Name: Mo Welch joins the show! | You Made It Weird!
Uploaded: 2025-01-15T15:00:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mo Welch joins the show! | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mo Welch joins the show! | You Made It Weird!' from Pete Holmes on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-15. Transcript available.

Mo Welch joins the show! | You Made It Weird!

You made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, yeah.
You made it weird, with Pete Holmes.
You made it weird, yes you did, you made it weird, yeah.
What's happening weirdos?
This is obviously a devastating, devastating, very sad time.
Super, super heavy.
We are all feeling it.
Me and my family are all right.
We're doing okay.
But so many people that we know have lost their homes
and countless more that we don't know.
And it is, as I said, it's devastating.
It's not business as usual by any means.
But we wanted to keep episodes coming out
because a lot of us, I think myself at least,
are looking for things to get our mind off it,
even if it's just for a brief respite
or if you're, I don't know,
looking for something else to think about.
This episode was recorded before all of this.
It was recorded actually, I think, before the new year even.
And it's a delightful chat.
And as I say, as I said,
I hope it gives some joy and a break
if that's what you're looking for.
Obviously, we hope our thoughts and our prayers
and our donations and help is to Los Angeles.
Please keep helping in the ways that you see fit.
It's crazy.
Our house is currently filled with folks that had to leave.
It's just an insane, insane time.
And I want to honor that.
And we're dropping this episode in the midst of all of this.
Wishing you the best.
Hope everybody is safe.
Hope everybody is coping, doing all right.
And as silly as it sounds,
if you're looking for a really wonderful break,
I recommend Moe's special.
It's called Dad Jokes.
It's on YouTube right now.
Or you can come see her live
or come see me live
when things come back to normal.
In the meantime, enjoy this wonderful chat.
Really trying to just keep some positivity out there.
Sending everybody the best.
And our thoughts and hearts are with L.A. right now.
In the meantime, enjoy Moe Welch.
Get into it.
Oh, oh.
It's like on Comedians in Cries
when you hear them ordering.
Right.
It's my favorite part of the show.
I like when he picks them up.
Me too, but I don't like that the phone call's fake.
Yeah.
It would have been nice.
I mean, I would have liked it
if it were just spontaneous
and they were really just picking them up.
And they were like,
a lot of it was just like 45 minutes
of the interview was just them being like,
are you sure?
I can't do this.
No, I...
This isn't a good day for me.
No, no, no.
I'm like, I got the kids today.
Because then you'd actually...
Like, I'm one of those people that...
One of those people.
I'm making it a category of people.
But one of my fantasies
is that the world would freeze.
You know, like Vicky.
Right.
Or Zach.
A lot of sitcoms wanted time
to stop.
And that I could just walk around
and see what everybody was doing
at the moment of the freeze.
So not an abandoned earth,
but an earth that was frozen
just at one random moment.
I could go in and like...
Because you're either that kind of snooper.
Right.
Like, I love looking in windows,
not to see anything scandalous per se,
but I just want to see someone...
Living?
Living.
I like that.
Yeah.
Is that creepy?
No, because I understand.
Because if there were like a Pompeii now,
Yeah, Pompeii now.
And like, oh God, it'd be so bad
to just be a lot of people
like on their phones like this.
It'd be so sad.
Pompeii now would be...
And actually my little thing
would have been way more interesting
in the 80s and 90s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot more like fighting and slapping and...
Oh yeah, just like mid-throat
or like throwing something at my sister's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or your dad throwing an atlas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, you've done your research.
Bumping mics.
Great spesh.
Yeah, thank you.
Have you seen my spesh, Bumping mics?
Yeah, Bumping mics.
I've never done this before.
It's you, it's you and Attell.
Me and Attell, Bumping mics.
I also love saying Attell when I've never met him.
But like still going last name basis.
You're so funny.
Attell is...
That is such a...
That's the best example.
More than Hicks or Hedberg, you go Attell.
You go Attell.
Well, nobody...
Burr.
I think people might say Burr.
