Name: Finesse Mitchell | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Uploaded: 2024-05-15T15:01:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Finesse Mitchell | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Finesse Mitchell | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Finesse Mitchell | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You made it weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Yeah.
You made it weird. With Pete Holmes. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made
it weird. Yeah.
What's happening, weirdos? This is Finesse Mitchell, who I find to be
delightful and wildly talented. He has incredible comedy albums and specials
out. You also may know him from Saturday Night Live, on which he was hilarious.
And he's delightful here and hilarious here.
I listened to his record on the way down, and I was just so blown away with his
talent and how improvisational and in the moment he is. And in this
conversation, he is just that. And I'm so glad you guys are here. Not much to
say up top. Go to PeteHolmes.com for tickets to my tour. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to everybody who came out to the Netflix is a
joke fest here in Los Angeles on May 4th. See, I'm still so used to promoting
it. All that detail comes right back to me.
But it was an awesome show and it was just so moving to me that so many people
came out. So I want to say thank you again to everybody that came to that.
Largo-LA.com if you are in the LA area and you want to see me do my show at Largo,
Pete Holmes living at Largo, and Chicago and Pennsylvania and Texas, all in
PeteHolmes.com. Go and check that out.
And that's it, guys. Let's get into it. Let's enjoy it. Let's be here together.
Get into it.
You find out what cologne that guy wears?
You know, I got out of the car. Use that. We'll just reuse this.
I got out of the car. I went back in the little side pocket just now. And I was
like, God, I had to smell good.
And now I'm ready to knock on the door.
There you go.
I forgot my wedding ring so I could at least smell good.
I also, I lost my wedding ring. You know what happened? Actually, I lost enough
weight that my wedding ring doesn't fit.
Good for you.
And then, now I buy these bullshit wedding rings.
That's what I do.
That aren't really my wedding ring.
That's what I do.
I lose them all the time.
That's what I do.
And isn't it great to lose a wedding ring and not care?
Bro, I'm like, I get these little black bands that I see.
The plastic ones?
They're not plastic, but they're just, they look like, I don't know, like three
for 30, say $38.
That's the way.
Like the ones that just hang on the little nail sticking out of a board when
you're walking past.
Nothing better.
A little jewelry cart on the side of an outdoor plaza.
Yeah, like a Claire's.
Because the one that, the one that she got me, it was this David Yerman silvery
black diamond thing.
And when you perform in it.
It's distracting?
It's distracting.
Yeah.
I actually.
It looks like a flex?
Yeah.
You keep going like, it's great to be here.
There you go, ladies.
You're talking about it.
My wife wants everyone to know I'm married.
She picked it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What, is she South American?
Actually.
Is she from South America?
No.
Because I've never heard any female involvement in the ring except in South
America.
You know what?
When we were looking and she was pointing, I said, well.
I'm about to zap one.
And so my finger did gravitate toward the one that we got.
But it's kind of.
But then on the.
But in a nightclub, in the improvs, Funny Bones, that light hits it.
You can actually see those little sparkles.
Yeah.
And or it just says, I'm married, married.
And that's the last thing I want.
I mean, where's my camera?
I don't mean it like that.
That's you.
That's you.
You found that.
That's the last thing.
When I'm trying to be funny, I'm not trying to say, I'm married, married.
You want like Ray Romano married.
You know what I mean?
Like plain gold.
You can complain.
You look like newly married.
Yes.
Very excited.
And I'm a decade in.
Ten years.
Once you're a decade.
Well, I say decade.
Me and J.B.
Smooth said say decade because it sounds longer.
What's a decade?
That's my J.B.
Smooth.
Let me tell you something.
Okay.
You can have this bit.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
J.B.
Smooth is so great.
I wish he was on other shows.
Shows I don't understand.
Like I'm watching The West Wing.
Okay.
I never watched The West Wing.
But I don't understand politics.
So I'm like, I wish there was a J.B.
guy because he's like us.
He represents someone who doesn't know what's going on.
Right.
And they're like, we need to have a caucus.
And you're like, what's a caucus?
Right.
What's the filibustering?
Oh, you mean a group of people getting together to block that shit?
Oh, that's what we need.
Because some of this shit can't get through.
I mean, it goes, the Senate, Congress, you know, like that's what I need.
Yes.
I would be like, thank you.
Now, can I tell you a J.B.
Smooth's secret?
Please.
Let's tell J.B.
Smooth's stories.
This is the J.B.
Smooth's secret.
I've known him for, I don't know, 20 years now.
But no one knows this.
When no one is watching, he goes, so, Finesse, how's your day going?
And I'm like, I know it.
That is.
He goes, how are you today?
How are you today, Finesse?
I'm like, you mother.
You know this story.
I don't even know whose story this is, but Michael Jackson.
Somebody said they were like, I'm going to change it.
I'm going to tell you how I think of it.
It's not how I was told.
They're sitting in a screening room, like a dark, quiet room.
Michael comes in, Michael Jackson, doesn't know he's in there.
And he hears him go, oh, fuck.
And then he's like, oh, is somebody in there?
Hey.
I know I'm not the first to say that, but like, you know.
I believe it.
You know why I believe it?
Because I watched it happen to my voice.
My comedian voice.
Absolutely.
There was a, you can find old clips of me on YouTube, not that you'd want to,
but you could,
where I'm like, is that a Midwestern accent?
Like, what am I doing?
I was playing with, because like, for lack of a better way to say it, like,
kind of like
effeminate was kind of funny.
Like, not effeminate, but a little flamboyant, I guess I would say.
It's funny to be like, get the, like, I don't know how to say it.
And I was playing with those levels.
And you see, and I'm going to put this back to you.
Ryan Gosling sounds like Marlon Brando in 1972.
He sounds like he's from the Bronx or something.
