pudding, layer of Cool Whip.
- Yeah.
- That's it.
- Just boom, bang, bow.
- That's like that Food Network show.
It makes me sad though.
The woman...
- Oh, I forgot the name of it.
- Oh, welcome back dude.
It makes me sad though.
Today we're gonna eat our feelings.
It's not gonna help.
It's not gonna help.
One of my burns is it looks like he's eating his feelings.
And apparently his feelings are delicious.
You say it about a big guy.
You can say it about me.
Anyway, what was I saying?
Oh, the show on the Food Network where they...
It's like on a budget.
Everything on the Food Network is like wine.
And you know, like Brian Regan says, pre-portioned bowls.
There's like pistachios and it's very high end.
And then there's one lady that's like, you can use spam as toothpaste.
And you're like, no.
She's like the fat from spam can be used to clean plaque.
It's the number one defender against plaque.
They don't want you to know this, but spam was originally oral hygiene.
I talked to the other dentist.
You know, the nine out of 10 would say, this one guy...
He's got a lot of ideas.
He's standing by his face.
Got a lot of good ideas.
Nobody's talking to him.
Four out of five dentists agree.
He won't be peer pressured.
Nope.
Samson.
Dude, you know those tests where they draw a curved line
on a piece of paper.
Yeah.
And then they ask 10 people and the first nine people are plants.
And the last person is the person they're studying.
And the first nine people say it's a straight line.
And it's something like 90% of the last people say it's a straight line.
Is it like a curve or is it like a slight?
It's curved.
I think it's slight.
Slight.
Okay.
But it's slight.
Wow.
But it's slight.
I say it again.
It's slight.
It's slight.
But it's slight.
Like curvature.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's what we called a...
What was the word?
A trifle?
A trifle.
All right.
So we agree that Oreo is...
This is probably...
Who did that Oreo?
Who made the Oreo?
Who did it?
Who put it in first?
Buddy?
Time travel question.
Oh, okay.
You eat an Oreo in 1936.
I bet it tastes very different.
Very different.
Right?
Using real things.
That's probably real sugar.
They probably went bad.
Yeah.
Ah, these Oreos have gone bad.
I know, but just eat them anyway.
Right?
But I bet you the wafer...
It's rushing into his family.
I bet you...
I'll fix it.
I'll fix it.
I bet you the wafer...
Because I think that's where a lot of the degradation happens.
Yes.
In the quality of the wafer.
The quality of the cookie.
It's a miracle, but we're putting like antifreeze in it.
Yeah.
To keep it forever good.
And when you and I are scavenging...
Scavenging?
Scavenging.
Scavenging?
Yes.
We're scaveraging.
Scaveraging.
Depends where we are.
I love that you knew it.
I was so excited to talk to you.
I'm going to say hello after this riff.
When we're s