When I was coming up, it was all Attell.
What was that last one?
Marin.
Marin.
Yeah.
It was like Mark Marin.
No, no, no.
First of all, that was a bit.
Second of all, I thought you meant...
Mark's a great stand-up.
We were listing some...
Now it seems like I got to walk that back and say I'm...
Because Mark is a great stand-up.
No, no, no.
He is.
No, I actually took that as you were like, no, that is not a good name for just
saying
last name.
It has to be Mark Marin.
No, no, no.
It's definitely Marin.
Do a lot of people call you Holmes?
No.
Yeah, because I think there aren't enough Pete's in comedy.
Davidson.
Right.
But...
Pete.
Somebody a long, long time ago, and I really liked it.
You ever keep one?
Kept it.
Yeah.
They said, all you need to know about the difference between WTF and You Made
It Weird.
Is Mark wants people to call him Marin, and I want everyone to call me Petey Pants.
And that really is like a nice...
Like, right there.
Yeah.
We get it.
That's great.
One is Marin, which is an intimidating...
And by the way, he is a great stand-up.
I just...
Wouldn't...
I'm not going back to that.
I wasn't getting that at all.
I thought you were just talking about his name.
Because some people, you don't want to hear...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see.
I see what you're saying.
Like Welch, you know?
Nobody really calls me Welch.
No.
Yeah.
Fun first name.
You're an FFA.
Yeah.
And it's just one syllable as well.
So it's like, why not?
People love saying Mo.
Yeah.
How do you feel about Mosef?
Mosef.
I get Mosef.
Mosana.
Mostef?
Mostef.
Mo Money.
You ever get Mostef?
No, not yet.
Not till now.
I'll be the first to get Mo Money.
Mo Money.
What does Brett Coldstein call you?
He calls me Mo Sana a lot.
Mo Sana?
Yeah, Mo Sana.
Hi, Mo Sana.
Yeah.
It's good to see you.
Mosef is some...
What movie is the best movie of all time?
It's not bad, right?
I did his...
That's like a B minus.
C plus?
It's so hard.
I mean...
I like that instead of critiquing it, you're like, it's just a hard impression.
Oh, it's so...
Well, I can't do impressions, but they...
Apparently, neither can I.
I did his podcast, and I was so embarrassed because I forgot my list.
I did all my homework, but then we were on the road, forgot my list, and I just
said Uncle
Buck basically for everything when he asks you, like, what movie would you die
with?
Yeah, of course.
The reboot.
Yeah.
Ever be part of a ritual killing?
I just wanted you to feel seen.
Oh, that would be so good.
Yeah, thank you.
Then something, if you ever make out like that in public again, you'll be part
of one.
Yeah.
I'll never forget the guy at the bowling alley getting the toothpick stuck in
his mouth when
he's like...
Yeah.
It's perfect.
So good.
Because the 80s...
If there's one thing...
Tell me the 80s what didn't carry over.
Mm-hmm.
It's flipping toothpicks.
Yeah.
And that was a big part.
Right.
My dad had a toothpick.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Yeah, thanks.
You ever get that?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Like when I'm drinking in front of an alcoholic.
Sorry.
My dad...
Sorry.
Your dad probably didn't have a toothpick, right?
We'll get to your dad.
Yeah.
Your dad is the guy with the little goatee from Tiger King.
Yeah.
Do you remember that guy?
Yes.
Yes.
That guy is worse than...
You mean Joe Exotic, right?
That guy?
No, no, no.
It's a different guy?
This riff is hotter than like a basic first-year improviser would call your dad
Joe Exotic.
Right.
Yes.
I'm a fucking professional.
Yeah, yeah.
You're going third thought.
Your dad is like late in the season, a weird guy with no hair and white, a
white thin goatee
and a very...
I don't want to say any...
All my real feelings would be inappropriate.
Yeah.
Even though they'd be accurate.
I mean, I don't even remember...
I don't remember him ever having a goatee, but that would be the one if he had
one.
Yeah.
