Name: Staff Favorite Moments: Steve O'Donnell | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-01T16:01:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Steve O'Donnell | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Staff Favorite Moments: Steve O'Donnell | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Hello.
All right, this is pretty simple.
This little hodgepodge offering is called Steve's Picks.
And I'm Steve, Steve O'Donnell.
I was a writer on the original staff for Late Night
with David Letterman, starting in 1982.
And I was a writer for like a dozen years.
And for almost a decade of that time, I was the head writer.
OK, now the picks part is me picking clips that I like.
And I've done that.
Almost all from the first couple years of the show,
because I feel like that's when a lot of unsung, strange,
peculiar things could be put on the air.
For good or ill, we could experiment,
because we were on at a sort of marginal time.
And it was sort of unprecedented, in a way,
to have a network show on that late.
We were almost all a bunch of amateurs.
I was in my 20s.
Almost all the writing staff was in their 20s.
Letterman and the original head writer, the wonderful Merrill Marko.
They were in like their mid-30s.
My heart and my soul will always be in that first decade of the 1980s.
All right, let's look at some of my picks, shall we?
The first one is just a joke, and it's from a few years into the NBC show.
But I'll do the setup to spare us too much preamble.
Someone wrote in, in the viewer mail segment, and said,
"If I came to Rockefeller Center and took the tour, might I catch a glimpse of
Dave?"
And the answer was yes.
Everyone keep your eyes at the far end of the hallway.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Everyone look down to the far end of the hallway, right down there.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Everyone look down.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Next show is at 4:50.
That's all your first.
An area that was a special delight to me, because it was so much fun, and also
kind of unusual
at that time, was getting to write funny stuff and work on funny bits with
guest stars.
This piece, which I don't think gets seen very often, involves John Candy.
Hi, Paul.
Have you seen John Candy?
Yeah.
I think he's backstage feeding the goldfish.
Feeding the fish?
Oh, no.
They've been fed twice today already.
I've got to stop him.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
Folks, this was only a dramatization.
John, these fish are fake, right?
That's correct, David.
But if our little demonstration today was going to be a part of the story, and
he's dealing
with a challenging tragedy.
Hi, Paul.
Have you seen John Candy?
Yeah, I think he's backstage feeding the goldfish.
Feeding the fish?
Oh, no.
They've been fed twice today already.
I've got to stop him.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
They're fake, right?
That's correct, David.
But if our little demonstration today prevents even one fish from dying from
overfeeding,
it was well worth the effort.
Thank you very much, John.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, Paul.
All right.
Let's start the show now.
George Meyer had pitched.
And as writers, we loved pitching things that were just experiments.
Because you didn't have to write out long script.
You'd write the words humidifier versus dehumidifier.
And then you'd do it for a show.
This is the dehumidifier, is it?
That's right.
All right.
And over here, Jimmy, this is what you said.
It was the humidifier.
All right.
And your point is the humidifier works harder, is more efficient, and will last
longer than
the dehumidifier.
Absolutely.
So what we really have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a classic case of
opposing forces.
It's funny.
I can't remember if the humidifier or the dehumidifier won.
I think the dehumidifier, but I may be wrong about that the way I may be wrong
about everything
else that I say henceforward.
Oh, another great bit with a guest that I really liked.
When Leslie Nielsen came on, he recorded something for us.
God, we did so many pieces, museum pieces and so on.
Some of them is specific as the museum of the made-for-TV movie.
And this little clip from a made-for-TV movie, supposedly, involved Dave and
Leslie Nielsen.
And I think it's called Murder on Restaurant Row.
It's all there.
$100,000.
And what about my share?
Here's your share.
Hey, what is this?
It's really quite simple, Thornton.
You've outlived your usefulness to me.
Well, we can make a deal, can't we?
No.
No deal.
How about a drink?
One last drink.
Why not?
You can toast your death.
Thank you very much.
Things look a little different now, don't they, Clifton?
No.
Wait a minute.
We can make a deal.
No, no.
No deals.
Well, at least let me have some popcorn.
Okay.
Well, now where were we?
Okay, some people may recall that as Nightmare on Restaurant Row.
We'll have to go to the rundowns.
I'm joking.
We didn't write anything down in the rundowns.
Now, a wonderful piece from the first year or so of the show, written by Tom Gavel
and Max Cross.
It's a classic in my mind.
Just because it kind of imitated after school specials and stuff before that
stuff was routinely imitated and parodied.
And it's Dave being a sort of avuncular, wise mentor to a little boy who complains
that they took my show away.
Jimmy, are you going to do homework all night? Don't you think you ought to
watch a little TV?
I will, Mr. Letterman. I just want to finish in time for my favorite show, Voyagers.
Voyagers. It's a fine program. Keep an eye on the clock so you don't miss one
action-packed minute.
Uh, Jimmy, what do you say we go for a little walk, all right?
What about my show?
Well, we can talk about that outside, okay?
Okay.
You know what it means for a show to be canceled, Jimmy?
No. I don't think so.
Well, it's when a bunch of executives at a television network decide that a TV
show shouldn't be on the air anymore.
And then they take it off and replace it with something new.
Sometimes that's a good idea, you know, because the show is filled with bad
acting and bad writing.
And sometimes it's the executives who have been bad.
This canceled business. It, it could never happen to Voyagers, could it?
Yes, Jimmy?
And I'm afraid it has.
Jimmy! Jimmy! Hey, Jimmy!
Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!
Oh, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy, I've been looking all over for you. Hey, hey, hold,
hold on there.
Come on, Jimmy. I know how you feel. You heard it first, but believe me, you're
gonna get over it.
You don't understand. Nobody does.
Jimmy, just because a show is canceled doesn't mean it goes away forever.
It can live on through reruns, syndication.
You mean I might see Voyagers again?
Well, yeah, maybe in some form or another.
You know, Jimmy, I remember when they canceled Six Million Dollar Man.
Boy, I thought my world was gonna end.
But then the Fall Guy premiered and my prayers were answered.
Sure, it was a different time, slightly different format, but I adjusted.
And you know what? I grew a little in the process, too.
I know what you're saying, Mr. Letterman.
The Voyagers, it was different. It was really special.
I don't think I'll ever watch TV again.
Jimmy, don't ever say that.
Not even as a joke.
What should I do?
I tell you what, I'll show you the NBC Fall schedule.
Come on.
And I have a feeling we're gonna find a new show for you that just may turn out
to be as good as Voyagers.
It'll be a lot of fun.
It'll be a lot of fun.
And here's a show called Manimal.
This one's about a crime fighter who can turn into a snake and a bird.
This one, this one is about a chimp who lives in Washington.
You know, that'll be good.
Jimmy, I don't think we have anything to worry about.
And to think I was sad they canceled Voyagers.
This is gonna be the best TV season ever.
Maybe it will be, Jimmy.
Maybe it will.
- I will.
Thank you.