Name: One Direction Meets Dustin Hoffman | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-01T16:14:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'One Direction Meets Dustin Hoffman | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'One Direction Meets Dustin Hoffman | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Hi, guys. Nice to meet you.
Can you slide down and make room for...
That's good. There you go. Come on in.
Snug in there if you can.
Do you mind if I sit on your lap?
No, you're not sitting on my lap.
But there you go. That's very nice.
I'll kiss you on your lap. Ready?
Wait a minute. Hold it. Hey! Hey!
Now, wait a minute.
Oh, my God.
Let's go to them.
He told me he was going to do it.
What a slut.
Okay, now let's do...
What do you think? And by the way,
I don't know if anybody told you this,
but when you're finished here tonight,
you get the giant couch.
Well, good job. It's really comfy, actually.
I'm glad you like it.
Now, listen. Help me out here.
Harry Styles. You, right?
Nice to see you, Harry.
Nice to see you.
Louis Tomlinson.
Hi.
Yes, sir.
Zane, is that you?
That's me.
Right?
Liam.
It's like a school register.
And Niall.
I'm about to get a clap.
Nice clap.
I know that you guys did not start as a group.
You wanted to be individual performers in the world of music.
Came together as a group after...
What's that guy's name?
The sweaters night?
Simon Cowell.
Yeah, Simon Cowell.
And he actually said,
go and come back as a group,
and you listen to what he said,
and look what happened.
Oh, my goodness.
Now, does he get a piece of what's going on here?
Yeah.
He runs our record label.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
Oh, be darned.
So that's how that works.
And how long have you been a group?
It's coming up to three years now.
About two and a half or two.
Yeah, two and a half.
Now, are you troubled with internal friction?
Internal friction?
A bit forward?
You know, I'm...
Oh, my God.
But what about all of those kids out there?
That happens everywhere you go, doesn't it?
Yeah, it's crazy.
Like, since we came out here,
you know, we didn't really expect anyone
to really know who we were or anything,
and then we came out here,
and, you know, the support's been amazing
since we got over here.
But this happened, like, a year ago
when you were at Radio City Musical, right?
You were opening for another...
What was the act you were opening for?
Big Time Rush, yeah.
Yeah.
And so after the show, what happened?
You leave the...
One of the great theatres of the world,
you leave that theatre, and what happens?
Yeah, we left,
and as our car was pulling away down the street,
very slowly in the New York traffic,
people just started running behind the car,
so it was just crazy, absolutely mental.
Yeah.
And people hiding in dumpsters and stuff looking for you?
Yeah, that was...
I was in Sweden that year, when we were recording the album,
there was a girl who'd gone to the extent of sleeping in a bin.
Whoa.
And so, now, the security must be incredible,
but you must have, like, your own militia.
I'm right about that, right?
I mean, it...
We have our own gang, yes.
That's right.
You have your own guns.
Whoa.
Gang.
Gang.
Gang, gang.
Gang without guns.
Oh, gang.
Yes.
Gang.
Friendly gang.
Gang without guns.
Friendly.
Nice people.
Or an organization, if you will.
Are you on a tour right now?
We're not right now, no.
We start in February.
And where will you go?
We start in the UK,
and then we come to America,
and then...
How many dates in the United States?
I think...
Good question.
In total, we're doing about 101 dates, I think.
Oh, my God.
And all...
You're always out.
You don't go home.
You're always out.
Once you're out, you're out?
We're out.
Yeah, we're away for about eight months.
Okay, I want to ask you guys
to just sit right there
and wait till your parents show up.
That'll be a while.
Yes, sir.
That'll be a while.
Look at you guys on the giant couch.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, it's a great pleasure
to have you with us.
Thank you.
Nice to meet everybody.
What part of Great Britain are you from?
We're all from kind of north,
and then now I'm from Ireland.
From Ireland?
When you say kind of north, what is that?
Well, I'm from Cheshire.
These two boys are from Yorkshire.
Liam's from the Midlands in Wolverhampton,
and then now I'm from Mullingham.
Nice to have you here.
This is Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson,
Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, and Niall Horan.
And later, actual music from One Direction.
Thank you very much.
Enjoy the couch.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.