Dude's Canadian.
Right.
He picked that voice.
Right.
So if JB's doing it, Michael's doing it.
And one last thing, you listen to like Billie Eilish, you listen to Phoebe, you
listen to
any singer.
They pick that sound.
Yeah.
Everybody sounds like this when they sing.
Everybody sounds real stupid.
Yeah.
And they're like, ah, ah, ah.
They like played with it.
Everybody in show business is faking a voice.
And so are regular people too.
I saw, ah, Chris, Chris, ah, Tucker.
No, not Chris Tucker.
I saw, Adele is dating LeBron's agent.
Chris, I don't even know if his name is Chris.
Katie's on it.
But Paul, there's a Paul in this man.
Rich Paul.
I said Chris Paul.
I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting Chris Paul mixed up.
But I know they're the same height pretty much.
But, um, yeah, she was, um, so she's dating Rich Paul and I ran into both of
them.
And I was like, what up, Rich?
He was like, what's up?
I was like, Adele.
She's like, what up, my nigga?
I was like, oh, where's your accent?
Wait, no, she didn't say that.
I'm freaking out that she said the end word.
No, she didn't say that.
She didn't say that.
She didn't say that.
Just trying to get a sound bite.
Oh, my gosh.
There's the clip.
New record for clip.
New record for clip.
Under 10 minute clip.
Oh, my God.
I said, no wonder you're getting these Grammys.
You know Finesse got a sub 10 clip?
At the potties this year.
They're going to, and the shortest sit down to clip, social clip moment, Finesse
Mitchell.
Can I say I'm jealous?
Tell me.
I want one of these.
Little back house?
I want a back house where, you know, I can tell your wife doesn't come in here
much.
No.
This is my, you know, isn't that interesting?
I used to think it was so dumb that men had their area.
And now I have a wife and a daughter.
So I love it.
I wanted a daughter.
But I am outnumbered by women.
And not that she's a woman.
She's a kid.
Kids are pretty much the same.
But I'm outnumbered.
And the stuff I want to do, I got my garage.
I got a little sauna in the garage.
My daughter came in.
She wouldn't go down last night.
She comes in.
I'm in the sauna.
And I'm just watching Mission Impossible.
And she's like, what is this?
And I'm like, this is what daddy does.
How old is she?
Daddy needs a motorcycle and guns.
I need it.
How old is she?
She's five and a half.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I wasn't naked for any of you wondering.
Although, who cares?
She wouldn't have cared.
She probably wouldn't have cared.
She didn't care.
Not yet.
My daughter's just turned five.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, she just turned five.
Just one daughter?
Two.
Two daughters.
The other one is nine.
Wow.
But, yeah, we have this extra bedroom.
We really lucked out in a house in West Hills.
So there's an extra bedroom.
And I decorated it all nice.
And we call it the hotel.
That's where you go.
Yeah.
And they're always like, daddy's in the hotel.
Can you please, will you please make a door that opens with like a black credit
card?
Yeah.
And you're the only one that has it?
Mm-hmm.
I'm going to have a key code on that door.
Yeah.
To just...
Please.
But they don't like hanging out in there.
And they know it's where I watch TV and write or whatever.
Did you put it...
How hotel-y is it on the inside?
It has the very skinny nightstand.
Yeah.
It has the lamp.
It has the very clean, full-size bed.
Nicely made, just like they make it on YouTube and stuff.
And then it has the chair that nobody would buy unless it was in a hotel.
Yep.
It has that little sitting chair.
And that's it.
That's the only thing.
And it has the flat screen on the TV.
Little desk?
There's no little desk.
All right.
I know what to get you.
It's a thank you for doing the podcast.
Little shitty desk.
It has plugs in it, though.
Plugs up top.
Mm-hmm.
I have the outlet with the plugs and the...
It folds out.
You know what I'm saying?
You know, everybody needs it.
You need your space.
Everybody needs their space.
My wife's space is the rest of the house.
My space is that room.
I did laugh so hard listening to your record when...
Because, you know, I'm very happily married.
And I was laughing when you were like,
I forget the setup.
You're really, really good at stand-up, man.
Thank you, bro.
I just want to say.
Thank you.
You're like, not just a natural, but your process is natural.
Yes.
So I'm trying to think of how to do the joke,
but I don't know how you did the joke.
You know what I'm saying?
And I don't know how I do the joke.
I can tell you don't know how you did the joke.
Everybody who watches me says,
you get up there and you start talking.
I've seen you so many times, Finesse.
Yeah.
You get up there and you start talking.
And then you lead them into a joke.
Yeah.
So the setup is never the same.
Yeah.
The out is never the same.
Yeah.
But the laughter is always, boom.
And I'm sure you get this constantly, so forgive me.
But you sound like a black preacher to me.
I do.
Yeah.
You've never gotten that?
You don't get that?
No.
See, I went to church not every Sunday,
but I used to, you know, Mattapan is a part of Boston.
It doesn't matter.
It's a very black area.
Okay.
And we would go.
How's that of Austin, Texan?
Boston.
Boston, Massachusetts.
Yeah, I got in Boston.
No, I know.
Why would you know that?
You know Mattapan?
No.
Ben Affleck robbed a bank that I know about in the movie was called The Town.
I'm obsessed with The Town.
And he fell in love with a bank teller.
Well, that's in Cambridge.
That was in Cambridge.
Yeah.
That's not near Patapan.
What'd you call it?
Oh, that's Charleston.
Charlestown.
Oh, Charlestown.
Charlestown.
Well, anyway, that's as close as I got to Boston.
I think we did a Shaq All-Star Comedy Jam in Boston.
All right.
You didn't do it in Mattapan.
I was looking for black cred.
The only reason I asked if you knew it is I wanted you to be like, you know
what I mean?
