Name: Top Ten Stupid Human Tricks | Letterman
Uploaded: 2022-02-01T16:15:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Ten Stupid Human Tricks | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Ten Stupid Human Tricks | Letterman' from Letterman on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-01. Transcript available.

All right, Ray, what are you going to do for us this evening?
I'm going to put a tarantula completely in my mouth.
Now, see, see, that's a tough guy, isn't it?
Going to put a tarantula in his mouth?
You got to be a tough guy.
All right, Ray, sure, go ahead.
And blow bubbles.
And blow bubbles.
He's tough but sensitive.
You see, that's his sensitive...
The tough guy, the sensitive guy.
Okay, Ray, go right ahead, sir.
Blowing bubbles with a tarantula in his mouth.
Here we go.
Has it got the stinger in it and everything?
Well, you could drop dead right here, couldn't you?
How do you know he won't...
Be careful.
I better put on the glasses for this.
I wish Claire was coming back.
Oh, my God.
He's going to kill himself.
Got a little champagne music.
Are you all right?
What are you going to do, sir?
I'm going to stop a ceiling fan with my tongue.
I'm going to stop a ceiling fan with my tongue.
Ah, excellent idea.
Here you go.
This is Brian Berg.
Watch it.
Watch it.
Easy.
I don't know.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is...
Uh, what are you going to do with that?
Um, I'm going to do some acrobatic archery.
No, that doesn't exist.
There is no such thing as acrobatic archery.
Stop it.
You're trying to get this in the Olympics, aren't you?
You never know.
I'm going to flip this around here.
Flip it around, sure.
Yeah, you've got to get the right side up.
Let's hold it right about there.
So we're both holding it.
Uh, no, you're going to keep hanging on to it.
I'm going to go over there.
All right, fine.
Great.
I know it's going to be one of those wacky bloopers
where I get hit in the nuts.
Thanks.
Yeah, do it upside down.
Are you doing it upside down?
Yeah.
I'm better with my feet.
Oh, no, wait a minute.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
You guys have a little thing you're going to do.
And what is it?
We'll do an impression of a helicopter.
Here we go.
Helicopter impression.
You got it.
Whoa.
You're going to show us a little trick you have tonight.
What is your trick, Morgan?
I will blow up this balloon with my nose,
and I hold it with my toes.
Well, I'm sorry.
You said what now?
Blow up the balloon with your nose.
And I hold it in place with my toes.
Well, first of all, I know medically,
if you blow up a balloon with your nose,
your brain will explode.
Taking off the shoes.
Having a seat.
All right.
Uh-oh.
Here we go.
Here.
Let's...
Here we go.
What are you going to do for us?
I'm going to cannonball this half gallon of milk.
I don't know what that means.
When you say cannonball, what does that mean?
Uh, no, people do it into a pool.
Uh-huh, right.
I'm going to do it on the milk.
You're just going to dive on the milk?
Correct, yeah.
With...
As a cannonball.
Going in with your butt or your stomach?
My feet.
Going in with your feet?
Right.
And then what happens?
Then it explodes, and I bounce.
It's pretty cool.
All right, here we go.
Like a drum roll, something dramatic,
he's going to cannonball the milk.
Look out, I'll be over here.
Tom McBeth from Medford, Massachusetts.
Watch it.
Watch it.
Watch it.
Don't get hurt.
You all right?
What is the five-man trick we're going to see here?
Well, the three of us here are going to fling the guy on the end around.
And then spit on him.
And then put a penny in his nose.
And then Matt's going to jump over him like a jump rope.
Oh, like a human jump rope.
Yes, sir.
From the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville,
it's the human jump rope.
Look out, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't get hurt.
Let's go!
There you go.
Come on!
Great.
Very impressive.
Nice job.
And the little thing you're going to do for us tonight is what, sir?
I'm going to drink milk up my nose and blow it out my eye.
All right.
Go right ahead.
Do you want, like, a squeegee standing by or a drum roll, Mike?
A drum roll would be great.
Okay.
I'll be right over here.
Thank you.
Here we go.
Drink it.
Oh.
He's got a...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Brian, what are you going to do for us tonight?
I'm going to juggle three apples and eat them at the same time.
Wow.
Where did you learn this?
Actually, I started juggling in junior high,
and I thought, you know, I'm a good eater, you can tell.
Going to juggle and eat three apples.
Take it away.
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's see what happens.
Here we go.
Yep.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Look at that.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
You have a little trick for us tonight, a little stunt, a little thing.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to bug my eyes out.
You're going to bug your eyes out?
Really, really big?
I'm going to bug.
Do you need any pneumatic equipment for this?
Any hydraulic tubing or hosing or any of that?
Kimberly Goodman from Chicago, Illinois, bugging out her eyes.
Let's see.
Wow.
Wow.
You all right?
Here it is again in slow motion for a reflex.
Kimberly Goodman and the eyes.
Watch this.
Yeah.
Boom.
Nice job.
Thank you very much.
Here it is.
Oh, man.
Get that something in it.
Get that.
Get that.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.
Get that blood pressure checked, ladies and gentlemen.