Name: Adam Ray is here! | You Made It Weird!
Uploaded: 2025-01-08T15:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Ray is here! | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Adam Ray is here! | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-08. Transcript available.

Adam Ray is here! | You Made It Weird!

You made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, yeah.
You made it weird, with Pete Holmes.
Yes you did, you made it weird, yeah.
What's happening weirdos?
This is the return of Adam Ray,
who since we last talked to Adam has become Dr. Phil.
I don't know if you know that.
He transformed magically into noted and celebrated therapist, Dr. Phil.
And he's on Netflix right now with Dr. Phil Unleashed.
He's also on tour.
These shows are hilarious, I've done them myself.
They're so fun.
Go to adamraycomedy.com.
He's going to be in Las Vegas, San Francisco, Phoenix.
A lot of shows in Phoenix, LA, Denver, Salt Lake City, Milwaukee.
All of those are available at adamraycomedy.com.
Those are his Dr. Phil live shows.
Adam is also just one of the funniest and nicest people I know.
I really, really enjoy him as a person.
And every chance I get to talk with him, I enjoy very deeply.
So let's get to it.
As I always say, as quickly as possible.
I want to say thank you to everybody who's been coming out to the live shows.
Alfreda.
Alfreda, Georgia was awesome this past weekend.
And if you'd like to see me live, these are my dates on PeteHolmes.com.
We have Los Angeles at the Largo, which is going to be an awesome show.
I'm very excited about that one on January 17th.
Followed by Salt Lake City, Phoenix, Arizona, Vancouver, British Columbia,
Austin, Texas, and Nashville, Tennessee.
All of those are available on PeteHolmes.com.
And the tickets to the Largo ones are at Largo-LA.com.
Although there's a link on PeteHolmes.com as well.
And because this is somewhat a shorter episode, we're going to shout out a
couple of the Pete's picks up top.
Sorry, got mumble mouth.
So I don't know how your holiday season was.
But if your gifts were a little bit of a letdown, like maybe you got a novelty
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I swim every day.
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They get so many compliments when I'm doing my New Year's Day River Cold Plunge.
Shout out.
They look awesome.
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A lot of bathing suits don't have that extra length to the liner.
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They look amazing.
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Polos are so comfortable.
They make my other polos blush with embarrassment.
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W-E-A-R.
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We're also brought to us by our friends at Mudwater.
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All right, everybody.
Enjoy Adam Ray.
If Gail holds it, Oprah molds it.
And if Oprah molds it, the mold won.
Never mind.
They can't still be friends.
Who, Gail and Phil?
Oprah and Phil.
Oprah and Phil.
Why?
I just feel like they're...
Look, settle in.
Don't feel like you have to hit this one out of the park.
Just get cozy.
Get comfy.
Oh, are we taping this?
We're filming.
We're filming.
Let me open with this.
Before you tell me why Dr. Phil and Oprah cover the dick, we all get a semi
walking in.
We all get that.
I'm about to be on You Made It Weird pre-bone.
It's a thing.
You pre-boning it, Bo?
I'm pre-boning it.
Bo?
I'll call you Bo.
Call me whatever.
I want to say...
Yes.
You're one of those guys.
You're so funny.
Thanks, Pete.
You're so nice.
Thanks, Pete.
I always, always, always love seeing you.
Likewise.
And I know you're of the Jewish persuasion, which is funny because I gave it
away.
No, I think of you as...
It's like I'm going to everybody's bar mitzvah right now.
I think of you as deep Italian.
Really?
Deep Italian.
God, I wish.
I do love a good meatball.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You look like...
Which is what an Italian would say.
They love working in a round meat.
Working in a round meat.
We'll keep it in.
Isn't there something about when people go, I love a...
Like, I just said, I love a good meatball.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If I just said, I love a meatball, it's implied that you love...
A good meatball.
Right.
Like ATM machine.
It's almost...
Yeah.
The MS machine.
You love it.
Yeah.
I'm not mad at a good meatball.
Yeah.
I do miss a meatball.
