Name: Lamorne Morris | You Made It Weird!
Uploaded: 2024-12-11T15:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lamorne Morris | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lamorne Morris | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-11. Transcript available.

Lamorne Morris | You Made It Weird!

You made it weird. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made it weird. Yeah.
You made it weird. With Pete Holmes. You made it weird. Yes, you did. You made
it weird. Yeah.
What's happening, weirdos? This is Lamorne. Lamorne Morris. I bumped the mic.
Lamorne Morris, you know him. You love him. He was on Fargo, the newest season
of Fargo, and was incredible, and won an Emmy for that. Holy smokes. I'm not
sure if this is our first Emmy. It can't be.
But it's the first one in a long time. What a thrill. Also, he was in Game
Night, New Girl. He's awesome. He also has his own podcast, which is also
awesome. It's called La Morning After, and you should check that out, whomever
you get your podcasts, and I'm so glad you guys are here. This is an awesome
episode. It's a fun chat, and I don't have much to say up top other than PeteHolmes.com
for all of my tour dates. If you're listening to this the day it comes out, I'm
at Largo tonight, December 11th.
Here in Los Angeles. After that, on December 19th, I'll be in Seattle. Then we
have the next Largo is January 17th, Salt Lake City. I'll be there in January,
February, Phoenix, and then April, I'll be in Austin.
So all of those are on PeteHolmes.com. Hope you can be there. And we do the Largo
show in Los Angeles every month. Even if I'm not listing that date, you can go
to Largo-LA.com. Always fun. This week, this month, we have Nikki Glaser, Laura
Bites, and some music. It's going to be great. Every time it's a great lineup.
And I'm also there as well.
So, all right, everybody. Enjoy Lamorne. Get into it.
Yeah, dude, I know. No, they were driving, too.
What the?
Anyone you've seen on this podcast that's like, can I have a beer? That's
actually not true. Sam Jay had a couple beers. She wasn't driving.
Okay, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be really shitty.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That'd be really horrible of these people.
I agree. Don't go chasing waterfalls. It's something I felt compelled to say,
but also don't go doing a Timberlake.
Ooh, but he was doing a lot of stuff, wasn't he?
Was he?
He had like, there was some, he had this, he had weird like ancient shit in his
system, apparently.
Ayahuasca?
Man.
What was he doing?
I don't really, I don't want to drag him. Everyone loves J. Tim.
I love J. Tim. He's having a good time.
He's out there with the ancient roots and the barks.
Now we're starting a new rumor.
Tell me what he, what do you know?
This is a gossip podcast.
He was on the old oriental dust.
He was? He was on opium?
No, I just made that up.
But he, possibly, I just, this is just coming from my, my very terrible memory.
I just have a great memory, but I do think it was like...
Good self-love there.
Yeah, thanks, it's one of the best.
I loved it.
It's one of the best memories.
Beautiful memory.
It gives people PTSD.
I've tried doing Trump on stage since the win, and people literally like make a
sad sound in some cities.
Yeah, my sister does it all the time.
When she does Trump?
Because now I, when I speak, I just do like this as a bit to her.
Me too.
And she's just like, stop.
It's so fun.
Look, all reality aside.
Yes.
It is funny to just kind of...
It is.
Just kind of...
Listen, it makes me laugh.
Dude, what happens is, you've lit me up.
What happens is, sometimes I'm on stage doing stand-up, and I just end up
talking like Trump by accident because it's a funny way to talk.
I also think what it is, is that he's so polarizing that whoever's like in the
zeitgeist, whoever's...
It's true.
If we had a president that talked like Elvis, we'd all be doing Elvis.
It's in your consciousness.
It just happens to be...
And he happens to be funny, so it's one of those things.
Well, what it is, is like, this isn't...
Who cares?
I was going to say, it's grotesque confidence, which is really funny.
That doesn't mean gross confidence.
Yeah.
I know you know that, but it means absurd confidence, which is funny.
Charlie Chaplin's tramp is absurdly confident.
Yeah.
He's a homeless, he's an unhoused, Hitler-mustached man, and he's going to
fancy dinner parties and shit.
That's absurd, grotesquely confident.
So when I'm on stage, and I'm doing a joke, and it's not quite working,
and a little sprinkle of...
Like, if I had one critique of most comedy, specifically stand-up, I'd be like,
say something.
I don't mean political or life-changing, but say fucking something.
Like, I have a joke right now where I go, can Starbucks stop pretending that
pumpkin spice
lattes are seasonal?
At least we're talking about something.
At least I'm mad.
But that would be like, they're not seasonal, they're not seasonal, they have
them year-round.
That would be like a...
That's his thing, is to at least provoke or fucking go...
And too much comedy, and I mean at all levels, I mean like established comedians,
do these kind
of like a silent fart kind of joke, that's like nothing, neither here nor there,
and you'll
never say what you want about old Donny boy, but he's not limping around.
No, no, no, he's very aggressive.
Very aggressive, and yeah.
Very aggressive, even when he sucked at Mike's dick.
He did what now?
He sucked at the mic from, like it was a penis.
He did what now?
Yeah, he took the microphone, two-handed it.
He did not.
He did that to a microphone.
Is this really, he sucked a ding-dong?
Yes, like a microphone ding-dong, but he knew what he was doing?
He was like, this is like what I'm doing?
Well, here's what he was doing, here's what he was doing.
I get my news from my guests, by the way.
Well, here's the thing, he was, I saw a clip where they were like, what is this
guy doing?
He's at a rally, he's sucking off the mic stand, and I was like, I laughed at
it, and
I went, there's got to be more to the story, there's got to be more context to
it, because
usually that's how the media works, when you're trying to smear one side,
you use the part that will get him.
Yeah, for sure.
