Name: Howie Mandel | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes #podcast
Uploaded: 2024-08-21T14:00:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Howie Mandel | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes #podcast' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Howie Mandel | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes #podcast' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-21. Transcript available.

Howie Mandel | You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes #podcast

You made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, yeah.
You made it weird, with Pete Holmes.
You made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, yeah.
What's happening weirdos?
This is Howie Mandel.
What a big get.
I'm so thrilled that he's here on the show.
I'm so thrilled you guys are here to listen in.
It was an awesome conversation.
I've been a fan of Howie's since Bobby's World,
which we talk a little bit about,
and also, obviously, Deal or No Deal, America's Got Talent.
This guy is everywhere, and he's also a wonderful comedian
and a wonderful and interesting person,
so I'm glad you guys are here.
Check out Howie's podcast.
It's called Howie Mandel Does Stuff,
which I was a guest on, which was a lot of fun,
and also, come and see me on the road.
Pittsburgh is next, followed by Buffalo, Milwaukee,
Minneapolis was just announced on October 12th.
Go to PeteHolmes.com for all of these,
and then Denver, coming back to the Comedy Works also in October.
So, hope to see you at any of those.
Go to PeteHolmes.com, as I said.
And the next Largo show,
if you're going to be in the Los Angeles area,
is on Thursday, September 5th.
Thank you to everybody that was at the Largo
just this past week.
Brett Goldstein was there.
The Milk Carton kids were there.
It was just incredible.
Always the highlight of my month,
and the next one is on Thursday, September 5th.
All right, everybody.
That's it for Up Top.
I hope you enjoy this chat.
Thanks for tuning in.
Enjoy Howie Mandel.
Get into it.
Look at your boy.
That's my boy.
You got a boy.
I got a boy.
Would you want your boy...
This isn't a stock question.
I'm going to touch the chair in lieu.
People...
I think it's funny that people make fun of your condition.
It's like a serious...
Were you making fun?
Well, you know, people make light of it.
I'm like, I'm going to touch the chair
instead of touching you, Howie.
I don't want to derail you off of whatever your thought is.
Please.
But the one thing that I've learned is,
and this is how my therapy started,
is no one has to live in your world.
You have to figure...
Talking to me.
Yeah.
I have to figure out how to live in yours.
So you should not be afraid or even conscious of the fact
that you're touching my chair or...
But it's worse.
It's more than conscious.
I'm like going like...
And I wasn't really.
But the comedic instinct is to go,
Harry Mandel, germaphobe and OCD.
These are like debilitating conditions.
When I listen to you on Conan and stuff,
it's fair game.
Which, you know, comedian first,
guy with OCD and germaphobia second,
it seems to others.
Well, that's exactly my point.
Is I'm assuming comedian pass and I can be like,
oh, don't worry, I'll touch here.
We're talking about something that stops you
or used to from showing up places.
It still does.
It still does.
It still does.
It's a constant fight.
The truth of the matter is,
so then from my point of view is aside from medication and therapy,
I'm a human being with OCD and debilitating mental health issues
who uses comedy and laughter and distraction to move forward.
So the comedy is way up there and I don't mind other people using it.
And a big part of OCD therapy,
there is a therapy called exposure therapy.
I don't know if you've ever heard of that.
I'm aware of exposure therapy.
Okay.
So, so it's what, go ahead.
I had a bad Louis C.K. joke.
Keep going.
Keep going.
We shouldn't make light of such things,
but that is the area.
You have to.
Like the streaker kind of thing.
Exposure therapy.
Big in the 80s.
Well, it's even, it's big for me.
It's big for me hourly.
They're doing it.
You still do exposure therapy.
It's, I'm not in that program right now,
but I've been, I've been a part of it.
And, and the, the truth of the matter is that it,
it's not bad for me to be exposed.
It's, it's just kind of tests my coping skills,
which, you know, life from the moment I open my eyes is,
is about coping, you know,
and like all, all kidding aside, I'm sorry.
Like that, that kind of sucks, dude.
There you go.
Hot take.
Like I feel for you.
If you're, if you feel like you're,
and by the way, you're also not alone, right?
I'm coping.
I'm, I'm finding using humor to negotiate.
I feel like a lot of people come to comedy shows,
whether they know it or not,
we need to laugh at just how fragile and exposed and vulnerable we are.
So you're not alone,
but I also just want you to know some solidarity.
First of all, I appreciate it and thank you.
But I don't think that we are different.
I think that everybody in life and humans need to figure out how to cope,
how to deal, because that's, you know, shit happens.
Life is coping.
It is.
That's what the brother said.
It is.
It is.
It's like the next step.
Life is suffering.
Okay.
Then cope.
There's coping to be had so we can.
I think that's what religion is.
Get the mail.
I think religion is.
Comedy, religion, food, sleep, sex.
Drugs.
Drugs.
Vision, Tik Tok.
You ever see, I was doing a show last night.
Guy, before he's about to go up, he's just scrolling through Instagram.
I'm like, this motherfucker isn't looking at Instagram.
He's coping with the anxiety, the adrenal release that he's about to go on
stage
and do a very frightening thing that you and I have, and he too, have adjusted
to normalize.
But he's looking at Instagram.
And I was like, we've got to soften.
It's easy for me to go like, look at this dingus.
He's on Instagram.
I'm like, he's anxious.
We're all anxious.
People even use anger as a way of being like, if you're angry, you're not
afraid at least.
You know what I mean?
You're something else for a moment.
Right.
And the fact that we are headlining this as a coping skill, not every coping
skill is great.
And not every coping skill is, and it's not an excuse.
