Name: Paul Scheer | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Uploaded: 2024-06-26T14:00:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paul Scheer | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paul Scheer | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-26. Transcript available.

Paul Scheer | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

You made it weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. You made
it weird with Pete Holmes.
You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird.
What's happening, weirdos? This is the return of Paul Scheer, one of my all-time
favorite people.
He's so funny, so wonderful. He's a delight, and you're going to hear all of
those things in this conversation that follows.
Paul is doing so many things. I'm just on his website, paulsheer.com, right now.
The main thing that he is plugging is his book, a wonderful book, Joyful Recollections
of Trauma.
He also has tour dates coming up with his podcast, How Did This Get Made, other
stuff.
I mean, he's got it all. What do I got here? He's doing the Wilbur in Boston on
June 16th.
Bullseye Live with Jesse Thorne and Paul Scheer.
I mean, go to paulsheer.com. I'm sure he's coming to your area. He's definitely
coming to Boston.
And check out his book, his hilarious and touching memoir, Joyful Recollections
of Trauma.
For me, mi persona, go to PeteHolmes.com, and you can come and see me on my
Feelin' it tour.
I'm going to Houston. I'm going to Madison. We just added that. Madison,
Wisconsin.
Coming back. Going to Pittsburgh and Milwaukee.
All of those are available on PeteHolmes.com.
And I'm also doing my Largo show here in Los Angeles, July 17th, August 16th,
September 5th, and September 26th.
So if you live in L.A. or are going to be in the L.A. area, July 17th, August
16th, September 5th, or 26th,
go to Largo-LA.com and get tickets to Pete Holmes Living at Largo.
Those shows are always a highlight of my month.
And now we're doing two a month.
So even more chances to come see the favorite, my favorite thing that I do each
month.
Hope you can be there.
In the meantime, enjoy this wonderful chat with this wonderful man.
I sincerely hope you enjoy.
Get into it.
You look younger than when I last saw.
I mean, I knew you when you were 20.
Yeah, this is it.
I, you know, look, I'm in this world where we're in L.A., and I go to these
doctors that,
you know, they take out parts of your body that are going to, you know, fuck
with you.
Have you heard about that?
But you remove them?
Have you heard about this?
This is a real thing.
I have not gone to this doctor.
Is this a bit?
No.
What's not?
What's not?
What?
They take, like, your pancreas?
They look at you and they go, all right, that's bum.
Let's get it out now before it causes some problems.
Like, this thing's function is to age you and wrinkle you.
I mean, I don't know if it's going to prevent anything, but this is a doctor I've
heard here
in Los Angeles.
I just talked about this the other day to a friend, because they, another
friend, which
is, well, remain nameless.
Aziz.
Aziz.
No, not Aziz.
Whoa!
No, that wasn't right.
Casually.
Whoa!
There it was.
Whoa, cheer!
Has Aziz ever done this podcast?
Yeah, he did it.
Back in the day?
We did it when he was renting Tom York's house.
Oh, I remember that house.
Do you remember that?
Yes, I do, I do, I do.
And I remember we dropped by and he was Aziz and the hell out of it.
He was making some dumplings and he was in Tom York's house.
That house is pretty great.
I drive by that house a lot because my friend lives near there.
I always remember it because the pig mailbox.
Can I?
Yes.
Go ahead.
Well, I always remember that landmark.
Now that that house has it, don't worry about that, but there's a pig mailbox
when you
near it.
Near it.
Near it.
Near it.
Tom York doesn't have a novelty pig.
That is actually, the Pink Floyd, that's a, I couldn't remember who's in Pink
Floyd.
Me neither.
Roger Waters.
Yeah.
Here's, can I say, maybe, I said this last time you were on, and I don't know
why, I know
why I love saying it because I'm being a bitch, but I had pizza with Aziz.
We're going to go back to your story.
Oh, please.
We're not going to forget.
It's not even my story, but go ahead.
Yes, go ahead.
Yeah.
But I'm not like, oh my gosh, I came on here to promote the doctor who takes
that.
Like, oh, I can't believe Pete didn't go back to my story.
I just, maybe I said this the last time you were on, but I said to Aziz, I was
like, dude,
when we were like 20, I was probably 27 and he was 23.
We had pizza near UCB.
It was after a show.
And I was like, he, Dane Cook had just sold out Madison Square Garden.
I've told the story a million times.
I love telling the story, I guess.
And he was like, the way I remember it, which is not true, is that it was like
on the TV.
Dane Cook sells out Madison Square Garden.
That's not how it was.
New York One, they're doing a feature on it.
They're ready for it.
Neil Rosen, live from Madison Square, sent out the New York One team.
We're out, Dane Cook has just sold out Madison Square Garden.
I don't even know if that works anymore for the current people, but there was a
time when
every movie that shot in New York, they cut to a TV.
Had fake New York One.
Because it was like, oh, we could get in there and they already have the
graphics.
We already got this team.
And they were like, ah, yeah, New York One, who watches New York One?
But then I remember everybody did.
Everybody.
At that time?
Yeah.
New York One was hot.
I wonder what it's up to now.
It was like CNN for New York.
That was it.
And it was not high level journalism, but yeah.
I don't know about that.
I would have loved to see how they covered the mystery smell.
Remember that delicious mystery smell?
Oh, wait, what was the mystery smell?
There was a delicious maple syrup smell over all of Manhattan.
Do you recall that?
Oh, I do remember that.
Yeah.
We weren't there for that.
No, but that was like, I remember reading about it.
All right.
So anyway, so Aziz said, and I think this is a good story.
He said, Dane is 30, blah, blah, blah.
