Name: Judd Apatow | You Made It Weird!
Uploaded: 2024-10-23T14:01:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Judd Apatow | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Judd Apatow | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-23. Transcript available.

Judd Apatow | You Made It Weird!

You made it weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Yeah.
You made it weird. With Pete Holmes. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made
it weird. Yeah.
What's happening, weirdos? I am thrilled you are here for the long overdue
return of my dear friend, Judd Apatow.
The first time Judd was on the pod, we did it at his house. It was at night.
Kind of had like a nighttime flavor.
And this is morning at his office. He's bright. He's chipper, cheery, and he's
delightful.
And I'm so glad. I like the other one too, but this one was extra special, I'm
going to say.
This one was extra special. He goes deep. He goes funny. And I'm so glad that
you're here.
If you want to see Judd, he's on tour right now for wonderful causes for the
Red Cross, for Hurricane Relief.
He's going to be in Atlanta on November 3rd at the Variety Playhouse with, I
believe, Jeff Foxworthy
and other special guests. That's for the Hurricane Relief in Georgia and then
November 9th in New York City
with very, very big special super secret guests and Mike Birbiglia as well.
What a letdown.
I'm just kidding. Mike Birbiglia, my dear friend, and Ricky Velez and other
super amazing secret guests
on November 9th, all to benefit the Red Cross and Hurricane Relief. Go to juddapatow.com
slash events for tickets. And thank you to everyone who came out and saw me in
Denver. It was so fun.
The next dates I have are October 29th in Los Angeles, Raleigh, North Carolina,
Indianapolis,
Seattle, Portland. We just added a second show. We're going to be filming that
as well, which is
going to be super fun. Portland at the Aladdin on December 20th. That is the
one. Hope you can be
there. 21st, you sold out, Eugene, Oregon. Thank you. And then Phoenix, Arizona
in February. So go to
PeteHolmes.com for those really, really excited for Portland on December 20th,
right around the
holidays. So go to PeteHolmes.com for all of those and maybe come see me in Los
Angeles on October
29th. That's the next one coming up. All right, everybody, let's enjoy the man
who needs no
introduction, the man who changed my life, the funny, the wonderful, the warm,
the intelligent,
the fun, the silly, the sensual. Judd Apatow, get into it. Your office has the
vibe
of someone who Googled high-end and then whatever it was. Yeah. Like you have
this record player that
looks at least $70,000 and I'm like, Judd, have you ever sat in here just grooving
to records?
Have I? I don't want to embarrass you. I'm just saying. Can I tell you what
happened with my
experience with vinyl? First of all, you've got a Kleenex box over your
shoulder. You don't like
that? Not for the whole podcast. Just toss it. Yeah. There it is. That's weird.
Some of my
employees masturbating during the day. With that sweet... They masturbate just
to the high-end
quality of that turntable. I mean, it's enough. Well, you know what? I didn't
have... It's enough.
I didn't have a vinyl turntable since high school. Yes. And then, I don't know,
maybe eight or nine
years ago, I went to Jim Carrey's house and he had the most amazing turntable.
Yes. And set up.
And I said to him, what is that? Because I'm not smart enough to figure out the
good one and I just
got the exact thing he did. Yes. That's the vibe. But you're saying you don't
believe that I use it.
This is how you are proven correct. It was recently I tried to use it. Do it,
yeah.
Turntable wouldn't spin. The guy comes and I'm like, how can it be broken?
Because I never use it.
And he goes, yeah, you know, the oil is going to muck it up if you don't use it.
You got to turn it around. So I had to pay an enormous amount of money to fix
it due to non-use.
Jim Carrey, I bet, is using his turntable. He does. You know why it's hard to
use? Because we're used to
an endless stream of music. For free. And you know what?
When it's like you got to get up every 19 minutes, it is a fucking bummer. We
need
eight inch, no, eight foot vinyls. There used to be vinyls that would like fall,
right? Like you could
stack them up. Yeah. I don't want to get up every 18 minutes. I think that's
part of the fun. My
friend Steve Hart in high school told me this amazing music experience where he
was listening to jazz
records. And the only thing that was keeping him awake was knowing that he'd
have to get up and turn it
over. So that like kept him engaged in the music. Yeah. That's not what I think.
I think halfway
through the side, I'm like, can't believe I got to get up in eight minutes. I'm
gone. Yeah. I look
at the needle like, I don't want to get up. It's a thing. You made me think of
something that I
want. I didn't want to lose. Jim Carrey. Consumer goods. Consumer high end
products. High end products.
I don't like high end products generally, but that is one that I decided
because I don't really have
any interest. So I went for that. I was going to say up top, one of the, one of
the strangest things
about my life is that I, I consider you my very dear friend, my very close
friend.
That's the weirdest thing of your life. What I'm saying is you are a hero of
mine
and we've sort of transcended that. Yeah. I now think of you when you say I'm
not a high end guy,
I think of you first and foremost as Maude and Iris's dad. Yeah. Wearing new
balances,
kind of in that space. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I've lost all of the,
of the magic
and the mystery of Judd. Well, when I first met you, I'm, I'm like aghast. This
is a very long time
ago now. And now it's very normal. I talk to you. Yeah. I'd say at least once a
week, we'd shoot the shit.
We talk about fears, insecurities, growth, sharing, caring. And that's very
cool for me.
And I'm very grateful for you. As am I. It's very fun, right? I don't have a
lot of friends.
Where are you in friends? I think, uh, I was just talking this morning about
how there's something
wrong with me in, in that area. No, no. What do you mean? No men have friends.