It's a variety of guy.
But that takes a really long time.
That thin goatee.
Oh, yeah.
That's so much manicuring for it to look like that.
I know.
Remember when Prince wrote Slave on his cheek and facial hair?
No, but I'll look it up.
Give it a goog.
Goog image search.
Say search off because that's a...
Yeah.
It's a rough one.
I'll do it on your desktop.
He also wrote JK in his pubes, so...
Really?
No.
Okay.
Well, okay.
I'm extremely gullible.
I'm a slave to the music industry.
Oh, me too.
I really am.
Everything you say, I will believe.
Yeah.
Your dad is the guy from Tiger King.
He is.
Deal with that.
I wouldn't be surprised.
But my dad would...
It's actually a fond dad memory is he'd have a toothpick in his mouth, because
it's the 80s,
and had put it in his mouth to kiss us goodbye for school.
That's actually...
That's sweet.
No, I know.
It's very sweet.
That's sweet and...
We were waiting for something.
Trashy.
Like a little trashy.
It's a little trashy.
But like in a sweet way.
But also in the 80s, what was trashy to us was like fucking...
Of course, I just put the toothpick in my mouth when I kissed my kids.
Right.
We also were kissing on the lips.
Really?
Deal with it.
Wow.
God.
You're just bringing out the like dad love.
You had...
You set the stage with a sensational...
We're going to edit this out.
But a sensational special.
We're going to take this out.
Don't worry.
But it's so good.
It's called Dad Jokes.
It's like beep special.
You can watch it on...
It's available.
My favorite part was...
Anything that's a compliment.
Just beep.
Yeah.
Anything.
Anything that's positive.
Oh my God.
Yes.
But it is sensational.
And you got me all...
I was going to say lubed up.
But I'm going to say like wet and ready.
Yeah.
Let me walk that back.
Wet and ready.
Wet slip and slide.
Ready to go.
Can I tell you that I...
Growing up never knew that wet had like a connotation that a woman was aroused.
I don't think I knew that for a very long time.
Right?
Yeah.
Given your bits.
Yeah.
We were in the same...
Right, right.
There was not a lot happening for a while.
I don't know when I figured...
I may not know that still.
It was not as accessible.
Especially...
Listen, especially wet because that is like...
I mean, when we were growing up, you weren't getting into how do you make a
woman feel good.
Yes.
How do you make a...
You know, like until you're like way older.
And we didn't have porn.
Panty dropper was as close as you could get.
Meaning it would help you get what you want.
Yeah.
Like the gates of Jurassic Park will open.
They didn't say what was on the panties, not to be gross, but they were like,
you know...
Brittle.
Yeah.
There was nothing about arousal.
Bon Jovi.
Slippery when wet.
Thank you, Bon Jovi.
Well, Bon has the face...
Such a feminist.
If there was a coin of a guy who does oral for ladies, it's Bon Jovi.
And that's not...
That's not shot fired.
You got to put...
You got to...
Remember his hair was so long, you got to put it in a ponytail like you're
throwing up.
And his bass player would hold his hair back while he would...
I got this.
He went down on the ladies.
I'm now worried that slippery when wet was Van Halen.
Which...
Anyway, my point is...
They had long hair too, right?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
The bit stamps.
We'll beep that out.
Yeah.
The bit...
Oh, yeah.
We'll cut it back.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, Katie.
That's going to take you three hours just to make that bit work.
JK, you missed nothing.
We happened to see Katie when she wasn't ready, which I loved.
What was I saying?
Oh.
Although, like...
I'd see, like, a video.
At the top shelf of a video store, and it would be called, like, Playboy Wet
and Wild.
This is the first time I've thought of this, which is really special for me,
having done
this show for so long, to have a fresh idea, and I'm excited to share it with
you.
I remember being a kid and being like, they're just, like, in the pool, man.
They're, like, slipping around.
They're on a slip and slide.
They have a hose.
Because, like, glistening and wet is kind of sexy.
That's all I thought it was.
Right.
And maybe that was 