Name: Drew Barrymore Flashes Dave for His Birthday | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-01T16:12:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Drew Barrymore Flashes Dave for His Birthday | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Drew Barrymore Flashes Dave for His Birthday | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

I knew they would look great on your desk.
Yeah, they do. They're very nice. Please have a seat.
Okay.
Hey, how you doing?
I'm good. How are you doing?
Oh, I'm better now.
Happy birthday.
That's very sweet of you.
Now, didn't you just recently have a birthday yourself?
Yes, I did, and I made it through it.
Did you enjoy it, the experience?
Yeah, it was the first birthday of my whole life that I actually enjoyed,
because normally, on my birthday, I pretty much sit in the bathtub and cry.
Now, why? Because it signifies, what, the passing of time,
some kind of pointless existence?
No, I have no problem with age.
It's just a celebratory day, a day all about you.
Right.
It makes you kind of nauseous.
Hmm. But people are nice to you on your birthday.
Yeah, but they say happy birthday, and, you know, you're like thinking,
you're like, you know, you just want to cringe.
But this birthday was different.
I sat at a restaurant with all my friends, and I looked around.
How many friends do you have?
When you say all your friends, how many close friends are you talking about?
Do you have, like, ten really good friends?
Yeah.
Do you have five really good friends?
Yeah, there was, like, ten people.
I know.
You're blessed.
If you have ten actual friends, and not just Weasley, showbiz, hangers-on.
Exactly.
Now, are they actual friends, or are they Weasley, showbiz?
They're actual friends.
Okay.
People I work with, friends of mine, people I love, like my family.
Well, there you go.
Okay, good enough.
So I sat around, and I looked around the table, and I looked at all these
people on their faces,
and everyone was just sort of talking, and I almost started to cry, because I
just thought,
"Oh my God, like, this is the first birthday I've ever enjoyed."
I feel like, so, I like, "Oh, love, yes!"
Like, I'm in good energy, and I felt good.
Yeah.
So, whether you're sitting in the bathtub, or out at a restaurant with friends,
you're
just gonna burst into tears.
Well, I guess so, huh?
Yeah.
Oh, dear.
Now, what was this thing...
But these are happy tears.
What was this thing that I read about you, where you went to a club, and was
this on your birthday,
and you get up on stage?
It's some kind of a nightclub, some kind of a party.
Yeah, it's a nude performance, uh, dance art place.
I'm sorry, it's a, what is it called?
A nude art performance dance place.
It's run by this lady, Udi, who's like, this great lady who's doing his...
A woman named Udi.
Yes!
Yes, yes.
And she's really cool, and these people...
I think there's a guy here tonight looking for her.
Where is that guy?
Where is that guy?
There he is.
Hi!
Uh-oh.
Hee hee hee hee hee!
Now see, this is, this is one of the differences between you and me.
I've, I've been here since 1980.
Uh-huh.
And if you put a gun to my head, I wouldn't be able to tell you where to go for
a nude performance
dance club.
I know.
Yeah, I know you know.
It's called the Blue Angel, it's really, really cool.
Yeah.
44 Walker Street.
Oh!
Oh, you know, that's not, I know where that is.
Oh, man.
Okay.
Udi.
Where are you?
U-T-E.
Tell her you're a friend of mine.
All right.
All right.
Hello, Udi.
I see you.
Happy Da, Udi.
Uh, so then, so anyway, you're there, and what happens?
You get up on stage and you took all your clothes off.
Yeah, well...
Tell me that's not true.
Please tell me you didn't do that.
Did you do that?
Yeah, I did.
Yeah!
Why not?
You know, like...
What do you mean, why not?
Think about it.
It's fun.
Yeah?
It's liberating.
Free.
And were there people in the club?
Mm-hmm.
All friends or strangers, or...?
Uh, some friends, some strangers.
And you just leap to the stage?
Yes.
And you take your clothes off?
Well, wait, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God.
We got there, and my friend, my beautiful, wonderful friend, John Rosen, who is...
It's an act that we do, and he's Dick Haney, the world's funniest comedian.
Uh-huh.
But the whole joke is he's actually so bad.
Right.
But it is funny because it's so bad.
I understand, sure.
It's the old switcheroo.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And, um, I'm Lolita.
You're Lolita.
Yeah.
And I come out there, and I sort of...
Would you like me to do a dance for you?