I think, I think
there's something weird about friends generally as an adult. Cause you know,
one of the things was,
I had children young. Yes. Right. And so all my friends had kids later. So then
you basically
lose all your friends. Right. Because you're not in sync with them. Right. I'm
so with you. Cause
you know, we have a six year old and like, if someone doesn't have kids, I'm
not saying we can't
be friends, but I'm sort of saying we can't really be. It's over. It's sort of
over. And so if you're 10
years ahead of everybody. Right. Yeah. And you know, no one with a kid. Yeah.
Like nobody. Yeah.
And then that's, that's your life. And so now all your friends are still high
drinking. Yep.
Carousing. Well, you're Ben Stone. You're Seth Rogen's character in Knocked Up.
That's what that came from. And you still, I know. And you still have Martin Starr
thinking it's funny
if he doesn't cut his hair and you're like, I have to buy nipples. Exactly. And
you're like,
I'm buying breast pumps. And now that my kids have moved out. Yeah. I'm not in
sync again. Yeah.
Cause all their kids are in school. So I'm just like, you want to, you know,
maybe we could do acid
now. They're like, I've got the sixth grade potluck, you know? And so I'm still
out of sync
with everyone, which is also a weird feeling. I think that's one of you correct
me if I'm wrong,
but I feel like that's one of the things we connect with. Like I, in general,
very comfortable on the
show doing this podcast. I'm very comfortable on stage, comfortable on set
acting, but like in the,
that's only like 3% of my life. So like 97% of the time. You're deeply
uncomfortable.
Just a little out. Yeah. And I think, I think like attracts like, and I think
you and I are both going
like, what do we do? Like, what do we do with our hands? Like how many
sandwiches? Yeah. How many
sandwiches is the right amount. Yeah. I just realized that you don't have to
eat a pine ice
cream. I literally just realized you can eat a court, a court like the bigger
one. Yeah. You
could just go to the court. You've you're doing a full court court press or
maybe a court over the
whole course of a day where you're like eat, get some chocolate syrup, pour it
all over the top of
the court do half. Yeah. Right. For a few hours and then go, go back. I'm going
to go kill that court.
But you and I also have that in common. We have the food wound. The food is
like the ultimate wound
with kids too. I was talking to Val about this. I don't, it's almost like I
fundamentally don't trust
people who don't eat. Like if someone can put the lid back on a Ben and Jerry's
and put it in the freezer,
I look at them like they just killed a baby dog or something. I'm just kind of
like, I look at anyone
healthy. I look at anyone healthy as basically having anorexia. Yeah. Something's
up, right? Like I feel
like they have control issues or something. I go right there. But, but it's not
that they do,
they don't. Yeah. But in my head, because I'm so fucked up, I want them to be
fucked up. Of course.
So when I see anyone go, I'll just have a salad and a chicken and no oil on
that in my head,
I'm like, there's something seriously wrong with them. That's the same as what's
wrong with me. Yes.
But no, it's probably they're fine. It comes out in another way. Yeah. Well, I'm
very fast to be like,
oh, it's compulsive. You know, in, um, in, uh, forgetting Sarah Marshall. And
by the way,
I always say this when we talk, I'm not just doing this for your benefit. These
are my references.
You know what I mean? Like they're all Russell Brand references. They're only
Russell Brand.
I'm a huge RV. They're only Diddy references. Are you only going to mention
people who are in trouble?
Uh, on the way to the bathroom, Russell Brand's in one of your murals. Do you
know that?
I'm not saying you need to scrub. Oh, then I have a, I have a picture there.
I have a picture where he's kind of, and I was like, and then I was going to
look for Diddy.
I was going to take pictures of both of them. Yeah.
Send it to you.
We're literally looking all across the building. Like where else did we have a
Diddy thing?
Yeah. Right. You gotta, it just changes the quality of it all. I was just
saying last time.
Terminex will get rid of your, your Diddy pictures. They do termites, mats.
You have to tell an assistant, look for things with Diddy. Make sure they're
not prominent.
Maybe they can be there, but not prominent. We can have an album he produced.
Yeah. But I'm sure there's like a director right now who's like, what do we do
with the usual suspects poster?
Yeah, of course. Right. For everybody. It's a thing.
Uh, but I was thinking that, you know, uh, you know, when things come up and
people get in trouble, like Cosby or something.
And then you're just like, no one should watch the Cosby show.
Yeah. And it's something like, then you have like a movie you made. Yes. And
you're like, well, I mean, there's other actors in there.
I mean, it's not fair to the director and the writer just because he did awful
things that we can't enjoy the other.
Like you instantly become a hypocrite.
That's funny and difficult. It is. I, when I was unpacking my office, I found
Why Is There Air, the Bill Cosby record.
And it was the only one that had shattered. And I was like, how perfect, how
sad and heavy.
But you did cast both Diddy and Russell Brand in Get Him the Greek. Do you feel
like something's wrong with you?
No. Well, the funny thing about that is, you know, you, you feel weird because
it's not just you cast them.
You found them to be the most delightful people in the world.
Yeah. You were taken with them.
Yeah. You're like, Oh my God, this is incredible.
There has to be a moment you go up to Diddy and you're like, you're a natural
man. Don't change. Don't change.
What you got, what you got, everything you're doing. Don't change.
This character you've created with this terrifying, intense record company guy.
Oh yeah.
It's a riot.
Did you watch the P Diddy reality show where he made his assistants walk?
Yeah.
I watche