That means I have this many years to sell at Madison Square Garden.
And then when I bring that up to him on the podcast, he goes, I never said that.
He didn't say, I might have said that.
He didn't say like, I mean, if I said that, I'm embarrassed.
Right.
He just said, I didn't say that.
Well, but to me, it's an interesting thing.
God, he said that.
He definitely said Randy.
Well, maybe.
You're not here to be Aziz's lawyer.
I just thought I'd throw that at you.
No, but here's what I'll say.
It's not embarrassing.
That's my point.
That's the thing.
He fucking did it.
Like that is like one of those aspirational stories where it's like Jim Carrey
wrote himself a check for a million dollars.
Put it in his dad's breast pocket at his funeral.
That's what I'm saying.
If I said to you, imagine if you and I had pizza back when we knew each other
in New York.
And I said, I'm going to hit a baseball all the way to the moon.
Yeah, and you did it.
And then I did it.
That's impressive.
Motherfucker, you said that.
And I was like, no.
Because most of our life is talking shit that we don't pay off on.
So when you actually do it.
You did it.
It makes you seem like a soothsayer.
Like you done did it.
Dude, he went and said some sooth.
And then he's a sooth denier.
Wow.
That's like a flat earther of the sooth community.
I'm really curious about that.
I wonder if we pushed him this hard, if he would go, all right.
I'm embarrassed.
Well, now it even feels, you know, I mean, it's interesting because I do think
that we
all are trying to create these narratives of like who we are, where we came
from, what we
did, right?
And it's like, and part of that is, is like shaving down the truth.
It's, it's maybe connecting events that we're a little bit further apart.
We definitely do this.
Yes.
I just did it with the TV.
That's why I have to check myself before I wreck myself.
There's a small chance that maybe I'm misremembering even that detail.
I just think it's so unlikely, but you know what it is, it's stuck out to you
and because
you're not at these, there's interesting things.
It's like what we remember versus it's interesting.
I wrote this book, this joyful recollections of trauma.
And one of the biggest things I had trying to remember your life.
Well, no, I remember it, but when I put it down, I felt a weight of going, well,
is that the
way it really happened?
And am I doing everybody justice?
And that was something I really wrestled with.
And I realized at a certain point, I believe it.
But this is my experience of the events and it's life is Rashomon.
You could sit there and go, Aziz said, and by the time I'm 30, I'll do this.
Aziz is like, I've never said that.
Aziz is like, we weren't getting pizza.
We're getting Mexican food.
Whatever it is, everyone's got their own version.
And it's like, but that's how stories get told.
It's our version of events.
Somebody else can say, oh, it was different, but we're not here to be
historians.
It's like, you heard that.
There's no reason why you would have that in your head.
Can I throw this at you?
And we're going to talk about Joyful Recollections of Trauma.
I'm very interested in it.
It's available whenever you want.
Pre-order, because pre-order means it's available now.
Pre-order means you can pay for it and not have it for weeks.
And then when it comes, what a surprise.
Oh, a little gift you gave yourself, like the microwave dinged and you forgot
what's in it.
Oh, I love a pre-order.
I've pre-ordered Blu-rays and all of a sudden at my door, point blank, I'm
sorry, not point
blank, point break of a 4K remaster comes.
I forgot I even ordered it.
Yes, okay.
Sometimes I order two things because I forgot.
I was like, I ordered after hours on Criterion and then a couple months passed
and I ordered
it again and the day it came out, I got two after hours on Criterion.
That's definitely happened to me with video games.
I had like two copies of a video game because I'm like, damn it.
I know.
They know what they're doing.
I'm going to put this to you.
I brought this.
What we're talking about is emotional truth and like sort of mythological truth.
And when I wrote my book, I remember I called Duncan.
I sent Duncan Trussell a chapter that I had written in my book and it's called
Duncan Trussell
or something.
It's like, it's always like, he's got to see it.
Yeah.
I can't just write this whole story.
And I was the time, the first time I did this podcast and, and blah, blah, blah.
And it was a big deal for me because he introduced me to Ram Dass.
And I said, I rang the doorbell and then he opened the door like a mad prophet
and there's
two little dogs fig.
I remember the line figurating through his legs, right?
Just the chaos.
Yeah, right.
He puts liquid THC on his hand.
He licks it off.
We go in a room that looks like it's designed for seances, all this stuff.
Right.
And Duncan's like, I love this chapter.
It's incredible.
Thank you so much.
And he's like, when you did my podcast, I didn't have my dogs.
And I was like, I'm keeping it.
Right.
And this is, this is what I'm telling you.
I was like, the, the emotional truth is that going to your house, Duncan,
whether or not
you had those dogs is like visiting a guy with dogs.
Well, and by the way, maybe that's the thing too, is like we make these stories.
We start to, it's true.
It is true, but it doesn't have to be factually true.
And then like, and by the way, no, it's more than actually true.
Right.
Well, I mean, but I mean, right.
Exactly.
It's like, oh, what do you, oh, here we go.
It was already off.
All right.
Mine is off.
Doubted myself.
Mine.
I did it right before.
Thank you.
But there is that, that thing that I think I was wrestling with for so long.
I, the thing I wrestled with the most is my parents.
Yeah.
Like, what are they going to think of this and where are their friends going to
fall?
You know, like I, I understood, like, I can write this book.
I know what my friends are going to think.
I know where they're going to be.
But then, you know, you start to put it out there and then all of a sudden it's
like,
you're painting a picture of somebody else.
And I want to be respectful of that.
But the truth is, it is, it is true to you.
And as long as you're not doing a li