No matter what side of the coin you stand on, that's the name of the game.
Let's make you look bad, so we win.
Right, right, right.
And so I looked at it just to see what the full clip was, and yeah, that's what
he did.
I watched from front to back.
And you know what?
There's no two ways to slice that one.
But his reasoning behind it, in my opinion, was like, I see what he's trying to
say, but
you still did the action.
He was making fun of someone else.
He was making fun of how low the mic was, and like, they want me to do this,
they want
me to, he's like, it's so low, and I need a good mic, and he was like, shitting
on the
sound guy, and he was like, go in.
Terrible sound guy.
Yeah, he was like, they're the worst.
They're the worst.
So stupid, they're so dumb.
So dumb.
These are the worst sound guys.
Look at that guy back there.
He doesn't even have headphones on, he doesn't even know what I'm saying.
He doesn't even have ears, that guy's deaf, so dumb and deaf.
And then he does deaf voice, goes viral.
People would forgive it immediately, or his fans would.
And then he leans over, and he just grabs the mic, and he goes, I had to do it.
I had to do it.
I had to do it.
If I see something that low and hard, I have to do it.
Got to put my mouth around it.
I got the best mouth.
No one has a better mouth than me.
I'm going to say, I had to do it, is what we're talking about.
That's the comedy standpoint.
It's like, I had to.
I had to do it.
Go ahead, please.
I'll say something long-winded while you're having to do it.
No, I'm just, I just.
You came in saying you were thirsty.
I know, but then you were going and I know, and now we're off.
And I can talk about, what a great coat.
Burberry?
Oh, this old thing?
That's a guess.
Just a guess.
Sandro.
Can we talk about, I don't know what that means.
Sandro, that's the name of the brand.
No, I know, but I don't know what that means.
Am I like, ooh, Sandro.
You should be.
Oh, Sandro Bullock over here.
There she is.
Well, that camera's very low.
Don't go suck it.
Don't do it.
I got to do it.
I got to do it.
Got to do it.
I know, everyone listening, I'm going to apologize.
I'm sorry.
I diffuse everything in my life by making fun of it.
And if I stop doing that voice, which I understand might be inciting to people,
that's like the terrorists of one sort of moment.
Yeah.
We need to keep shopping.
We need to have the biggest Christmas ever, you know, that sort of thing.
So that's my rationale there.
Yeah.
I just think it's funny.
That's all.
That's the only reason why I do it.
Can I ask you, as a well-dressed man?
Oh, thank you.
I just today went to APC, which stands for something in French.
Apache.
Is that what it means?
No.
I just made that up.
I like that.
Yeah.
But you did it very convincing.
Native French.
It's very tempting to do Trump.
I really want to do it.
The whole episode, I'm going to want to do it.
And I feel like every time you're going to pronounce something incorrectly or
over-enunciate
certain parts, you have to do it in Trump's voice as well.
China.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to say, lion camera.
You have to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whenever you're going to intentionally mispronounce something.
But that's the grotesque confidence.
And that's what comedy is, is getting over a lot of humps.
Yeah.
Like you don't know how to say the word, say it.
Kind of funny.
Exactly.
Oh, yeah.
That's been my coping strategy.
My coping strategy.
I was like, I'm dying this whole time.
Anyway, so I go into APC, but here's what, dude.
First of all, I'm six foot six.
So a lot of times I go into these stores and they don't have anything for me.
So there's like a certain amount of shame.
But I was in the car.
I'm going to put this back to you.
I'm in the car and I went to their website because I haven't gone in APC.
It's for those that don't know, I wouldn't have known.
It's like a fancy clothing store.
And I went on their website just to see if I was like, what if they don't even
have a men's
section?
Yeah.
But let me tell you, and this is what I want you to speak to.
The amount of shame.
I was so prepared to go in and be embarrassed.
It's just a store.
But I'm like, I'm going to look in the wrong section.
I'm going to get the wrong thing.
They're not going to have my size.
Everything I put on is going to look ridiculous.
Do you have any of that anxiety going in?
You don't look like you do.
Well, hold on.
First of all, it's a nice store.
It's not Met Gala shit.
I understand.
It's not like you're going to walk in and it's going to be-
Nothing was inflatable.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Just a can of paint and shoes.
Yeah, I know.
You're like, how do I put this on?
How do I use the three seashells?
Surprisingly, all three go on your left breast.
And the rest, we all enjoy.
This is the new Met Gala.
100%.
But you're comfortable?
I am.
As a-
Here's the thing.
As a well-dressed.
I was even going to say fly.
Well, you know what's interesting about fashion nowadays is that it's just
confidence.
It's some fashion that I've seen, in my opinion, I go, oh, you look awful.
Yeah.
But they are walking up with the chest high.
They're smiling.
And people are taking the photos.
And I go, oh, I guess that must be cool.
We love confidence.
We got to be confident.
Bjork in the Swan.
I immediately go to Bjork in the Swan.
Anyone else in the Swan?
Wasn't someone wearing meat?
Yeah, was that Lady Gaga?
Lady Gaga.
Yeah, Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga.
We're just going to have to put a warning on this episode.
Look, guys, if you're still feeling it, don't listen.
So I think it's a confidence thing.
No, when I go, like, when I walk into a store, I'm like a hoodie person in a
baseball hat, like, kind of person.
Yeah.
Everything else is some stuff that, I don't know.
Thank you for saying I-
I mean, you had me at tastefuls.
Very soft, clean jacket.
No, it's not pilling.
Thank you.
You know what I mean?
It looks like you take care of that jacket.
Beat up, peeling jacket?
Yeah, but you-
Yeah, it's not that.
Okay.
It's not-
It's clean.
Thank you.
It's ready to go.
Thank you.
And when I saw you-
We