Do it?
Paul!
Hi, Paul.
Paul, Jason Blue.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Look at that.
Man.
Remember the night Morley Safer was here pulled the same thing?
Yeah, that wasn't the same.
I would have only done it, but it was your birthday.
You know, I can't thank you enough for that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my best of Udi.
Oh, look at this.
Look at this.
Oh, my God.
Woo.
Yeah.
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Now, now, that... that was, you know, that was cute.
-Wow. We were just, like, topping ourselves. -I enjoyed that.
-That's not your pun intended. -Yeah, no.
I-I wish... I wish more of our guests
would consider that sort of thing.
Uh, Al Franken is on the program.
Placido Domingo will be here.
Let's talk a little bit about, uh, acting.
Of course, everybody knows that you're from, uh,
-like, the acting family of the world. -Yeah.
So, so, so you had to be an actress regardless, right?
Well, I-I think it's, I, you know, people say,
"Is it in your blood or not?"
I think after... I have to make the conclusion now that yes, it is.
-You like acting? -Yes, I do.
-Did you ever go to... -Actually, I...
Yes, I do. I'm not...
I can't act.
-You can't act? -No.
Well, you've been very successful for somebody who can't act, I think.
I-I... What I do is, is I believe that everybody has, sort of,
two personalities roaming around inside of themselves.
It explains, it explains the turmoil
that we all go through inside of ourselves, you know?
Get off your shirt, that kind of thing.
Exactly.
You know, the yin and yang, everything like that.
Um, I think I have, like, ten people running around inside of me.
And so, to put them all to a productive and creative use,
I become different people and create characters.
But I-I want it to be as real as possible,
and I want to be as free as possible.
If I tried to act, I don't think I-it would work.
-No, no. -It wouldn't.
Yeah. So, you're wrestling with some inhibitions,
-is what you're saying? -Yeah.
Well, now, was, uh, was E.T. like the-the first big, big film you had?
You were, like, nine. Was that how old you were?
-Six. -Six years old when you did E.T.?
-Yeah. -Oh, my God.
Do you remember E.T., the space monkey falls out of the sky?
-The space monkey? That's my favorite.
Now, was that like your-it had to have been, like, your first thing.
I mean, six years old forever.
Actually, I-I-I did do another film before that.
-What was that? -Called Altered States with William Hurt.
-Yeah. -Um...
-So, these are two huge credits. -Yeah, really cool film, huh?
You-you haven't even been to school yet,
and you've been in two major motion pictures.
-Yeah, I know. -Now, what-what was your relationship like
with, uh, Steven Spielberg, who is now, like, Mr. Big Shot.
-I know, like... -The biggest, most powerful in the world.
-Everything he touches, like, is like a rainbow, you know?
-Right. And we're all tired of him.
Do you have a relationship with the guy now?
-Yes, I do. -Is he nice to you now?
He's the best. -Yeah.
I mean, he-he's, like, really like a father to me.
I mean, he really is, and he still looks at me
like I'm his little girl.
In fact, I can't wait to hear what he's gonna say
about what I just did.
- -Um, he sent me the Playboy on my birthday,
and he had sent me, like, a card before, like, you know,
"I love you. I can't wait to see your movie.
Kate and I are going.
P.S. Playboy?" Like, question mark, you know?
And, uh, you know, 'cause I walk in his office,
and he sort of wipes off my lipstick, you know,
and stuff like that. -Yeah, well...
I love being treated like a little girl, you know?
Like, that's so great for someone
and he really is, like, a dad to me, you know,
-who I've grown up with. -Yeah.
And, uh, so, you know, we open up his present,
and it's like, um, there's...
here's my version of Playboy, and a huge blanket.
He's like, "Cover yourself up." -Oh, yeah.
So I'm like, "Oh, God, what is this?"
And, uh, we opened it, and his whole art department
worked on it, and they had put clothes,
-computographically, on my body. -Yeah, that's cute.
-in all the layouts. -Yeah, that's cute.
Yeah, that's the kind of-- that's the kind of thing
he would do. -Yeah, but isn't that great?
I mean, okay, Steve...
He doesn't know how to have fun, you know?
Uh, listen, uh, I was gonna wish you a happy birthday.
I'm a little confused.
It's-it's-it's my, uh, birthday.
You've made it-- you've made it--
gosh, it was fun.
Yeah, that was very nice of you.