I don't eat meat no more.
And the most fun way to eat meat...
Perfect.
I'm gonna put it...
Look, this is a...
You feel better.
You feel better.
What's that?
You've probably done all the research of why it's...
Why?
Yeah.
You know, I went back for a year, and I was like, fuck this shit.
Didn't miss it.
I was like...
But I gave it a full year of just kind of like trying to be healthier and
eating chicken
like all the fucking cut people, you know?
Yeah.
And I was like, this fucking sucks.
Everybody that just eats chicken is pretty svelte, yeah?
Isn't that code for steroids?
Yep.
Zero hesitation.
You hit that ball back with zero hesitation.
That's one of my favorite...
Dude, I actually wrote it down.
I've never asked somebody.
I wrote conspiracy.
What's your favorite conspiracy?
Whether or not you believe in it, like you kind of believe in it.
And we already tripped into one, which is on the internet, if celebrities say,
how did you get
so buff and they say broccoli and chicken breast, that's code for...
I think so.
Human growth hormone.
Yes.
And tests and steroids.
Yes.
Which aren't even...
Like Jojo Rogan does steroids, I believe.
Has to.
Yeah.
No, I think he does.
Yes.
Like, I think he's open about it.
I'm not...
That's not shots fired.
I think some people are just like, yeah, you can't get a certain size without
it.
I don't think the human body is, I think, our boy, Dwayne Johnson.
Your body, the human body at a certain age.
He's my height.
Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
Same body.
Well, one of us is slightly.
Nice.
That looks fun.
Is this good?
Somebody has a good time with that.
My pubes didn't show, did they?
Don't think about it.
Don't play it back.
That's not Bobby Lee.
Don't play it back.
Bobby Lee's...
We've all seen the chemtrails, Bobby.
I toured with Bobby.
That was the first guy I went on the road with, and I saw his wiener more than
I saw my own.
So you're the tell-all book we've been waiting for.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I'm sure everyone's got a handful of Bobby Lee stories, but...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but the road is where you, and you can attest to this better than anyone,
that's where you get to know yourself, but get to know whoever you're with,
really.
For real.
If you want to, I mean...
And you and your opener start to merge.
Yeah.
And it goes both ways.
Oh, wow, yeah.
I want to shout out Matt McCarthy, who's been opening for me for over a year
now.
And this is one of the most loving things.
He had a line.
It's kind of like a...
I wouldn't say it's like a basic line, but it's sort of like an anybody line.
It's...
This is going to lead to some awkward car rides home.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
You can...
Other comedians use that.
It's not like...
But he was using it, and then I had a bit where it was perfect, and where he
had it, it was
only...
It was sort of optional, and he let me have it.
Wow.
And then I'm giving him tags.
But then you hear like the voices.
The voices are...
They should.
Yeah.
They should merge a little bit.
That's...
It's like all girls dorm.
Yeah.
Sync up.
There's your clip.
I'm just kidding.
Do guys have an equivalent...
Is that our equivalent of syncing up?
Well, guys Jayette on the same schedule, which is every day.
We'll be right back.
People on the audio only will think...
Guys jerk it at the same...
You don't realize you're doing it right now, the way we're talking.
There's two guys out there jerking at the same time.
In the same rhythm.
In the same rhythm, in the same room.
They're only jerking it when you're...
But facing the other way.
Of course...
Well...
Well...
Well, okay.
I haven't been everywhere.
I can't.
Fuck, I am not.
What is that called?
It's when you locate in two places.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Time traveling?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You brought up the rock.
I just love that you had...
This goes back to my original compliment about you.
Yeah.
Always fun, always funny, and a mensch.
That's why I was going to say you're of the Jewish persuasion.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Because I was going to call you a mensch.
Yes.
But the times when I've had things to promote and stuff, you reach out.
Oh, yeah.
So sweet.
Well, I mean, you are...
It's wild.
This business is wild.
As I look at a picture of Steve Martin, Wild and Crazy Kids.
That's right.
Wild and Crazy Guys.
Wild and