And I'm a victim of, no, I'm not a victim.
The people around me are victimized by some of my coping skills.
I have an underlying-
Like they work for you, but maybe-
No, they don't even work.
But what I'm saying is-
I know you weren't being funny, but that's very funny.
I know.
They don't even work.
But here we are.
I relate.
So many things I'm doing, I'm like, this doesn't even work.
And I'm doing it.
I have an underlying, bubbling, dark anger, you know, that comes with the
territory of whatever my personal suffering is, that rears its ugly head
sometimes with, I don't have a lot of patience.
And I don't have a lot of-
And I spend a lot of time in my life apologizing for my behavior.
That's interesting.
What triggers it?
Not looking for a scoop here, but the first thing I said when I saw you today,
we're here at your studio, and it really has this like very nice Wonka, I said
this to you earlier, without the like sinister side of Gene Wilder's Wonka,
like the dark side.
It feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like it feels like this is a
very happy and even place.
It is a, this place that I reside in is meant, yes, that is the vibe that we
are going for, and that is the vibe.
I invite people into my world, you, in fact, are doing this particular episode
in my world, because I have a hard time leaving my world.
It is a place of comfort, it is a place of distraction, it is a place of
laughter, it is a place of art, and whether that art be technology-
Come with me and you'll see a world of Howie's imagination, giant donut,
everything's clean.
Yes, apparently the bathrooms that everybody else uses is not the same.
The guest bathroom has a non antimicrobial soap, which I thought was worth
noting.
Well, it's just about basic bitch soap, and I wash real good for you, but with
bitch soap.
But I've never been in that bathroom.
I know, but I'm the threat.
I'm the threat.
You're not making me comfortable.
But you think the guest bathroom should be the best bathroom.
So can I tell you what, like, it was a little trigger, but I'm over it, I'm
over it, you don't need to apologize.
How did you, I am sorry, how did you cope?
What, what, take me through your cope.
Well, it wasn't to cope.
So you came in, I did not know that you used the, the bathroom, you used the
bathroom.
Yeah, you came in and, and very politely said, Hey, I'm here a little early.
And you gave me the, the fist bump.
The mangle.
Wet.
Wet, because last time I was here, I dried on the, on the towels, lots of
towels.
Trees are screaming every time I'm in the bathroom.
They're not towels, paper towels.
PTs.
Yes.
PTSD.
Paper towels.
I, I go out and I remembered you giving me grief that last time they were still
a little wet.
Even though I many toweled them, that I wiped them.
Why can't you dry them all the way?
Isn't that the point?
Who, I'm just going to get them.
I think a little, like, you know, like a challah has like an egg wash.
That's how much moisture should be on your hands when you're done.
So here's the thing.
I'm not a big toucher, but you, you, you dampen my fist with your fist and then
regale me with
how shitty the soap is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I came in hot is what we call that.
Yeah.
So I'm going like, he doesn't think his hands are clean.
But they were clean.
See, you know, in the non-germaphobe world, I know you know this.
The regular world.
The non-Mandel world, Mandel, we, sometimes I'll shake somebody's hand and you
say, oh,
wet because I washed.
And that's a comfort.
It's like, instead of, I didn't piss all over myself, I'm not having an anxiety
attack.
It's wet because it's clean.
So the cleanliness, isn't there like a fork in the road there where you could
go, oh, good,
it's wet.
That means he washed.
Couldn't we make that choice?
Or is that what we're talking about?
Which I would have been okay with.
Yeah.
But it wasn't, it's wet because I washed.
It's wet because I washed with a dysfunctional soap, with something that's not
antibacterial,
with something that doesn't clean, which something is disappointing.
Well, do you, are you like a soap aficionado?
No.
Because I, okay, because here, aren't all soaps antibacterial?
Like, isn't the friction, I think it is that the friction and the water is what's
doing the
cleaning.
And then the soft soap people are like, we can charge a little bit more if we
put like
an antibiotic in here.
I'm not sure though.
The guy who created Purell has, I've met and he, he, he thanks me for, uh, your,
your help.
He does.
Yeah.
And how did you come about meeting this man?
So in 19, in 1998 or 97, we should look up what the, when did Purell come to be.
But, um, I, I was, I did a talk show.
I did a daytime talk show, the Howie Mandel show.
I came up with the name.
Well, actually my parents, my parents did.
This is good.
It comes with bits.
The topic comes with bits.
That's very good.
I like it so much.
You're a pro.
Thank you.
What fun.
It had a tag.
I came up with the name is the bet.
Yeah.
Actually, my parents came up with the name is the tag.
It was great.
I didn't even think of it.
Well done.
Thank you.
Keep it in your pocket.
I will.
So, um, I was suffering a lot, but I know, and, and I, I wanted to do a show.
It didn't turn out to be a great experience for me, but a big part of the
experience was everybody's
going to come on the show and as a host, you have to shake everybody's hand
every day.
There's going to be five people showing up, uh, clean, filthy, sick, just
promoting.
I mean, again, just to relate, we out here, I'm again, as a non, whatever that,
whatever,
I don't want to other you.
I'm just saying, I'm also out here going, who did I just meet?
Some clammy, unshaven, gross man.
But does that, but that doesn't, um, that, everything I'm thinking makes sense.
Yeah.
And I, I don't think other people wouldn't think it or even get it, but, uh,
what it does
is when you have OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, is it triggers a, uh, a plethora
of, you know, uh, worst case scenarios that don't stop and it's not.
You're being tormented with it.
Tormented to the point where.
So your brain is actually smart.
This, this dysfunction is smart.
It picks something that is rational.
You know what I mean?
And, and, and th